Wreck Me

“Are you having any thoughts of harming yourself or others?” I narrow my eyes on the schmuck sitting across from me. I’m not f*cking suicidal. I’m grieving. That’s it! I don’t think I may hurt myself, but if he asks one more irritating question I may contemplate bashing him over the head with that damn leather bound notebook.

“No,” I clip out. He watches me like the shrink he is and jots something down on the pad in his lap.

“You know, taking notes about me is really pissing me off. So save your f*cking note taking for later. Okay?” I slap my palm down on the arm of the chair he sat me in. This is ridiculous. I was all for the idea of seeing a doctor, but I didn’t think it would be like this. He is agitating me. He’s a nice looking older man, but his lack of response to me is beyond frustrating.

“Why does my note taking bother you?”

“I don’t like the idea of you…just…talking shit about me in your little notebook. You don’t even know me so how could you write anything about me?” He gives a clinical nod and continues writing. Jackass.

“Why would you have the impression that I think poorly of you? That I would write ‘shit’ about you?” He uses air quotes which only perturbs me more. It’s irrational. I’m aware of that, but damn he is getting under my skin.

“I don’t know. Maybe because I’m dating a rich entrepreneur who paid you six months in advance to see me because I’m a f*cked up, formerly homeless orphan with a host of skeletons just itching to jump out of the closet?”

“I take it you don’t feel like you’re on the same level as Mr. Cole?” I look at him like he is the world’s most dense person.

“Um, what part of that comparison did you not get? Super rich entrepreneur. Homeless, unemployed, orphan.” I hold out my hands like a scale and quirk up an eyebrow.

“Josephine, I don’t believe Damon views you like that. So why do you define yourself in such a way? Why can’t you say something else?” Well shit. I don’t have an answer for that.

“I don’t know,” I mutter and flick a piece of lint from my jeans.

“I guess I have never thought of myself in another way.”

“Okay well right now I want you to define yourself differently to me. I want you to introduce yourself to me and say all positive things about yourself.”

“Right now?” He nods and I see his stupid pen ready to jot.

“Alright. Um. I guess I um, I work hard. I don’t quit easily. I can take an ass kickin’, verbal or physical and keep going. I taught myself since I quit school at twelve years old. I‘m really good with books. Sutton use to say I’m a walking card catalog.” Thinking about it makes me smile, but sadness follows almost instantly. I am still getting use to the fact that he isn’t at the store waiting on me. It still hasn’t sunk in that when I stop to get Chinese takeout I won’t be ordering his usual sweet and sour chicken.

“Let’s talk about him a little.” I glance up at the old shrink and I’m compelled to talk.

“I went to the diner this morning for my usual breakfast routine and I swear on my life I saw an older man walking through the parking lot who could be Captain’s twin. My heart stopped when I saw him. I know it can’t be. I put him in the ground. Right beside my parent’s actually. I was the last one to see him before they closed the casket. He looked peaceful. Like he was sleeping, ya know? They closed it in front of me and wheeled him to the hole in the ground. Only four people came to his funeral. Me, Damon, Brian, out of respect for Damon I think, and one of his neighbors. That’s it. No one cared that he died. It still makes me sad and pissed off. More people should f*cking care! More people should f*cking hurt! Not just me! I’m so tired of it just being me. It’s not fair that it’s always me!” I have rambled on and broken down into a sobbing bone wracking fit of emotion. The good doctor comes to me and squats down in front of me. He hands me a tissue and pats me on the back. He sets the tissue box in my lap and returns to his seat across from me.

“Josephine, your mourning. You’re mad and that is normal and fine. You want to blame someone for the things that have happened. The first step I want you to work on is embracing the things that have hurt you. Stop fighting against all of it. Allow yourself to hurt. Allow yourself to cry as much and for as long as it takes until you get it all out. You can’t go on suppressing all these things. You have a future waiting for you and I can see that you want to go for it, but you have to cut your ties with the past young lady.” I nod and blot my eyes.

“I know. I want to try. I really do. Damon deserves better. He’s amazing and I love him. I’ll try for him.” The doc gives me a half smile and checks his watch. Right on cue our first session is over.

“Til’ next week doc.” I give him a finger salute and walk out.

When I get to Damon’s BMW I rest my head against the steering wheel. I don’t want to go back to the penthouse yet. It’s a bloody wreck thanks to moving boxes full of my useless junk. I can think of someone to cheer me. My ticket in is a bag of circus peanut candy. Perfect.

After stopping by a gas station to get the goods for Grams I get my ass over to her retirement home in a hurry. I adore that woman and honest to god, she is just what the doctor ordered right about now. She is wise and funny and smart. I could use the distraction of a nice long visit with Grams. I pull into a parking space and shut off the car. I pull out my cell phone and fire off a text to let Damon know where I am.


Stopped to visit with Grams. Be back soon. Love you.

A text hits my inbox a minute later. I open it as I walk across the parking lot.

Again. –D

I smile a broad face splitting smile and type out another text.

I. Love. You. ;)

Another text chimes as I make my way down the corridor to her suite.

Atta girl. I love you too. Kiss Grams for me.

I shove my phone into my bag, and round the corner and walk in through her open door.

“Hey Grams, I brought y-“ I freeze in place when I see that she has company already.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can come back.”

“No you don’t! Bring me that candy girl!” I give a tentative smile and walk into her room fully. An older man with glossy bloodshot eyes and silvering blonde hair grin’s a toothy grin from the chair beside Grams bed. Who the HELL is he? I hand the candy over the Grams wait for an introduction.

“Josephine this is my son, Edward. Eddie, this is Josephine, Damon’s girlfriend.” His eyebrows arch up and he crosses his arms over his chest. Great.

“Ah. So you’re the little mooching whore who I’m suppose to stay away from.”

“Who the f*ck do you think you’re talkin’ to you drunk ass slob?” I fire back.

“Hey! Both of you knock it the hell off.” Grams breaks up our verbal squabble and we are resigned to dirty looks and eye rolls for the rest of my visit. So much for being cheered up.

“Mom, I’m off.” Edward the drunk piece of shit leans over and half ass hugs Grams. Opportunity knocks.

“Yeah I guess I had better take off too. Damon is waiting.” I lean in and kiss her on her wrinkled cheek and hug her.

I jog to catch up with Edward in the hall.

“Hey!” He stops and turns to face me.

“I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but talk to me like that again and I’ll jack that jaw of yours into next week!” The next thing I know his disgusting hand comes crashing into my face. This motherf*cker just slapped me like he has lost his mind. Without thinking my hand draws back and then my balled left fist lands squarely on his lousy drunk mouth. He grunts and clutches his bloodied mouth.

“Don’t you ever put your hands on me again,” I grate out through teeth so tightly clenched they grind together. I turn and head for the exit. I glance at a nurse as I leave and her eye are wide with shock. Dammit, I’m going to get banned from visiting. Damon is going to be pissed at me. Just what I need right now.

On the drive home I tried to come up with a decent excuse for my pending ban from the retirement home, but came up with nothing. I bet they have already contacted him to tell him about my fist fight with his dad.

“Fan-f*ckin’-tastc.” I mumble to myself as I press in the code and the doors shut to take me directly to my doom. I will just be honest and explain myself. It’s the only play I’ve got so I’ll just go with it. If he’s pissed I’ll just grovel until he gets over it. Yep. It’s a plan.

I enter the penthouse and quickly start scanning for Damon and Hemingway.

“I’m back!” I shout. No one comes. Where the hell are they? Hemingway usually comes slipping and sliding in his clumsy puppy way to the foyer. I begin searching for them. I walk down the hall towards Damon’s office. I slow my steps when I hear talking. Who’s here? I slip through the half open door to his office and see Hemingway sitting on Damon’s desk and they are looking at his computer screen.

“What about this one Hemi? What do you think? Think she’ll like it?” Damon ruffles Hemi furry little head before noticing me at his door. His jaw clenches and I know he’s pissed. He sets Hemingway down on the floor and comes to me in a hurry. He grabs my hand from my side and drags me towards the bedroom. Ah, shit. We cross the room and into the bathroom. His hand grips my jaw and forces me to look in the mirror and I see why he’s flipped out. My lip is busted and blood has dried just below my bottom lip. Damn. I didn’t even feel it. Or taste the blood. Adrenaline is funny like that.

“Who busted your lip?” His chest is heaving up and down, his face has turned red and his one fist is balled so tightly his knuckles have turned white.

“I got into it with your dad. He slapped me so I punched him. He looks worse than me.”

“Josephine, I am not impressed with your humor. Tell me what the f*ck happened. Now.”

“He was there with Grams, he called me a whore and a mooch. I stopped him in the hall to tell him not to run his mouth like that to me and he slapped me so I landed a left. Busted his shit up good,” I say the last bit with pride because it’s true. His face bled a lot more than my measly little drop from a busted lip.

“I’ll kill him. I swear to Christ I’ll bury that sorry piece of shit! He ruined my life already I won’t let him mess with you!”





“You didn’t have to clean it like a mortal wound you know.” Damon turns his still furious amber gaze on me and I decide that my mouth should probably stay shut until he cools down. I offer a weak smile, but wince when my busted lip cracks open. The wimpy display only fuels my big man’s anger. He points a finger at me and I freeze in place.

“If you see him you leave. I don’t care where you are. You leave and call me immediately. You don’t go anywhere near that mother f*cker. Do you understand me?” His tone and urgency have me a little freaked out. I can handle a lush just like any other person, but something tells me he isn’t the typical drunk a*shole. Something distinct in Damon’s voice has me genuinely worried about this a*shole. He had a sinister grin on his face when I walked into that room. It wasn’t the kind of grin that means anything good. I need some answers, but it’s clear that they won’t be coming from Damon. He is far too pissed and is adamant about me keeping away from his father. I’ll have to talk to Grams again.

“I’ll steer clear of him, baby. Just calm down okay?” I step into his arms and brush my palm over his sculpted cheekbone.

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m a big girl.” I smile, but it does nothing to coax him into a lighter mood.

“You don’t understand Josephine.” He shakes his head and pulls me into his chest. His arms tighten around me and I can barely fill my lungs. He’s freaked out. Something isn’t right here.

“He ruins everything he touches. He sucks the life from everyone around him. He uses and hurts people then, throws them aside when they are of no use to him anymore. I would be completely destroyed if I ever lost you because of him. I’d never make it without you. I don’t want to make it without you.” His words have me worried and deeper in love all at once. My poor big man is screwed up like me it would seem. Maybe I should drag him to see the shrink. I laugh on the inside at the idea of my big Damon sitting in that chair I was in, talking to my new shrink about whatever. I can’t picture him doing it.

“Have you ever been to a shrink?” I have blurted the question before I have a chance to think it through.

“Yes. I have been seeing Dr. Versan for years.” He releases me and starts putting away the first aid kit.

“Oh. I-he didn’t say Not giggling any more. Years? How screwed up is he?

“He isn’t suppose to say anything. I told him not to. Besides, he is bound by patient confidentiality,” he explains simply.

“When did you start seeing the old geezer?” I know I shouldn’t push him, but I want to know. I have to know. I’m pretty screwed up and he knows what all my issues are with the exception of a couple, but I know next to nothing about his past. He never brings it up and up until now I haven’t cared much to push the subject.


“Long time. I was a teenager when I became his patient. Grams found him for me.” That’s it?

“Wh-”

“I don’t want to talk about it now, okay?”

“Hey.” I reach for his arm and stop his tidying.

“When and if you want to talk about it, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

“That’s precisely why I don’t want to talk about it.” What? I scrunch up my eyebrows confused by what he just said.

“Now. Let’s move on to more…pleasurable topics.” His hand wanders up my cotton dress and goes right for the junction between my legs.

“Are you always ready for me?”

“Pretty much,” I say shakily. Two knowing fingers go directly to my * and rub against the ultra sensitive gathering of nerves. My eyes slide shut. My head tilts back. With a quick jerk of my lace panties he has me bare and wanton. I see that my burly man has a method to his madness. Delicate lace panties tear easily, especially when they’re damp. He’s a dirty scoundrel. I love it. He grips my waist and lifts me to sit on his bathroom vanity. My heart pounds in my chest. I know he is frustrated and this is meant to bring relief. He isn’t going to make slow love to me. He is going to f*ck me hard and fast and I’m ready for it.

“Who keeps this sweet p-ssy wet, Josephine?” His words and breath against my cheek elicits an all over shiver.

“You do,” I say softly. Two long fingers slide into me furthering my need for him to fill me.

“And do you know why this p-ssy stays wet for me, Josephine?” His fingers glide over my inner walls three, four, five times before he pulls them out. I shake my head no. He pops the two fingers covered in my arousal into his mouth and hums delightfully as he sucks them clean.

“Because…” he unbuttons and unzips his suit pants freeing his erection. It twitches and juts outward in my direction.

“This…” he slowly hitches my dress up around my waist. I glance down and the sight of his wide tip grazing against my waiting opening makes my middle ache for him.

“Is…” he grips the shaft of his cock with one hand and slides the tip of it up then back down my seam. He comes to a stop at the opening to my body. His amber eyes lift to meet mine.

“Mine!” he bellows as he surges forward into me. I cry out loudly. No amount of sex with him can ever prepare me or acclimate me to the fullness of him. He pauses for just long enough for me to draw in the breath that his power forced from me. Both of his hands grip my hips hard. I wrap my legs high on his waist allowing him the access he demands. The veins in his neck bulge and throb with his accelerated pulse. I feel him pull out of me. Every ridge and vein sliding deliciously over my inner walls. He plummets back in deep. The wide tip of him jabs at my insides sending zaps of pleasure and pain through me. He sets a pace. A rhythm of womb jarring penetration. My hands cling to his muscular shoulders. He dives deep over and over and over again. With each plunge and withdrawal I am driven towards release. He stills with my channel sheathing his cock. I peek down appreciatively at the erotic beauty of our bodies joined together. It speeds my pulse even further. The sight of my lips accommodating his wide girth sends a new wave of heat to my center. He holds me tightly to him and cups my ass to lift me from the counter. I am pressed to him. Chest to chest. He turns and walks us to the wall.

“Hold on tight baby,” he warns and I have zero doubt that I should obey him. I cling hard to him. He pins me between the hard barrier of his chest and the wall. His torso has me pinned. His hands splay across my ass. The pain of his short nails digging into my soft flesh is welcome. He pulls his hips from mine dragging his heavy cock out of me. He drives back in impaling me hard and fast. His motions continue unrelentingly. I gasp and dig my nails into his back. His growls and grunts of pleasure are the only sounds to be heard other than the moist slapping of our bodies colliding. I am completely breathless with euphoria. Abruptly, my body begins the familiar tightening and jolting as the most sudden orgasm topples over me.

“Ah, Damon!” I scream his name and my vision turns distorted and spotty. Air hisses through his gritted teeth. He charges forward once again and stills, planted deep in me.

“F*ck!” He shouts as his body quakes and his cock twitches within me. His release fills me with new warmth. I revel in the sensation.

“Never leave me, please,” His plea rouses me from my revelry. I realize just how scared he truly is of losing me. Shit, maybe he is just as scared of loss as I am.

“Why are you scared of losing me? I’m not going anywhere. My heart is yours. I couldn’t leave if I tried.” He leans forward and rests his forehead against my shoulder.

“Just, never leave.”

“I’m not.” All at once I realize that his fear is not because of me. His mother abandoned him as an infant. It has to be the reason he is so scared of losing me. My big tough man has mommy issues. F*ck. No wonder he sees Dr. Versan.

He pulls away from me and the ebbing orgasm and adrenaline leaves me with an aching ass, and a throbbing vagina. I tip toe to recover my panties as if walking lightly will somehow appease my achiness. I glance at Damon and he looks regretful. Shoot. I have to get better at hiding my occasional discomfort when he’s rough. Seeing him regretful and sad is far more painful than my minor, temporary pain.

“Don’t look like that. I’m fine.”

“No you aren’t. I should know better than to touch you when I’m so upset. I hurt my woman.” He steps over to me and pulls me into him exactly where I like to be.

“I’m fine. I love you.”

“I love you more than you know.” I smile with my cheek pressed against his chest.

“I hate that I have to leave you alone, but I have some business to handle.” Opportunity.

“It’s no problem. I was thinking about going to the grocery store.” I smooth my dress down and head for the closet and new panties. I turn to see Damon right behind me and he is scowling at me.

“What?”

“You don’t need to shop. I pay someone to do it for us.” Us. That’s nice.

“That’s such a huge waste of money, Damon. I can go to the store. I have the rest of the day freed up. I am going to lose my mind if me and Hemingway are stuck here doing nothing.” He digs out his wallet and flips it open. Here we go with the money issue.

“Here. Go buy some shit for Hemi or for yourself. Or…whatever.” He shoves a credit card in my face and the name on it catches my eye. What? I snatch it from his hand and hold it close to my face to be sure that I’m not seeing shit.

“This is my name!” I hold up the plastic card accusingly.

“Yes. You are my girlfriend. I plan on keeping you forever. We live together. You need access to funds. So there it is.” My jaw hangs open and just like that I have lost the battle. Again. He steps forward closes my mouth with one finger pressed to my chin then kisses me tenderly.

“I love you woman. You and the fur kid stay out of trouble. I’ll be home in a couple hours.” He walks out of the big ass closet that now has all my junk on one side. I look down at my feet and there’s Hemingway also known as fur kid. He licks his little puppy mouth effectively reminding me that my “fur kid” needs food.

“What are we going to do with our guy, Hemingway? He’s a mystery. Answers what we need.” I scoop up my little guy and head towards the kitchen, but not before grabbing my cell phone. I’ll call Grams. She should be able to shed some light.