Where I Belong

I contemplate his advice in silence. That could be a better way to go about this. Winning her friendship meant gaining her trust which would surely grant me forgiveness. And friends did spend a lot of time together, and that definitely appealed to me. “Nolan’s crazy about her, and she’s amazing with him. Would I be a complete shit to use my kid as an in?”

“You are a complete shit.” He motions for the bartender. “Two Sam Adams, and did you card those f*ckers at the end of the bar?” I follow Luke’s finger and notice the two kids he is referring to. And they definitely are kids. No f*cking way are they twenty-one.

“Yeah, of course I did. Their ID’s said they were twenty-two.” The bartender gives us both another beer.

“Grab their ID’s for me,” Luke insists. The bartender returns seconds later, and I don’t miss the uneasiness in the eyes of the two kids. “These are fake. How the hell did you miss this, Ray?” Luke is on his feet and I’m right behind him. He holds the ID’s out in front of him, showing them to the kids. “You morons do realize that using a fake ID is a felony, right? How old are you?”

“We’re twenty-two,” one states with snarky confidence. His smugness alone makes me want to throw him out on his ass.

“Are you really that stupid to use a fake ID at a bar where two cops are drinking?” I ask, seeing Luke tuck their ID’s into his pocket. Either that or they’re blind. We’re still in our uniforms for Christ’s sake. “Answer my partner before I make you call your parents and I explain to them that their sons are getting arrested.”

“We’re nineteen,” the meeker one answers urgently. His friend starts sweating, his hands shaking at his sides. “Please don’t make me call my dad, officer. Can’t you give us a warning or something?”

Luke and I step closer to them, seeing them shrink and cower. I narrow in on the honest kid. “Get out now before your friend screws you both.” He moves quickly and his friend tries to follow, but Luke shoots his arm out to stop him.

“Don’t lie to a cop, a*shole. Especially when you’re dumb enough to use your real name on your fake ID, Parker Lance.”

“How do you know it’s my real name?” Wow. This kid is asking to get locked up.

“Because you’re too stupid to memorize any information that isn’t really yours. And no one would willingly pick the name Parker. I’d feel sorry for you if you weren’t such a lying piece of shit.” The kid opens his mouth to argue but smartly decides to shut it. “Get out.” His now panicked face disappears out the door and we reclaim our seats at the bar.

“F*cking prick. I should’ve made him call his parents just for being an a*shole,” Luke says. I nod in agreement as I stare at the bottles of alcohol on the shelf in front of me, taking generous sips of my beer. My mind is elsewhere at the moment and Luke notices. “Damn, man. I’ve never seen you this obsessed over some chick before. What the hell are you going to do when the summer’s over and she goes back home? You know that long distance stuff doesn’t work. Ask Reed. ”

I rub my temples with my fingers. “I don’t know. I can’t worry about that right now when I’m still trying to get her to tolerate being around me.”

“At the rate you’re going, you might not have to worry about it.”

I ignore him and down my beer. I can’t think about three months from now, and not just because I’m not anywhere near where I want to be with Mia. The thought of her not being five minutes away from me formed a knot in my stomach and a tightness in my chest. I hate the idea of not being able to see her on an impulse. What if I had a sudden urge to kiss her, touch her, talk to her, or breathe the same air as her and she lived four hours away from me? The thought was maddening. I knew I’d never survive that kind of distance from her. The girl I once couldn’t get far enough away from had become the woman I couldn’t get close enough to.

**

Later on that night, I grab my phone and open up a new text message. I only have three months with Mia, and I want to get the whole friendship thing rolling. The sooner she likes me as a friend, the sooner she’ll see me as I see her.

Me: Can I have Mia’s phone number?

Tessa: Why? Are you changing it up and trying to make her cry via text message?

Most days I love my sister. Most days.

Me: Look, I f*cked up when I was younger and I’m trying to make up for it. You know I care about her, so would you please help me out here? I f*cking gave Luke your number.

Tessa: I’ll give it to you, but you need to know that Reed got her number too. I don’t know if she sees him like that, but heads up. He’s a nice guy and he’s never made fun of her. He’d be good for her.

F*cking Reed Tennyson. I should’ve knocked his ass out when I had the chance.

Me: I’d be good for her. Reed can go f*ck himself.

Tessa: Easy, tiger. I’m secretly pulling for you if it helps. 205-555-7991

Me: Thanks. I owe you.

Tessa: I know.

I’ve never been nervous about anything involving women. Never. But right now, a simple text message is terrifying me.

Me: Hey it’s Ben. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime this weekend.

Shit. That sounds like I’m asking her out. Which is what I really want to do, but that’s not part of this new friendship route I’m trying to establish.

Me: Not like a date or anything.

Damn it. That just sounds shitty, like I need to clarify that I’m definitely not asking her out. Shit.

Me: Just as friends.

I chuck my phone to the end of the bed. I should just throw it outside to keep from making a further ass out of myself. It beeps and I dive for it like my life depends on it.

Mia: I don’t know.

I half expected that type of response. And I was locked and loaded.

Me: A certain knight is requesting time with his favorite princess. You wouldn’t want to disappoint him, would you? He’ll probably cry for days when I break the news to him.

Mia: Wow. Did you really just use your son as bait?

Me: I did. I’m desperate.

One, two minutes go by and I’m starting to sweat.

Me: I just want to spend some time with you. I’ve made you smile a few times and I think I can do it again if you’ll let me. I’m just asking for a chance, Mia. If you hate the guy I am now then I’ll leave you alone. I swear.

Fifty three seconds later, she responds.

Mia: Okay, fine. But I get to pick what we do.

I pump my fist into the air.

Me: Fine with me. What did you have in mind?

Mia: There’s this medieval dinner show I passed on my way here the other day. I think it was off two exits before Ruxton. Has Nolan ever been there? He’ll get to see knights jousting and stuff.

Holy shit. Nolan’s going to lose his mind. Why do I not know about this place?

Me: No, but that sounds awesome. Do I need to make reservations?

Mia: I’ll take care of it. Saturday work for you?

Every day works for me. I’ll rearrange my entire life at this point.

Me: Yeah. I’ll pick you up. Just let me know what time.

Mia: Okay. I’ll text you after I book it.

Me: I can’t wait.

She doesn’t respond to that, but I don’t need her to. The only thing I need is the chance she’s now willing to give me. I can finally show her the man I am now. I can make up for all the hurt I’ve caused her. All the pain. I’ll earn her friendship before offering her my life. It’s hers anyway. She just needs to take it.