Where I Belong

He finally steps back and I peek up, seeing him turn away from me. “Come on, buddy. Say goodbye to Princess Mia.”

“Bye, Pwincess Mia.” Nolan waves, tapping Ben’s legs with his sword.

“Bye, Sir Nolan. If I see any dragons, I’ll send them your way.”

I turn and head toward the bedroom. And I know I shouldn’t, I know I’ve had enough of him today, but I look over my shoulder anyway and lock on to Ben’s eyes. It’s as if he is waiting for that last glance, because as soon as he gets it, he’s out the door.





Chapter Seven


Ben

“Goodnight, buddy. Love you.” I squeeze Nolan against my chest, hearing his sleepy yawn. He rubs his face against my shirt before looking up at me, reaching his finger toward my face. I smile as he runs his finger down my nose and he giggles when I do the same to him.

“Nighty, Daddy.” He scrambles down the hallway, Angie following close behind him.

I hate sharing custody of my own kid. I want Nolan with me all the time, not just on days a judge allots. The system isn’t fair to fathers. Angie is a mediocre mom, at best, and she gets primary custody just because she gave birth to him. I hate leaving Nolan with her. She isn’t very attentive to him and that shit eats away at me. She never takes him anywhere, not even outside. Nolan is an easy kid. It doesn’t take much to make him happy. And the thought of her not making him happy nearly kills me.

Now that he’s getting older and figuring things out, he’s beginning to ask questions. Questions I don’t want to answer yet. He wants to know why he can’t spend the night at my house every night, or why I don’t live with him and his mother. I know I’ll eventually have to answer them, but for right now, I am able to get away with changing the subject to something that catches his attention. Like dragons.

And now when I think of dragons, I think of Mia.

She was amazing with him today, and he took to her like she was Tessa, who he also adores. I’ve never been so completely captivated by someone. She knew exactly how to handle Nolan, and God, she was sexy doing it. The way her tongue rubbed the corner of her mouth while she cleaned out his cut. The way her lips rounded out when she blew on his knee. The way her hair fell past her shoulders, tickling her breasts while she wrapped the bandage around his head. She calmed him down immediately, and she’d only met him an hour ago. And the whole knighting thing? Christ, if that wasn’t the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for him.

I had to touch her, it was killing me not to. So I took her hand and held it like I had that night at the bar. That slight bit of contact was enough for me. Then she gave me a yet, and I felt as if I’d been holding her for years. Pure euphoria washed over me. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, and I finally had hope. Hope that I was slowly tearing down her walls. Hope that she’d eventually come to like me, and maybe even more than that. I could work with a yet.

“Who the hell is Princess Mia?” Angie asks, walking into the kitchen with an irritated expression. “Nolan went on and on about some Princess that he killed dragons for today.”

I stand off my stool and grab my keys, keeping my smile hidden. “She’s Tessa’s best friend who’s visiting for the summer. Nolan met her today when I took him swimming.” I could’ve saved my explanation, because Angie didn’t care for it. She was too busy rubbing me through my shorts. I grab her hand and remove it with a disgusting grunt. “Get the f*ck off. I’m not interested.”

“Oh no?” She reaches for me again but I grab her wrist, pressing it against her body. “Jesus. What’s your problem?” Her forehead creases as she stares at me but her face relaxes with her next question. “Does this have anything to do with Princess Mia?”

I don’t answer, because Angie doesn’t need to know about my personal life. It’s not like we are friends and I can share shit with her. We aren’t anything. I brush past her and move toward the door. “Tell Nolan I’ll see him soon.”

“Are you really going to leave with a hard on?”

“What hard on?” I turn, stopping at the front door. “My dick doesn’t want you, Angie. Stop kidding yourself.”

“Well it wanted me last week, when I sucked you off and swallowed what you gave me. Or what about the week before that when I jerked you off on the couch?” She stands with her arms crossed over her chest, trying to come off as cocky and strong, but her face is giving her away. Angie hates rejection more than anything and I’ve been rejecting her for years. “We can make this work, Ben. You know we can.”

“There is no we. There never was. You’ve sucked my cock when you wanted to. I’ve never asked you to do that. I haven’t even touched you in three years.” I open the door and move out into the hallway of her apartment building.

“What about Nolan? Why can’t you at least try for your own son, Ben?

My blood boils. I grip the doorframe until my hand stings. “Don’t ever use Nolan against me. How the f*ck would seeing his parents at each other’s throats every second benefit him?”

“You won’t even give us a chance,” she pleads, her eyes glistening over with tears.

“Enough with the bullshit. I won’t pretend to have feelings for you just because you’re my son’s mother. I won’t lie to him. Ever.” I exhale roughly as her face saddens. “Make sure you tell Nolan I’ll see him soon.” And I don’t give her a chance to respond before I close the door behind me.

**

“So, let me make sure I’ve got this straight,” Luke says behind his beer. We decided to grab a few after our shift ended, and I’ve just made him fully aware of everything involving Mia. Everything except the fact that I took her virginity. “You tormented the hell out of this girl eight years ago—”

“Nine,” I correct him. Not that one year really matters one way or the other. But I feel putting the most distance between my old a*shole self and my current self helps my cause.

He waves me off with his free hand. “Whatever. You used to be a little dickhead, and now you’re kicking yourself because she’s smoking hot and the lay of your life.”

I write her name in the condensation on my glass, wiping it off before Luke sees it and gives me shit about it. “It’s not just about the sex. I could listen to her talk for f*cking hours if she’d let me.” I sigh heavily, meeting the eyes of my very amused best friend. “F*ck you. Like you aren’t completely whipped over my sister.”

“I’m not.” He is, he’ll just never admit it. “And if you asked me—”

“I didn’t.”

He flips me off before continuing. “I think you’re going about this the wrong way. You can’t expect Mia to just jump into a relationship with you when she’s hated you for years.”

“Why not?”

“Because she’s hated you for years,” he reaffirms. “She’ll just keep telling you to f*ck off.” He states his argument as if it is obvious, which I suppose it is. Even though I have undeniable chemistry with Mia, she isn’t going to acknowledge it herself while she still hates me. “Why don’t you try to be friends with her first? Let her see that you’re interested in more than just f*cking her.”