Chapter Fourteen
~Clare~
“This is where we’re supposed to be?” Logan asked as the cab pulled up to the curb. I looked at the hotel, admiring its beautiful exterior, complete with historic brickwork and elegant overhang.
“What’s wrong with it? It’s stunning,” I said as I helped Maddie out of the bright yellow cab.
“Yes, it is. It’s also subdued and understated,” he said with a frown. “Are you sure we’re at the right place?” He checked the address again and shrugged. He handed the cab driver several twenties causing the man to leap from his seat to help with our luggage.
The three of us waited on the New York street corner while the cabbie and valet unloaded our luggage. I looked down the busy street as cars zoomed by and peopled hurried along. New York was a different world. Seeing it now, I wondered how Logan survived the slow paced life of Virginia after living here. Looking over at him now, he was still busy staring at the hotel like it was a Rubix Cube he couldn’t solve.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, I guess. This just isn’t the place I would have envisioned. My mom is a certain type of woman,” he chose his words carefully.
“We’ll call her extravagant. She marries for money, and when the man she married stops giving her money, she moves on. Her last wedding was in Paris. Everyone was flown in for the week long affair, and it ended up costing her husband over a million dollars. They were married about a year.”
My jaw dropped to the floor. Who spent that kind of money on a wedding? I had that much sitting in the bank from Ethan’s life insurance and I was hoping to make it last a lifetime, but Logan’s mom had spent that and more for a wedding ceremony that rivaled Kim Kardashian’s.
“I guess we’ll never find out if we don’t go in, huh?” I picked up Maddie, who had been bouncing up and down gabbing about her first plane trip and entered the lobby. She had quieted down a bit, taking in the sights of New York as we drove here from the airport. It was adorable to see her tiny nose glued to the window of the cab as she tried to see the tops of the skyscrapers.
The lobby of the hotel was breathtaking, and everything you would expect from a historic New York hotel. Majestic marble floors led to a grand mahogany staircase. There were plush sofas and chairs grouped together making intimate seating arrangements. People wandered about reading and drinking coffee, speaking in just about every language known to man.
Logan went to the desk and checked us into our suite.
Once the valet escorted us to the elevator, I asked, “Is it weird to be back?”
“No,” he answered.
“No? Why?” I asked.
He shrugged, saying, “I have you and Maddie with me. I’m here, making new memories with you and that erases all the bad.”
I grasped his hand in mine, feeling the warmth seep into my skin. Sometimes I had to touch him just to make sure he was real and wasn’t a figment of my imagination. Why the universe had decided I was lucky enough to get this second chance, I would never know, but I wasn’t letting it go.
Exiting the elevator, the valet opened our suite and Maddie raced inside to one of the two bedrooms, immediately jumping up and down on the pristinely made bed.
“I guess that one is hers,” I laughed.
“I think they’re both fairly equal, so it doesn’t really matter. Besides, all I need is a bed...and you.” His voice suddenly became sexier and lower, taking on a rougher quality. I called it his “sex voice” and it was my favorite of all the different variations of his voice.
Logan had gotten over his fear of being intimate in the same house as Maddie very quickly. After Maddie’s bout with the stomach flu, he had spent every night with us and it had been pure bliss. Seeing him walk through the door after finishing his shift at the hospital, and waking up next to him made me never want to see him go. Maddie loved having him around. I secretly asked myself if we were moving too fast, having only dated for a few months, but it felt right. He fit in our world perfectly and we fit in his.
Ethan still filled my thoughts, as he always would. One night while Logan was working a late shift, I found myself sitting on my bed holding the letter he left behind. I smoothed my hands over its frayed edges, like I had done so many times before, staring at the words he’d written.
I had done the impossible. I had fallen in love. I’d been given a second chance at happiness, and I was diving in, headfirst. I placed my trembling hand on the seal, ready to break it and finally read what my late husband had written so many years earlier. I had so many sleepless nights wondering what he had written on those pages, and I was finally going to take the leap. At the very last second, as my breath was coming in short staccato beats in and out of my lungs, I threw the letter back into my night stand.
I was happy for the first time in years. What if there was something in this letter that changed that? I always thought “When You’re Ready” had something to do with moving on, but what if it didn’t? What if something in that letter changed the way I felt about Logan?
Looking back on that night, I felt angry. I had second guessed myself and made stupid excuses for my cowardice. I knew Ethan and I knew in the very depth of my soul that there was nothing in that letter but love. I’d made stupid excuses up for my inability to open that letter. I wasn’t ready. Still. When would I be ready? I had fallen in love with another man for God’s sake! I even had the strength to remove my wedding ring, tucking it away in my jewelry box to give to Maddie one day. But I couldn’t open that letter. Even now, feeling the heat of Logan’s body as he pulled me into his arms, I still didn’t know if I would ever have the courage to open it.
A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. Logan kissed me on the forehead before walking over to greet our mystery visitor. We weren’t expected until the rehearsal dinner in a few more hours, so I had no idea who this could be.
“Mother?” I heard a surprised Logan say as he pulled the door open, revealing a beautiful middle-aged woman wearing a pretty summer dress and matching sweater. She looked nothing like what I would have pictured, and based on Logan’s reaction, I gathered it was a new look.
“Hi, Logan. I’m so glad you’re here,” she said sincerely before pulling him into her arms.
A stunned and very stiff Logan returned the hug briefly, taking a step back toward me to grab my hand, as if he needed the contact to keep him grounded.
I had never met the woman, but I think this new look and the way she was acting had completely shifted Logan’s entire view of his mother. He looked lost and confused, and for once, I didn’t know how to help him because I was just as confused as he was.
“Are you going to introduce me?” she asked, looking down at our joined hands.
“Of course, how rude of me. Mother, this is Clare Murray. Clare, this is my mother, Cecile Carrington,” he said formally.
I stepped forward offering my hand, but she pulled me into her arms as well.
“Just call me Cece. The last name is going to change tomorrow anyway,” she insisted, letting me go so I could return to Logan.
“Who’s that, Mommy?” I heard Maddie say as she came to stand between Logan and me, her favorite spot nowadays.
“This is Logan’s Mom, Cece,” I said.
“Hi Cece. I like your name,” Maddie said, taking a step toward the woman. There wasn’t a shy bone in that kid.
Cece bent down so she was at the same level as Maddie, her eyes full of excitement as she looked at my daughter.
“Well I like yours too, pumpkin. I love your shirt, do you dance?” she asked, admiring Maddie’s pink shirt with ballerina frog on it that Logan had bought her.
“Yep. Mommy takes me to lessons. She says I’m a natural,” Maddie answered proudly, puffing out her chest to show off her shirt.
“Well, I was just in the gift shop downstairs, and saw the cutest ballerina necklace. If you’re Mommy says it’s okay, do you want me to show you?”
“Can I Mommy, please?” Maddie begged, bouncing up and down. Logan gave me a look that said the decision was all mine.
“Of course, baby. But, best manners okay? Cece’s in charge,” I instructed.
“Okay Mommy!”
“I’ll bring her right back. Just thought you two might enjoy a few minutes alone,” Cece said before scooping Maddie up in her arms and heading out the door. I could hear them chatting down the hallway and I found myself thinking Cece would make a wonderful Grandmother, which was odd considering the type of mother I knew she was.
“You okay?” I asked Logan as he stared out the picture window down at the busy street below, his body tight and rigid. He was so deep in thought, I could practically see them coming off of him in waves.
“That was not my Mother,” his voice was distant, as if he was still processing the last few minutes.
Closing the distance between us, I wrapped my arms around him, resting my head against his broad back, breathing in his unique scent.
“Talk to me Logan. I need to understand.”
“That woman you just met was warm and inviting. She was everything I wanted in a mother as a child, but never had. The mother I know is obsessed with material possessions and making sure she has someone around to buy them for her. She would have never allowed anyone to call her Cece. She was always Cecile. She gave up parental rights to my father when they divorced and I barely saw her after that. My sister and mother were just people I visited once a year when my father had nowhere else to send me,” he snarled.
“Something’s obviously changed. She’s different. Maybe she’s trying to make amends,” I offered as an explanation.
“I don’t know, but I have a hard time trusting this new version of her. So many years of neglect, how do I forgive that?” he said quietly, all the energy draining out of him.
“Just take it one breath at a time, Logan. That’s all you can do.”
The rehearsal dinner was lovely, and after being introduced, I was quickly becoming a fan of Cece’s fiancé, Robert. He was a banker, but although he was very well to do by most standards, he was by no means wealthy. He was, however, very handsome. He had dark features and piercing green eyes; he was the perfect example of what age did to good-looking men. It made them even finer, like a well-aged wine. It gave me a little thrill, thinking of Logan, and what he would look like in ten, twenty or even thirty years. Robert seemed very down to earth. He carried himself well, giving the impression that he was well educated, but he was very easy to talk to and made everyone in the room feel at ease.
The wedding was scheduled for tomorrow afternoon in the hotel’s ballroom. The guest list was small, only family and a few friends would be in attendance. The venue was beautiful, something I would have chosen actually, but it was peanuts in comparison to Cece’s previous nuptials.
After the food was cleared, the few guest mingled about, everyone stopping to congratulate the happy couple. And they did look truly happy. As I sat at the table solo, while Logan took Maddie on a walk around the lobby, his mother sat next to me.
“Hello, dear. Are you having a good time?” she asked, trying to making small talk.
“Oh yes, thank you. Everything is lovely,” I answered politely.
“I wanted to thank you for getting him here. I know he wouldn't have come otherwise.”
I didn’t know what to say. Luckily I didn’t get the chance to, because she continued.
“I’ve been a terrible mother. Actually I’ve been a terrible human being. I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me for all the sins I’ve committed against him, and I likely don’t deserve it. But I’m going to spend the rest of the life I have left trying to make up for it,” she confessed.
God, I hope this woman was being truthful. I wanted so badly to believe her.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what changed?” I asked, hoping she wasn’t offended by my boldness.
“You can ask me anything Clare. I may not know my son well, but I can see the love he has for you and your daughter. I want to be part of your lives, and I’m hoping you can help with that. As for the reason for my drastic life change? Well, it’s the reason we do many things in life. Love,” she answered simply.
“Robert?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said with a smile, “I met Robert after my divorce to Mr. Carrington had just been finalized. I was at a charity event doing my normal thing, showing off my latest designer gown, and flashing the many layers of jewelry I had on display for the evening. All those things I had to have, it was like a disease,” she shook her head in obvious disgust.
“While at the bar refilling my drink, I met a man. Robert. He was ridiculously handsome, and I thought I’d have him eating out of the palm of my hand by the end of the evening. But he didn’t fall for any of my usual tricks. Instead, he handed me a business card and said if I wanted to go on a date with him, I’d have to agree to get dirty. And then he walked away. Our first date was a hike. I was miserable the entire way, but I’d never done anything like it. When we returned the car, I was covered in bruises and dried dirt, but I felt amazing. I accomplished something and it didn’t require anything but me.”
“He changed you,” I said, when she paused.
“Well, I’d like to say I changed myself. He just helped. He taught me there was more to life, more to marriage than a bank account and a walk-in closet. When we moved in together, I sold almost everything I owned, and then donated the money to charity. It was the most selfless thing I’d ever done.”
She really had changed.
“Wow, Cece...that’s amazing.”
“Don’t give me too much credit,” she laughed, “I still buy designer jeans and I’m not planning on going to Africa to live in a hut, but I’m learning to live with less and look beyond myself. And for the first time since Logan’s father, I’m marrying for love.”
“Love has a way of completely altering your life, doesn’t it?” I said, watching as Logan held Maddie on his shoulders and they walked back into the dining room.
“Yes it does, my dear. Yes, it does.”
~Logan~
I had to admit, she looked beautiful tonight. I had never been to any of my mother’s other weddings, always finding excuses for why I couldn’t be there. She’d never been there for me, so why should I put forth the effort? But seeing her tonight on the dance floor with her new husband I felt the last of my icy layers beginning to melt.
When the three of us had returned to our suite last night, I asked Clare what she and my mother had been talking about for so long. She smiled wistfully and simply said, “Love.” She then proceeded to tell me about a woman I didn’t know, a completely different mother, and I found myself listening to every word. Could a person really change that much? I looked at Clare, remembering the man I was mere months earlier, and thought yes.
Love could do anything.
“They look happy, don’t they?” Clare said, sliding down in the seat next to me, a second slice of cake in hand.
“You know, I think they have a one slice per guest max on the cake,” I teased.
“Well then you should have given me yours,” she fired back. Realizing she left with Maddie, and came back alone, I asked “Where’s princess?”
“She met Robert’s mother at the dessert table and the woman fell victim to Maddie’s charm. They’re over there,” she pointed to the corner of the dance floor where Maddie was twirling around in her pink sparkly dress while Mrs. Erikson clapped from the sidelines. It was an adorable sight, and reaffirmed my belief that Maddie’s joy was the most infectious thing in the world.
As I was admiring Maddie’s performance, I saw Robert, my new father-in-law, approach our table.
“Logan, would you mind if I stole your lady for a dance?” he asked, holding out his hand to Clare. She looked over at me, batting her eyelashes with a sly grin, waiting for my answer.
Chuckling, I said, “I don’t know, Robert. Can I trust you?”
“I’ll be the epitome of a gentleman, I assure you,” he promised before taking Clare’s hand and escorting her to the dance floor. She graciously followed, her coral gown swishing behind her as she took his lead, looking beautiful and elegant.
“She’s lovely, Logan,” my mother said, taking the empty seat Clare had just vacated.
“I know,” I answered curtly, cursing myself for my rudeness. I knew she was trying, but a lifetime of hurt was a difficult thing to get over. Growing up with my father was hell, and I spent numerous nights staring out the window as a child wondering what I did wrong to make her leave, and how I could fix it.
“I’m sorry, I know you’re trying,” I said as an apology.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Logan. I have no right to ask you to forgive me. It doesn’t mean I’m not going to try. I want to be in your life, in their lives,” she said, motioning to Clare and Maddie.
I nodded, unsure of what to say.
“You really love her, don’t you?” she asked, looking at me as I watched Clare dance with Robert.
“With everything I am,” I answered with conviction.
She smiled, fiddling with the new ring on her left hand, twisting and twirling it around her finger.
“When are you going to ask her?”
“As soon as we get home. I’ve had the ring for weeks, carrying it around in my pocket, waiting for the right moment,” I confessed.
I hadn’t told anyone about the ring, not even Colin.
Clare and I had been out shopping one afternoon and stopped at an upscale antique store. We roamed around, looking at furniture, picture frames and artwork. I loved watching Clare in her element. She loved touching and connecting with anything historic and always ended up chatting with the store keeper about half a dozen pieces. While Clare looked at a nineteenth century armoire, I wandered over to the jewelry case below the register and that’s when I saw it. A flawless three carat oval cut diamond, surrounded by at least another dozen smaller glittery white stones, set in platinum. It was vintage, probably nearing a hundred years old and had recently been purchased from an estate sale. I knew it was Clare’s the moment I saw it. The second I dropped her off that night, I rushed back to the store, buying it on the spot.
“You’re nothing like your father,” my mother said gently, placing her hand on mine. I didn’t know if she was trying to convince me or herself.
“Is that why you left me with him?” I needed to know. I needed to know how a mother could give up her only son and never look back. It had haunted me my entire life, and I needed closure from this woman.
“Yes,” she said quietly, letting out a long breath, as if the confession has just released twenty-seven years of tension and guilt from her body.
“I loved your father. He was harsh and cold to the rest of the world, but never with me. I never knew why. I don’t know, maybe he saw me as some sort of exotic flower,” she laughed harshly. “I came from new money and he came from old. My parents were eccentric, and his were refined. I always thought our differences would keep our love new and alive, but in the end, it destroyed us.”
“You embarrassed his precious image,” I said plainly. I knew that much. Although I didn’t know why.
“Ah ,yes,” she said, “Something you’ve learned firsthand. I thought he’d stand by me, but no. He sent me away, like a discarded piece of trash.” The hurt was still evident on her face, even after nearly three decades.
“What happened?”
Taking a deep breath, she told me the story of her fall from grace.
“We were members of a country club. Very upscale, very affluent. Your father’s still a member if I’ve heard correctly.” I nodded. I knew the club she was talking about. It was a club for old money, a term used for people who came from wealth. My father had made his own money, but he had a head start from his own father, the grandson of an oil tycoon. Our family’s money went back generations.
“I was there for a charity meeting with all the other wives. I hated those meetings. In fact, I hated everything about that club. I was judged the minute I walked in just because I didn’t have the right last name. I excused myself to head to the ladies room, and was approached by one of the valets. He was around my age, working the club on his summer break from law school. He was very handsome, but I was not interested. Unlike many of the other women in the club, I was not helping myself to the staff,” she said defensively.
From what I had observed at the club, they still did. Apparently it could be a very lucrative career for the right person. I still remember Declan telling stories of the waiters being able to fund an entire year of tuition in one summer.
“He cornered me, saying I was a tease and a flirt. He pushed me up against a wall, pinning my hands so I couldn’t get free. Around that time, the women from my table walked by. They of course assumed the worse of me, and the rumors started. I tried to explain, but it was too late.”
If I hadn’t already hated the man, I would now.
“So why did you leave me with him?” I asked.
“You were only five, but you were the exact replica of him. I could see you becoming him. You worshiped him, did everything he asked, always trying to make him proud. If I had been a better woman, I would have pulled you out of that home and never looked back. But I was weak, heartbroken and stupid. I saw a small version of the man who’d just broken me, and I ran,” she confessed.
I looked out onto the dance floor, Clare and Robert’s dance long since over. I think she was staying away on purpose, giving me some time with my mother. Time I needed to process everything I had just been told.
“But you took Eva. You left me and took Eva,” I emphasized, trying to understand why I was left to be raised by a heartless monster. That was something I never understood. I was the one she left behind. My sister was the chosen one, and I was the one forgotten.
Tears trailing down her cheeks, she said, “I know. She was so young, only two. And I figured if I could save one of you, maybe I’d be redeemed for leaving the other behind. Unfortunately, I was probably the worst type of person to raise a child. Eva is the exact replica of me, before Robert.”
It had been years since I had seen my sister. The last time was her college graduation. She’d barely made the grades for the diploma and blew every dime my father gave her less than a week after it hit her account. I doubted much had changed.
“I owe both of you so many apologies. But it warms my heart to see you happy finally. Don’t wait too long, Logan. You never know what life is going to throw at you. Ask that woman to marry you and start your life.”
I nodded, agreeing with her for maybe the first time in my life. I was not going to wait any longer. The second the plane touched down and we had a second alone, I was going to ask Clare to marry me. We had an entire life to plan, and I didn’t want to spend another second without her as my wife.
The evening wore on and Maddie’s energy level bombed, so we said our goodbyes and congratulations to my mother and Robert, knowing we wouldn’t see them again. They were leaving first thing in the morning for their honeymoon in Hawaii. I smiled thinking of our vacation plans coming up in August. We were taking Maddie to St. Thomas for her birthday. She didn’t know and we weren’t going to tell her until the morning we left. I couldn't wait to see her face. I also couldn’t wait to spend an entire week with Clare on a secluded beach, seeing her beautiful body in a bikini…or not.
“Do you want me to take her?” I asked Clare as we headed for the elevator in the hotel lobby. Maddie was draped over her, arms wrapped tightly around her neck and completely asleep.
“No, it’s okay. I’ve got her. She was the life of the party, wasn’t she?” Clare said, laughing.
“Yeah, she was,” I chuckled, completely happy and contented.
Just then, I saw a familiar looking blonde headed our way, coming from one of the other larger ballrooms.
F*ck.
Maybe she wouldn’t see us.
“Logan!”
“Rachel,” I said calmly, turning to greet her, “So nice to see you.” I leaned into Clare, placing my hand on the small of her back, hoping Rachel got the hint to go the f*ck away. She apparently didn’t, because she continued.
“You too. It’s been ages! I’ve missed you. Have you moved back?” she asked as her eyes inquisitively lingered over Clare and Maddie before returning back to me. She looked exactly the same as she did the last time I saw her. Same fake blonde hair, same fake smile.
“Uh no. Just visiting. My mother was married today, and we were just here for the wedding. This is my girlfriend Clare, and her daughter Maddie,” I said.
Dear God, can we please leave now?
“Clare, this is Rachel. She and I used to work together.” Clare gave a cursory nod and Rachel did the same, before saying with a wink, “Wow, didn’t take you for the monogamous type Logan.”
This woman was relentless. What had I seen in her? Oh right, nothing.
“Yes, well I am. Very. We need to get Maddie upstairs. It was nice seeing you.”
What I wanted to say was “Go the f*ck away,” but I opted the high road, hoping for a quick exit.
“You too, Logan. The hospital’s not the same without you. If you ever want to come back, just let me know. You’ll always have a job ready and waiting for you,” she purred. I’d never heard a job offer dripping with so much sex before, and if it hadn’t been obvious that we’d slept together, it was now.
Tension and anger rolled off of Clare in waves as we entered the elevator.
“Clare, I...” I stuttered, trying to find the words to explain.
“Don’t. Just don’t. I’m not ready yet.”
The elevator stopped at our floor. We walked in silence to our suite. I unlocked the door and Clare disappeared, taking Maddie to her room, while I collapsed on the sofa, wondering how much my past was going to f*ck this up.
Minutes, hours, days went by before she came out of the bedroom door. She was still dressed in the coral strapless gown she had worn to the wedding. She looked like a goddess come to life. Cautiously, she sat down next to me, tucking her feet underneath her as she smoothed out her skirt.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Wait, what? Why are you apologizing to me?” I asked, stunned. It hadn’t been her past walking around eye-f*cking her in the hotel lobby. And if it had, the asshat would have left with a broken nose.
“When I fell in love with you,” she started, “I accepted all of you, including your past. I refuse to let my jealousy over some hussy doctor or anyone else get in the way of our happiness.”
“You were jealous?” I asked, astonished.
She snorted, saying, “Jesus, Logan. She was practically purring, like she was reliving the entire event right there in the lobby. Damn right I was jealous. I wanted to scratch her eyeballs out.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed, feeling so relieved she’s wasn’t storming out the door.
“You’re vicious, you know that right?”
“Don’t laugh at me,” she pouted, “Besides, if the tables had been reversed and that had been my casual f*ck we’d run into, how would you have reacted?”
I instantly saw red. My fists tightened, and my breath grew rapid. Just the thought of seeing another man, knowing he had touched Clare, seen Clare….
“Exactly,” she said. “See? I was quite reserved.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I stated. I was done with talking about our pasts, the many mistakes I made, and a lifetime of regrets. I wanted Clare and Maddie, and nothing else.
“Really?” she grinned,” ‘cause I think I would really like to continue this conversation. It’s titillating”
“Nope, sorry. We’re done talking for the evening.” I announced right before I stood, pulling her from the couch and swinging her up in my arms with my intention set on the bedroom.
“Put me down! Why do you insist on carrying me everywhere?” she laughed, throwing her arms around my neck.
“I thought it would have been obvious by now,” I answered, “I’m not whole without you in my arms.”
Without warning, she pulled my head down, kissing me hard, as I stumbled in the doorway to our room. Struggling to stay upright as we devoured each other, I entered the dimly lit room, setting her down near the middle. We continued our frantic kiss as her body slowly slid down mine.
“You know, I never had a chance to dance with you tonight,” I said, pulling back to whisper in her ear.
“We don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to dancing in a public place,” she laughed softly.
“Ah, but we’re not in public now, are we?”
“No, we’re not. But we don’t have any music,” she pointed out as I wrapped my arms around her and began to move us back and forth.
“Who needs music?”
Our bodies swayed as I led us in an intimate waltz.
Ever so slowly, my hand found the zipper of her strapless dress, pulling it down inch by inch until the fabric pooled to the floor in a billowing heap. Clare was left wearing nothing but coral panties and a matching strapless bra. She looked radiant, and I didn’t think I would ever grow tired of seeing her body, touching her skin, or feeling her writhe below me. Tucking my fingers under the waistband of her panties, I slowly slid them down until the joined her dress on the floor. I made quick work of her bra, unsnapping it with a flick of my hand and it too fell to the ground, leaving nothing but Clare.
She took her time undressing me, running her hands over my naked skin, making me groan. We danced to a symphony of beating hearts, slow lingering kisses, and our combined breath. It was the most beautiful song ever created.
When we finally made it to the bed and our bodies came together, I found my home again. My solace. My shelter from every terrible memory of my life. This woman with the beautiful red curls and bewitching green eyes who captured my heart had given me everything.
“I love you, Logan,” she murmured as our tangled bodies moved together in tandem
“I’ll love you forever, Clare,” I vowed before we both fell over the edge, lost in our mutual release.
She was my salvation and if she would have me, I would spend my entire life worshiping at her feet.