Chapter 7
Lilly
“Stay away from my husband.” I look up, along with every child in my classroom.
“Can I help you?” I stand up from where I was sitting on the floor in a beanbag chair having story time.
“You need to stay the f*ck away from my husband!” It takes a second for me to realize who she is and who she’s talking about. She looks different from the last time I saw her at Cash’s parents’ house; her once brown hair is now blonde, and she’s wearing jeans and a sweater that is cut low, showing way too much cleavage and it looks like she has lost twenty pounds.
“Let’s talk in the hall,” I say softly. I have a classroom full of seven and eight year olds; I don’t need her to start yelling and screaming in the middle of my classroom.
“I don’t want to talk to you in the f*cking hall. I want you to tell me that you will stay away from my husband.” I walk to the door of my classroom. Once there, I turn slightly to look at my students.
“Molly, will you please finish reading the rest of the story to the class?” Molly stands, picking the book up off the floor before sitting in my chair. Once I see that she is seated, I turn to face Cash’s ex.
“Let’s just step out into the hall.” I step out, hoping that she will follow me and not cause a scene in front of my students.
“I told you already, I’m not talking to you in the f*cking hall. I am not talking to you at all. The only thing that I want is for you to tell me that you are going to stay the f*ck away from my husband.”
“Can you please calm down? There are children here and you are scaring them,” I say quietly, stepping further into the hall. She finally steps out with me. I take a breath, feeling better knowing that she is away from my kids. I pull the door closed behind me, turning to face her.
“So, tell me that you are going to stay away from him.” She crosses her arms over her chest, glaring at me. I am not going to stay away from Cash. I love him. He is amazing with Ashlyn and Jax. He makes me smile, and I am really happy for the first time in a long time.
“You and Cash are divorced, and if you have a problem, you need to talk to him about it,” I tell her, using the same tone I use when speaking to students that are misbehaving.
“He will always be mine, and when I want him back, he will come back to me.” It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her why she did what she did to me—making me believe that Cash had wanted me to get an abortion while holding her own pregnancy over his head. “I will talk to him.” She leans forward, forcing me back. “I am going to let him know that if he doesn’t stop seeing you, I will make it so he won’t see his son.”
My stomach drops. “You can’t do that.” I do not understand why she is so hateful.
“You, bitch, do not get to tell me what I can do. Just stay the f*ck away from him!” she yells.
“Lilly, are you okay?” My eyes fly to the door across the hall from mine. David has his head peeking out, looking between Jules and me.
“Yes, fine. Sorry about that, David. She was just leaving.”
“I’m not leaving until you say the words I want to hear.” I look down the hall, watching as the principal starts heading our way. My pulse speeds up; she looks mad—really mad. Oh God, I was going to get fired. I knew right then that my job had just been lost because of Jules.
“Lilly, what’s going on? You have students, and I have gotten three calls from different teachers about cursing and yelling in the hallway.”
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Jennings. She was just leaving.” I look at Jules and her face completely changes; her eyes start to tear and she points at me. “She was yelling and cursing at me. She is having an affair with my husband. I came here to talk to her, to try to get her to understand that I have a child.” She breaks down sobbing. I am stunned. I cannot believe that this is happening.
“Oh, my God,” I whisper in shock. Mrs. Jennings looks at me with complete disgust, and she would believe it; rumor has it that her husband had been caught cheating on her with a close friend.
“That’s not true.” My voice is so quiet it can hardly be heard over the sounds coming out of Jules’s mouth.
“Lilly, I am going to have to ask you to wait in my office while I find someone to take over your class for the day.”
“Mrs. Jennings, please.” She glares at me, pulling Jules into her arms.
“You need to get your bag from your classroom and wait for me in my office. I will be there shortly.” I look between her and Jules before walking into my classroom. I know it’s pointless to argue with her right now. I turn away from them, walking back into my class where my students are all talking quietly around the reading rug.
“I’m sorry, you guys, but I am going to be leaving for the day. Mrs. Jennings is going to be sending in another teacher to take over. Until she gets here, pull out your solar project and start working on that.” I watch as they all get up off the ground, going to their desks to start working. I go to my desk and grab my bag, along with a few personal items that I keep in my desk. I want to tell my class how much I have enjoyed teaching them, but I know that they are already upset about the way Jules was acting, and if I say the wrong thing, it could upset them even more. I leave the class, closing the door softly behind me. I walk around Jules and Mrs. Jennings, and head straight for the principal’s office—what a cliché. When I get there, her secretary shows me in and I take a seat, waiting for my execution. It takes about fifteen minutes for Mrs. Jennings to enter her office, and I know the second I see her face that my job is not salvageable.
“Mrs. Donovan, what happened today is unacceptable,” she says in a tone that makes me shift in my seat.
“Yes, I know, but if you—”
“I am going to be turning your case over to the school board,” she cuts me off.
“But if you would—”
“You will be put on leave until the board is ready to hear your case. You will be assigned an advisor from the union.” She wasn’t going to let me speak; her own situation wasn’t allowing her to. I shake my head.
“Mrs. Jennings,” I try again.
“You’re dismissed until further notification. Your belongings will be packed up and waiting for you in the attendance office. You can pick it up any time after tomorrow.” I sit there for a second, trying to come up with something to say, but no words are making it from my brain to my mouth. “That will be all, Ms. Donovan.” She waves her hand, then looks down at some papers on her desk and starts writing. I’m dismissed. I stand on shaky legs, trying to keep it together, at least until I’m in my car. Once outside, the cool air helps make it easier to breath. I dig around in my bags until I find my keys, fumbling with them until the door unlocks. I sit behind the wheel, laying my head against the headrest. I have no idea what I’m going to do. I open my eyes when there is a tapping on my window. I turned my head, seeing Jules. I’m not going to roll down my window or open my door. I’m done dealing with her. I put my key in the ignition and turn my car on. She starts banging on my window harder, yelling at me to open the door. I don’t even look at her when I click my seatbelt into place before putting the car in drive. That’s when my window shatters. I scream, looking up at Jules as she reaches her hand in, grabbing a handful of my hair. I hit the gas. Pain rips through my skull. She runs with my car for a second before being forced to let go. Tears start streaming down my cheeks from the pain at the back of my head and the stress of the day. I look in my rearview mirror, seeing if I can spot her following me, but she is nowhere in sight. When I pull into a large parking lot, I put my car in park, digging out my phone. I need to talk to Cash and tell him what happened. Once I finally get my phone and call his number, his phone rings once before going to voicemail. I lay my head back for a second before deciding that I may as well go pick up Ashlyn from Susan. When I call her, she tells me that she and Ashlyn took lunch to the jobsite, and to meet her there. I hang up, putting my car back into drive. My hands are shaking the whole way; I don’t even remember driving when I pull up next to Susan’s car. I don’t even think; I hop out of the car, glass falling to the ground at my feet. Nico walks around the corner at the same time, his eyes going from my face to the window, and then to the glass that is now littering the ground.
“What the f*ck happened?” he growls. Tears fill my eyes. I shake my head, not knowing where to start. He pulls me into his arms, rubbing my back.
“What the f*ck are you doing?” I hear Cash’s voice, and I want so badly to see him, but I can’t lift my head. I think I am in shock; it’s so hard to take a breath.
“Breathe, Lilly. Breathe,” I hear Nico plead, right before I am turned and arms wrap around me, and the smell that is all Cash washes over me.
“Baby, what the f*ck is going on?” Cash says softly into my ear. I pull at his shirt, needing to be closer to him. I start to cry harder. “Baby, I need you to tell me what’s happened.”
“I got fired,” I breathe out, stepping out of his arms. I bend over, putting my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.
“You got fired?”
“Yes, Jules came to my classroom and told me to stay away from you, and then my principal showed up. Jules started to cry, and then I got fired.” I try to get all the words out in-between harsh breaths.
“Why is your window broken?” Nico asks. I look up to see Cash’s concerned eyes on me.
“Jules broke it before I could get away,” I tell them.
“Jules broke your car window?” I nod, hugging my waist. I want to sit down before I fall over. Cash takes two steps, pulling me into him; his hand goes to the back of my head to tuck my face into his chest, and the pain has me crying out. “What the f*ck?” I put my hand to the back of my head. There’s not a bump, but I can feel a slight bald spot, along with heat coming off the area. “What’s wrong with your head?”
“She had a handful of my hair when I drove off.”
“I'm going to f*cking kill her!” Cash growls, holding me tighter.
“You need to press charges,” Nico says looking at me, and I can see that he is barely holding on to his temper.
“I don’t want to make it worse,” I say, looking up at Cash.
“If you don’t press charges, there will never be any proof of what she did,” Cash says.
“I hate this. Why is she doing this?” I ask, laying my forehead against his chest.
“She’s crazy, baby. I don’t think there is a reason for anything she does.”
“Why did she let you divorce her if she was going to act crazy?”
“She didn’t let me divorce her. She tried to contest it, but her plan fell through when she saw how much money it would cost her to keep playing games. She tried to get custody of Jax, but the judge who had the case, didn’t believe he would be in good hands if placed with her.”
“I think she needs medication,” I say quietly. There is no way someone can act like she does and not need serious help. I pull my head up and look between Cash and Nico, and I can tell they are having a silent conversation. “What?” I ask, looking at Nico.
“I'm going to call the cops and have them meet us here. When they leave, Cash and I can take your car to get fixed.”
“Are you sure about this? I mean, do you think if we ignore her, she will go away?” I ask, looking between the two of them.
“F*ck no. That bitch is like crabs—you ignore them and they spread,” Nico says. A laugh bubbles up my throat, and I am just about to ask him if he is speaking from experience when he says, “No, I have not had that shit, so don’t even ask.”
“Alrighty then.” I bite my lip when he glares at me. I know that on the inside he is a big softy, but there are times when I can see an edge of darkness about him. It was the same thing I saw in their cousin Kenton when I met him at a bar-b-que we had a while back, but Kenton’s darkness is right there out in the open. I don’t know if it’s because of the job he does, or the people in his life, but something about him scares me in a way I would never want to be on his bad side. I watch Nico pull out his phone; he walks off before he puts it to his ear.
“I'm really sorry about this,” Cash says, and my eyes go to him.
“It’s not your fault.” He raises an eyebrow. “Okay, she’s your ex, but it’s still not your fault. I just can’t believe that she went so far.”
He sighs, laying his forehead against mine. “Me either, honestly.”
“She said that she is going to get Jax.”
“I have full custody. She’s just spouting bullshit.” I wrap my arms around his waist, trying not to think about the chance that Jules could ever get custody of Jax. I know how much Cash has sacrificed for his son; I don’t want anything to jeopardize that.
“Cops are on the way,” Nico says, walking back over to us. “When they get here, I want you to make sure that you tell them everything that happened. And I want you to tell them that you are pressing charges and applying for a restraining order.”
“Okay.” I take a breath, letting it out slowly. It takes about thirty minutes for the cops to arrive. They ask a few questions and take pictures of my car window, and then the back of my head at Cash’s demand. After they leave, I look at Cash and Nico. I can tell that they are up to something. “What’s going on?” I ask impatiently.
“Nothing, sugar. Why don’t you go see Ashlyn? She’s in the trailer with Mom. Me and Cash will take your car and get the window replaced.”
“But—”
“Baby, go inside. When you’re ready, I want you to take my truck and the kids to my house. I will be home later.”
“But—” I try again, getting sick of people not letting me get a word in. He shakes his head, and then wraps his arms around me, pulling me flush with him. His face goes into my neck, and I can feel him taking a few deep breaths.
“I want you to go inside and sit with Mom until you’re ready to take the kids home,” he repeats.
“What are you going to do?”
“I'm going to get your car fixed. Then I'm going to meet up with my dad.”
“And that’s all?”
“That’s all,” he says, avoiding my eyes.
“Please, don’t do anything stupid. And you,” I say, pointing at Nico, “if he gets in trouble, I'm going to hurt you.”
Nico smiles, and then looks at Cash. “Whatever you say, sugar,” he says, walking off to my car.
“Please be careful,” I say, standing up on my tiptoes, pressing my mouth to his. Cash groans, wrapping his arms around me and plastering me against him.
“I won’t be long. Hang out with Mom for a while, before you take the kids home. We can order in food if you want.”
“So, you don’t want fish sticks and tatter tots?” I ask, knowing that was the only thing left in our freezer.
“No, thanks.” His face looks disgusted at the idea of fish sticks, making me laugh.
“Okay, I will see you in a little while.”
“See you,” I say, taking a step back. He starts to walk off, and then turns abruptly, walking back to me. His hand goes to the back of my neck and pulls me forward, being mindful of the back of my head, and this time, the kiss is all tongue and teeth, and when he pulls his mouth from mine, I'm completely breathless. “What was that?”
“Love you. See you when I get home,” he says. His eyes flash before he turns and walks to my car, climbing inside. I go up the steps of the work trailer and watch as he pulls away. Once I can no longer see him, I go inside and sit with Susan for a while, watching the kids finish a project she has set up for them. While they are occupied, I explain to Susan what happened with the police, and why they took me in for questioning last week. I’m so worried she won’t believe I didn’t do what they accused me of, until she pulls me in for a hug, much like my mother would do. When she pulls away, she puts her hands on each side of my face, holding me gently.
“You know I wouldn’t believe you could do something like that.” She pushes my hair away from my face. “You are an amazing woman, Lilly, and I know you are a good person. You’re good for my son, my grandson, and my family. I hate that I have missed so much time with you and my granddaughter, but now that you’re here, I will do everything in my power to make sure you stay right where you are. You and Cash both deserve to have something good, and it’s not very often that God offers you a second chance at love. I know Cash has told you some of the stuff that went on with Jules, but I'm sure that my son has kept most of that bottled up. I doubt any of us really know everything he went through. He doesn’t like people to feel sorry for him. But as God as my witness, I hope that woman burns in hell for what she did, not only to you and Ashlyn, but for the pain that she has caused—and continues to cause—my son and grandson. I know I shouldn’t wish something like that even on my worst enemy, but she deserves it,” she says, looking over at the kids. “You both have a lot to be thankful for.”
“Thank you,” I mumble over the giant lump that has invaded my throat.
“You don’t need to thank me. That’s what family does. We may all fight and argue and get on each other’s nerves, but if one of us stumbles even slightly, there is always someone there to lend them a hand.” Her eyes search my face before turning serious. “Be strong for my boys; they need a woman who will not only show them what the power of a strong woman’s love is capable of doing for the soul, but they need a woman who will fight to keep them.”
“I love them, both,” I tell her, looking down at Jax, who is helping Ashlyn with the glue bottle. “If I could adopt Jax as my own son, I would do it in a heartbeat. He is so much like Cash that it’s scary. He has a big heart for such a little guy.”
“That’s all I need to know,” Susan says, and my eyes go back to hers, seeing tears fill them. I reach out and pull her in for hug. When we pull away, we’re both a mess with mascara running down our cheeks. The kids both look at us like we’re crazy, and then Jax makes me crack up when he tells us that his Uncle Nico said that girls are weird, and that’s why he doesn’t want one.
“Nico isn’t going to know what hit him when he finally finds his girl,” Susan says, and I agree completely.
*~*~*
“I have a question, and don’t be afraid to say no,” I say later that night when we’re in bed. “I won’t be mad; I promise,” I say, and feel my stomach roll at the thought of him not wanting us.
“What is it?”
“Um…do you, um…doyouthinkthatAshlynandIcouldmoveinwithyou?” I ask quickly, trying to get it out. I won’t be able to sleep until I know my daughter and I won’t be homeless. I love Cash, and have wanted him to ask us to move in with him for a while now, but I don’t want to pressure him about it. And Cash is Cash. I figure if he wants us here, he would find a way to make that happen. I feel his body start shaking, and I know he’s laughing. I just have no idea what could be funny about this.
“Are you laughing?”
“Baby, I have wanted you to move in since I walked you and Ashlyn to your car outside of the Jumping Bean,” he says laughing. Then his eyes search my face and grow serious. “I hated knowing I would have to wait to see you again. And it’s only gotten worse over the last few months. So yes, I want you to move in. I just didn’t want to push you too fast,” he says softly, and I can hear the vulnerability in his words.
“Do you think it’s too fast?” I ask, rubbing my face against the skin of his side.
“It’s not too fast.” He squeezes me.
“The kids?”
“Will be fine. Ashlyn loves being here. Jax loves having you both here. Don’t worry about this right now.” He pulls me so I’m almost fully on top of him. “The kids are their happiest when we are all under one roof. Right now, I want you to sleep. Tomorrow, we will sit down with the kids and talk to them and just make sure that they are good with us all moving in together, okay?” he asks quietly.
“Yeah,” I sigh, laying my head down against his chest and snuggling closer.
“I’m really sorry about all of this, Lil.” My eyes fly open, and I lift my head to look at him. His eyes are full of pain, and I know that he thinks this is all his fault, but it’s not. His ex is crazy and needs serious help.
“This isn’t your fault.”
“It is.”
“It’s not,” I say, sliding one of my legs over both of his and rolling so I’m sitting on top of him. My hands go to his chest; feeling the hardness of his muscles under my palms makes me rock against him. “This isn’t your fault,” I repeat as I rock against him again. I moan when I feel him harden beneath me. His hands slide from my thighs up my waist, under the edge of his shirt. I want to forget about today. All I want is to feel him inside me, and feel the delicious sensations I experience when he takes it over.
“What are you doing?” he asks as his hands move over my skin, leaving a path of fire in their wake.
“If you have to ask, then I’m doing it wrong,” I say, grinding down onto him. One of his hands squeezes my ass, the other goes to the back of my neck, pulling my face down to his.
“You’re doing it right,” he says as his mouth takes mine in a deep kiss, my fingers digging into his chest. I pull my mouth away from his, kissing my way down his chest to the edge of his boxers. I pull them down and lick up his length with one long stroke of my tongue. I want him in my mouth, but I really want him inside me, so I roll to my back, lift my hips off the bed and my legs into the air, pulling my panties off and tossing them away. I start to roll back when my ankles are grabbed and crossed above me, then pushed down towards my head.
“What are you doing?” I breathe as I feel his mouth suck the skin at the back of my thighs.
“If you have to ask, I’m doing it wrong,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. Then he licks me.
“Oh.” I try to move, but in this position, I’m immobile. He licks me again, and this time I can feel his tongue slide lightly over my *. Before he licks me again, I try to push up to get more contact, but he presses my legs closer to my body.
“So pink.” He blows against my wet p-ssy. I then feel one finger circling right outside my entrance. “How long do you think I can keep you on edge before you flip out?”
“Not long.” I shake my head frantically as I feel him lick me lightly again.
“Humm.” I feel the vibration against me before he licks again, this time with a little more pressure. He keeps teasing with one fingertip inside me.
“Cash,” I moan, trying to free my legs.
“No,” he growls, holding me down. Then his mouth opens over me. I feel like I'm going to come out of my skin if he doesn’t do something…more. I don’t know what comes over me, but his mouth and fingers giving me some yet not enough makes me crazy. Finally, I can’t take anymore, and somehow, I flip him over onto his back and impale myself on him.
“God,” I moan loudly, and Cash sits up, his hand coming up to cover my mouth.
“Jesus.” I can hear the strain in his voice. His hand leaves my mouth, and then his mouth is on mine, my hips rolling as I grind down hard. “F*ck, just like that, baby. F*ck me hard,” he groans against my mouth, his words making me take him harder. I’m breathing so heavily that I feel like I’m running a race. I feel warm heat begin to fill my lower belly, and then Cash’s hands are at my breasts, lifting both, his fingers pinching one nipple as he drags the other to his mouth. His teeth closing around my nipple and then adding suction makes me cry out, and my movements still as I feel my orgasm consuming me. Like a volcanic explosion, red-hot heat flows through my veins before settling and slowing to a lazy flow. I have had orgasms before, but with him, they feel like they are taking me over, so consuming that time stops. My head falls forward then his hands are on my ass, pulling me up before dropping me down his length. I can still feel myself convulsing around him as he grows even larger, and my nails dig into his shoulders.
“Lilly.” He says my name in a deep growl that I swear I can feel in my soul. His movements stop dead, his arms wrapping tightly around me. My face buries in his shoulder. Both our breathing is erratic. “Are you okay, baby?”
“Ummhum.” I breathe against his skin, my eyelids feeling heavy. He lays down with his erection still inside me, his body wrapped around me.
“Sleep,” he whispers into the top of my head. I can hear the steady beat of his heart and feel the rise and fall of his breathing, and like a lullaby, the sound and feel of it puts me to sleep.