Chapter Seventeen
Chloe
I’m not sure how long I sat there until my phone started ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket and groaned at the unknown Maryland number flashing on my screen. It looked like mom wasn’t going to leave me alone after all. I resigned myself to the fight that was sure to ensue as I answered the call.
“Hello?”
“Is this Chloe Richards?” An unfamiliar male voice spoke.
“Yes, who is this?”
“My name is Charles Rogers, I’m an officer from the Ocean City Police Department. Do you have a minute to talk?”
“Um, yeah sure.” I answered nervously. I knew this call had to have something to do with my mother. I assumed they had found her, but still I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
“Miss Richards, I don’t know how to tell you this, but your mother was killed in an accident the other night. I’m sorry that we are just now contacting you, but due to circumstances we just now found you. Is there any way you can come down to the station and talk with me?”
At that moment, the world stopped rotating. The earth stilled as I realized my mother was really and truly gone from my life and that we would never make amends.
“Sure,” I whispered, still in shock. “I’ll be there shortly.”
“I’ll see you then, and again, I’m so sorry for your loss.”
He disconnected, but I sat there with my phone still next to my ear. He had said she was in some kind of an accident, what if she was drunk and wrecked her car? Why hadn’t I tried harder to get her to go into one of the programs my aunt had suggested? I felt as if her blood was on my hands.
I rose from my chair and stumbled my way up the stairs to the guest room Jordan was staying in. I was terrified that he would turn me away, but I needed him now more than ever. I knocked softly on the door. When no answer came, I turned the knob and pushed it open. Jordan was sitting on his bed with his back to me, staring out of his window.
“Not now Chloe, leave me alone.”
“Jordan, it’s my mom. She’s dead.”
His head swiveled so fast it looked like something out of a horror movie. It would have been comical if the situation wasn’t so dire.
“What did you say?” He asked.
“The police just called me, my mom’s dead; some kind of an accident.”
I felt faint and my knees buckled from underneath of me. He was off the bed in a flash and caught me before I hit the floor.
“Chloe. Chloe! Look at me!”
I raised my eyes to meet his. His face was full of concern as he lifted me and laid me down on his bed.
“Are you ok?” He asked.
“Yeah, no. I don’t know. She was horrible, but she’s still my mom.”
My vision clouded as tears filled my eyes. He sat down next to me and pulled me into his lap. Sobs wracked my body as I let grief overtake me.
“Shhh, let it out. I’m right here.” He whispered into my ear as he held me tight.
I clung to him as my tears soaked his shirt, but he never once complained. I cried until I felt that I had nothing left inside of me. When my tears slowed, I pulled away from him and wiped my eyes.
“I’m sorry.” I hiccupped out.
“Don’t ever be sorry for crying.”
“I have to go to the police department. Can you drive me? I don’t think I can drive.”
“Of course, let me get Danny and we’ll all go.”
He left me on the bed while he walked down the hall to Danny’s room. They both appeared a couple of minutes later. Danny walked straight to me and wrapped me in a hug.
“I guess we’re both orphans now.” I whispered against his neck.
“Guess so. Come on, let’s get you down to my car.”
He held my arm as we walked to his car, helping me into the backseat before shutting the door and sliding behind the steering wheel. Jordan came out of the house a minute later and joined us. I stared out the window as he weaved through the congested tourist traffic and parked outside the police department. I brushed their hands aside when they tried to help me as I got out and walked across the lot to the double doors. I had to be strong and stand on my own two feet.
An older woman with a no-nonsense appearance sat behind a desk just inside the entrance. She glanced up at us as we entered.
“Can I help you?”
“We’re here to see Charles Rogers. My name is Chloe Richards and he’s expecting me.”
She picked up the phone and dialed a number. After a brief conversation, she hung up and pointed us to a row of chairs sitting against the far wall.
“If you’ll have a seat over there, he will be out in a moment.”
I watched from my seat as officers and other employees walked back and forth around the station. I had never been in the trouble with the law, but cops always made me uneasy. I felt like they were staring at me, telling me they knew about all the bad things I had ever done. Danny seemed at ease, but Jordan seemed as uncomfortable as I was. He continuously tapped his foot on the floor as he followed their movements with his eyes.
A young officer with coal-black hair approached us. He had a kind face, and if not for his height, I would have assumed he came from Chinese decent.
He smiled at us as he approached. “Chloe?”
I stood and shook his hand. “That’s me,” I gestured to Danny and Jordan. “This is my cousin Danny and his best friend Jordan.”
He shook hands with both of them. “Nice to meet you, I wish it was under better circumstances. If you will follow me please, there are some things we need to discuss.”
He led us down a hallway to what looked like an interrogation room. I sat down at the table in the center of the room with Jordan and Danny hovering behind me, as he sat down across from me.
“Sorry about having to use this room, I don’t have an office of my own and I thought privacy would be the best thing.”
“Not a problem.” I answered.
He cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. “I’m sure you have questions.”
“Yes, I do. First of all, what happened?” I asked, already dreading his answer.
“Her death has been ruled a suicide; she parked her car on the railroad tracks and waited. By the time the conductor saw her, it was too late.”
The train’s whistle; when my mother called me, I heard it in the background. She had spent the last moments of her life telling me how much she hated me. I stared at him as numbness spread across my body as Jordan rested his hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me.
“She killed herself?” I managed to ask.
He nodded. “I’m so sorry for your loss. I know it must be hard to wrap your mind around something like this.”
I only nodded, unable to find my voice.
“We would have contacted you sooner, but unfortunately she was driving a car that belongs to someone who is currently sitting in our county jail. We found her phone in what was left of the car. It was dead, but we managed to put the pieces together rather quickly after we had your name. She had a warrant out for her and your name was attached to it.”
“I want to see her.” I said suddenly.
“I uh, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“Why not?” I asked. “She’s my mother, I have every right.”
I needed to see her, to make sure it was her. I already knew in my heart that it was, but I wanted that last validation.
“Chloe, I have to agree with Officer Rogers. Her car was hit by a train; nothing good can come from that.” Danny said from behind me.
I winced, knowing he was right as I looked up at Officer Rogers. “Is that the reason?”
He nodded. “I’m sorry Chloe, but I really don’t think it’s wise to put you through that.”
Jordan gripped my shoulder tighter. “Just let it go Chloe, she’s put you through enough hell already, no reason to hurt yourself more.”
All I could picture was my mother’s lifeless body, mangled beyond recognition. The way she died seemed to suit her life; tragic and swift. I just wished she would have tried to turn her life around before it was too late.
“You’re right. I don’t think I could handle seeing that. Where do we need to go from here?”
“What do you mean?” Officer Rogers asked.
“I need to bury her, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” I said.
“Oh, she’s been sent to the county hospital. Just get in touch with them and the funeral home.”
“Chloe, I’ll handle everything for you so don’t stress.” Danny said from behind me.
“Thank you.”
“No thanks needed,” he glanced up at Officer Rogers, “Is there anything else we needed to go over or can I take her home?”
“We’re finished here; you’re free to go.”
I thanked him one last time, for what I’m not sure, and walked out of the room and back down the hall to the front doors. Jordan came up behind me and wrapped his arm around me as we walked to the car. After the incident earlier, I knew I should push him away, but I couldn’t. I had grown to depend on him as a permanent fixture in my life over the last few weeks and I wasn’t ready to let that go.
Danny ushered me into my room and started calling the hospital and funeral home to make arrangements for my mother as soon as we made it back to his house. We had decided on the way home that, due to the situation, cremation was the best option. The mere thought chilled me to the bone and I was glad that Danny was handling everything for me.
I picked up my phone up and dialed Drake’s number. My luck was shit of course, and it went straight to voicemail. I left a message asking him to call me. There was no way I was going to explain everything to him over a voicemail.
I tried Amber next, and she picked up on the first ring.
“Hello?” She answered cheerfully.
I froze, unsure of how to tell her what had happened.
“Chloe? Are you there?”
“Yeah,” I croaked out. I cleared my throat before continuing, “Yeah, I’m here.”
She was on high alert. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s my mom.” I choked out.
“Oh hell. What did she do now? I swear to God I’m going to punch that bitch in the face! I’m so sick of this shit!” She growled.
“You don’t have to worry about that; she’s dead.”
The words still felt wrong as they fell from my lips. I didn’t think that reality would ever set in.
“She… What?” Amber asked.
“She killed herself.”
“I… Oh God Chloe!” She cried. “Logan! Logan, get in here!”
I waited as she explained everything to him. Within seconds, he was on the line.
“Chloe? Are you ok?” He asked, his voice full of concern.
“No, not really.” I answered truthfully.
“Where are you at?”
“At my aunt’s house. Danny and Jordan are both here with me.”
“Give us a couple of hours to get packed and make the drive. What’s the address?” He asked.
I gave him the address and he promised to hurry as he hung up. I felt relieved that he and Amber were on their way; I needed all the support I could get. I hoped Drake would call me soon; I hated to pull him away from the band, but I needed him too much.
A soft knock came at my door and Danny popped his head in. “Everything has been taken care of. I scheduled for mom’s preacher to come here for a small service once everything else has been taken care of and they will contact me to collect… to collect her ashes.”
“Thank you for doing this. I don’t think I could’ve handled it all.”
“We’re family, the only family either of us has left. We need to take care of each other.”
“We really are all alone now, aren’t we?” I asked.
“Looks that way. Not that your mom was ever really there for you to begin with.”
“I know, I just wish we could’ve fixed things between us. The last thing she ever told me was how much she hated me. What am I supposed to do with that?” I asked as tears filled my eyes.
Danny frowned. “Don’t let that get to you. You’re a wonderful person Chloe, and if she was too stupid to see it then that’s her problem.”
“Thanks, Danny. I don’t know what I would do without you and Jordan. I promise I’ll come back as often as I can to visit you guys.”
“I know you will. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, anything.”
He shifted from foot to foot nervously. “Is there anything between you and Jordan?”
I raised an eyebrow, surprised at his question. “Of course not, why would you think that?”
“Just the way he acts around you, and you said Kadi had pictures of you two together. You can be honest with me, I won’t judge you. I just don’t want him to get hurt.”
“There’s nothing between us, I swear. The pictures Kadi took were innocent and she tried to twist them. Jordan is my friend and that’s all he will ever be.”
He seemed satisfied with my answer. “All right then. I’m sorry, but I had to ask.”
“I understand, he’s your best friend and you’re just watching out for him. Are you ok after everything came out about Kadi?”
His face turned hard as he answered. “I’ll be fine. You’d think after all the times she hurt me I’d know better. I guess love really does make you blind.”
“You don’t deserve what she did to you. It’s my fault that she even came here and for that I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. At least now I know what kind of person she is,” he said as he gave me a weak smile, “Why don’t you sleep for a little while, I know you’re exhausted.”
I really was tired. Drake and I hadn’t slept for more than a couple of hours the night before and I was done for, body and mind.
“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”
He closed the door behind him as we left, leaving me completely alone and shut off from everyone. My eyelids dropped and finally slid shut. My mother’s face was the last thing I saw before I slipped out of consciousness.
It was several hours later when I woke to the sound of my phone ringing. Still half asleep, I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and mumbled out a hello.
“Chloe, it’s Logan. We’re at the gate, but the guard won’t let us in.”
I groaned. “Let me talk to him.”
I waited as Logan spoke to the night guard. A minute later the phone was passed to him. “Miss Richards?”
“Yes, Logan and Amber are my friends. Can you let them through please?”
“Certainly, sorry to bother you.”
I ended the call and stood, stretching my arms above my head. My body was stiff from the fight with Kadi earlier, and a bit back a moan from the pain the movement caused me. I hadn’t bothered to shower or change my clothes before I went to sleep and I felt grungy as I left my room and walked down the hallway to the stairs.
Logan and Amber were getting out of her car as I stepped outside. They both looked up at the sound and Logan ran toward me as soon as he saw me. He wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me close.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner,” he whispered, his lips brushing my ear.
“It’s all right. Jordan and Danny have been taking care of me.” I said as I hugged him back tightly.
Amber walked over to us and joined in on our hug. It felt great to have both of my best friends with me, and I realized just how much I had missed them over the summer. Amber and Logan had long ago become permanent fixtures in my life, and I felt at home with both of them holding me.
Logan pulled away first. “What happened?”
I felt awkward explaining my mother’s death in the driveway. “Why don’t we get your stuff carried inside and then I can explain.”
He kissed my forehead and turned away. “Sure, but it might be a while. Amber packs like she’s never going home.”
Amber snickered as she released me. “Of course I do when I know you’ll be around to carry it for me.”
He scowled as he pulled two bags from the car. “Gee, thanks.”
Amber and I walked to the car and each grabbed a couple of bags. The first one I grabbed was fairly light, but the second one nearly pulled me down.
“Jesus, this thing weighs a ton!” I groaned as I started hobbling toward the house.
Logan held the door open for me as I passed by. “That would be Amber’s. The other one is mine.”
“Of course it is,” I huffed as I set both bags down.”
Danny and Jordan appeared from the living room and took in the bags at my feet and Amber and Logan standing next to me.
“I take it we have guests?” Danny asked.
“Um, yeah. These are my best friends, Amber and Logan. Sorry I didn’t tell you they were coming.”
“Not a problem, while you’re staying here, this house is yours too.”
I smiled as I turned to Logan and Amber. “Guys, this is my cousin Danny and his friend Jordan.”
Amber smiled sweetly while Logan shook both of their hands. He seemed to be studying them.
“Nice to meet you,” Jordan mumbled before looking at me, “You should have let me know they were coming. I could have let them in so that you could get some sleep.”
“I’m fine. I really needed to see both of them.”
He stayed silent as Danny crossed the room and grabbed a few of their bags. “Let’s get you guys rooms,” he glanced between Amber and Logan, “Do you each need a room or one together.”
Amber started blushing furiously as Logan laughed. “Nah, she steals the covers.”
She punched him in the arm. “Shut up! We’re just friends, nothing more.”
Danny laughed at her embarrassment. “All right then, follow me.”
Logan and Jordan split the remaining bags between the two of them and carried them up the stairs with Amber and I following closely behind. Danny stopped at the room directly across from mine and opened the door. “This one is free, as is the one beside it. Make yourselves at home.”
They deposited Amber’s bags inside and Logan carried his to the other room. I walked into Amber’s room and sat on the bed as she started unpacking.
“Are you ok?” She asked as she hung some of her clothes in the closet.
“Not really, but I will be. I think I’m in shock right now more than anything. It just doesn’t seem real.”
She gave me a sympathetic look. “Understandable. I mean, she was horrible, but she’s still your mom.”
“You want to know what the last thing she said to me was? What a horrible person I am.”
She walked over to me and through her arms around me. “Oh Chloe, you know that’s not true.”
“Yeah, but it’s what she thought of me. She called me and told me that the same night that she died.”
“I feel bad speaking badly about the dead, but your mom was a crazy bitch. She tried her hardest to break you, and she didn’t stop until she took her final breath. But you won Chloe, in the end you won. You have an amazing boyfriend, friends, and family who love you more than anything and that’s something she never had.”
Speaking of my loving boyfriend, I still hadn’t heard from him. Amber released me and I pulled my phone out to check for any missed calls. There were none and I frowned. It wasn’t like Drake to ignore me for hours, even when he had a show.
“Nothing I just said should make you frown,” Amber complained.
“No, it’s not that. I tried calling Drake earlier and he never called me back. It’s not like him.”
“He doesn’t know yet?”
“No, that’s why I was trying to call him. He still thinks I’m leaving tomorrow to meet up with him. I hope he’s ok.”
“I’m sure he’s fine. He probably just turned his phone off or something.”
I frowned; Drake never turned his phone off, except for during shows and he always checked it afterward. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. I just really need him right now and he’s nowhere to be found.”
“I hope you’re not talking about me; I’m right here.”
I jumped at the sound of Logan’s voice. He gave me a small smile as he entered the room and sat down next to us on the bed.
“No, she can’t reach Drake and she’s worried.” Amber said.
“Oh.” Logan said as he looked away.
I let the subject of Drake drop; it was obvious that talking about him made Logan uncomfortable. We sat in silence for a few seconds until Amber spoke up.
“So, do you want to tell us what happened?” She asked.
“She killed herself.”
Amber’s mouth dropped open and Logan’s eyes widened.
“I… oh wow. I don’t know what to say.” Amber squeaked out.
Logan wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. He squeezed my ribs, trying to comfort me, and I winced at the pain.
His brow furrowed as he noticed my discomfort. “What’s wrong?”
It dawned on me that I hadn’t told them anything that had happened this summer; my aunt’s deception, my mother’s attack on me, Kadi’s manipulation, my fight with her, the tension between Drake and Jordan, nothing.
I sighed as I ran my hand through my disheveled hair, unsure of where to even start.
“I haven’t told you two anything that’s happened this summer.”
Amber crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. “Why do I think that I’m going to be really mad at you when you do?”
“You will be.”
I started at the beginning, telling them everything. Amber’s face grew tight as I spoke and Logan’s hold on me became stiff. He loosened it slightly when I got to the part about my cracked ribs. Neither of them spoke as I spilled everything, but I knew they were angry; mainly at me for keeping things from them.
Amber was glaring by the time I finished. “Why didn’t you call us?” She yelled.
I stared at the floor in front of me. “I didn’t want to bother you guys. It’s my life and I need to deal with it on my own. Besides, I had Jordan and Danny around to help.”
“Danny and Jordan are not your best friends!”
I backtracked, wanting to avoid Amber’s rage. “I know that, but you were hours away. I figured it would be easier for you if you didn’t know what was happening. I was thinking of you guys.”
“That’s bullshit Chloe! You always do this to us; you keep us in the dark until the last possible minute! And it always turns out so well when you do that, might I add!”
Her gaze was on Logan as she spoke and I felt my face warm. How could she bring that up with everything else I had going on?
“That’s not fair Amber! I know what I did to Logan was wrong, and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life!” I shouted, my temper taking over.
“Am I interrupting?” Jordan asked from the door.
I looked up to see him watching me closely. “You all right Chloe Bear?”
I nodded. “Fine, we were just having a discussion about my poor decisions in life.”
Jordan grinned as he entered the room and sat down in the chair by the desk. “I’d love to hear this.”
Logan cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“Why not?” Amber growled, “Let someone else see how f*cking stubborn Chloe is.”
“Drop it Amber, it’s between Chloe and me. No one else.” He emphasized the last part and her eyes narrowed at him.
“We’re all three best friends so that makes me a part of it,” she turned to Jordan, “Chloe here cheated on Logan with Drake. She kept everything to herself, just like she always does, and Logan paid the price.”
Jordan’s eyes searched mine, looking for confirmation. “Is that true?”
I cringed at the judgment in his stare as I answered. “Yes, I f*cked everything up.”
He frowned as he looked at Logan. “Drake has a way of really screwing things up, doesn’t he?”
“Enough!” I shouted before Logan could respond, “You two can form an ‘I hate Drake’ club later. I have too much shit to deal with right now!”
I threw Logan’s arm off of me and stormed out the door. I had no idea where I was going; I just knew I had to get away. I ran down the stairs and out the front door. I continued running until I had reached the edge of the property behind the house. My body screamed at me as I finally stopped running; clutching my sides and gasping for breath. I really needed to get in shape; this was pitiful.
I stood there for a minute, trying to let my eyes adjust to the darkness as I caught my breath. My breathing slowly quieted down and the silence of the night engulfed me. It reminded me of the serenity of the spot by the Cheat Lake that I shared with Drake. It felt right; and I let the atmosphere flow into my body. It soothed me, and I felt my body start to relax.
I sat down in the grass and leaned back against a small tree. There were several clouds in the sky tonight, blocking the moon and most of the stars, and I stared up at them until my eyes began to feel heavy. If only Drake were here, then everything would be perfect in my little world.