Chapter Fourteen
Friday evening
I’ve been here before, thought Dan. It’s like déjà vu all over again.
Friday night, 8pm, and pissed again. Same time, same people, same state. For God’s sake they were even sat in the same place in the same pub and he STILL didn’t know its name.
No, there was one difference. Ian was here, making good on his promise to buy the drinks st Dan’s leaving do. He had, in fact, done that several times already, Ian being another victim of Boris’s pace making.
Would tonight end in the same way as well? No, Dan decided, it couldn’t. Last week was unique, it had to be. It was a week since he had acquired his flatmate, much less since he had actually found that he had.
Dan wondered what she was doing right now. Corrie? Maybe. He imagined her curled up on the settee.
You boring git, he thought. You’d prefer to be with her than here wouldn’t you? Stop dreaming, Dan. Stop dreaming and get a life. Get someone you can physically hold, kiss, love…well maybe that too, ideally that too but certainly the first two, and, as the song goes, two out of three aint bad. Someone to share intimacy, closeness with…oh hell Dan, there you go again! Stop being all soppy, why not try being a straight-up, red blooded male and just get into a relationship for just the one thing. Just be honest; like most males you just want sex.
After that thought he couldn’t help looking at Jenny, sitting just on the other side of the table, chatting to Hannah. Hell she did look good, curvy, relaxed, a bit calmer than last week – that was another difference then, he hadn’t spotted that one – but still bubbly, fun and – alive. Alive, yes. Oh definitely that. His eyes were drawn to her, legs, shapely, curving away under her deliciously short skirt. Those thighs were quite flawless, and he thought, so inviting. He so wanted to run his hands up them…oh hell, he had better stop imagining or he might get himself arrested.
His eyes ran back up her body to her face. She was looking straight at him.
He felt himself blush as she raised an amused, questioning eyebrow. He decided his time to try a winning smile.
‘Dan, C’mon on mate, what do you think?’ Boris cane to his rescue.
‘What mate? Sorry I was miles away.’
‘It’s OK, I saw where you were,’ he grinned, ‘or rather where you wanted to be! Anyway, come and talk about something much more important.’
‘What?’
‘Cars of course! Caterham Seven or Elise?’
‘Oh that’s an easy one, no contest. The Elise is great but the Seven is the beast. Its pure, no compromises. It has to be the Seven.’
‘See! Told you!’ Boris said triumphantly to Ian, ‘And Danny knows his cars.’
‘OK, OK. So would you swap your company car for one?’ asked Ian.
‘Oh God no, absolutely not, no way!’ said Boris.
‘That’s why when even petrol heads make it they buy 911’s and M3’s rather than hardcore things like a Seven,’ said Ian.
‘Yeah but a lot of dickheads buy 911’s too’ said Greg.
The conversation at the table died instantly. Greg looked anxiously from face to face finally settling on Ian’s. ‘You’ve got a 911 haven’t you?’ he said slowly.
Ian nodded.
Hannah leant over and thumped Greg hard. ‘Thanks! There goes any chance of promotion!’
Whilst the table dissolved in laughter, Dan felt a light breath on his ear.
‘You going to talk about cars all night or do you want to find out whether what you were thinking about is as good as you thought?’ whispered Jen. She then pushed her way through the crowd on the way to the ladies, leaving Dan with a smile on his face and the lingering aroma of Jenny’s perfume on his cheek.
All his good intentions were going out of the window. He had resolved to play things cool for a while with Jenny – things were rather complicated after all, he needed to wait until his life had settled down a bit. Ok, he had really enjoyed lunch with her, it seemed with getting her issues out into the open the barriers were down and she was more natural and less hyper. She had been genuinely good company.
And earlier, before Boris’s drinking pace had really got to them, she had joined in a really lively discussion with a solicitor they had met in Bar 37 about the relative merits of Dubai and Abu Dhabi, places the man had been to several times with his work. Although he seemed to know what he was talking about Dan didn’t like him much; he was quite arrogant, not wanting to listen to anyone else’s view. And, truth be told, Dan didn’t like the way that the solicitor showed a clear interest in Jen, his eyes running constantly all over her. To his surprise Dan felt a pang of jealously but this was eased by the way Jenny started to behave; she made a show of linking her arm through Dan’s and getting as close as possible to him, the body language quite clearly saying; “couple”. Dan played along with her, guessing that this was defensive move.
As they were leaving she whispered; ‘Thanks. Bit of a creep, isn’t he?’
‘Yeah, a bit,’ said Dan, ‘Mind you, he’s got some great contacts.’ He had the solicitor’s card safely in his wallet. He noticed that he had given one to Jenny too.
That was several hours ago now and his resolution to play things cool had left with his sobriety.
He got up to go to the gents, reckoning that he could get in and out quicker than Jen would from the ladies.
He was right.
‘Well hello Mr Jackson, fancy meeting you here.’
‘It’s an amazing coincidence, Ms Jones.’
He put his arm around her waist, Jenny draped hers around his neck and pulled his head down towards her lips.
OK, he thought as their lips met, as bad ideas went this one was bloody pleasanter than most.
They came up for air, Dan noting that Jen was flushed and had a huge smile on her face.
He couldn’t resist it: ‘Is this the point where you slide to the floor?’ he said.
‘Oy you!’ she said, pouting, ‘I can change my mind you know!’
‘Are you going to?’
‘Not a chance!’ she said, kissing him again, ‘Hell, you are lovely,’ she added, snuggling against him.
Dan felt the first stab of guilt. Surely he shouldn’t be doing this?
‘Can we be alone now?’ she whispered, ‘Is that Ok? I know it’s your leaving do but do you mind?’
‘Not a bit. I’ve more than shown my face, I doubt they’ll miss us that much now.’
‘Come on then, let’s just do it now,’ she said, guiding him towards the door. It had been a fine, warm spring day and neither of them had coats to collect. Outside it was cool but also pleasantly quiet after the din of the bar.
‘Phew, that’s better,’ she said, ‘I think I like this bit of going out best.’ She looked at Dan uncertainly, ‘Does that make any sense?’
‘Yes. Total sense.’
She snuggled in closer to him as they walked along.
‘Where shall we go, yours or mine?’ she asked.
The guilt hit him again. He hadn’t thought of that. He definitely couldn’t go to his, could he?
‘Yours,’ he said firmly, ‘it’s closer.’
‘Sure,’ she said as they got into the rhythm of walking together, ‘it’s still a bit of a trek though.’
‘That’s OK, it’s a nice night and the company’s good.’
She smiled.
‘What are you going to do?’ she asked after a few minutes.
‘Oh, I have a few ideas,’ he said, giving her a little squeeze.
She giggled, ‘Not now! Men! I ask you! Mind you, I like the way your mind is working! I meant from now on, now you'll not be working for a while.’
‘I thought I might go away somewhere. I need to recharge the batteries. Not long, just a week or so.’
‘Ooh sounds nice. Somewhere warm and sunny? A five star hotel?’
‘Not quite. Somewhere cold, wet and windy in a tent more like. I thought I might head up to Scotland.’
Dan thought that Jenny would react differently to the way she did. She said; ‘Oh wow, that sounds lovely. I’d so love to do that.’
Dan checked her face for signs of sarcasm but could find none.
‘Really?’
‘Don’t sound so surprised!’ she said, ‘I’ll have you know I was a venture scout, did my Duke of Edinburgh and everything. I love the outdoors and miss camping. I haven’t been for years so, yes, I’d love to go.’
This girl really is full of surprises, thought Dan.
After 15 minutes of small talk and tales of camping adventures past, she said; ‘Here we are, home-sweet-home.’
Jenny’s flat was in darkness. She unlocked the door and ushered them inside.
‘Fi’s away this weekend,’ Jenny said in reply to his unasked question, ‘it’s just us.’
She shut the front door and walked into his arms, resting her head on his chest again. He kissed the top of her head, trying to ignore the feeling of unease building in his mind. Jenny helped to distract him by rubbing her body against him, then languorously raising her head, her lips seeking out his again. Dan ran his fingers down her spine; she trembled at his touch.
‘Come on,’ she said huskily, ‘bed!’
She led him gently but firmly by the tie into her room, falling backwards onto the bed dragging Dan with her.
They both kicked off their shoes as their tongues sought each other out. He wanted her, he wanted her urgently now and she seemed to be the same. He fumbled with the buttons of her blouse, irritated but pleased in a way that his hands were shaking so much; Jenny undid his tie and tried to pull his jacket off. She giggled as she momentarily had him in a straightjacket of his own clothes, unable to free his arms she took advantage by plastering his neck and the top of his chest with kisses until he struggled free and took his own shirt off. Jenny unfastened her skirt and let it fall to the floor then wriggled out of her tights.
Now when he drew her to him he had the intoxicating feel of her skin against his; the softness, its scent, its coolness against his. All other thoughts had gone now, there was just Jenny, beautiful, sexy, responsive to him as he was to her.
He kissed her neck and nibbled her ear as he unfastened her bra. He was in control now, Jenny more passive, letting him do as he liked. He pulled the cup off her breasts, the tip of his tongue tracing its way to her already swollen nipple. He teased it more, running his tongue around and around it before sucking it into his mouth. Jenny gasped as he slipped his hand down the front of her knickers, whispering, ‘Dan, oh Dan, yes,’ as his hand first enveloped her sex in its entirety before tenderly and gently running his middle finger up and down her lips, teasing them open, feeling her heat and wetness.
Jenny arched her back as he moved his fingers up and down, opening her further before brushing his fingertips lightly over her *oris. To his surprise, she immediately jerked and bucked and she held him tight as she shuddered and moaned as her orgasm swept over her.
At last her grip subsided and she relaxed back onto the bed, breathing heavily. She was flushed and smiling. ‘Ooh,’ she panted, ‘Gosh, oh wow, that was good. Sorry, it’s been a while.’
She leant forward and kissed him very tenderly, then pulled away again and slipped under the duvet and, after some wriggling, her hand reappeared with her knickers which she dropped on the floor. She then lay back, pulling the duvet up to her neck.
‘You’re surprised aren’t you?’ she said, ‘about what I just said?’
‘Er...well…’ he began.
‘Don’t worry, it’s OK,’ she smiled and shrugged, ‘I guessed what type of girl you think I am.’
‘Jen, honestly I don’t. I …’
‘Shh…forget it. It doesn’t matter,’ she smiled softly and flipped half the duvet over, keeping herself covered, ‘Come on gorgeous, I want to hold you. Get undressed and get in.’
He took off his trousers and briefs and got in beside her. She was already much warmer than him and she shivered slightly as their bodies pressed together.
And that was the thought that took him back to Tess. He couldn’t help but think about the shivers he had felt when they had kissed. Once she was there she would not go out of his head.
Jenny had her head on his shoulder and was drawing circles with her fingers on his chest.
‘I’m very careful who I sleep with,’ she whispered, ‘it has to be someone really special, someone I really care for. It was a promise I made to myself years ago and I’ve kept to it ever since.’
Her hand moved down under the duvet. Her fingers brushed his erection, making him gasp.
‘I have to have feelings for him to be that close, that intimate, to let my barriers down,’ she murmured, her fingers enveloping him, moving up and down the shaft.
‘I love you, Dan,’ she breathed in his ear.
That did it.
‘Jen,’ he said, placing his hand on hers, ‘stop…please, stop.’
She leant up, looking confused.
‘What is it? Am I hurting you? Am I doing something wrong?’
He rolled away, not wanting to touch or look at her.
‘No Jen, you’re not.. It’s me…I am.’
‘He pulled her arm away from him and rolled out of bed onto his feet.
‘Look I’m sorry but I just can’t do this.’
He hunted around for his clothes, gathered then up and started to put them on.
‘But why? What have I done?’ Jenny shook her head, ‘No, please, come back to bed Danny. We can work this out.’
‘We can’t Jenny. I can’t.’
‘Don’t you like me?’ Tears were flowing down her cheeks now.
By now Dan had his trousers on and was buttoning his shirt. He looked at her for a second then came and sat on the bed.
‘I do like you, I like you a hell of a lot. That’s the problem.’
‘I don’t understand, why then? What have I done?’
‘You’ve done nothing,’ he said putting his arm around her. He could feel her tears soaking his shirt. ‘I wish I could explain this properly to you but I can’t because, for one thing I don’t understand it myself and for another you’d think I was crazy. I just know I can’t do this.’
Suddenly she pushed him roughly away.
‘There’s someone else isn’t there?’ she said angrily.
Dan took a deep breath, ‘Yes. Sort of.’
‘Sort of? Sort of! There’s some other girl you’re playing with?’ She was shouting now.
‘It’s not like that…’
‘So what is it like, Dan? What is it like?’ she snapped, ‘Oh just f*ck off,’ she screamed as he reached for her, ‘Just f*ck off and leave me alone.’
‘Jen!’
‘Just go!’ she said, her eyes bitter, ‘and don’t you dare ever even f*cking call me again, not ever!’
She rolled away, pulling her duvet over her head.
He sat there for a few moments, watching her. He then stood and quietly finished dressing. When he was done he plodded to the bedroom door where he stopped and turned.
‘Jen,’ he said.
There was no response.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, and left.
*
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Friday Night
Tess was watching TV when he got in. She looked up in surprise.
‘You’re early,’ she said, ‘I didn’t expect you back for ages.’
‘Neither did I,’ Dan said, his voice flat. He took his jacket off and flung it in the general direction of the sofa. ‘Want a drink?’
‘Er, no, I need to work on the whole wine thing.’
Dan had found a pool of drying red wine on the worktop that morning.
‘Ok,’ he said, pouring himself a large whisky and topping it up with water before going to sit down.
‘You alright?’ asked Tess.
‘Fine.’
‘Fine. Oh Ok’
She kept glancing at him whilst pretending to watch the TV. In the end Dan found it irritating.
‘What?’ he said.
‘Nothing,’ she said, then, when she saw that he wasn’t going to accept just this added, ‘You’ve got some lipstick on your cheek.’
Angrily he wiped it off.
‘Is that why you’re in a bad mood?’
‘What?’
‘Some girl turn you down?’ Her tone was light, jokey even.
‘No,’ said Dan, taking a big swig of his drink, ‘the reverse actually.’
Tess starred at him, then her mouth opened in shock. ‘Oh no,’ she said, ‘You didn’t? Tell me that you didn’t?’
‘Tell you that I didn’t do what?’
‘Jenny. You turned her down didn’t you?’
‘What if I did?’
‘Because…' Dan saw Tess pause as if she was considering something. 'Dan?' she said haltingly, 'You didn't....hurt her did you?'
'Well, I'm not going to be on her Christmas card list, let's put it like that.'
'I didn't mean that....I..er'
Dan frowned. 'What did you...?' Then realisation hit him. 'What? Hit her you mean? Be violent? What do you think I am?'
'I...don't know,' she frowned. 'Look Dan, last night, I saw stuff on your computer, the things that you had been searching about. Murders, assaults. I just...well...'
Dan's mouth dropped open.
'You think it was me? Me that attacked you. That I'm into that sort of stuff?'
'No, I didn't think that, well not really.'
'Not really? Oh thanks.'
'Oh Dan, you've said yourself that you've been worried about yourself at times...'
'I know but that? Do you honestly think that I'm capable of that? Do you think it was me who attacked you?'
Tess met Dan's gaze steadily. In spite of his anger he saw her looking carefully at his eyes and guessed what she was doing. He was pleased to see he sigh with relief.
'I'm sorry,' she said. 'It could never have been you. I do know what you're like inside.'
'It's OK,' he said. 'I've wondered myself actually...well, you know, about my mind. But no, I know I could never do that, even unconsciously. And about the pages...'
'You don't need to explain,' said Tess.
'Yes I do. I was looking to see if there were any clues about what happened to you, like you asked me to.'
'Oh,' she said. 'Sorry. Did you...'
'No. Not really. There are rumours – twitter rumours really and you know how reliable they can be – that there is someone out there, in this City who says he is killing because he wants to, because he has the right to, who boasts about him. I was trying to find him. I couldn't though.'
'Oh right. Sorry.'
'That's OK.'
'But Jenny...'
'What about her.' Dan felt his anger rising again.
'Well I hope you were nice about how you turned her down.’
Dan’s silence was eloquent.
Tess jumped to her feet and threw her hands in air in exasperation, ‘Dan! You bloody idiot! What did you do that for?’
‘Don’t you bloody start,’ he muttered, ‘don’t you bloody start on that, I’ve had enough tonight.’ He took another drink, ‘This is your fault anyway.’
‘Mine? Mine? How is this my fault?’ she said, palms outstretched.
‘Because I…Because I lo –‘
‘No!’ she shouted, ‘Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare say that. That’s it, I’m going. Take me back to my flat.’
Dan just sat, staring into space, quite deliberately ignoring her.
‘Now!’ she yelled.
‘No,’ he said quietly.
‘No?’ She looked surprised.
‘You heard me,’ he stood, drained his glass and threw it into the kitchen where it shattered against the units. ‘I’m pissed now anyway, can’t drive but I wouldn’t do it anyway. I’m sick of being pushed around, pushed into doing things I’ve not wanted to do. Well this is it, no more.’
He headed for the door.
‘Tomorrow I’m going up to Scotland camping. You’ll have the place to yourself for a week. I’m going to bed now. Goodnight.’
He slammed the door behind him, leaving Tess standing in the lounge open-mouthed.
*
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