Fur Reals?
November, 2001
It’s beginning to look like things in Chrissy-land are getting back to normal (which, by the way probably isn’t saying much because that’s only half of what’s normal in Normal-land).
It’s been almost two months since I ran out of that coffee shop and away from Kurt, and the guilt or fear or whatever it was that I had about him finding out about my engagement has since subsided. In fact, the longer I’ve been able to sit and think about it, how dare he try to make-up for the past like that…and in a coffee shop! I loved Kurt more than anything in my life, for most of my life, but not anymore. And if my new marriage stands a chance in hell, I better start acting like that. And I have. I never bring the subject of Kurt up around my friends and whenever they do, I leave the room. So far, Craig seems to be the only one who’s noticed my valiant effort, and he even complimented me on it at the last get together with the gang. He continues to support my relationship with Leo, and I’ve actually decided that he’ll be the first gang member I’ll tell of my engagement…when it’s the right time. Baby steps…
My friendships with Courtney and Nicole are completely back to normal now that we all agree that Leo will never be a gang member and I now know the full reason why they met Kayla. If I hadn’t had a full blown Chrissy meltdown at the cemetery that day and driven off so quickly, they would’ve been able to tell me that Kurt brought her, un-announced, to a barbeque at Courtney’s house. They hated every second of her and told Kurt to keep her infantile sorority-ass as far away from them as possible. (Their husbands, however, totally enjoyed her and her boobs.) I have no doubt that my best friends will jump up and down and clap at the news of my engagement…when they hear of it. Baby steps…
My special time with Kendall has come to mean so much more to me than I ever thought possible. Since I’ve started picking her up three days a week, she’s adopted so many of my characteristics and Craig has even forgiven me for most of them! Shoes are her number one favorite accessory, she never leaves home without her Mac lip gloss and pathetically, “HELLS NO” has escaped from her mouth on a few occasions. The staff at The Happy Hearts daycare center greets me by first name and sends me invitations to all of her special events and you can bet I’m at each and every one. I’m even mistaken as her mother by new staff and when it happens, Kendall and I just look at each other and giggle. Even though I hide it from Kendall, being called her mother is like a straight shot to my heart. But, for some reason she really enjoys it, so I follow her lead every time and laugh away. Kendall misses “Weo” and the snipe hunting marathons they used to get into, and she’s at the top of the list of people who will be overjoyed to know that he’s soon to become my husband…when the news hits the stands. Baby steps…
And speaking of my future husband…his dot is becoming less grey now as talk of the wedding has commenced. As we were wrapping up our phone conversation tonight with twenty-six “I love you’s” and forty-seven “No, you hang-up firsts,” Leo blurted out with, “Oh, wait…I almost forgot! Tell me some place you’ve never been before.”
“Why?”
“Just tell me.”
I’ve traveled to so many places with Kurt and with my old job, it takes me a few minutes to hone in on an answer. Before I’m about to say, Russia, Leo interjects with, “Make it somewhere tropical.”
Looking down at the plastic water bottle I’m drinking out of, I think, hmmmm, that looks like a nice place.
“Fiji.”
“That’s crazy because that’s exactly what I was gonna suggest!”
“For what?”
“The place we get married. Just you and me…”
“…All alone on a beach. Oh, Leo, it sounds perfect. ”
And it does. No wedding dress, no wedding cake, no gift registry, and no thank you cards. But, mostly…no guests and no laughing at me for the second walk around the block. Oh, c’mon, you know you place bets on every second marriage you’re invited to! You know you scoff at the big whoop-di-doo the second chance bride makes of her big second wedding day! You know you kick your date under the pew as the second chance bride takes that second walk down the aisle in her big fat white second chance dress. You say exactly what I’d say, “Honey, you shoulda got married on some remote beach like all of the other self-respecting second chance brides!” Which, is where I’ll be thanks to my overly private fiancé who hates large crowds and chaos.
I hang up the phone with Leo happier than I’ve been in a very long time. After taking a long energized sip of my wine, I reach for the remote. But, the second I click on the TV, I click it off, fearing I’ll catch some of the 9/11 footage that continues to run twenty-four-seven. Wanting to hang onto my happiness for as long as I can, I reach for a piece of paper and get to work.
1) Marry Leo on the beach in Fiji.
2) Find our dream house together.
3) Have a baby.
4) Get a dog.
Yes…things in Chrissy-land are totally back to normal.