The Resurrection of Aubrey Mill

Junior Year


Chapter Twenty-Six

Session 32:
(Four Months ago, the first week of classes)
Palmer: Uh, hello. It’s been a while. Please come in.
Me: (Sits on couch) Yeah.
Palmer: (Takes seat in front of me) Well, I’m very surprised by your appearance, to say the least. The last time I saw you, you looked…different.
Me: (Pushes the blanket to the edge of the couch) Yeah.
Palmer: (Narrows eyes) Do you have a problem with the blanket?
Me: Oddly enough I do. It used to be comforting to me, now I just want to burn it.
Palmer: (Raises eyebrows) Hmmm. Well, how is Kaeleb?
Me: Haven’t seen him.
Palmer: Why is that?
Me: (Inhales deeply) It’s for the best.
Palmer: (Nods) I see. And Linda?
Me: She’s dying.
Palmer: (Nods again) Yes, I’m aware. How is she?
Me: As well as can be expected, I guess.
Palmer: (Exhales) And Quinn?
Me: She’s gone. Surely you know about her suicide attempt.
Palmer: I do. Just wondering how she’s doing.
Me: Well, I have no answers for you there.
Palmer: Okay. (Shifts in seat) Want to tell my why you’ve gone back to using Raven as your identity?
Me: (Scoffs) Well, isn’t it obvious Doc? I mean, Linda’s dying. Quinn almost died. Aubrey had to be buried. End of story.
Palmer: (Nods) Do you think she will ever be brought back to life?
Me: Nope. Never.
Session 34:
(Approximately two months ago)
Palmer: You need to discuss everything that happened last year at some point. It’s unhealthy to keep it all inside.
Me: (Laughs) My health is the least of my concerns.
Palmer: (Narrows eyes) Well, you’re not giving me anything to go on here. I’m not sure why you insist on visiting. It’s obvious you seek no help from me.
Me: True. I’m not sure either. I’ll just be going.
Palmer: (Exhales as he rises) Well, I’m here if you need me. Like I told you, my door is always open. When and if you decide you want to discuss the true nature of your problems, instead of providing me with evasive answers to my questions, I can help you get through this particularly difficult point in your life. But you have to want to be helped. I can’t force that desire upon you.
Me: Yeah. (Turns and leaves)
Session 35:
(One day ago, the day before Winter Break)
Palmer: (Eyes wide) You’re back.
Me: I’m back.
Palmer: (Takes seat) I’m happy to see you. How are classes?
Me: Fine. Not much to do other than study. And drink. (Laughs)
Palmer: (Leans forward) Are you drunk now?
Me: Why yes. Yes, I am.
Palmer: How did you get here? Surely you didn’t drive.
Me: (Shakes head) Took a campus shuttle bus. Wouldn’t want to unnecessarily endanger people’s lives. Give me some credit.
Palmer: (Clenches jaw and reclines) Why exactly are you here then? After a full two months?
Me: (Laughs again) Because I finally figured it out, Doc. Why I insist on coming back here.
Palmer: Why is that?
Me: Well, you see, it’s twofold actually. The first reason is that I’m pissed.
Palmer: (Nods) That’s to be expected. What exactly are you pissed about?
Me: (Narrows eyes) I’m pissed at you actually.
Palmer: Why is that?
Me: Because you gave me hope. You made me believe that I could be something that I’m not. That I could be happy. That I could have things that I was never meant to have.
Palmer: Such as.
Me: Love.
Palmer: (Leans forward again) Why do you feel that you can never experience love?
Me: (Shrugs shoulders) Because death annihilates love. I am death. I’m not meant to love. It’s a proven fact, Doc.
Palmer: I see. And your second reason for coming here?
Me: Confirmation.
Palmer: What do you need to confirm?
Me: (Sighs and rises to leave) That no one can help me now. Not even you.