His hands slid down the sleeves of her shirtwaist and gently he guided her into his arms, pressing her against his chest. A low sigh escaped Alex’s lips and sudden tears sparkled on her lashes. It felt so good—so wonderfully good!—to feel his strong body pressed to hers, to feel his arms holding her. Winding her arms around his neck, she closed her eyes. To be embraced, safe in a man’s arms when she had never expected it to happen again, this would be enough.
Time sheltered their embrace, enfolding them within a summer-scented capsule that felt endless and theirs alone. The fragrance of grass and sunlight and nearby water sweetened each breath. Theirs was the music of birds and the lazy buzz of insects and the beating of two hearts. Yes, she thought, she didn’t need more. This would be enough.
Raising his hands, John tenderly framed her face, his fingertips as light on her skin as the caress of a breeze. He gazed at her, and no words had ever been as eloquent as the message she read in his eyes. He loved her. This splendid wonderful man loved her.
Leaning forward, he touched his mouth lightly to hers, enough to taste her without startling her. Alex’s breast rose, and her heartbeat quickened. A sound that was almost a sob, almost a gasp, sighed past her lips, and she leaned into him, supporting her body against his chest. He loved her. Helplessly, she parted her lips and her head fell back.
This time his kiss was full and provocative, summoning sensations she had believed, had hoped, were submerged too deeply to be awakened. But his fingers on her face, his mouth, his lips, stirred slumbering emotions and coaxed them to life. His hands moved to cup her head, to spread across her spine, and he crushed her against him as their kisses deepened.
Only when the pounding hooves of the remuda penetrated their absorption in each other did they ease apart and stare at each other.
“My God,” Alex whispered, lifting trembling fingers to her lips.
Payton had never kissed her as John just had. No man had kissed her like that. His kisses had blended tenderness and passion, emotion and desire.
“Well gol-dang,” Grady shouted as the remuda trotted past the wagon. “Ain’t you two got nothing better to do than sit and admire the scenery?” He scowled at Alex’s bright cheeks. “You got some hungry punchers coming along not far behind me.”
She peeked at John’s grin and laughed. “Almost caught.” Reaching for her crutch, she poked at the grass to scare away snakes, then hurried to her chores with a smile on her lips.
The day was glorious. The hot sun felt wonderful on her face, and she hardly noticed the ubiquitous mosquitoes that plagued her whenever she was in camp. All she could think about was John’s lips on hers, the solid heat and power of his body. And what she had read in his eyes.
In retrospect, it was inevitable that her happiness could not last. The instant she looked down at her worktable and saw her wedding ring, reality and guilt brought her crashing to earth.
Because of how he had died, she would always be Payton Mills’s wife.
Until death do us part did not apply to a wife who had caused her husband’s death. She was tied to Payton forever, bound more tightly by guilt than they had been bound in life.
The gold band on her finger caught the sunlight and flashed accusation at her.
Swaying, she gripped the worktable. When the dizziness passed, she lifted her head and cast a frantic glance around the noon camp, looking for John. She had to tell him that he must leave. The temptation was too great. Being near him was too heavy a punishment to bear.
But she didn’t see him. For the last ten days, he had mysteriously vanished during the noon meal, off doing something he clearly did not want her to know about. Frustrated, she struck the worktable with her fist. Already she felt a wave of weakness submerging her resolve.
When Freddy came past the worktable and held out her plate, she paused and peered at Alex’s face. “Are you all right?”
“It’s John,” she said, staring down at a skillet of biscuits. The urge to tell someone, to say the words aloud overwhelmed her. “Oh, Freddy, I love him.”
Freddy’s eyebrows shot up, and she smiled broadly. “That’s wonderful!”
“It’s the worst thing that could have happened to me!” Taking up her crutch, she gripped the handle and stumbled toward the creek to be alone with her conscience.
“Im worried about Alex and Les,” Freddy commented, carrying her plate of beans away from the noon fire. Beans and bacon were a staple of cattle drives, but she had reached a point where she would have been happy never to see another bean.
“What’s going on?” Dal asked, walking beside her.
“I think Alex is going to end up making a sad mistake,” she said, frowning. “As for Les, something has changed.”
“Is Ward beating her?” Dal’s tone was sharp though he seemed distracted. As always, his eyes were not still. He scanned the herd, glanced toward the other two outfits waiting to cross the river.