Southern Beauty

chapter 26


ir, there is someone here for you,” a train attendant tapped David on the shoulder and then pointed outside.

David, surprised by the intrusion, walked out to see who his visitor was. He didn’t see anyone at first and then he thought his eyes were deceiving him. On a bench near by was Johanna with a distraught look upon her face. He thought he was mistaken or it was a dream, but he continued toward her anyway.

Johanna stood once he stepped closer to her. She still did not smile. She looked as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. He searched her face for a glimpse of the love she had felt for him that stormy night. He broke the awkward silence.

“You are well I see,” he said.

She could barely speak, but said in a soft voice, almost a whisper, “yes.” She continued to be on her guard.

“I have been away longer than anticipated and I could not send word,” he said.

“Really, I hadn’t noticed,” said Johanna.

He smiled even with his heartache. She was being her stubborn self he loved so much. He wondered how he could have lost her.

“How did you find me?” he asked.

Johanna didn’t answer him right away, she still felt unsure of her decision to find him, and a bit surprised by his attire.

“Are you working for the rail system now?” she asked a bit confused.

David laughed and adjusted his hat, “you know me, and how I love to be undercover.”

“You like to pretend you are someone you are not,” said Johanna not smiling.

“I never pretended with you,” he said. “You married I heard, I guess congratulations is in order.”

She looked confused at first and then kept her voice low and steady. If she didn’t she would reveal her true feelings too easily and she wasn’t about to let that happen.

“How does it feel to believe that I am married?” she asked him to test his feelings.

“It’s……what do you mean believe? Are you not married to Malcolm?” he asked.

“No, I am not. He married Clarice,” she said with a smile. “A fitting couple, they deserve each other, don’t you think?”

“Oh, it was the general’s daughter. I just assumed when they said it was Malcolm that he married you,” David still processing this new information that Johanna was free to be his.

“Lieutenant, it’s time to head out. I got the bag we were looking for. It’s urgent we leave right away, all hell broke lose at Harpers Ferry,” a man interrupted who was also in civilian clothing like David. He ushered him to their horses.

“I am sorry. I must go,” David touched her face.

Her heart beat faster. She could barely catch her breath. He was leaving. How could she stop him? He watched her struggle internally. She had a desperate look in her eyes. They both wondered the same thing. If this would be the last time they meet, the last time they look into each other's eyes. He didn’t know how to tell her he loved her, there just wasn’t enough time. It would make departing that much harder.

"I..." He didn't finish. Johanna ran into his arms and they kissed. A passionate goodbye kiss, the most desperate of kisses. He held her tightly.

She couldn't bear to let him go, but didn’t know how to keep him. She couldn't say what was in her heart. It hurt too much to open that door. If she didn't speak the word, it would be easier to handle if this was their last goodbye. Johanna turned and ran and kept running, to where she had no idea. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing. She refused to look back. She couldn’t figure out what led her to come here in the first place. He seemed more distraught by her presence. Her future suddenly felt empty. She had to process this new setback. “Where was she to go having a life without David?” she wondered.

He did not follow her. He hurt as much as she. He watched her slowly run out of his life. He closed his eyes, mounted his horse and rode off to his next mission. Her kiss still lingered on his lips.


“Miss Johanna, what are you doing in Baltimore?” asked Jacob surprised to see Johanna sitting on a bench looking out over the harbor. “It’s not safe here anymore.”

“I don’t know,” Johanna answered him as if she were in a daze, tears running down her face.

“Did you see David?” Jacob asked. “He is here.”

“I did, please thank Emma for her letter,” she wiped her tears and took a deep breath. “She sent word to let me know you two were on your way here.”

“You saw David? What did he say? Why are you here by the dock alone?” Jacob confused by her predicament.

“I was wrong, Mr. Evans. I came here like some harlot after a man who never really loved me. I guess I was chasing a dream,” she felt in shock now.

“No, you were not. I am sure David loves you. I did everything in my power to prevent him from pursuing you, but it was no use, you were all he wanted,” Jacob tried to console her.

“He must have had a change of heart,” said Johanna. “Or he was fooling everyone to get the map from me. He has never told me he loved me, not ever. I came here to tell him I wanted to be with him but he just said goodbye,” said Johanna.

“I don’t know what he is thinking,” said Jacob. “Unless of course, he thought it was in your best interest to let you go.”

“It’s in my best interest or his?” she asked.

“I don’t know, both I suppose,” answered Jacob. “Look at all the heartache this has already caused.”

“I think it’s only heartache on my side. I convinced myself that he loved me. That he felt more for me then just wanting some military papers. I have been so wrong.” Johanna stood up and took a deep breath. “I guess it would have never worked anyway, my uncle has chosen to fight against the Union.”

“I did hear about your uncle. His decision has caused sorrow to many,” said Jacob sadly. “I am heading to Harrisburg, why don’t you come with me? Emma and I would love you to stay with us,” he said.

“Thank you, but I just can’t,” she said in barely a whisper.

“I understand, but where will you go?” he asked.

“I am going home,” she tried to smile.

“Virginia?” he asked.

“No, that is not my home anymore,” she frowned. “I fear I do not belong anywhere.”

“Emma will be in touch. She will be very upset with me if I don’t make sure you are okay. Can I do anything for you?” Jacob asked equally worried about her. “Can I get you a carriage?”

“I will be just fine, Mr. Evans. I don’t need a carriage to get to where I am going,” she kissed him on the cheek. “Please know that what ever happens, it is for the best.”

Jacob watched Johanna silently walk away as if she was in a daze. He had never seen her so beaten before. It broke his heart.

“You are not doing anything drastic are you?” Jacob asked worried about her safety.

Johanna didn’t answer him. He wasn’t sure if he should follow her or not.

Jacob grimaced, “What are you doing, David? You are going to lose her forever.”