Southern Beauty

chapter 24

e are stopping for a short rest, the horses need water,” said the driver as he helped Johanna out of the carriage.

“Of course,” said Johanna.

“Hello Miss Johanna,” Malcolm came up to her.

“Malcolm, what are you doing here?” Johanna scared of the man who shot her.

“I followed you. I wanted to apologize for everything. Can you ever forgive me?” said Malcolm with sadness to his voice.

“Malcolm, you shot me,” Johanna confused by his apology.

“I know. I will never forgive myself. I had a terrible fever and I was sick for many days. I didn’t know what I was doing. You have to believe me,” he begged her.

“You tricked me, you betrayed me,” Johanna continued. “How could you do this to me and my uncle?”

“That was a lie. I did not set you up with pirates and I did not switch sides. McPherson was confusing you,” insisted Malcolm.

“Why did you come here?” she kept her guard still not trusting him.

“I am trying to tell you, I am giving up the life of a soldier if that is what you want. I am spending my days taking care of you until you can forgive me,” he handed back her cigar box and map.

“You’re given me these after all that? You are handing them over just to say you’re sorry and then what? Say I forgive you right now, Malcolm, then what?” she asked. “Will you ask for these back? Did you realize you couldn’t go to my uncle without me and the papers?”

“That is not why I am here,” he insisted. “I thought you were going to stay with McPherson. When you left Harrisburg, I thought I might still have hope.”

“You shot me, took everything in my possession, lied to me, and betrayed me like no other, and you think that I would just forgive you?” she asked. “Why is it that you and Lieutenant McPherson can betray me in the worst way and think that I will just get over it?”

“You found out I was telling the truth about him, didn’t you?” Malcolm asked. Johanna refused to answer. “Let me take you to Ravensworth. Let me prove to you my deepest regret was losing you.”

“Malcolm, I don’t think that is necessary,” she continued to search him with her eyes for any deceit.

“Please let me. I did try to keep a close eye on you after I recovered from my fever. I found out where you were and kept watch from a distance to make sure you were in good health and safe,” he stepped closer not trying to alarm her.

“You mean to make sure the bullet you put in me didn’t kill me,” Johanna stared him down.

“Johanna, I swear to you, I knew that David felt something for you. I had myself convinced that you loved him too. I was out of my mind with fever and jealousy. I thought if I hurt you, I would hurt him too. It was a terrible mistake. You don’t love him do you?”

“No, I do not,” Johanna said without hesitation as she bit her lip in anger.

“Will you forgive me?” Malcolm asked.

“I will try,” Johanna said still not letting him get near.

“I will spend the rest of my days making this up to you,” Malcolm stepped closer until he was face to face with her.

“I still don’t know, I want to believe you, you don’t know how badly I want to believe you, but the pirate, Captain Myers, on the merchant ship?” questioned Johanna.

“Think Johanna, what are David’s companions last names?” Malcolm said at a whisper now.

“They are Jacob Evans and Preston…Myers!” Johanna shocked to find out that every time she turned around nothing seemed to be what she believed.

“And the truth shall set you free,” whispered Malcolm as he slowly put his hand to her frosted cheek.

“I don’t know what to believe anymore,” whispered Johanna, just feeling as if she wanted to give up. She put her head in his shoulder as he hugged her tightly.

“I know it will take time, but I still have hope that someday you will consider to be my wife,” Malcolm whispered.

It felt warm being in Malcolm’s arms. When Malcolm mentioned marriage, it jolted her. She was reminded about David’s marriage to Kathleen. She took a deep breath to ward off the pain.

“I knew you were ill Malcolm, I will give you that,” Johanna relented. “Maybe we can discuss this later when I get to Ravensworth.”

“Miss, are you ready to leave?” asked the driver.

Johanna nodded, “Yes, I am, thank you.”

“This is wonderful news!” he gave her his best charming smile, dimples and all.

“I said we will discuss it later,” she reiterated.

“Then I look forward to our next meeting,” he kissed her hand softly and then helped her into the carriage.

Malcolm stood in place as he watched the carriage ride out of sight. His smile had now morphed into a smirk.

“You have got to be kidding me,” said David who had now come out of the shadows inside the carriage.

“What are you doing here?” she asked him as her heart skipped a beat confused by his appearance.

David ignored her question, “Well my Southern Beauty, I didn’t think it possible, but you have definitely surprised me again. You would consider marrying him? After he shot you? Oh, you must be very desperate to get married.”

“Desperation is what drove me to let you, a Northerner, kiss me several times,” Johanna stared him down.

“Was it desperation or love?” David asked.

Johanna refused to answer. “Why would you bring me to Harrisburg, to ridicule me in front of your family or to parade your little wife around in front of me?”

“Do you think that is why I brought you there?” David asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Johanna frowned.

“It does matter to me,” David put his hand on hers.

Johanna’s heart pounded in her chest. His touch made her tremble. She looked into his eyes. His sapphire eyes she was convinced she would never see looking at her that way again, and here they were.

“Do you believe I love you?” she asked him.

“I do,” he insisted.

“Well, you’re mistaken,” she said. “Not everyone is in love with you Mr. McPherson.”

“No, not everyone, just you are,” he insisted.

“How do you know that? How could you have possibly convinced yourself that is true? I have never giving you an inkling of hope that I would ever fall for a man like you. A Yankee for goodness sake,” she continued with her insults. “You aren’t any different than Malcolm, he betrayed me the same as you.”

“If you think that I am anything like Mr. Graystone than you don’t know me at all, Miss Lee,” said David.

“Well, I don’t care to,” she lied. “It’s all lies. No one seems to know how to tell me the truth anymore,” Johanna turned her face toward the window to escape his spell he had on her. “My encounters with the pirates in New Orleans were not from Malcolm and you know it.”

“I do now. I didn’t then. I am sorry. I thought I knew Preston more than anyone but I too was deceived. I should have known he had pirate blood in him,” David confessed with a bit of a chuckle. “He fits the profile doesn’t he?”

Johanna smiled, “Yes, he definitely does.”

“You don’t know what restrain it took to not want to step out of the carriage and pulverize Malcolm,” he said.

“Why didn’t you?” she asked curious.

“Because I have made too many mistakes with you and I will never put you in harm’s way again,” he stared at her wondering what she was thinking. “So, where do we go from here?” David asked her.

“Well, you are getting married and I am going to live with my family in Virginia, which is now planning on seceding,” said Johanna “I guess this is where we say our goodbyes.”

David sat next to her now, leaned in and whispered gently, “I am not getting married.”

The words freed her from the pain that she had been carrying within her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to keep her from smiling. All she wanted to do was smile or giggle, or laugh, but there still was so many obstacles in the way. She felt his gaze upon her. She could hear their hearts beating and the horse’s hooves clopping. David put his hands over her cheeks and brought her to him. He kissed her with so much passion she feared she wouldn’t be able to stop. His embrace was all that she had longed for.

“What are we doing?” Johanna stared at David.

“It’s called kissing,” David smiled.

“You know what I mean. Where do you think this is going to go? We live happily ever after?” Johanna now faced with reality.

“Why can’t we? You have to trust me my Beauty. Have a little faith. It will all work out,” David smiled and caressed her cheek.

Just then Johanna looked outside of the carriage and saw Ravensworth approaching and within its borders were soldiers surrounding its grounds.

“Those must be General McClellan’s men,” observed David. He knew he had to leave before he was noticed. “I have one favor to ask you,” David looked at the map that Johanna was holding.

“You want the map,” Johanna now feeling duped.

“It’s not what you think,” he said. “Jacob wants to retire and stay with his family in Harrisburg. Meade will never let him if we go back to him empty handed.”

“So, it’s for Jacob, not for you?” Johanna was still unsure of his intentions.

“Listen, keep the cigar box. I just need to bring the map back. Please I am asking you to trust me,” he pleaded.

She bit her lip deciding her fate, “all right, I will give it to you, but it’s not for you, I am doing it for Jacob and Emma.”

“I know,” he frowned and looked out the window.

They both felt the moment intensify. He would have to depart and leave her alone once again. To Johanna it seemed her once in a lifetime romance would come to an end once David stepped out of her carriage. A foreboding feeling crept over her.

“Wait,” she whispered before he leapt out of the moving carriage. He seemed to know what she was feeling perhaps he was felt it too. He didn’t say a word. He grabbed her with a powerful embrace, kissed her, and then jumped.

“Johanna, my dear, you made it,” said Mary Custiss-Lee hugging Johanna. “I am so sorry for leaving Arlington before you came. Are you all right?”

“I am fine, Aunt Mary,” smiled Johanna feeling the warmth of her aunt’s hug. “I am happy to finally be here in one piece.”

“You have been through quite a lot since your parents left,” said Mary with a frown.

“You don’t know the half of it,” said Johanna.

“Well, we can sit and have tea and you can tell me all about it,” smiled Mary.

“That’s sounds wonderful,” said Johanna returning the smile.

“Your uncle should be here soon,” said Mary. “He told me he appointed a young soldier to escort you here. Where is this young man?”

“It is a long story,” sighed Johanna. “Maybe one I should write down one day, for I can’t believe it myself, and I went through it.”

“Was it that bad, my dear?” asked Mary worried about her niece.

“Yes, I would like to hear all about it,” said a voice from the doorway.

“Robert, you are home,” Mary ran to her husband, embracing him.

Robert smiled at his wife and then eyed his niece, “Johanna, I think you and I need to talk.”

“Yes, I think we do,” said Johanna.

Weeks had passed and although Johanna was thankful to finally be with her family, she missed David and thought of him often. No word came from him and she started to believe that maybe he really did only pretend his affections to get a hold of the map. Everyone was talking about the new Confederate States of America in which David was no part. Malcolm had continued to pursue her and she began to welcome the company. He did seem to feel regretful about shooting her and eventually she did forgive him.

“Johanna, do you truly forgive me for shooting you?” Malcolm asked as they walked the gardens.

“I do Malcolm,” said Johanna.

“Will you say I do again to me in front of witnesses?” Malcolm smiled.

“Maybe I will,” Johanna smiled back.

“You don’t know how happy you have made me,” Malcolm leaned in and kissed her cheek. “I must leave at once to New Orleans. I have been called to a meeting with your uncle at Fort Pike. I can’t wait to tell him the news!”

“When will you be back?” Johanna asked.

“In two weeks, just enough time for you to plan our wedding,” Malcolm smiled as he walked out the door.

“Wait, I can’t plan a wedding in two weeks,” Johanna tried to say but he had already left. “What am I doing?” Johanna questioned herself. “I must speak with Aunt Mary.”

“Sir, I know I have asked you this before, but I am asking you again for leave for a few months,” reminded David.

“I understand that, Lieutenant. I can’t accept your request. I need you, you’re my best soldier. If I let you leave now I am afraid you will never return, like your pal Myers,” said General Meade.

“I told you, he never left New Orleans. I guess he decided to stay with his outlaw brother and become a pirate himself,’ admitted David. “It was a surprise to me sir. I had no idea he was related.”

“At ease soldier, I know that,’ Meade said.

“You have me on missions that anyone can do, I haven’t even gotten to write a letter to my family in six weeks,” David said now frustrated with his predicament.

“I know. We do thank you for your dedication and retrieving the map for us. Now that Virginia seceded and Lee followed like we predicted, it will be a detrimental asset. General Grant is looking for a few men to lead another mission. It’s dangerous but I know that you can handle it, so I recommended you. Will you consider taking it?” Meade asked.

“What is it?” asked David.

“We need you to head to Baltimore and retrieve luggage that was taken by a mob from the Baltimore Riot. There was something in one bag that must be retrieved. Further instructions will be waiting for you at the train station where it was last seen.”

“What in this bag?” David asked.

“A letter from Lincoln, let’s just leave it at that,” Meade said. “I need you to take this too.”

David realized Meade had handed him the map that started it all. “I can’t do that,” he whispered.

“Yes you can. It’s an easy task. Why don’t you take Evans with you or if you prefer you can go it alone. Change your clothes, you’re going undercover for this one,” Meade ordered. “Oh by the way, Private Graystone decided to follow in Lee’s footsteps and leave the Union, he was a traitor just as you suspected. He ended up marrying the General’s daughter.”

David sat in sheer disbelief. He whispered to himself, “You mean his niece.” He felt like he had just been punched. “Sir,” he said aloud, “I will accept the mission. But after that I am staying in Harrisburg to protect my family.”

“I understand,” answered Meade.

David rode hard into the night. Grief stricken at his loss he cried out into the abyss, “If you only had a little faith in me.”