Snow Falls

chapter Thirty-Seven

“So an editor?” Jen laughed. “That’s the best you could come up with?”

Ryan tipped her beer bottle in her direction. “As soon as I said it, I was like, what the hell are you thinking?”

Her smile tempered a bit. “I wish you would have told me. Then I really could have picked your brain,” she said.

“When I finally felt comfortable enough to tell you, I thought you would be so angry with me. And you picked my brain anyway.”

“I did, didn’t I?” Jen relaxed in her lounger, enjoying the sunshine on her legs and the view she thought she’d never see again. “It’s so beautiful. So different than when I was here.”

“When the spring flowers came, I wished so badly that you were here to see them,” Ryan said. “I wished you were here for so many things.”

Jen turned, resting her gaze on her. “Are you still afraid?” she asked quietly.

Ryan nodded. “Terrified.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“I didn’t know who you were,” she said. “I mean, when I saw you on TV, I had no clue who Catherine Ryan-Barrett was. I don’t watch entertainment shows, I don’t read tabloids.” She shrugged. “I rarely even go to movies. Cheryl had to tell me who you were and even then I didn’t know.” She reached across the small space that separated their chairs and took Ryan’s hand in hers. “I don’t care what your name is. That doesn’t mean anything to me. You’re just Ryan, the woman I fell in love with. Don’t be afraid of this.”

Ryan brought their hands up and softly kissed hers. “I don’t belong in that world,” she said quietly. “I don’t remember a time that my mother and I ever got along, but the thing with the book separated us completely. She had no clue that writing was my passion,” she said. “When my name got leaked and everyone assumed that I couldn’t have possibly written the book—I mean, I must not have a brain since I’m nothing more than an heiress—my mother openly questioned it as well. She was easy pickings for any reporter who wanted a story.”

Jen saw the sadness on her face but didn’t comment, wanting her to finish her thoughts.

“My grandmother knew. I wrote the book while I was in college and I used to let her read it while I was working on it. She’s the only one who stood by me. That’s why I feel obligated to attend her annual birthday party. It’s the only time I see her. See them.”

“Your brother didn’t know?”

“Charles’ sole purpose in life is to party and to see how many women he can bed in his lifetime.”

“You aren’t close to him either?”

“Oh, we get along okay. He’s three years older than I am. We just don’t have anything in common.”

“Tell me why you’re a hermit,” she said with a smile.

Ryan finished her beer and set the bottle down beside her chair, pausing to ruffle Kia’s fur. “It started innocently enough,” she said. “I wanted to escape the constant questions about the book, the reporters who were hanging around, the cameras. Being an heiress and being a lesbian, well, let’s say there was always interest in who I was seen with.”

“So there were lots of Megans, huh?”

“Yes. I was young, just out of college. And I needed a break. Like I said, that world wasn’t for me. The only time I’d been to Aspen was for skiing, but I was familiar with it. I figured it was small enough where I could disappear for a few weeks and still provide me with what I was used to. A five-star hotel,” she said with a laugh.

“I take it your tastes changed?”

“Yeah. I took up hiking. Got a dog. Nico. No matter how much money I said I’d pay, the hotel said no to dogs. So, I bought this little shack. I went up there thinking I would stay a couple of weeks, then I thought I’d stay through summer. Then the aspens turned, and I fell more in love with the place. Next thing I know, it’s winter, and I’m not going anywhere. I skied nearly every day.”

“Did you make friends?” she asked.

“No. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want anyone to know who I was. I was a ski bum, nothing more. So I fixed the shack up, thought maybe I’d stay a while. But Aspen is not some sleepy little ski town. Tourists would recognize me from time to time. My brother liked to ski Aspen so he showed up every year. It just got to be too crowded for me. When I lost Nico, I decided it was time to move on,” she said. “I never once considered going back home.”

“So Reese and Morgan are the first friends you’ve made since you left home?”

“Yes. Ten years now since I left.”

Jen squeezed her hand. “Oh, Ryan. I’m so sorry.”

Ryan shrugged. “It was my choice, Jen. I was used to being alone, living in my own world. This place here,” she said, “is my home. I could have made it bigger. I could have bought some place closer to town. But this is what I wanted. This is all I needed.” She paused, waiting until Jen looked at her. “Until I met you. Then I realized how truly empty my life was.” Her gaze swept out across the mountains. “I realized that all this was nothing without you here. It had lost its beauty somehow.”

“You hid it well,” Jen said. “You appeared to be perfectly content with your life as it was.”

“Oh, I was. But you came in and turned my world upside down. I didn’t want you to leave.”

Jen nodded. “I didn’t want to leave.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jen smiled. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Ryan laughed. “God, I missed you.” She sighed. “I missed this. Talking with you.” Ryan turned to her. “How long can you stay?”

“I can stay...a while,” she said cautiously, not knowing what Ryan intended. “I would love to see the aspens turn.”

“It’s beautiful, Jen. The mountains turn to gold. Everywhere you look, it’s gold.” Ryan raised an eyebrow. “They don’t turn until well into September though.”

Jen’s heart sunk. “If that’s too long, I can leave whenever—”

“No, Jen. No. I want you to stay. I just don’t want you to feel that you have to. I know you’ve got your life back in Santa Fe. You have friends there. You have a house.”

“Yes. I have all those things,” Jen said. “My publisher is there. I’m familiar with it. But I don’t have you there.” She took a deep breath, hoping what she was about to say was something Ryan wanted to hear. “I’m crazy in love with you, Ryan. It’s fireworks and Fourth of July,” she said with a laugh. “I want...I want to stay.” She was shocked to see dampness in Ryan’s eyes. “I want to stay here.”

“You’d...you’d give up all that to stay with me?”

“Yes. My heart is up here. With you.” Jen knew that to be true. She’d give up everything in Santa Fe to be with Ryan. Ryan was the one who made her whole.

Ryan stood, pulling Jen into a hug. Jen clung to her, relishing the closeness she felt with Ryan.

“I want you to stay,” Ryan finally said. “But I also want you to be free to leave if you want to. You know how isolated it is up here. You would get—”

Jen stopped her with a kiss, letting her lips linger, feeling Ryan’s pulse spring to life. She pulled away a little, enough to look into her eyes.

“In the summer, like now, we can be in Lake City in less than thirty minutes,” she said. “That’s not isolated. And you have two very good friends who I happen to like very much as well. That’s not isolated.” She smiled. “And spending another winter up here with you, watching the snow fall on the deck, that sounds like heaven to me. That is isolated,” she said with a laugh. “But unlike last winter, we now have something we can do,” she said as her hands moved up Ryan’s body, resting on her breasts, “to while away the time.”

Ryan cupped her face, her mouth still smiling as she kissed her. Jen smiled too as they drew apart.

“Speaking of friends, Reese and Morgan are coming up for dinner,” Jen said.

“They are?”

“Yes. Reese said you owed her a steak.”

“So I do.”

Jen’s fingers traced the outline of Ryan’s nipples, and her arousal flared. “Of course, that’s still a few hours away,” she said, lifting her head for a kiss.

Ryan accepted her invitation, leading her quickly back inside the cabin. Jen paused, her gaze going back to the deck, to the dogs lounging beside their chairs, then to the mountains. She smiled and let out a contented breath.

I’m home.