Snow Falls

chapter Thirty-Three



“You slept with her? And then you just left?”

Ryan nodded, almost afraid to look at Morgan. “I didn’t know what to do.”

Morgan shook her head. “How about sticking around long enough to talk about it. God, you simply amaze me.” She squatted down beside her. “Ryan, you know I love you. And I say this with the utmost affection. But you, my friend, are an idiot.” She stood. “An idiot.”

“What did I do? I went there, hoping that we could talk, catch up. The next thing I know, we’re naked and—”

“And you left. What about Jen? How do you think she felt the next morning when she woke up and you were gone? How do you think she felt when she read the lame-ass note you left? You know she’s never been with a woman before. You know how new this is for her.” Morgan shook her head again. “She probably doesn’t have anyone to talk to. She probably needed to talk about what happened. But you left.”

“I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Come on, Ryan. You had sex with her. She’s not some bimbo you met on the ski slopes. This is Jen. Why would you leave?”

“Hell, I don’t know. She may be engaged by now. I didn’t need to stick around. I know I probably already screwed up her life. I didn’t need to hang around and talk about it.”

“I swear, you are clueless. She’s not engaged.”

“How do you know?”

“Because she told me how she felt about him...what’s his name? Brad? She told me she wasn’t in love with him. She wasn’t going to marry the guy. You. You were the one she was attracted to. You. You big idiot.”

Ryan watched Morgan huff off, and she turned to Reese who hadn’t said a word. “Anything to add?”

Reese smiled. “No. I think Morgan pretty much covered it.”

“So you think I’m an idiot too?”

“All I know is, when I picked her up that day, the last thing that woman wanted was to be leaving with me.”

Ryan looked into the eyes of her friend. “I’m scared.”

Reese nodded. “Are you in love with her?”

Ryan looked away. Was she? She shrugged. “I don’t guess I’ve ever been in love before. Because I’ve never felt like this before.” She looked away, staring out into the forest behind their deck. “It was incredible. She was so...so innocent and trusting. My God, we spent hours together. It was incredible.” She took a deep breath. “And I panicked. I totally panicked. I thought, what have I done? Jen doesn’t need this in her life. Doesn’t need me. So I ran. I told myself it would be better for her, you know. It’s better if I left. She could go back to her life, I could go back to mine. You know, she’s got a life there. She’s got friends there. She’s got...Brad,” she said. “What do I have to offer? I’m up here. This feels like home to me. I feel alive up here.”

“She makes you feel alive, doesn’t she?”

Ryan slowly nodded. “Like never before.”


***



“You could hang around here a few days,” Morgan offered the next morning. “Cody has certainly enjoyed having the girls here.”

Ryan followed her gaze to where the three dogs were playfully fighting over one of Cody’s toys. She was tempted to stay. The thought of going up to the cabin—alone—was unsettling. But she couldn’t put it off forever.

“Maybe I’ll stay one more night,” she conceded. “But I’ll pick up some steaks at Lou’s. You know how Reese likes to sit out and grill.”

“Deal.”

Ryan sipped her coffee, wondering why Morgan hadn’t left for work yet. “You staying home today?”

Morgan nodded. “It’s Monday. Not a lot going on. Tina and Greg can handle things.”

“Babysitting me?” she guessed.

Morgan smiled. “I thought you might want to talk.”

“Are you going to yell at me again?”

“No.” Morgan sat across from her, sipping her own coffee. “Did she like your hair?”

Ryan remembered Jen’s fingers as they brushed through it. “Yes. Yes she did.” She cleared her throat, then looked at Morgan. “I’m not...I’m not strong enough, Morgan.”

Morgan’s eyes softened as she nodded. “Yes, you are.”

“No. I couldn’t chance it. I couldn’t possibly go see her again. I couldn’t take the rejection.”

Morgan reached across the table, taking her hand. “Ryan, why do you think Jen would reject you? Jen...she’s not like the others. She doesn’t know who you are. She doesn’t care what your name is.”

“No. I couldn’t take the chance. It would break my heart.”

Morgan pulled her hand away. “Yeah. Well, just think about yourself, why don’t you? What about Jen? Do you think about her? You’ve probably already broken her heart.”

Ryan shook her head. “You don’t know that.”

“She’s in love with you. She was already in love with you when she left here. Why do you think she was crying?”

Ryan stared at her, speechless.

“Don’t let this chance pass you by, Ryan. Love doesn’t come around often. You’ve got to grab it when it does.” She shook her head slowly. “You know how Reese and I met. You know our story. We were both too stubborn to admit we’d fallen in love and had broken our silly no-strings agreement.”

“This is different.”

“Is it? Love is love, Ryan.”

Ryan stood up, walking away from the table. “Is it love, Morgan? Is it really? We spent two months together and shared one kiss. We slept together. Is it love?”

“You really are terrified, aren’t you?”

“I feel like my life is coming unraveled,” she admitted. “My safe, solitary life...the life I’ve grown to love, is coming apart at the seams. So, yes, I’m terrified.” She shoved the chair against the table. “I’ve got to get it back. We’ll take a rain check on steaks, okay? I need to...I just need to go. Get back to the cabin.”

Ryan whistled for the dogs, then did what she did best.

She ran away.