Snow Falls

chapter Thirty-Six



Nothing looked familiar. It had been four months since she left, and the bright colors of summer had replaced the snow she remembered piled high on the side of the road. Thanks to Reese’s precise directions, though, she had no chance to take a wrong turn.

Jen gripped the steering wheel tightly, still not knowing what she was going to say to Ryan. She had tried to imagine Ryan’s reaction to her visit, and she just couldn’t. Part of her was afraid Ryan would tell her to leave. After all, this was her sanctuary. She lived a solitary life by choice. Jen didn’t want to assume Ryan would let her in. She hadn’t had a choice during the winter when Jen was stuck here. Now? She might tell Jen to head right back to Santa Fe. And that, of course, would break her.

Cheryl told her she was crazy to come up here, saying Jen was only asking for heartache. Maybe she was. But she couldn’t leave things as they were. She couldn’t let Ryan just run from her. Although she did try to prepare herself for the possibility that Ryan wouldn’t want her here, that Ryan would ask her to leave.

She was well past where her rented SUV had been buried by the avalanche. She glanced again at Reese’s map, slowing when she saw a road to the right. She turned off the forest road, seeing the posted Private Property signs, knowing she would soon come upon the cabin.

Her heart beat nervously. She swallowed her apprehension, knowing she was doing the right thing. Knowing that didn’t help ease her nerves, though. She bounced along the dirt road, making note of the landmarks Reese had told her to look for. It all looked so different when it was not buried in snow.

Finally, she saw it. The cabin. A black Jeep was parked to the side under one of the pines. She stopped her rental next to it, sitting still for several minutes, thinking Ryan would come out if she heard her. There was no movement, however, so she got out, her legs shaking with nervousness.

“You’re being ridiculous,” she muttered, although that did little to temper her uneasiness.

She paused at the door, knocking politely and waiting. Still nothing. She had a moment of panic, knowing Morgan and Reese hadn’t talked to Ryan in over a week. What if something had happened to her? What if she was injured? What if—

She shook her thoughts away, making her way around the cabin to the deck. She peered in through the windows, finding the inside as empty as she expected. Nothing looked disturbed or out of place.

She turned around on the deck, taking in the view, a view that always put her at ease for some reason. The sun was sinking lower, signaling the end to the day. Jen nodded, knowing immediately where she’d find Ryan.

She hurried around the cabin, finding the trail that would take her to the ridge...and the sunset. The altitude was affecting her; she had to stop several times to catch her breath. Finally, she crested the ridge, the sight before her making her stop in her tracks.

Ryan stood at the edge, facing west, her body silhouetted by the setting sun. Sierra and Kia stood beside her, one on either side, appearing to be watching the sunset, as enthralled by the sight as their master was. Jen stood spellbound as she watched them. She didn’t move, letting Ryan finish the show alone. How many times had Jen caught a sunset, always imagining Ryan just like this, standing on the ridge as she watched the day draw to a close.

I’m in love with her.

Just before the sun slipped totally behind the mountain, Sierra turned, spotting her. Jen held her breath as first Sierra, then Kia ran toward her, both barking a warning until they drew nearer, near enough to recognize her. Then tails wagged and both dogs jostled for attention around her legs.

She laughed, not realizing how much she’d missed them too. She finally looked up, feeling Ryan approaching as well. They stood there for countless seconds, neither speaking.

Jen stepped forward, saying the first thing that came to mind.

“I refuse to call you Catherine.”

Ryan stared at her. “You know?”

“Knowing what your name is doesn’t change anything, Ryan. At least not for me.” She tilted her head. “Why did you run?”

“I panicked. I just...I panicked. I thought I’d ruined your life.”

Jen nodded. “You did. You did ruin my life, Ryan. I’d just spent the most incredible, wonderful, beautiful night of my life, only to find you gone the next morning. You ran. I needed you there so badly the next morning. But you left me.”

“I’m so sorry, Jen. I didn’t know...if Brad was still in the picture. I thought maybe you were engaged. I just don’t know. I panicked.”

“Do you think I could have made love to you like that if I was planning to marry someone?”

Ryan shrugged. “I just didn’t know, Jen. I’m not used to this. I’m sorry.” She shoved her hands in her pockets. Jen wondered if it was to stop herself from coming closer, to perhaps touch her. Ryan looked around. “How did you find me?”

Jen smiled. “The sunset. Where else would you be?”

Ryan smiled too. “You think you know me, huh?”

Jen nodded. “I think I know you, the real you, better than anyone else does.” She took another step closer, amused by the frightened look in Ryan’s eyes. “Isn’t this where we’re supposed to hug or something?”

“I’m scared, Jen. I’m scared of this.”

“Me too.”

“I missed you...so much. It’s like I can’t get you out of my mind.”

“Then stop trying so hard to.”

Ryan looked away again. “Did you think of me?”

Jen nodded. “Daily. Nightly.”

Ryan looked back at her. “What happened with Brad?”

“I told him I wasn’t in love with him.”

Ryan nodded. “You broke his heart?”

“No. He knew. We’ve remained friends.” She kicked absently at a rock, wondering how much she could push Ryan without having her run. “So, are we just going to stand out here and visit? Or do you want me to leave? Or what? I don’t want to assume anything with you, Ryan.” Their eyes met, and Jen wouldn’t let her look away. “Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

Ryan still held her gaze. “I want to hold you and kiss you and never let you go.”

“Then I suggest you do that.”


***



Ryan looked down at Jen, seeing the anticipation in her eyes. She was so lovely, still looked so innocent, so trusting. There were so many things they needed to talk about but right now, with Jen lying naked in her bed, she didn’t want to talk about anything.

“What are you thinking?”

“I was thinking how beautiful you look,” she said.

Jen held her hand out, waiting until Ryan took it. “Don’t be afraid,” Jen said.

“I’m afraid you’re going to break my heart,” she admitted.

Jen shook her head. “No. I promise. Remember when I told you what I had with Brad wasn’t enough? That there had to be more?”

Ryan nodded.

“This...is the more I was looking for. You.” She smiled and tugged on Ryan’s hand. “Now, come to bed.”

Ryan pushed her fears aside, wanting nothing more than to give herself to Jen. She’d been so terribly lonely since Jen had left. She’d had four months to sort out her feelings, four months to admit—and accept—that Jen had stolen her heart without even knowing it. And now here Jen was, offering herself. Offering her love.

As Ryan settled on top of her, her thoughts weren’t on the present, but on the first time they’d made love. Jen, so tentative, yet so strong, was so sure of what she wanted. Ryan had been the one unsure. Not much had changed there, she noted, as Jen pulled her closer, her legs parting, making room for Ryan.

“I was afraid I would never get to touch you again,” she admitted as her lips moved to Jen’s mouth.

Jen moaned into the kiss, her mouth opening, letting Ryan inside. Jen’s hands weren’t still as they moved across her back, then lower, cupping Ryan and pulling her even closer to her body. Ryan raised herself, trailing kisses across Jen’s neck, her throat, moving to her breast.

“I love how you kiss me,” Jen murmured, holding Ryan at her breast.

Ryan teased her nipple with her tongue, feeling it harden even more before closing over it, gently suckling as Jen pushed up against her, her hips moving slowly against her own.

Ryan pulled her mouth away, looking into Jen’s hooded eyes, seeing desire—seeing love. She kissed the lips that were parted as her thigh nudged Jen’s legs farther apart. She could feel Jen’s wetness on her skin as she pressed into her. Jen moaned again, capturing Ryan’s hips and pulling her hard against her.

Ryan reached between them, opening Jen to her. Their *s met and Jen’s head fell back, her eyes closing as she rocked against Ryan.

“Feels so good,” Jen whispered. “So good.”

Ryan balanced her weight on her arms, stroking Jen’s * with her own, their wetness blending together. Ryan’s breathing was as ragged as Jen’s, her heart pounding fast in her chest as she moved against her, slower at first, then faster—harder—both of them moaning with each thrust. Far too soon, her orgasm threatened, and she knew she was about to climax. Her body was damp with perspiration as she continued to push into Jen, watching with satisfaction as Jen struggled to draw breath, the pleasure evident on her face. Their eyes met and held as they moved together in unison.

Two, three more strokes and Jen finally screamed out, her hands gripping tightly to Ryan’s hips. Ryan let herself go, pressing hard into Jen as her own orgasm washed over her, wave after wave of pleasure soaking into her soul.

Her arms gave way and she collapsed on top of Jen, their breath mingling as they held each other.

“I love you,” Ryan murmured against her mouth.

Jen held her tighter as her breathing slowed. “I love you.”