Snow Falls

chapter Thirty-Four



Jen stared at the picture, memorizing every detail. She didn’t know why she was torturing herself, but she couldn’t help it. The camera had caught Ryan unaware, her attention on the young woman beside her. Jen refused to speculate on who the blonde was, keeping her attention on Ryan instead. Catherine. She shook her head. No, it was Ryan. She would always be Ryan to her.

Her phone rang and she glanced at the number, not recognizing it. She closed her laptop before answering.

“Jen Kincaid,” she said.

“Jen, hi. This is Morgan, from Colorado. You may not remember me, I’m—”

“Of course I remember you.” She paused, feeling her pulse race to life nervously. “How is she?”

“Not great,” Morgan said.

“That makes two of us.”

“I figured as much.”

“I suppose she told you?”

“Yes. She didn’t mean to hurt you, Jen. She thought she was doing the right thing.”

“By leaving me? By coming here and...and...and then just leaving?”

“I know. You’ve got to understand. She’s—”

“She’s running,” Jen said. “She’s been running. That’s why she lives the way she does.” Jen took a deep breath. “I know who she is. I saw...I saw her on TV. I saw her face and I couldn’t believe it was her. Now I know what she’s been running from. And I understand why she didn’t tell me who she was. I know she didn’t want me to judge her. But to me, she’s still just Ryan.”

“She told me she was afraid to tell you. She said she was afraid you’d think she was a fraud.”

“I would never think that. I don’t care who she is. I don’t care about all that.” She stared off into space. “I feel so empty inside, Morgan. I miss her so much.” She bit her lip, knowing what she needed to do. “I want to see her.” She took a deep breath, hesitating. “Do you think that’s a good idea? Do you think I should come up? I mean, I couldn’t bear the rejection if she just sent me away. I think I’d rather live with the what if’s than to go up there and have her send me away.”

“She won’t send you away, Jen. She’s fallen hard for you, it seems.”

Jen closed her eyes, not daring to believe it. “I’m afraid.”

“Yes, so is she. Jen, Ryan’s not one for talking. She’s used to running. Right now, I think she’s terrified of how she feels. I know she regrets what she did, but she still thinks what she did was best for you. I talked to her some, but she left here the other day in a panic. We haven’t heard from her since.”

“She’s hiding,” Jen said, knowing with certainty that Ryan was.

“Yes. Unfortunately she can’t hide from herself.”