Shine Not Burn

“It’s not about the sex,” he said, going all sober on me. “Well, okay, the sex might have been a little icing on the cake, but that’s not it.”

“You’re being very mysterious,” I said, now nervous as hell. I really liked this cowboy. Mack. But I didn’t know a single thing about him other than the fact that he doesn’t wear underwear and he’s got a big cock-a-doodle doo that he definitely knows how to use. Yee haw.

“I don’t mean to be mysterious. I guess I’m not as bold as I’d like to be sometimes. Thing is …” He paused and then rolled onto his back, resting his hands under his head. “…I have something on my mind, and I want to say it to you, even though I know it probably won’t make a difference and I’ll probably never see you again.”

The idea that we’d never be together again made me literally sick to my stomach, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t the alcohol, even though the bed was spinning with its effects. Really, really spinning.

“Just say it,” I urged, my words slurring a little. “You go first and then I’ll go.”

“Chicken,” he teased, easing his arm under my neck.

“Guilty.” I nestled in close to him, turning on my side so I could rest my head on his chest. I knew it was stupid, but in that moment, I felt cared for. Something I’d never truly experienced with the man I’d so recently wanted to call Husband. This was a very sad state of affairs, indeed. I was falling in lust with a man from Oregon, and I lived on the opposite end of the country. Our situation couldn’t possibly be more complicated.

“Okay, well, here it goes. And if you want me to leave after I say it, then so be it. I’d rather say it and take the walk of shame than not say it and miss out on something.”

“Alright already, say it.” I faked a loud yawn. “I’m about to fall asleep over here.”

He tickled my ribs with his free hand. “You’re ornery. I like that about you.” He leaned over and kissed my neck, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. I probably should have been mad, but when my nipples went rock hard over the sensation it created, I had the opposite emotion coming over me.

He left my neck and laid back down. “What I have going through my mind is that I don’t want this to end. There’s something about you that’s just lassoed my heart or my common sense or something and I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to get it back until you let it go.”

My heart seized in my chest. The beats just wouldn’t come. And then I gasped, the need for oxygen too overwhelming. I’d been holding my breath without realizing it. “Really?” I croaked out. No one had ever said anything even remotely similar to me before. Even men who’d claimed to love me.

“Really. Does that make you want to run to Mexico?”

“Mexico?” I giggled.

“That’s the farthest place from here I could come up with. Give me a few more minutes to sober up and I’ll come up with something better.”

I put my elbow up and rested my head on my palm. “Maybe it’s just the beer talking. Maybe I’m not as awesome as you think I am in the sober light of day.”

He pulled me against him and kissed me soundly. “No. It’s not the beer. I might be a little out of it, but that doesn’t make me deaf, dumb, or blind. You’re something special. Didn’t you feel it? The way we fit together so perfectly?” The expression on his face was vulnerable. Like this was important to him.

“Yes,” I whispered, so thrilled to be hearing these things come out of his mouth that I couldn’t speak properly. I couldn’t even think straight. Bells were clanging and alarms were going off in my brain. He likes me! A lot! He really likes me! And he’s hung like a horse!

“I’ll tell you what …,” he said, pulling me on top of him, “…right now I want to do two things with you, but I can’t decide which one to do first.” He grinned up at me mischievously, my hair hanging down to create a curtain around us.

“What? Anal sex?” I asked.

He laughed loud and long. Then he spanked me on both cheeks before rubbing them and squeezing them gently. He pushed his hips up towards me, causing his semi-hardness to push into my folds. “No, you crazy girl, that’s not what I was thinking. I’ll take a raincheck on that, though.” The dimple in his cheek came out for the first time since we played blackjack.

“Okay, so what were you thinking, then, if it wasn’t the booty love?” I rubbed myself just slightly along his length and was surprised to find that the idea of another round of sex so soon wasn’t entirely unpleasant. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He got harder with every passing second.

He reached down between us and angled his erection up, the tip teasing at my lower stomach. He said nothing; he just waited to see what I would do.