Renegade Wife

chapter Eighteen


Kane entered the Cheyenne village with Molly’s note tucked safely inside his buckskin shirt. As he approached the lodges mounted on his mare, he noted curious young eyes questioning him. This was the first time he’d arrived here without Molly since she’d started the school. Apparently, most of the children, as well as the adults seemed to notice.

He bypassed those curious eyes, not quite ready to read her note, not quite ready to disappoint the children who had treated Molly like one of their own. He shouldn’t have been too surprised. Many here were the same people who had taken him in when he was just a frightened little boy as well, making him feel welcome and part of the tribe without qualm.

Molly’s note found a warm place against his skin. And he wondered if his reluctance to read it aloud had more to do with him than the children. The finality of her decision felt like a limb being severed, the wound deep and lasting. Would the final dissolution of their marriage feel like death itself?

Kane dismounted, leaving his horse to a young brave who would secure the animal in a corral for the time being and greeted his mother outside her lodge. She met his somber look with one of her own. “May we speak, Mother?”

She nodded and entered the lodge. Kane found his place and sat down, eager to speak to Singing Bird—the only mother he had truly known.

“I have news,” he began. “My marriage has ended. Molly will no longer teach here. She will no longer be a wife. She has moved to town.”

Singing Bird remained silent a long time and finally when she spoke it was to ask a question. “Are these your wishes, Gray Wolf?”

“My wishes?” Kane exhaled deeply. “This is the way it must be. Our bargain is no longer. My grandfather is not dying but rather played a role of deception. There is no need for the marriage now.”

“No need? So, you do not need this woman you have married?”

Kane had always disliked his mother’s pointed questions, but none more so than now. She’d taken him back to his childhood when she would ask her purposeful questions.

So, you have decided to run with the young braves instead of finishing your chores?

So, you have more than enough pemmican, but you chose not to share with your friend?

Kane had asked himself a dozen times the same question. Did he need Molly? But the better question had always been, did she need him? Kane didn’t think so. His wife, for however long she would be considered his wife, was a smart, determined, brave woman who would find what she truly wanted in life.

Kane closed his eyes briefly, unable to picture Molly in any other role than his wife, teacher to the Cheyenne and granddaughter to the most cunning man this side of the Mississippi.

“She and I have no future. Destiny has intervened.”

Singing Bird leaned forward to take both of his hands in hers. “She is your destiny, Kane.”

Kane blinked, hearing his mother use his white name for the very first time in his life.

“You are my son, but you are also a man of honor. I know you have sacrificed much for us, but it is time for you to think of what you want. It is time for you to think about what this woman means to you.”

“I didn’t want to marry.”

“She wanted a man who would not turn her away. And neither of you is happy now. It is not too late. Search your heart, my son. See what I see. You love this woman. She is in your heart.”

“What if I can’t?”

Singing Bird turned away, folding her arms. Gone were the softly spoken wise words. Kane had angered her. “Then you are not the son I raised. You must learn to forgive. And the forgiving begins inside yourself.”

Kane stared at his mother’s profile, so proud, so strong. She had always been the one he’d turned to when he needed help. And she had always given him sound advice.

Then there was Bennett. His grandfather wouldn’t let him walk out the door today, without calling him ten kinds of fool.

“She loves you, Kane. She told me so.”

Kane had trouble believing anything his grandfather said lately, but for some reason, his words resonated deep in his soul.

She loves you.

Kane believed it to be true. Aside from Bennett’s pronouncement, he had witnessed the glow of love in Molly’s eyes. He had felt it in her touch. And he had heard it in the tone of her voice. Kane had denied this truth for a long time, not wanting it to be so.

His mother faced him once again. “Little Swan is gone. She will not return. You were not to blame for her death. But there is another woman, one who loves you. Are you so certain this woman will not need you? Are you so certain she will not face dangers alone? Are you so ready to throw away your happiness?”

Kane lifted Molly’s letter out of his shirt. He read it silently, hearing her say the words in his head, her voice soft and sweet. Kane read the anguish in her words, the heartfelt sincerity. He’d taken so much from her. He’d hurt her deeply time and again.

“Do you love your wife, my son?”

Kane nodded, without hesitation. He loved Molly. He had tried not to, but she was too strong a match for him. He had fallen in love with his renegade bride.

Kane ripped up her note, throwing the little pieces into the fire, the low burning embers swallowing them up. He rose and looked down at his mother. “I hope I’m not too late.”

“Go,” Singing Bird said. “A woman will wait if the man is worthy.”

Kane didn’t know if he was worthy of Molly’s love. But he had little time to waste. He had to find her. She’d already been gone two days and they’d been the lone liest two days of his life.

Molly faced Dr. Beckman as he confirmed what she’d already known. Molly was with child. Dr. Beckman beamed with the news, probably thinking Molly would also be joyous. And as she faced the truth of her pregnancy, she realized in that very moment she did feel truly happy. Not with the circumstances, but with the thought of having a child. Kane’s child.

Molly smiled, although perhaps a bit sadly.

“Not the news you had hoped for?” Dr. Beckman asked with genuine concern. Molly decided she liked the new young doctor who had arrived in town just a few months before she had. He had performed his examination gently and spoken with compassion, explaining to Molly that he believed her to be just barely pregnant, no more than a month or six weeks. Molly thought back to the night of the thunderstorm when she and Kane had made love for the first time under the wagon.

“I’m happy to be with child, Doctor, but…” And as Molly contemplated how to bring her situation to light, she paid close attention to her words. “But I’m afraid the news will not be taken well by my husband. You see,” she explained, deciding she had had enough of deception and untruths, “I am living at Mrs. Rose’s boardinghouse. My marriage is all but over.”

Dr. Beckman appeared shocked, though he tried overly hard to contain his expression. “I see.”

“It’s not common knowledge.” She peered up at him from her place on his examining table.

“You have my word that I will keep this to myself.”

“And I do not wish my husband to know of this child. At least, not yet. I will tell him only when the time is right.”

“Again, this examination is a private matter. No one will know the outcome.”

Then Dr. Beckman sighed, running a hand into his sandy blond hair. A handsome man with fair skin and light eyes, he seemed so different than Kane, in appearance and manner. But no man could compare to Kane Jackson in her mind or in her heart.

“I only hope I have no call to see any of the Jacksons again, but that might not be the case, since I seem to be the only physician in the territory.”

Molly thought that an odd statement. “And why is that?”

“Bennett Jackson nearly ruined my reputation. He assured me that my services were no longer needed, after I had expressly told him his pneumonia could kill him.”

“So, you mean to say he really was very sick?”

“Yes, when I examined him, he certainly was. But he dismissed my services shortly after that. I had no choice but to honor his wishes. Apparently he made a full recovery.”

“Yes, yes, he did,” Molly confirmed.

“But Mrs. Rose came in here this morning giving me quite an earful. She accused me of being an accomplice in his deception. ‘What deception?’ I asked. She explained how Bennett pretended to be dying, for whatever gain I don’t know. She didn’t elaborate. I swear to you, I had no knowledge of his ruse.”

“I believe you. Bennett duped many of us. He did have a reason, but he didn’t stop to realize how much pain he would cause the people who love him.” Molly put her head down, overwhelmed at all that had occurred these past few days.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up. You have so much to deal with right now.”

He helped Molly down from the examining table and faced her with a respectful smile. “I’m closing up for the evening, heading for a lonely supper. Would you care to join me for a meal at the café?”

Molly began to shake her head no but he continued on. “You need to keep your strength up, for one. And you need to get your mind on something else. We’re both new to this town. I wouldn’t mind making a new friend, would you?”

Molly smiled, her mood lifting a bit. And she welcomed the thought of a peaceful meal. “I could use a new friend. Yes, thank you. I would like to join you.”

“Wonderful. It’ll just take me a minute to lock up. Would you care to wait for me in the front room?”

Molly agreed and took a few moments to sit down to gather her thoughts. She had so much to consider, so much to think about, and Dr. Beckman’s gracious invitation to dinner would be the distraction she needed.

Just minutes later, Dr. Beckman walked in, wearing a suitcoat rather than his white doctor’s apron, making him appear much more youthful.

“Shall we go?” he asked. When she stood he offered her his arm.

They walked down the sidewalk, Dr. Beckman making light and pleasant conversation, helping to keep Molly from thinking of her very uncertain future.

Bennett and Kane Jackson stood outside Mrs. Rose’s boardinghouse, the woman refusing to allow them entrance inside.

“Ah, come on, Penny. We need to talk,” Bennett said.

She stood on the porch, her lips pursed, her stance unyielding. With arms folded around her middle, she shook her head. “I’m not ready to speak with you, Bennett. You have done damage again with your unthinking maneuvering. You have lied to me and deceived people who have come to care for you. You did this with no thought to the outcome to others. You’re ruthless and I’m not sure I want that kind of man.”

Kane stepped up. He’d heard enough. As far as he was concerned, his grandfather was on his own. He had his own fences to mend. “Is Molly here?”

Mrs. Rose turned her glaring gaze on him. “Maybe she is and maybe she isn’t.”

Kane gritted his teeth. He supposed he deserved her ire as well, but he had to find Molly. “Please, Penelope. I need to speak with her.”

Mrs. Rose flinched. Kane had never spoken to her as a friend. He’d never used her first name when addressing her. “Why, so you can deliver more bad news to her?”

“No. Because I love her. I want to bring her back home.”

She gasped and staggered back a step, her expression softening. “How can I believe you?”

“Believe him, Penny,” Bennett said. “He’s come to his senses. Finally.” Bennett put his arm around Kane’s shoulder. “My grandson realizes what he almost lost—a good woman who loves him. Tell him where she is, so that someone around here can find happiness.”

Mrs. Rose stood silent a moment, studying Kane, making up her mind. “If you hurt her again—”

“I won’t.”

“He won’t,” Bennett said at the same time.

Mrs. Rose came down the steps and looked Kane squarely in the eyes. “She’s not here. She went into town, but I’m not at liberty to say where. Be quick. She’s contemplating leaving Bountiful.”

Kane grabbed Penelope, hugging her tight. “Thank you,” he said. He kissed her cheek. “You won’t be sorry.”

Mrs. Rose smiled and for the first time, Kane noticed the warmth and goodness in her, qualities that would make her a good match for his cantankerous grandfather.

She looked deeply into his eyes. “I know.”

Kane glanced quickly at his grandfather. “My grandfather loves you, Penelope. I can see why. I think he realizes what he almost lost as well. He’s come to his senses. Give him a second chance.”

Bennett stepped up to take Penelope’s hands. “Yes, I’ve come to my senses. But you see, I wasn’t wrong about Molly and Kane, they—”

Kane grabbed his arm. “Stop while you’re ahead, Grandfather.”

Bennett smiled at Penelope Rose and nodded.

Kane left them holding hands and climbing up the steps of the boardinghouse.

He dashed down the street, not certain where Molly had gone. He passed the schoolhouse, peering inside but at this hour the students and teacher had already gone. And as he walked farther down into the center of town, Kane spotted something that halted him right in place. His search over, he’d found his wife.

Walking arm in arm with young Dr. Beckman.

Emotions seared into his gut, cutting him like a knife. Seeing Molly with another man as she strolled leisurely down the street tore down all his defenses. He couldn’t possibly doubt his love for her now, not when he witnessed firsthand what life would be like without her. Jealousy played a part and Kane couldn’t recall a time when he’d ever been jealous.

Except now.

He had more than one quarrel with Dr. Beckman. And he’d be damned to stand here and watch the man court his woman.

“Molly!” he called out from the center of the street, much like a man would call out a gunslinger.

Both heads turned in his direction. Molly appeared shocked and Dr. Beckman steadied her with an arm around her shoulder.

Kane took long strides to meet up with her. He glared at the doctor. “Get your hands off my wife.”

Dr. Beckman immediately complied, removing his arm from Molly’s shoulder.

“Kane, what is it?”

“What are you doing with him?” Kane asked, his anger strong. Though he knew he should be repentant, he needed to know why the two of them were together.

Molly stood silent.

Dr. Beckman glanced at her as if they had some secret between them. Kane didn’t like any of it.

“Well?”

“Molly agreed to have dinner with me, that’s all.”

Kane stared at Molly, guilt written all over her face.

“He’s a friend, Kane.”

Kane glared once again at the doctor. “A friend? Does a friend lie about a man’s health? Does a friend, who has taken an oath to heal the sick, deceive instead? What manner of friend are you? You told me my grandfather was dying.”

“He was dying. When I attended to your grandfather, he had a severe case of pneumonia. Most men his age don’t come through. When I spoke with you, I believed with all my heart that Bennett Jackson wasn’t long for this earth. But he fooled us all, didn’t he?”

Kane narrowed his eyes at the doctor.

Dr. Beckman went on, “He dismissed me from service shortly after the diagnosis—against my wishes, I might add. I had no choice in the matter.”

“It’s true, Kane,” Molly said, adding, “Dr. Beckman wasn’t a part of your grandfather’s plan.”

It irked Kane that Molly would take the doctor’s side, but Kane had a more important issue to discuss with his wife. He faced Molly, looking directly into her wide green eyes. “I need to speak with you.”

“Now?”

He nodded. “It can’t wait.”

She glanced at Dr. Beckman. “Will you excuse me?”

He took a long look at Kane then nodded to Molly. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Kane wanted to bloody the man’s nose. It was a damn good thing he bid Molly a quick—and if Kane had anything to do about it, final—farewell, or he might just have indulged in that small bit of violence.

“What did you want to speak with me about?”

“I want you to come home.”

Stunned, Molly blinked.

He took hold of her hands and his blood rushed immediately from the soft familiar contact. “I need to speak with you privately.”

“No, Kane. We’ve said everything there is to say.”

“There’s more I have to say.”

“I…don’t…know,” she said in a tone that gave him hope. “It was very hard for me to leave the Bar J. I don’t think I can go back.”

“Then will you hear me out here?”

Molly glanced around. They stood on the sidewalk, ten yards from the Bounty Café as patrons passed them by. Strong scents flavored the air of dishes seasoned with onions and garlic and herbs. “Here?”

“Not here, exactly.” And then he thought of the perfect place. “Walk with me to the church grounds. We can talk there privately.”

Molly agreed and Kane led her to the edge of town where a chapel stood, its tall steeple lifting up to the setting sun. He found a bench on the south side of the building. Kane waited until Molly found a seat, then he sat down beside her, their legs brushing.

Kane sat quietly for a time, trying to find a way to tell Molly what was in heart. He’d never spoken of these things before. Opening up to his wife shouldn’t be so difficult, but the outcome of her decision weighed heavily on his mind.

He hadn’t wanted a wife, much less one as feisty as Molly McGuire. He hadn’t wanted a marriage, either. He’d had it all once before and never thought he’d want it again. But he did. He wanted a life with Molly beside him. And the only way he knew to persuade her would be to speak honestly, trusting in Molly to understand.

Kane braced himself. He spoke quietly, staring out onto the church grounds. “Little Swan was with child when she was murdered,” he began, speaking a truth that he had held inside his injured heart for years. “I never knew pain like that before. I never knew a man could hurt so damn bad. It was like a knife had sliced into my chest, the blade gutting out my heart. But the hollowness soon filled with bitter rage for what was done—for the injustice. My wife and child were dead. I went after their killer and I avenged their deaths. I vowed to never love again. To never have another child. I held myself responsible and didn’t think I could take another loss. I didn’t think I could stand that pain again.”

“Oh, Kane. I’m so sorry,” Molly said, as twin tears trickled down her cheeks. She put her head down and nodded with anguished understanding. “How horrible for you to lose a wife and child at the same time.”

Kane turned fully toward her, lifting her face with both hands and tilting her head to stare deeply into her eyes. “But there’s a worse kind of pain, Molly. There’s the pain that goes along with foolishly losing someone you love.”

Molly blinked, her sad eyes growing wide and alert.

“I love you, Molly.”

He smiled.

And Molly cast him a tentative smile. “You do?”

“Yes, I do. Very much. It’s taken my grandfather’s dying ploy, my mother’s wise words and a search deep in my heart to figure it out. I’m stubborn, but not stupid. I realize now how much you mean to me. I can only hope I haven’t hurt you too badly. I can only hope you can forgive me.”

Kane kissed her gently on the lips, her soft perfect mouth giving back warmth and tenderness. “I want you to come home. Come back to the Bar J. Be my wife. Have my children.”

“You want children?” Molly asked, surprised.

Kane had given her no reason to believe otherwise. He’d gone to great lengths not to create a child with her. But now, it’s what he wanted more than anything.

“Yes, with you. I want us to fill the ranch with children. It kills me to think how happy this will make my grandfather after what he’s done, but I don’t care. All I know is that I don’t want to live at the Bar J without you.”

Kane realized how much he loved this woman. And the thought of having Molly’s little red-haired children made him smile. If nothing else, a houseful of children would settle his renegade bride down. Maybe she wouldn’t get herself into too much trouble that way. Maybe she wouldn’t run off on a whim anymore. Kane, too, would know a world of peace.

“When?” Molly asked, her voice squeaky soft. “When do you want children?”

Kane’s lips turned upward, realizing he was finally able to put the past behind him, finally able to look forward to a future with Molly. “The sooner the better, Little Bird.”

“Oh, Kane!” A sweet joyous expression stole over Molly’s face. She jumped into his arms with happy tears flowing. “I love you too, Kane Jackson. Are you sure you want children right away?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Kane answered, with no doubt in his mind.

“That’s good, because you’re going to be a father next spring.”

Stunned, Kane hadn’t thought it possible. He blinked, his mind working fast recalling the times he had not been overly careful with Molly. Back then, he had prayed that they would be spared the conception of a child, but now, well, he thanked God for the precious gift. He grinned, full out, leaving no room for doubt. “I am?”

“Yes. Our baby will be born during the Moon When the Horses Get Fat.”

Kane chuckled. Molly was a wonderful teacher, but apparently she’d learned something of the Cheyenne as well. Kane laid a hand on Molly’s stomach. “The horses won’t be the only ones getting fat.”

Molly laughed, a cheerful sound that brought him great joy. “It’s a good thing I’m so happy now, or I’d make you pay dearly for that comment.”

Kane kissed her again. “You’ll grow fat with our child, but I have no doubt you’ll be even more beautiful than you are right now.”

Kane took her hand and squeezed gently. “I miss you, Molly. Will you move back to the Bar J?”

Molly nodded, her green eyes bright with love. “Yes, the Bar J is my home. It’s where I’ll teach the children, both ours and the Cheyenne. It’s where I’ll keep Bennett in line and Charlie out of trouble.”

“And what of me, your husband?”

Molly grinned. “It’s where I’ll make baby after baby with you, Kane.”

Kane stood and reached for Molly. But instead of allowing her to rise on her own, he lifted her up, kissing her gently and declaring his love for her once again. He carried her away from the church grounds.

Molly didn’t protest. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck, telling him with unspoken words she would go anywhere with him. “Where are we going?”

Kane grinned. “You and I deserve a ‘real’ honeymoon, sweetheart. We’re taking a room at the hotel. We’ll have all the privacy we need to get reacquainted. I’m sending word to Bennett not to expect us home anytime soon.”

“Oh, Kane, I missed you so,” Molly said on a deep sigh.

Kane tightened his hold on his pregnant wife. “I have one last bargain for you, Little Bird.”

“And what would that be?” Molly asked, her gaze holding his.

“That we’ll never be apart again.”

“Hmm, I think I like the sound of that.” Molly’s face lit with love and adoration.

Kane couldn’t believe how lucky he was to be given this second chance in life. He loved Molly with his whole heart. He didn’t want to face another day without her.

“Shall we shake on it?” Molly put out her hand.

Kane took her hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand then laced his fingers with hers. “I have a better way to seal our fate.”

“And how is that, my love?”

“Three days up in that hotel room might just settle the matter.”

Molly snuggled closer into his arms. “Sounds like a bargain made in heaven.”

Kane could only smile at his new, young wife. He would keep his promise to her. They would never part again.

Once and for all, his renegade wife was coming home.