Renegade Wife

chapter Seventeen


Molly waited for Charlie at the bunkhouse, her heart heavy with despair. She’d always known this day would come, but she hadn’t anticipated the way in which her bargain with Kane would finally be met.

No, how could one possibly guess that a man would fake an illness and pretend to be dying? Molly understood Bennett’s motives, but when he applied this ruse he had no way of knowing how much destruction it would cause.

He had no way of knowing that while Kane had agreed to marry a woman brought here by deception, he never had any intention to remain married, much less create a child.

But if Molly’s suspicions were right, then she and Kane had indeed created a child. She’d been having stomach upsets for weeks now and her monthlies were late. The only way she’d know for sure would be to see a doctor, which was exactly what Molly planned on doing. She had to leave the Bar J and make a new life for herself. Her bargain with Kane was over.

I told you over and over, I didn’t want a wife and I certainly don’t want a child.

Kane’s words drummed in her head, pounding away until she couldn’t think anymore. All she could do was feel. And Molly did feel. She felt cold inside. She felt betrayed by circumstances. And she felt sad for the loss of the life she and Kane might have shared. She hated the deception. Both Bennett’s and the ruse she and Kane had entered into. As far as she was concerned, all of them were at fault. And one tiny little infant would suffer the most. For that, Molly was truly sorry. If she was with child, Molly thought, placing a hand over her belly, then she had to do what’s best for them all and that included explaining things to Charlie. He had a right to know the truth about Molly’s marriage to Kane.

And she prayed that Charlie wouldn’t blame himself.

“Hey, sis.” Charlie rounded the corner of the bunkhouse, surprising her. She hadn’t seen him coming, but she also couldn’t get over the change in him. He was tall and lean, wearing leather chaps and a black Stetson, and his once youthful face was marked by a day-old beard, which said he’d grown up, through and through. Sometimes the transition from boy to man stunned her. Sometimes, like today, she realized how far both of them had come from their days of poverty in St. Louis.

Tears she couldn’t control trickled down her cheeks.

“Hey, what’s wrong, Molly?” Charlie’s face contorted with confusion—that look a man gets when he doesn’t understand, and more so, when he doesn’t want to understand what’s in a woman’s head. Molly was only sorry that she had to put him through this, but he deserved to know the whole truth. And she couldn’t put it off another day.

“I’m leaving the Bar J.”

Charlie’s eyebrows lifted nearly to the brim of his hat. “What?”

Molly sat down on a bench against the back wall of the bunkhouse, hoping she’d be out of view from everyone else on the ranch. “Sit down, Charlie. I have a long story to tell you.”

Charlie sat and listened and sometimes he questioned her, but for the most part, he gave her his support. And when the whole complicated tale was out, Charlie took her hand. “None of this would have happened if I hadn’t run away. You wouldn’t have had to find a way to chase me to Texas. You wouldn’t have had to marry Kane and—”

“I’m not sorry I came to Texas. I like it here, Charlie. I can’t imagine being in the city anymore. Here, there are opportunities and wide open spaces and well, where else can you rise in the morning and bed down at night smelling the wonderful scent of cow dung?”

That put a smile on Charlie’s lips. “You’re always trying to make me feel better.”

“I mean it, Charlie. As for Kane, I love him. And I wouldn’t trade my time being married to him for anything under the sun. But he doesn’t feel the same way. He never bargained for a wife. And Charlie, there’s more. I—” Molly began, not knowing just how to tell her brother that he might be an uncle soon. “I think I’m going to have a baby.”

“A baby?” Charlie swallowed and stared at her belly.

“Yes, but Kane never wanted a child. He’s made that abundantly clear.”

“You’re not going to tell him?” Charlie asked.

“No. I know how he feels. I don’t want him saddled with me out of some sense of obligation. If Bennett finds out, he’ll needle Kane into staying married to me. But I don’t want Kane that way.” She shook her head. “So you see, I have to leave the ranch. I can get a job in town. I’m going to see if there’s a position open for a schoolteacher. And if not in Bountiful then somewhere else. But first I have to see Dr. Beckman.”

Charlie nodded. “Sis, I’m not running away again. We’re going to do this together. You and me and if there is a little one, I’m going to help you. We’re family and we’re sticking together from now on.”

“Oh, Charlie,” Molly cried, hugging her brother tight. “Thank you. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I like working on the Bar J, sis. But not without you here. Besides, I wouldn’t be able to keep your secret if I stayed on. It’s better if we both left.”

“Listen, Charlie, please don’t quit your job yet. Stay on for a while. I want to see the doctor first and then I’ll send word to you. I need some time to myself.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“I’m very sure,” she said sending him a reassuring smile. “I’m going up to pack. I’ll leave first thing in the morning. I suppose I’ll have to say goodbye to Kane. And Bennett.” Molly braced herself, wishing she could just disappear instead of facing Kane. The farewell wouldn’t come easy, her heart already aching at the notion. She loved Kane and she might be carrying his child—a child who would never know the love of a father. Both Molly and Charlie had been deprived of a father’s love, her own father choosing to abandon his family when the children were too young to remember him. Molly would see to it that her child would be surrounded by love despite not having Kane in its life. But she felt terrible to put her brother in the middle of all this. He’d been happy at the ranch, enjoying the work and finally being accepted by men he greatly admired.

She rose and hugged her brother one last time. “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”

Charlie grinned. “I was just gonna say the same thing. We will be fine, sis.”

Molly guarded her heart the best she could and faced the fact that soon she would have to say farewell to two men in her life she had come to love.

Molly entered the house ready to take the stairs when she noticed Bennett slumped down on the parlor chair, his face ashen. This time she doubted his pretense. Bennett appeared truly shaken. Molly walked into the room quietly and took a seat next to him on the sofa.

“Bennett,” she began softly. “I know your reasons for doing what you did and I don’t blame you entirely. But now I must say goodbye. I’m leaving in the morning. My marriage to Kane…was a mistake.”

“Molly, dear girl,” he said, taking her hand. “I never meant any harm. I only wanted what was best for my grandson.”

“You lied to him and deceived us both,” she said quietly. “But I’m glad you’re not dying. I have grown fond of you and wish you well. You and Mrs. Rose will have a good life together.”

He waved that notion off. “Penny isn’t speaking to me.”

“She’s angry?”

“Chewed my ear off when Kane explained everything. How was I to know your marriage was temporary? He spoke of the bargain he made with you, and I guess I underestimated my grandson’s stupidity.”

Molly smiled. “What?”

“Even though I deceived you into coming to Bountiful, once you married Kane, I believed you had fallen in love with each other. I was feeling mighty proud of myself for the union.”

Molly squeezed his hand. “You were half right. I love Kane, but today he made his wishes clear, didn’t he? He doesn’t want the marriage or a future with me. He never did.”

“Stupid, I say.”

Molly agreed, but Kane had never deceived her in that regard. She always knew that he wouldn’t abide the marriage. “Maybe, but I can’t change his wishes. I’m leaving the Bar J. There’s no reason to stay any longer. I’m sure Kane will—” Molly began but had trouble even saying the words “—I’m sure he’ll find a way to dissolve our marriage.”

Bennett leaned forward and put his face in his hands, shaking his head. “I wish you would stay.”

“I…can’t.”

“I’m sorry, Molly. If I could undo any of this, I would. I’m so sorry.”

Molly believed Bennett’s remorse and regret, but that didn’t change anything. “I will always be grateful for your assistance in helping me locate my brother. And for making me feel welcome in your home.” Her eyes burned with unshed tears. “Goodbye, Grandfather.” She kissed his cheek then dashed out of the room.

Kane stood outside his bedroom door, hesitant, wondering what to say to Molly. He thought to turn away and leave her be for a while, to let her settle down. He figured she’d give him a good piece of her mind and Kane didn’t fear the confrontation, he just didn’t know how to make her understand.

Tell her the truth.

The voice in Kane’s head plagued him. Kane had valid reasons to let Molly go. She deserved more from a man than he could give. But he had held back the one reason that would surely make Molly see his position differently.

Kane didn’t know if he was ready to admit his deepest failure to her. It had tortured him for years, the darkness inside leading him to a life of revenge.

When he heard Molly’s sob from the other side of the door, he didn’t bother knocking. He opened the door wide and entered. She stood over the bed, folding clothes into her valise, tears dripping down her face.

Kane shouldn’t have been shocked to see her packing, yet the fact remained, the sight left him numb. “Ah, Little Bird.”

Molly lifted her eyes to him, her face stained with tears. She wiped them away and held her head high. “Please, don’t call me that.”

Sharp memories entered his mind of all the times he had used that affectionate name—when they made love, when their bodies joined so perfectly, when she helped ease his desire with tutored hands. It pained him to abide Molly’s wishes, but he realized that he no longer had the right to speak to her in that way. “You don’t have to leave.”

Molly shook her head and continued with her task. “I do, Kane. I have to leave. First thing in the morning, I’ll be gone.”

“You can stay, you know. You can live here.”

But as Kane said the words, he knew what he proposed wouldn’t work. He knew that with Molly around, he wouldn’t be able to think, much less get his life back to the way it was before she arrived.

She cast him a sad smile. “You know that isn’t possible.”

A deep anguished sigh escaped at the notion of letting Molly go. “You don’t have to leave so soon.”

Molly snapped her valise closed. “There’s no reason to stay any longer. We both have what we want.”

The bitterness in her voice stung. He’d never heard Molly use that tone. “Where will you go?”

“Bountiful. I’m going to look for a teaching position.”

“What of the Cheyenne?” Kane asked unfairly.

Tears flowed down Molly’s cheeks, but she quickly wiped them away. “I’ve written a letter to the children.” Molly walked over to the dresser and lifted a piece of paper. She hugged the parchment to her chest before approaching Kane. “I would hope you could read this to them. It’s somewhat of an explanation they might understand.”

Kane brushed his hand over Molly’s to receive the paper, the contact perhaps the last he would have with her. On instinct, he reached out and took her hand. “Molly,” he breathed out, a hot, raw pain searing his heart.

“I’ll be fine, Kane.” She stared into his eyes for a moment then slipped her hand from his.

Kane dropped his arms to his side. “I’ll take you into town.”

“No need. Charlie’s offered to drive me.”

Kane closed his eyes briefly, realizing that he might never see this woman again, realizing that Molly would leave, perhaps to find fulfillment and happiness in the arms of another man.

Kane snapped his eyes open, gazing at her one last time. He took in her tawny red curls, the way the hair flowed over her shoulders and touched the very tips of her breasts. Her face, soft and sweet and stained with tears, looked beautiful as ever. He gazed one last time at her petite form, slight enough that a strong breeze might blow her over, yet she stood firm, all bravado and courage, perusing him in the same way.

“I would guess that you would seek legal counsel for the…” Molly said, taking a swallow.

“There’s time for that, Molly.”

“No, I would prefer you do that immediately.”

Stung again, Kane got the impression Molly couldn’t wait to dissolve their marriage. She wanted to get on with her life. Determined and intelligent, Molly would make her way in this life. He had no doubt. But he hadn’t bargained for the way letting her go made him feel. Empty. Lost. Desolate.

He asked himself once again if this was for the best.

And Kane had come to the same conclusion.

He would free his little bird and watch her fly away.

“I want to thank you for helping me find Charlie. You did everything in your power to hold up your end of the bargain,” she said softly, “and I will never forget how you saved me, over and over. I will never forget…you.”

Molly reached up and kissed his lips, taking him clearly by surprise. Her soft, sweet scent invaded his senses. He kissed her back fully, sweeping his tongue in her mouth, mating with her this way for the very last time. He held her tight, his arms reaching out and wrapping around her tiny waist, pulling her up to his body, relishing the way she fit him, so perfectly. He held her a long time, keeping her tight against him, but it was Molly who broke away first, shaking her head, tears streaming down her face. “Goodbye, Kane.”

“Molly,” was all he could say as he stared at her once more, before turning and walking out the door.

Molly stood on Mrs. Rose’s boardinghouse steps, much as she had the first day, when Kane had escorted her here. Little did she know then that her life would take such a drastic turn. Little did she know that she would come to love living in Bountiful, the town and its surroundings feeling more welcoming than her home in St. Louis. Little did she know she would fall in love with an obstinate rancher, a wily landowner and a small tribe of Cheyenne children. But she had and now all she could do was to try to put the shattered pieces of her life together and start fresh.

She knocked on Mrs. Rose’s door.

When she opened the door, the older woman gasped in surprise and hurriedly ushered Molly inside. “Oh, you poor dear girl. I told you that those Jacksons couldn’t be trusted. And now, here you are, with your valise in hand? Heavens, you’re not planning on leaving town, are you? Why, I’d never forgive myself for not catching on. Why, if you leave, I’ll never marry that old coot, Bennett Jackson. He and his grandson have caused you more than enough grief.”

Even Penelope’s ranting didn’t bother her. In truth, Molly welcomed the familiarity. She welcomed the talkative woman with the kind heart and wished to call her a friend.

“I’m not leaving Bountiful, but I have left the Bar J. And Kane. I left my husband,” Molly admitted, her head downcast.

Mrs. Rose sighed, shaking her head. “Come, dear girl. Sit down in the kitchen. I’ll make you a pot of tea. Calms the nerves, you know.” And Molly followed her into the kitchen.

She watched Penelope Rose shuffle around her kitchen, preparing hot water for the tea. Even though Bennett claimed Penelope wasn’t speaking to him, Molly had no doubt that the two belonged together. They’d been sweethearts years prior and she thought it endearing that after all these years, they’d found each other again.

Penelope looked twenty years younger these days, wearing more stylish clothes and fixing her hair differently, but Molly noted the twinkle in her eyes, and the shining glow on her face.

That, more than her new clothes, spoke of the love she had for Bennett.

Mrs. Rose sat down to face her, the tea forgotten for now. “Now, tell me, was it all Bennett’s doing? Did he cause your heartache?”

“Well, yes and no,” Molly began. “You see, I was desperate to find Charlie. And, well, Bennett had the same kind of desperation. He wanted his grandson married and producing heirs for the Bar J. I don’t fault Bennett too much. He had valid reasons, but he did deceive me.”

“And me, too,” Penelope said, reaching out to grasp Molly’s hand. “Heavens, Bennett lied to us all. I, uh, I hope you know I had no part in this. When I first came to visit him at the Bar J, well, there were sparks, lots of them between us. But we all knew he’d been sick and there was little hope of his recovery. I thought I might ease his last days. And then, one day, he showed up on my doorstep. And he began courting me,” Mrs. Rose went on, a little chuckle escaping. “Like we were your age, Molly. He brought me flowers and confessed some things to me. He said he’d been very ill and he wasn’t sure if he’d made a complete recovery, but just in case, he didn’t want to give you or Kane false hope. So we kept our visits secret. We would picnic, and take long afternoon strolls. I swear, on my late husband’s grave, I had no idea that he was sneaking out of his room, while all of you thought he was taking his last breath.”

“I believe you. Bennett is quite clever when he wants something. And I guess he wanted for Kane and I to believe he was dying, but he wanted you, as well. And he found a way to get both. Until he got caught.”

Mrs. Rose made an unladylike sound. “Hmmmph!”

“But Kane and I were deceiving him as well. I know you’ve heard about our bargain. Kane was to help me find Charlie, if I stayed married to him until Bennett passed on. Kane never wanted a wife or a marriage.” Molly held back tears, but her voice shook anyway. “I, uh, I probably should have never married him.”

“Nonsense, child. You did the right thing.”

Molly snapped her head up. “But you never liked Kane. And you surely didn’t trust him. You warned me about him.”

“Yes, but I’d never seen the way you looked at him, especially after you were married. Kane made you happy, Molly.”

“Yes.” And then Molly added, “It’s that way for you, too, Penelope. Bennett makes you happy.”

She waved her hand as if shooing the thought away. “I’m not sure what I’ll do about him.”

“You’re going to marry him. You love him.”

Mrs. Rose stood to pour the hot tea. She brought over two lovely hand-painted china cups, decorated with red roses. She set one down in front of Molly then brought over a dish of fresh biscuits with honey. “Maybe, but I’m going to let him stew a bit, first. He’s got to learn not to meddle in others’ lives.”

Molly thought that sounded extremely funny coming from Mrs. Rose, the master of all gossip, but she remained silent.

Molly sipped her tea and actually felt up to eating a biscuit. Speaking with another woman really did help. Molly had been alone, without much female companionship for so very long. She sat and enjoyed a moment of peace, nibbling on the wonderful fare and listening to Mrs. Rose.

“I want you to know I’m glad you came here, Molly. You have a home here, for as long as you like. But tell me, what are your plans?”

Molly finished her biscuit, sipped the tea, then leaned back in her chair. “I hope to find employment as a schoolteacher. If not here in Bountiful then somewhere nearby. There’s bound to be a town in need, or even a landowner who might want private instruction for their children. I’ll do just about anything.”

Mrs. Rose pouted, her face becoming tight. “Did Kane throw you out?”

“No! Nothing like that. In fact, he said I could stay.” Molly shook her head. “But I can’t live with him in that house and not live with him.” Molly blushed full out, heat climbing up her neck. “If you know what I mean.”

“Lord, dear girl, it’s been ages. But I do know what you mean. You love that man, don’t you?”

Molly nodded, her heart shredding into small pieces. “With all my heart.”

“Bennett called him a fool and now I know why.”

“Kane never lied to me, Penelope. He had said from the start he didn’t want a marriage or a wife. We’d only planned on staying married until Bennett passed away, but looks like that man’s going to live a long time.”

Penelope twisted her lips. “Only the good die young.”

“You don’t mean that!”

Then the older woman smiled. “No, I’m angry with him, but I’m glad he’s healthy.”

“Even after all he’s put us through, I’m glad, too. He’s a wonderful man in many regards, Penelope.”

Mrs. Rose acquiesced and Molly felt a bit better about this situation. No sense any more people getting hurt because of all the lies and deception. “As far as you’re concerned if you don’t find a teaching position, then I’d like you to consider becoming my partner, here at the boardinghouse. Bennett wants me to sell it, but I just can’t right now. It’s been my life for so long. I would love to turn it over to you.”

Molly bounded up from the chair and hugged Mrs. Rose around the neck, surprising the woman…and herself. “Thank you. That’s the kindest offer I’ve ever received. And after I see…” Molly stopped herself from divulging too much about her appointment with Dr. Beckman. She had hoped to get an appointment immediately, but his assistant said he was visiting family and would return the day after tomorrow. “After I see about a teaching position, I’ll let you know.”

Molly wanted to stay in Bountiful to be close to her brother, but she had Kane to worry about. She’d pressed him to dissolve the marriage quickly, because if she did indeed carry his child, she wanted no ties to him. She had accepted the fact that she would raise her child alone, with the help of Charlie and perhaps her friend, Penelope.

Either way, Molly had no intention of telling Kane about the child. But Bennett on the other hand, might have something to say about it, and she wondered how on earth she could keep the truth from him. She wouldn’t ask Penelope Rose to lie for her.

Molly placed her hand on her belly and prayed for guidance. Deep down, she believed that staying on in Bountiful wouldn’t be the wisest of decisions. But she wondered if it came right down to it would she have the heart to leave?