Renegade Wife

chapter Fifteen


“Roper McCall?” Molly’s breath caught in her throat as she gazed into Bennett’s gleaming eyes. “My brother Charlie is—”

But Molly didn’t finish her sentence, because Bennett had taken a sweeping step back.

Charlie appeared in the doorway.

“Hello, sis.” He smiled that same impish smile that Molly remembered from their childhood. But Charlie had grown up in the year since she’d seen him. Taller, broader, his dark hair only now highlighted with the auburn tones they’d been born with, Charlie no longer looked like the tintype Molly had been toting around all of west Texas. No, he was a man—well, nearly a man. No wonder he hadn’t been recognized. With his grown-up appearance and his name changed to Roper McCall, it all made sense now why she hadn’t been able to locate him.

“Charlie,” she breathed out, awed and a little bit stunned. She fell into his arms as tears swelled in her eyes. “I can’t believe it’s you! I can’t believe you’re here!”

“I know, sis,” he said apologetically. “I’m sorry, Molly. Truly sorry.”

Molly sobbed now, full out. She cried with both joy and sorrow. She cried for the little boy who’d grown up into such a good-looking man. She cried with relief at having him here, safe and sound in her arms. She cried for the heartache they would both endure when she explained about their mama’s death. And she cried deep inside, for one end of Kane’s bargain with her was met. He had helped to find her brother. And they were now one step closer to parting.

But Molly wouldn’t allow that last thought to mar her joy. Instead, she relished the good news that she was finally reunited with her brother. She broke their tight embrace to look at him, wiping her tears away. “My goodness, Charlie. You’ve grown.”

Charlie raked a hand over his unshaven face. “Some.” And then he took a good long look at her. “You’re married now. And you look happy. Mr. Jackson has filled me in on what you’ve been doing. You came here as a mail-order bride?”

Molly smiled, too happy at the moment to admonish Charlie for what he’d put her through. “Yes, I came out west to marry and to search for you. There are things I must tell you, Charlie.”

Bennett stepped up then, to intervene. “Why don’t you both get comfortable in the parlor? You two can speak in private. Kane and I will see you later on.”

Molly agreed and, arm in arm, she guided Charlie to the parlor. She took a seat on the wing chair, while Charlie sat down on the sofa.

Lupe rushed in, bringing a pitcher of lemonade and a tray of fresh fruit. Molly quickly made introductions, Lupe seeming genuinely happy to meet Charlie. “But he is not a boy,” Lupe said easily.

Molly studied Charlie’s face. “I know. I’m quite surprised myself.”

Lupe nodded. “It is good that you are together again,” she said before leaving the room.

“What things, Molly? What did you have to tell me?” Charlie asked.

Molly wanted answers from Charlie, before she would have to deal with all of his questions. “You’ve been on a cattle drive all this time?”

“Well, most. I traveled a few months before landing a job on the Shannon ranch. Before I knew it, I was herding cattle to Kansas.”

“Why did you change your name?”

Heat rose up his cheeks and he shrugged with embarrassment. “It was a stupid thing, I suppose. I was so green when I arrived, that I thought I needed to prove myself and that name seemed to fit out here. But it’s over now. I took my real name when I got back.”

“So, you’re known as Charlie McGuire again?”

He nodded, the green in his eyes, almost an identical match to Molly’s, flickered with shame.

“I tried to find you,” Molly said, sternly. “I did everything I knew to do until I just ran out of ideas. Bennett and my husband, well, they’ve been wonderful about helping me.”

Again, Charlie appeared repentant. “I shouldn’t have run off like that. I meant to make some real money and come back for you. I wrote letter after letter, Molly.”

“Mama and I only received one.”

Charlie put his head down. “I know about Mama dying. I’m sorry. So sorry I wasn’t there.”

“How did you find out about her?” Molly asked, finding the pieces of this puzzle a bit too confusing. Her heart ached just speaking of her mama’s death. Sharing this news with Charlie brought it all back so vividly.

“I started getting worried while I was out on the trail. Afraid you wouldn’t be able to contact me, so I wired home. When I didn’t get a response, I sent another wire to Mrs. Wiley. I figured she would know how to contact you.”

Mrs. Wiley was their mama’s one trusted friend. She lived across town, married to a banker, but she would always find time to visit her childhood friend. Mrs. Wiley had helped Molly with the burial arrangements. She’d also offered Molly a home while she was deciding what to do, but Molly had already made up her mind to come out west to find Charlie. She had no home and no ties any longer in St. Louis. “So Mrs. Wiley told you in a wire?”

Tears stung Charlie’s eyes and he nodded. “I found out just one month ago. But Mama had already been gone months before that.”

“Oh, Charlie.” Molly rushed to his side and put an arm around his shoulder.

He lifted his head to look into her eyes. “You don’t know how glad I was to come back from the trail drive to find out you’re living here. I almost couldn’t believe it. I was going to set out to find you myself.”

Molly took his hand. “There’s no need for that now. I’m here and we’ll never be separated again. Mama would want it that way.”

Charlie nodded. “I want it that way, too.”

Molly smiled. It’s about all she’d asked for when coming west—to reunite with Charlie and be a family once again. But Molly wanted more now. So much more, yet she feared the day when she would lose Bennett, the man she had come to think of as Grandfather, and in turn lose Kane, the husband whom she had come to love.

“There’s more to tell, Charlie, but it can wait.” Molly debated about telling Charlie the terms of her “marriage vows” to Kane, not wanting to disparage her husband in her brother’s eyes. She would wait for the right time to explain to Charlie those circumstances. Right now, Molly just wanted to look her fill at her nearly grown younger brother. “I still can’t believe you’re here. Tell me that you’re home now, for good.”

Charlie shook his head and laughed derisively, the familiar sound bringing back memories of their youth in St. Louis when Charlie had gotten in a pickle of some sort. “I wish. I haven’t got a home. Or a job anymore. Seems, uh, Parker Shannon fired me the minute I stepped foot on his land. Not because of anything I did on the trail. The trail boss said I did real good for a greenhorn, but uh—”

“It’s because of his daughter, isn’t it?”

“You know about Lacey?”

Molly nodded, recalling how she learned of Lacey’s fascination with Roper McCall at the mercantile that alerted her to Charlie’s whereabouts. “It’s a good thing that rumors fly faster than a bumblebee in Bountiful, because your name came up along with Miss Lacey Shannon’s one day. Or at least, Roper McCall’s name came up.”

“Shannon is real nice, Molly. But her pa’s dead set against me or anybody else seeing her.”

“She cares for you, so he fired you?”

“That’s about right. What kind of man courts a woman when he’s got no home and no job?”

“You have a home and a job now, if you want one,” Kane announced.

Molly and Charlie both turned their heads toward the parlor doorway. Kane stood with his shoulder braced casually against the doorjamb, but there was nothing casual in the look in his eyes. He was dead serious, and Molly wanted to grab him around the neck and hug him tight.

“Kane,” she breathed out.

Charlie stood.

Kane walked over to Charlie. “I’m Kane Jackson.”

“Charlie McGuire.” The two men shook hands.

Molly rose from the sofa as well to offer a more proper introduction. “Charlie, I’d like you to meet my husband. And Kane, this is… Charlie, my brother.”

Both men’s eyes twinkled and they grinned at each other, most likely laughing at Molly’s expense, but she didn’t care. She was just too thrilled to worry about sounding silly.

“I’m serious about the offer, Charlie,” Kane went on. “I’m shorthanded here and I know Molly would like to have you close by since we’ve spent a good deal of time looking for you.”

“I appreciate that. And I’ll take you up on your offer. I’m still green, as the boys say, but I learn fast.”

Kane nodded. “If you’re anything like your sister, I don’t doubt it.”

A flush rose on Molly’s cheeks but the men were too busy shaking hands again to notice.

“I see we have a new employee as well as a new relation. That’s what I call a good day,” Bennett said, walking into the room. “The boy and I had a bit of time to talk while waiting on you, Molly. I like him.”

Molly smiled at Bennett’s blunt statement. “Thank you.” She beamed with joy thinking that for the time being at least, her life had come full circle.

“Looks like things have come full circle for Molly,” Bennett said, lowering himself down into a kitchen chair. He appeared robust but his movements were those of an ailing man. Kane took a seat and the two faced each other.

“What do you mean?” Kane asked.

“Well, Molly’s found a home here. She’s been reunited with her brother and she seems to have you strung around her finger.”

Kane opened his mouth to protest, but his grandfather was quick as a whip.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happier than a coyote in a henhouse that you two are getting along so well.” Bennett lowered his head, and peered at Kane through narrowed eyes. “You are, aren’t you? I mean to say, I’ve seen the bounce in your step when you come downstairs in the morning. And Molly, too, she looks…shall I say, fulfilled.”

“Grandfather,” Kane warned, realizing his grandfather was taunting him, hoping to gain insight into their marriage. Kane would never tell him the truth about the bargain he’d made with Molly. That bit of information would surely send him to his grave.

“Only thing that’s missing,” Bennett continued, pretending not to hear Kane’s admonishment, “is a child. That would make the circle complete.”

Kane held his tongue. His grandfather knew Kane wanted no children. He hadn’t changed his mind. And he’d gone to great pains and sacrificed much to ensure that no child would be created in this house. Hell, he ached every night for completion when he bedded his wife, but Kane exercised great willpower. Molly eased his suffering with skillful hands. But Kane often thought about bringing them both to that peak of pleasure at the same time.

Bennett leaned in, refusing to let the subject drop. “Well, have you gotten your wife pregnant yet?”

“Oh!”

The sound of Molly’s voice startled them and they turned to find her entering the kitchen, her face rose petal red, her green eyes wide with surprise.

“Come in dear girl,” Bennett offered, gesturing for her to take a seat and join them.

“Excuse me for interrupting, but I wanted to speak to Kane about Charlie.” Molly looked straight at him, and lately every time she walked into a room his heart pumped a little harder. Today was no different. “If you have a moment?”

Kane nodded and rose from the table, grateful he didn’t have to answer his grandfather’s probing question. He took her arm and guided her outside. They walked a little bit away from the house finding shade from a small white oak tree.

“I don’t know what to say,” she began, her eyes misting up. “You’ve done so much and now, you’ve given my brother a home and a job.”

“It’s part of our bargain.”

Molly stiffened, her back rearing up like a wary cat.

Kane wished he could bring those words back the moment he’d said them because for the first time today, Molly’s joy evaporated and he knew he was to blame.

“Yes, our bargain,” she repeated, as if the recollection stung her. “I pray Bennett lives a long time…but if he doesn’t you’ll have both McGuires out of your hair.” She turned to leave, holding her head high but not even her valiant pride could conceal a voice filled with pain. Kane reached for her.

“Ah, Little Bird,” he said, taking her into his arms. “I didn’t mean to bring that up today.” In truth, most of the time Kane had forgotten about the bargain. He supposed living as man and wife, making love every night and some nights more than once, did that. Perhaps both had gotten too comfortable in their fake roles. Perhaps his bringing it up was a good thing, but he didn’t want to see Molly hurt. And he had hurt her just now.

He cursed under his breath, hating what he’d done.

Molly pulled away from him and the loss shot through him like an arrow. “Sometimes, Kane Jackson, I think you’re the most wonderful man in the world. And sometimes,” Molly said, lowering her voice to a forced whisper, “I think you have a heart of stone.”

Later that evening, Kane walked Charlie to the bunkhouse. “Are you sure you want to stay out here?” he asked. “We have more than enough spare rooms in the house. And you’re welcome to any one of them.”

Charlie shook his head. “Nah. I’m used to sleeping out on the range. The bunkhouse will seem like a fancy hotel for me. And besides, this is the best way to meet the men.”

“It’s important for you to fit in, right?”

Charlie nodded. “It ain’t always easy when you’re green and from the east. I took my share of ribbing on the trail, and I expect I’ll get some here, too. But, sooner or later, when they see I’m a hard worker and willing to learn, I’ll win them over. I appreciate just having a roof overhead and a job to call my own.”

Kane liked his attitude. Under the circumstances Kane would do the same, wanting to earn his keep and work hard, proving himself. He saw a lot of potential in a young man with a whole lot of heart. Just like his sister.

I think you have a heart of stone.

Molly’s cutting words came to mind and Kane admitted to himself the truth in them. He had closed himself off, guarding his heart carefully and protecting himself from the kind of hurt that destroys a man. He wasn’t being fair to Molly. She deserved more and Kane often thought that when the time came for Molly to leave, she would be free to find the kind of man who would treat her kindly and give her the love she sought. It wouldn’t be difficult for someone like Molly to find a man. The thought knifed through his gut, so Kane gave up thinking about the future, keeping his heart of stone intact. He brought his attention back to the present and Charlie.

“Molly wanted you to stay at the house.”

Charlie glanced at the main house. “I know, but we talked, and she seemed to understand. I’m a few years younger, but I’m not a little boy anymore. It’ll take her a while to get used to that. I can reason with my sister.”

Kane laughed. “You can? Tell me how?”

Charlie smiled and shook his head. “Okay, she’s headstrong. And once she sets her mind to something, there’s usually no stopping her, but she’s so happy now that I think she would’ve agreed to anything.”

Kane agreed. Molly had been happy all day long, from the moment she set foot in the Cheyenne village and saw the willingness in the children’s eyes, to coming home and finding her brother alive and well. She’d been overjoyed, until Kane spoke harsh words to her—truthful words, but harsh nonetheless, thus destroying her happiness.

Kane sought out Toby and introduced Charlie to his foreman and the other ranch hands. He made sure Charlie had a bunk and the supplies he needed, then bid him swift good-night. Kane had an overwhelming urge to see Molly, to somehow make things right with her.

They’d all eaten dinner together in the dining room and while Charlie did most of the talking, Molly barely spared Kane a glance. She’d taken off with Charlie the moment the meal was over and Kane lost track of them until he’d spotted Molly’s brother speaking with one of the hands by the corral.

The night was cool and quiet, except for the whinnies of a few mares settling down for the night. It was a peaceful time, when animals and humans alike sought rest. Kane sought a different kind of peace. He peered up to their bedroom window and noted the lamplight out. Molly had already gone to bed. He entered the house quickly and took two steps at a time up the stairs. With care, he opened their bedroom door and stepped inside.

Moonlight cascaded into the room streaming a ray onto the bed. An uneasy sensation swept through him when he found the bed empty. Molly wasn’t there and he hadn’t seen her since dinner. Hell, every time his wife turned up missing, she’d gotten into trouble.

“Damn, where’d she go now?” he muttered. He paced the bedroom, marching back and forth contemplating. Occasionally, he glanced out the window. She couldn’t be with Bennett. His grandfather had retired early tonight, right after dinner. And the kitchen was quiet. No sign of Lupe. She’d gone to sleep as well.

The only soothing thought Kane had was that Molly wouldn’t dream of leaving the Bar J now, not when her beloved brother had returned. Yes, Kane thought, easing his mind some, Molly wouldn’t leave the ranch. Of that, he was certain.

Kane headed downstairs. He’d simply wait up for his renegade wife.

Molly tightened the shawl around her shoulders and walked briskly down the path heading toward home. After spending time with her brother tonight she’d taken a long stroll, needing a chance to clear her head. She’d been angry with Kane and injured by his blunt statement. Kane’s reminder that the life she enjoyed at the moment was a temporary arrangement had struck her with harsh clarity.

Molly had almost forgotten.

But Kane hadn’t lied to her. He’d never portrayed their marriage as anything other than a way to achieve goals, hers to locate her brother, his to ease an old man’s last days.

Molly had a home. She had her brother back. She had children to teach. Was she greedy to want more—to want it all? Or was she a fool to fall in love with a man who clearly didn’t want the same things in life that she did?

Clouds overhead blocked starlight, and Molly stopped on the path to glance at the surroundings. She’d been distraught earlier, Kane’s words echoing in her head, and she’d headed away from the house, her frustration taking her farther than she’d intended. “Don’t get lost, Molly,” she whispered into the night.

An owl hooted and she jumped.

“Just stay on the right path,” she said, convincing herself she was heading in the right direction. There was nothing to fear. She hadn’t left Bar J property. No, her fear was buried deep inside and it had nothing to do with not finding her way back home tonight. Her fear stemmed from finding her way when she no longer lived with Kane. When the Bar J would no longer be her home.

She couldn’t blame Kane entirely. She’d entered into their bargain knowing the terms and understanding the consequences. And if given the choice again, she wouldn’t have changed the time she had with Kane, the way she felt when he held her, the way she felt when their bodies joined. She had decided that she would grasp all she could from their time together.

Molly saw her path clearly now. She would enjoy her time at the Bar J for all its worth. She had so much to be grateful for and she wouldn’t fault Kane for what he hadn’t been able to give her. Already, he’d given her so much.

A dim light flickered in the distance, and Molly realized she hadn’t been far from home at all. She found her way back easily and once she entered the house, she tiptoed quietly, heading for the staircase.

“Has my wife finally decided to come home?” Kane’s voice startled her. She turned toward the parlor where he stood, leaning against the opened doorway holding a bottle of liquor.

“K-Kane, I thought you’d be in bed by now.”

He smiled ruefully, lifting the bottle to his lips and taking a swallow. “Hoping I was fast asleep?”

“No. Not really.”

“Where did you go?”

“For a walk.”

Kane took a deep breath then spun around. Molly watched him march into the parlor and sink into the sofa. Slouched, his long legs stretched out. “Kane? Are you drunk?” Molly followed him into the room.

He lifted the half empty bottle of whiskey he held. “Not yet.”

Molly sat down next to him on the sofa, eyeing him quietly. She’d never seen Kane like this. He’d always appeared steadfast and strong, but tonight he showed her a different side. As much as she wanted the old Kane back, the one she could rely on, she also wanted to know more of this intriguing man. “Why drink at all?”

Kane ignored her question. Instead he sipped from the bottle. “I haven’t been fair to you.”

“Wh-what?” she asked in a stunned whisper.

“You deserve better than me, Little Bird.”

Molly blinked, but other than that she didn’t show Kane her surprise. “No, I don’t.” If only he knew how much she cared for him, how rich a life they could have together if Kane would tear down his defenses and allow her inside his heart.

Kane’s lips curved up but his smile held only regret. “We both know that you do. I have entered into an unholy bargain with you. We have no future together, yet we pretend that we do in front of the ones we care about the most. We’re deceiving them and deceiving ourselves. And even now, when I know I’ve hurt you and brought you pain… I want you. And what’s more, I want you to want me.”

Kane sat up straight and turned to face her. “I crave you, Molly.” He took her hand and set it on his chest, right over his heart. Rapid beats pulsed under her fingertips. “So much.”

Molly melted from his honest words. “I crave you, too, Kane.”

Kane bent to kiss her, taking her into his arms. He smelled of whiskey and when their lips touched, the warm heady taste stirred her senses. She liked the way Kane tasted, liked the way her body reacted to his scent.

“I want you now, Molly.” Kane laid Molly down on the sofa. He came up over her, kissing her lips and working the buttons of her dress.

“Here?” she managed to ask in between kisses.

“Here.” He spread open the material of her dress and gazed at her body with hot hungry eyes.

“Now?” A fresh bout of excitement stirred within her. This was highly inappropriate and she’d be mortified if anyone walked in on them, but when Kane claimed her mouth once again then moved lower to suckle her breast, laving the tips with his tongue, Molly’s rational thoughts swiftly fled.

“Now,” Kane said, unbuttoning his trousers.

Molly reached up to unfasten the buttons on his shirt, and once done, she spread both hands onto his hot skin, her fingers working through the fine hairs to caress the muscles underneath.

Kane didn’t bother removing his pants. He didn’t bother removing her dress. Instead he hiked her dress up, and kneeling, he entered her with one efficient move. A deep low guttural groan escaped his lips and Molly, too, felt the power and strength of their joining. Like two pieces of a puzzle, they fit. And, oh, the fitting was perfect.

Kane moved inside with slow sweeping strokes, taking Molly higher and higher, her body tuned to his in every way. They climbed to a towering peak, Molly crying out as Kane pushed her to the limit. They went up and over together, their release spontaneous and exquisitely powerful. Kane shuddered, his body taking every last ounce of Molly until both were sated and complete.

It was only later, when her mind and body had calmed, that she realized what had happened. Kane hadn’t denied them wonderful fulfillment this time. He hadn’t pulled away at the final moment. And it had been beautiful. Molly had never felt closer to another human being in her life.

Buttoning her dress, she sat up and faced Kane. But he wouldn’t look at her. Instead, he sat with his head in his hands, looking grim.

Molly touched his arm. “It was wonderful, Kane.”

Kane only shook his head. In a self-deprecating tone, he said quietly, “Like I said, you deserve better.”

Molly had to disagree. After what they shared, she knew in her heart that there was nothing better.

“Are you sorry?” she asked.

“It was wrong, Molly. And unfair to you.”

“Are you sorry?” she asked again, needing to know if what they shared just now had been one-sided.

Kane shook his head. “No, Molly. I’m not sorry, but if you—”

Molly silenced him with her finger to his lips. “I’m not sorry, either. There is a reason for what happens between us.”

But Kane looked skeptical. And Molly didn’t know how or if she could ever make him understand.

“Let’s get some sleep, Little Bird. You have to teach a class tomorrow.”

Molly smiled. “Yes, I do, don’t I?”

Kane lifted her and carried her up the stairs to their bedroom. He helped her undress and then tucked her in, kissing her one last time. She watched as he headed for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be sleeping in one of the spare bedrooms from now on, Molly.”

Molly bolted straight up. “Don’t you dare,” she admonished.

Kane found her threat amusing. He smiled briefly, but he spoke with firm resolve. “It’s the only way, Little Bird. Don’t argue. I’m doing this for you.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“And I don’t want to go, but unless I do, what happened tonight will happen again and again.”

Molly squeezed her eyes shut. Almost immediately, she formulated a plan. She wouldn’t allow Kane to sleep alone, thinking he was doing right by her or not. Molly cherished her time with Kane. She needed him by her side. And even though he believed he’d failed them both tonight, Molly wholeheartedly disagreed. She and Kane had created a memory that would last her entire lifetime. “Okay then, don’t slam the door on your way out.”

Kane narrowed his eyes in puzzlement.

“Good night, Kane.” She snuggled into her sheets.

Kane closed the door slowly, shaking his head.

Molly vowed that one way or another, she would make sure Kane returned to their bed once again.

Or her name wasn’t Molly McGuire Jackson.