Renegade Wife

chapter Twelve


Molly held her breath watching Kane undress before her. He kicked off his boots, then with steady hands removed his buckskin shirt, the fringe catching a thin stream of light as he lifted the garment over his head. Bronzed and rippled with muscles, Kane was a man to admire. Molly’s heart raced. Her body reacted. The anticipation of having Kane join her on the big, wide bed left her giddy and eager.

And when he removed his pants and she witnessed the full extent of his desire, Molly couldn’t help but think him a powerful warrior, a man who belonged in an untamed world—a man she would love with the whole of her heart, regardless of their differences, regardless of the unholy alliance they’d made.

With outstretched arms, she beckoned him and the returning smile he cast her warmed her heart. Kane joined her on the bed and kissed her with hot, hungry lips. Molly lay there, bared to him, giving up her body as well as her heart. Kane stroked her with gentle loving hands, touching her skin and searing her soul. She moved with him, finding the pattern he set, the rhythm. Together, they glided in this world of lusty strokes and emboldened moves. They touched and explored each other, finding ways to pleasure one another, murmuring sweet words until their sounds became more anguished, their touches more demanding.

Kane whispered to her hurriedly, repeating his words from before, “I will be the husband you need.” He cupped her between the legs, and with deft fingers found the center of her womanhood. She cried out from the sheer pleasured force of his stroking. But Kane did not stop there, he continued kissing her in places that made her body tense with joy. His lips moved onto her throat, her shoulders, and then he spent time laving each breast, making each peak pebble and come alive from his ministrations. She ached from the tormenting pleasure and moved alone now, setting a pace of her own. Higher. Higher.

Kane whispered, “Let go, Little Bird. Fly.”

And Molly did fly, her body and soul reaching up to grasp the highest cloud, her world filling with wonder and grace.

“Kane!” she screamed at that exact exhilarating moment, and his mouth came down to muffle her cries.

She sank slowly to the bed and gazed up at the man she loved. He smiled and kissed her lips and somehow Molly felt as if she’d pleased him, when it seemed obvious to her that he had been the one to do all the pleasing.

“There’s more,” he said, nibbling on her throat. “If you’re willing.”

Molly moved her body, spreading her legs, ready for Kane’s lovemaking. “I’m willing,” she breathed out, and within moments, she and Kane were joined.

She closed her eyes, relishing the feel of being one with her man. She loved the sensation, the tingles that swept through her body, the feeling of being possessed solely by this man. And when Kane moved, his manhood filling her full, her body accepting him in all ways, Molly’s heart soared to new heights.

He was her husband. She was his wife. This was real.

Molly had never known such utter joy. She moved with him, trying her best to please him in every way, allowing her instincts to take hold. She kissed him passionately, stroked his shoulders, his back, absorbed his strength, enjoyed his beautiful body until once again they moved in a world of their own, faster and harder. Molly let go all of her inhibitions, until once again she felt herself flying.

Kane kissed her one last time.

And to her surprise, he left the warmth of her body.

He flopped onto his back, lying very still.

“Kane?” Stunned, she rose up to look at him.

He shook his head and spoke softly. “We cannot create a child.”

Molly’s joy evaporated, realizing that her reality and Kane’s were so different. Yes, they were married and yes, they would make love. But Kane had never deceived her of his feelings. He didn’t love her. He didn’t want her child. Molly had to face facts and learn to accept that Kane offered her all that he possibly could.

Was it possible to love someone so very much and experience hatred at the same time? Molly thought so, because deep down inside, Kane had injured her beyond repair. Her heart bled from the loss. But he’d always been honest, giving her no reason for false hope. And for that Molly was truly grateful.

She sat there for a moment, making a decision. She could either keep a fine distance from Kane, making herself miserable or she could accept what he offered and rejoice in the time they had together. Molly chose the latter. She would have time to be miserable later on once they’d met all the terms of their bargain.

For now, Molly decided to hold on to what she could.

“You didn’t fly,” she whispered, surprising herself at her brazen remark.

“No, and it will be this way,” he admitted.

Molly laid a hand on his abdomen. “Show me how to help.”

Kane gazed at her, a bit surprised, but also with a hint of appreciation. “You would do that?”

Molly nodded, wondering if what she suggested was somehow forbidden or, worse, abhorred. “Is it all right?”

Kane covered his hand over hers and began her lesson. And soon she learned it was not only all right, but for a man like Kane, perhaps it was a blessing.

Kane woke in the minutes before daybreak, finding himself in a tangle of sheets and Molly’s limbs. Decidedly, not a bad place to be. He closed the small gap of their bodies, snuggling up against her, placing an arm around her waist. Her female scent mingled smoothly with the aftermath of their lovemaking, flavoring the air with an alluring mix. He breathed in deeply and silently sighed.

Molly slept nude beside him, a fact Kane had trouble ignoring. Kane leaned in to kiss her cheek before he rose for the day, but Molly made a provocative sound, a little whimper that alerted his body in a very male way. He marveled at how she responded to his slightest touch, how she gave as much as she received. He still reeled in pleasant shock at Molly’s bold behavior last night. She had brought him unforeseen satisfaction so innocently that Kane also marveled at her unselfish nature.

Kane kissed her again, nipping at her earlobe. He sensed her smile, and when she covered her hand over his and guided him to her breast, he knew that this morning would start out far better than the last.

Kane palmed her breast, weighing the size and firmness to Molly’s soft moans. Then he brushed his thumb over one rosy tip, flicking it gently between his fingers until it grew firm and hard. He stayed there for a time, satisfying all his playful urges, creating a tempting picture for him to view—Molly’s body readying for him.

Kane was beyond ready to take Molly, his shaft growing hard at first contact with his naked wife. But he continued this soft play as the new day approached, touching and molding and caressing her as she pretended to lie lazily in bed, only her soft sounds and sighs of pleasure giving her away.

Kane’s shaft nudged her from behind, there was no help for it and he thought of all the different ways he could make love to her. He envisioned new positions for both to try, but there would be time for that. Molly was too new to lovemaking and so Kane shoved those thoughts away, and gently turned her onto her back.

He rose above her and her acknowledging smile was all he needed. He entered her carefully, feeling the tight squeeze of their joining.

“Oh, Kane,” she whimpered right before he took her in a long heady kiss.

She felt right and so good, that when he moved inside her welcoming body, a satisfied groan escaped. His need for Molly was great and he showed her in each loving move, each powerful thrust, his yearning and desire. It was then that he realized he would make love to Molly every night they had together. It was as if the choice had been taken from them. Kane knew he could no longer sleep in bed beside her and not make love to her.

“Ah, Little Bird,” he called out when the time was right. He knew that his little bird would, once again, fly.

Molly rose with Kane, feeling still quite playful. Kane helped her dress, but in truth he did all he could to keep her from dressing, pulling at her dress to kiss her shoulder, swatting her behind instead of helping with her petticoats and pulling the wrong way on her chemise to expose her breasts.

Finally, after minutes of indulgence, she stood in front of the cheval mirror to find a rosy glow of color on her face, despite the one nasty bruise on her forehead. Kane came up from behind to view her. They gazed at each other in the mirror. “I didn’t do such a bad job of dressing you.”

“You didn’t dress me. Undressing is your specialty.”

Kane only smiled and she turned to him. “Have breakfast with me.”

He nodded. “I think I heard my grandfather come down. We’ll have breakfast together.”

“It’ll be good to see him up and dressed.”

And with that, Molly knew she’d have Kane for a few more minutes before he rode off for the day. Already, she missed him. Since they’d returned home from their “honeymoon,” they hadn’t eaten too many meals together or spent any real time together.

And ten minutes later, they shared the breakfast table with Bennett. He looked much better than he had yesterday and it gladdened Molly’s heart.

Bennett spoke to her at first glance. “Good to see you two having breakfast together.”

Lupe had put out quite a spread. Thick bacon strips filled one plate, while spicy potatoes filled another and, of course, Lupe’s handmade tortillas were stacked a dozen high. Kane grabbed several—Bennett, too—and Molly decided by the grumbling in her stomach that her appetite matched both the Jackson men. She filled her plate as well.

“Yes, and I’m glad you came down for breakfast this morning, Grandfather,” Molly said. “Are you feeling better?”

Bennett attempted a small smile. “A bit. What happened to your head, dear girl?”

“Oh?” Molly reached up self-consciously to touch her bruise. “I took a fall.”

“Molly went riding,” Kane said to his grandfather, “late last night.”

Bennett turned to her. “By yourself?”

With reluctance, Molly nodded.

Bennett cast her a look of concern then he focused his attention directly to Kane. “Why’d you let her go out without you, boy?”

“He wasn’t home,” Molly said too quickly, then realized how that must have sounded. “I got restless and went for a ride. Everything was fine, really…until I saw a little Indian girl.”

Bennett glanced at Kane, narrowing his eyes. “She saw an Indian girl.”

Molly explained. “She took me by surprise, that’s all. I don’t think she meant any harm. But Kane, you didn’t give me a chance last night,” she began, then cleared her throat. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. “I mean to say, after you took me home, we never discussed her.”

Bennett grinned.

Kane smiled.

Molly wanted the earth to swallow her up whole.

“I mean to say that after I fell, and you took care of my injuries, I was too…too—”

“You were too tired to ask,” Bennett finished for her.

Relieved, Molly slumped in the chair. “Yes, that’s what I meant to say.”

Kane bit into a tortilla. “You didn’t find time to ask this morning, either.”

Bennett coughed, spurting out his coffee, but with a distinct and satisfied twinkle in his eyes.

Molly glared at her husband. “There’s time for an explanation now. Do you know anything about her?”

“Yes,” Bennett agreed with a bit of glee. “There is time for your explanation, Kane.”

Kane finished his coffee and leaned back, taking his sweet time to answer, but Lupe rushed into the room and interrupted. “We have a visitor. Senora Rose is here to see Senora Molly.”

Bennett stood. “Penny is here?”

“Sí,” Lupe said, nodding her head.

“Well, show her into the parlor.”

Lupe dashed off and Molly looked at Kane. He shrugged as if to say he didn’t know what was going on.

“Shall we?” Bennett said, appearing more youthful than she’d ever seen him.

Molly took Bennett’s arm and they all walked into the parlor. Kane stood by the mantel while Bennett took a place by the door, waiting. When Penelope Rose entered, Molly’s mouth nearly dropped open. Mrs. Rose had a new hairstyle and she wore the pretty cream-colored dress they’d seen just yesterday at Miss Deidre’s dress shop. And Molly had been right, the color brought out the dark brown hues in the older woman’s eyes.

“Good morning,” Molly said in greeting.

Mrs. Rose glanced about the parlor, greeting her and Kane, but she didn’t give Bennett more than a quick glance. “Good morning, everyone. I brought a basket of warm biscuits and muffins to welcome you both home from your honeymoon. I take it the trip went well?”

Kane nodded and Molly answered, “Very well, thank you. How nice of you to think of us. And don’t you look lovely this morning, Mrs. Rose.”

“Yes,” Bennett agreed. “Very lovely.”

Mrs. Rose blushed, the color rising to her cheeks instantly. She straightened her dress, nervously fidgeting, meeting only Molly’s eyes. Molly smiled warmly in return. “Please, have a seat.” Bennett showed Penelope to a tufted wing chair.

When Mrs. Rose sat down, Kane came forward. “Sorry, but I’m afraid I was on my way out. I have work to do. Thank you for coming,” he said politely. Then he turned to Molly. “I’ll be home later tonight.” He bent to kiss her cheek then made a hasty exit.

Molly frowned and followed him out the door, “But we haven’t discussed—” It was too late. Kane had taken his leave.

She returned to the parlor to find Mrs. Rose in deep conversation with Bennett. Molly sat down on the velvet sofa and listened to the two of them while they reminisced about old times. She figured Mrs. Rose had finally eased into the situation because she hadn’t much stopped talking to take a breath. And Bennett seemed to be enjoying every word.

Molly should be rejoicing. She had lively company this morning. Things were certainly improving with Kane. She’d heard news of her brother. Yet, that same sense of restlessness stole over her. She faced another day with nothing of consequence to do. Kane had deserted her once again, and the day would drag on until he returned in the evening. Yes, she should be rejoicing, and that’s why she couldn’t quite understand why today of all days, she never felt more alone.

Kane strode quickly to the barn, happy to get away from another of Mrs. Rose’s longwinded stories. How that woman could talk. Kane had never met such a talker. Molly never spoke out of both sides of her mouth like that, making him wish he were anywhere but with her. No, Molly had a soft soothing voice, and most times, when she wasn’t irritated with him, he didn’t much mind listening to her.

He saddled his mare and mounted, ready to head off for the day, but Molly’s face kept popping into his head. He hadn’t missed the unhappy look she cast him when he’d excused himself just minutes ago. Kane had more things in one lifetime to keep him busy, but Molly had nothing. And the more she dwelled on not going after Charlie, the unhappier she would become.

Kane rode north on the same path Molly had followed last night, and he’d made it about half a mile out when her words from yesterday echoed in his head.

I’m lonely and bored most of the time.

Maybe it was because they’d made love last night, this morning, too, or maybe it was because keeping Molly happy meant keeping her out of trouble, but for whatever reason, Kane turned his horse around. “Ah, what the hell,” he muttered.

He picked up the pace and rode hard until he returned to the Bar J. He dismounted and strode into the house, his boots clamoring noisily on the floor. Entering the parlor, he immediately sought Molly’s attention. She looked up, her expression changing from sheer boredom to one of curious expectancy. Witnessing her bright eyes and a face filled with hope, Kane was glad he’d returned.

“Something wrong, boy?” Bennett asked.

Kane shook his head. “No, nothing’s wrong, Grandfather.” He kept his eyes trained on Molly. “I forgot something.”

“Oh?” Bennett said with a bunching of eyebrows.

“My wife.”

Mrs. Rose gasped, as if he’d said he came to strangle every last living person in the house. And if truth be told, he had a feeling she’d come over here today just to make sure he hadn’t done some grave injustice to Molly while on their “honeymoon.” Darn if that woman didn’t get on his bad side.

Kane crossed the room to take both of Molly’s hands. “There’s something I want to show you. Something you need to see. Will you come with me today?”

Molly swallowed. For a moment, he’d rendered her speechless. And then she smiled and looked over at her guest. “If you’ll excuse me?”

“Why, um, of course, dear,” Mrs. Rose said.

Bennett stood. “Take all the time you need.” He gave Molly a playful wink as Kane led her out the room.

“Kane?” she asked, once they’d climbed down the front porch steps. “Where are we going?”

“Be patient, Little Bird. Soon, you’ll know everything.”

It was time Molly learned the whole truth.

Molly rode Sweet Pea, the otherwise sedate horse, carefully making sure she didn’t let out a shriek as she had last night. And Kane kept glancing at her, as if making sure she was secure on her horse. Kane, being ever so mysterious, hadn’t given her any indication as to where they were going, but they traveled the same path Molly had last night.

“Are we getting close?” she asked for the third time.

Kane shook his head, refusing her an answer. “Just hold your tongue for a few more minutes, and no matter what you see, do not startle your mare again.”

Molly’s heart pounded. What would give her cause to shriek out again? She couldn’t figure out why Kane was being so secretive. All he’d said when they’d first set out was that seeing is believing. And that soon all would become clear. He wouldn’t answer any questions, but rather sat on his horse quietly as they rode up to the northernmost edge of Bar J property.

Off in the distance, a thicket appeared, a lush green wall of tall scrubs and trees amid the grazing land. Kane led the horses that way and once they’d reached a cluster of cottonwood trees, he stopped and dismounted, then helped Molly down from her horse.

Kane held her in his arms longer than usual, their eyes meeting for a long moment. Molly smiled, her heart doing a little dance within her chest. Each time he was near, each time he held her, her body unconsciously reacted.

She couldn’t help loving him the way that she did.

Kane looked deeply into her eyes, his face no longer masked with indifference, but he held an expression of concern and apprehension. She knew that what he was about to show her was of great importance to him.

“Come,” he said and took her hand.

Molly followed Kane into the thicket, Kane parting branches to widen the path. They walked only a short while, and once on the other side, a clearing appeared. Kane stopped and Molly nearly collided into him. But Kane paid her no mind, his eyes were on something in the distance.

Molly followed the direction of his gaze.

And then Molly witnessed something she thought she would never see in her lifetime.

An Indian village.

She swallowed and blinked and looked again. Yes, a whole small village filled with tipis and cooking fires and hides hung up to dry in the sun and a string of horses, corralled in a pen.

And people.

She witnessed what she assumed to be Cheyenne going about a daily routine as if, as if…they belonged there.

She turned to Kane, but his gaze was still fastened to the village, and when Molly glanced back, a small child approached, running headlong and fast right into Kane’s legs.

The young Indian girl hugged him tight. Molly knew they were not strangers. There was obvious affection there. Kane bent to her and spoke softly in her ear. That’s when the young child glanced up at Molly, giving her a long curious look, before running off.

And Molly recognized the young Indian girl from her escapade with Sweet Pea last night. This sweet-faced child had been the one who had startled her, causing her to fall from her horse.

“She’s the one,” Molly said in wonder. It was as if they were in another world, this one so different from the world Molly had always known.

Kane nodded. “That’s Smiling Eyes.”

And he spoke with such pride that a cold chill traveled the length of her body. She all but froze, deep in thought, her mind spinning. She had so many questions for Kane, but this one suddenly became of utmost importance.

She looked up at him, her mind clouding and her heart aching. “Is she yours?”

Kane didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

Molly felt such loss, such heartache. A dozen emotions coursed through her body and the impact of his admission buckled her legs. Kane, as if sensing her dismay, gripped her arm and held her upright. Then he announced with that same sense of pride, “They all are. They are my family.”

Molly stared at Kane. “What do you mean?”

“These are my people, Molly. They saved me years ago. I couldn’t turn my back on them. At least for this small band of thirty Cheyenne, life is tolerable. I couldn’t see them on a reservation. Here, they are learning to work the cattle. Here, they have a chance.”

“Does your grandfather know?”

Kane drew in a breath. “He knows. It was a condition I made to stay at the ranch. It’s not his choice to have them here.”

“But surely if they saved you as a boy, he must be grateful to them. Surely, Bennett—”

“My grandfather wishes them no harm, but you have to understand, there’s a long history here between the Indians and the white man. Early in his life, my grandfather lost many friends and follow ranchers in Indian raids. Doesn’t matter that they weren’t necessarily from this tribe. The white man doesn’t see a difference.”

Molly shuddered. She had to admit, she, too, had always thought of Indians as only one people. Yet, she knew that some tribes were not hostile to whites, while others held fierce resentment. And as she looked upon this peaceful village, where half a dozen children ran through the grounds, their laughter filling the air, she began to see them in a different light.

“So, Smiling Eyes is—”

“She belongs to Swift Water and Spotted Elk. She has a brother who is older by two years.”

“And they all live here?”

“Yes, they are free to roam the land within our boundaries.”

“And this is where you go when you leave for the day?”

“Sometimes, Molly. But I help run the Bar J, too. I have duties and obligations to both.”

Kane had said seeing is believing. And now, she understood more clearly. She saw Kane’s life with much better perspective. Torn between his white lineage and his Indian upbringing, Kane divided his time and his loyalty to both worlds. No wonder Molly had only gotten a tiny piece of him. Kane had little left to give. Sadly, she did understand his plight.

“I’d like you to meet my…my mother. Singing Bird raised me. She’s waiting in her lodge.”

“Oh, I’d love to,” she said in earnest, but she couldn’t help her apprehension. Even with Kane by her side, Molly felt like a trespasser, someone who certainly didn’t belong here. He took her hand as if understanding her need and led her to the village.