Once and Again

chapter Three



Lily wasn’t sure why she was nervous. After all, she’d known Beth Murphy most of her life and through her, Beth’s sisters. She knew Maggie Chase and probably every woman on the other side of the door.

She knocked before she could change her mind only to have the door yanked open by a grinning Beth Murphy. “Sugar, you’re here!”

She hugged her friend and was yanked inside.

Maggie Chase approached, grinning. “It’s been way too long since I’ve seen you last. Come on in.”

Lily put her bag on the little bench at the entry and kicked off her shoes, following Maggie and Beth into the wide and full living room.

“We’ve got sour apple and lemon drops made so far. Want one?” Beth indicated the counter lined with pretty martini glasses and two pitchers.

A lemon drop in her left hand, she managed to nod a lot at the stuff people said as she made her way to the couch to sit.

“You know everyone, right?” Beth asked.

“Let’s see.” She looked around. “Yep. I met Cassie a few days ago at the bookstore. I know everyone else from school or town.”

Beth hugged her side. “I’ve missed you so much. I’ve hated living in two different places. And when you come back to visit, it’s…”

“Awkward. It’s all right. It put you in an odd spot and I didn’t want to make things worse after we broke things off. But I’ve missed you too.”

“You’re back for good, right?” Maggie passed over a tray of something yummy looking so Lily took two. Just to be neighborly and all.

“I had thought it would be temporary, but Chris is going to need me. He’s too much for my mom and he’s nervous enough about people leaving him. I made a promise that I’d be here for him and I will.”

Tate smiled, nodding. “Nathan says he’s seeing a big difference since you’ve been back. It’s good you can do it. I know he’ll appreciate it in the end.”

“Not so much when I take his car away and he starts with how I’m not his mother.” She laughed and raised her glass.

Tate laughed. “Chris will take a while. But I think your being here for him is exactly what he needs.”

“What’s your job situation?” Beth snuck one more of the little meatball things off the tray and winked at Lily.

“I can do my job remotely. For a while anyway. Eventually they’re going to want someone based in Macon, and I get that. Once upon a time I made an okay living with my freelance work. I don’t know if that’s the case anymore. But I have some other ideas as to how I can pay the rent.”

“You’re living with your mom?”

“Above the garage, which is the same really. But it’s close enough, and I can be around to make sure Chris gets to school and that he’s not sneaking around and cutting class. My mom is… Well I’m glad I’m nearby.”

“I was sorry to hear about what your dad did. How is she recovering from that? How are you?” Beth’s voice was low enough that it wasn’t a loud public statement. Conversation picked up all around them and Lily let herself relax.

“He didn’t cheat on me and drop our marriage and child for some twenty-year-old. What I have to deal with is nothing compared to that. At the same time, this isn’t his first trip to another woman’s bed. I know it makes me uncharitable, but he’s always been the center of the universe and everyone was supposed to be a satellite around him. My mother made that choice to live that way. I didn’t. So she’s a wreck. I hope she snaps out of it and can be a better and more present mother for Chris, but I don’t know if it’ll happen. I sure know Chris doesn’t have the time to wait around for it or for our father to get his head out of his rear and remember he’s got other things in addition to his too-young girlfriend to support.”

“Well, you know my history. If you want to talk about it, I’m around. I love your mom, but even I can see she’s sort of given up.”

Beth’s parents were far worse than Lily’s ever could have been. For her, it had been neglect, but mainly benign. The Murphy parents were a living nightmare.

“Nancy has been sniffing around.”

Beth made a sour face. “You need another drink for that, and then you and I are going to talk about Nathan.”

Lily put her hands over her face, but laughed anyway.

“What? What are you embarrassing her over? You have to share so we can snicker too.” Cassie leaned in, smiling.

“Nathan and Lily used to be together back in college.”

“Seven years ago. It was nearly seven years ago.” Her face blazed.

“Ha. Clearly you’ve forgotten all about it since you know exactly how long ago it was.” Beth handed her another drink. “And you need to try those little popover things there.” She pointed to another plate.

“What’d he do?” Cassie asked. “What?” She looked around, laughing. “You all might know but I don’t. I wager most of you don’t know and want to know, but you’re all just too chicken to ask. I’m a Northerner so I get to be rude. Polly told me that last week and I’m clutching it close as an excuse now. Don’t be jealous. I’ll share.”

Lily winked. “I surely do like you, Cassie Chase.”

“Okay, hang on. Let’s top off everyone’s drinks and bring out the rest of the food before we go into the story.” Maggie went to grab some more plates of food, Olivia moving to join her.

“It’s not even a big deal. We were both young. He’s moved on. I moved on.”

Beth rolled her eyes. “He’s been agitated since Monday. Don’t tell me he’s moved on.”

“I heard he was engaged. Sounds like it to me. And to Stephanie Prater?” She hated Steffie. She’d been a stupid, shallow girl in school, and Lily had no doubt was still stupid and shallow. Just the idea that Nathan considered her worth marrying and Lily not even worth explaining to made her want to punch something.

Tate laughed. “To a grown woman who made people call her Steffie. She showed up to his house with wedding invitations made!”

“Sad she has self-esteem issues.”

“You are such a good addition to this group.” Olivia put her feet up and sipped her virgin drink. “Marc and Nathan are a lot alike. All those pretty men with ladies falling over their feet to get to them, and they get lazy. You take work I bet. And I mean that as a compliment.”

“Well I certainly require that any man I date who says he loves me doesn’t go kissing up on other women.”

“He did not!” Anne’s eyes widened. Anne was another one of Nathan’s sisters and also part owner of Tate’s salon. “He’s always been so closed mouthed about it. I guess I know why now.”

“He did. But we were on a break so whatever. He never found it very important to try to explain and that is that. Period. I’m either worth it, or I’m not.”

“I didn’t know he never tried to explain and I sure never knew he cheated.” Anne frowned. “I need to thump him.”

“Please don’t. Really.” Why it was important to her that his family not be angry with him, she didn’t know, but it was. “We were on a break, but we’d promised to not see anyone else while we worked things out. He apparently found his answers and acted on them before talking to me. We were young. I was twenty-one years old! I didn’t know anything about anything, but I do know despite his flaws when it comes to women, Nathan is a good person. Please don’t be mad. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Beth patted her knee. “Don’t worry. We all still love him. I find it interesting you’re concerned over how we think about Nathan. Are you going to protect his virtue? ’Cause that’s a big job.”

Tate snorted. “And he saw the light with Steffie and broke things off. She’s crazy too. Oh girl, she shows up all over town and scares him.”

Ha! Good.

“Yes, I smirk a little too. Still, he’s not the same selfish boy he was when you two were together before.” It seemed a nice punishment that Tate would smirk over something Nathan did.

Lily put her hand up. “Enough talk about Nathan Murphy. He moved on. I moved on. It was a silly romance years ago. Loving someone more than they love you is a sucky thing. But I’m over it.”

They let the topic pass and moved on to other things. Gossip was pretty much the same as it had been when she lived there before. But when she got home later that night and had checked in on Chris, she realized it’d been the right choice to go. The right choice to start building a life here in Petal, for the long haul.

Her condo in Macon was up for sale. She just had to hope that despite the economy she could move it soon enough. Then she’d have a good down payment for her own place in town. It’d go some way in convincing Chris she had no plans to leave. And it’d give her a sense that she was putting down roots.

She was approaching thirty and it was time to settle in for real.





“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” Lily followed Beth through the crowd toward the table of women near the dance floor.

“You don’t let anyone talk you into anything. You have a strong will, Lily Travis. You wanted to come here to kick up your heels and dance. Takes the edge off a crappy week.” Beth grabbed her hand and tugged her along. Murphys never seemed to move slowly—except for the one.

At the thought of Nathan, she drew a deep breath and made herself think about Josh Lucas instead. Which worked for five seconds.

Tate, Anne and Maggie Chase waved them over when they caught sight of their approach.

“Hey you two. Pitcher just arrived. I heard about how you chased your brother and caught him by jumping a fence.” Tate pushed a beer in Lily’s direction. “That’s awesome. Once when Jake was in trouble for something or other, can’t remember what now, Tim jumped the fence at the drive-in and caught him.” Everyone laughed, imagining the look on Jacob’s face as his six-foot-plus brother cleared something so tall and then got close enough to grab.

“The boy will be the death of me.” She gulped the beer as she watched the ebb and flow of people on the dance floor. “I can’t believe the little shit made me chase him in the first place. I didn’t think about it until I was nearly up and over it. Lucky I didn’t land on my ass and break something.”

“Was he with other kids?”

“Yes. I grabbed one of them too and marched him home. Chris told me he got put on restriction for six months. At least he got in trouble, I guess. The other two are little thugs and I’ve forbidden Chris from hanging with them. Who knows if it’ll take or not. I’m now the meanest sister in the world.” She mock bowed.

Beth snorted. “I bet Chris is good and scared of you now, though.”

“He does jump every time I walk into a room.” She raised her glass to the group. “Why are we here? I thought we’d head to Riverton.”

“Used to. But the Tonk is closer.” Beth shrugged. “It’s sort of become our place over the last few years.”

“How’s your momma?” Maggie asked. “Polly saw her on Wednesday out in the yard. She been sick? Polly said she seemed pale.”

That was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it? Her mother had taken to drinking along with the pills and walked around the house in a daze. Lily hated for Chris to see it. If it went on much longer, she’d have to deal with it, and there was already so much to deal with, Lily wasn’t sure she could do it all. Much less do it all right.

So she sighed. “She’s a mess. But she stays out of my way when I’m dealing with Chris for the most part, so that’s good. I guess.”

She and Beth had talked about it, about this growing addiction. Beth and her siblings knew what it was like to grow up in a house with addicts. It wasn’t pretty and Beth had a very low tolerance for it. Lily got that. It was bad for Chris to see, though she wasn’t sure he got it quite yet.

“If you need anything, let me know.” Tate reached out to squeeze her hand. “I understand more than you think.”

She was wrong there, of course. Lily knew exactly how hard Tate had worked to raise her siblings around the violent, drunken episodes between her parents, and the ones her father had aimed at the children who were clearly not his own. She’d seen firsthand what Tate’s face had looked like after she’d jumped in-between Beth and their father, and he’d taken out all that anger on her.

“I appreciate that.” But damn it she didn’t want to think on it. Wanted a few hours of some peace and lighthearted fun before she had to dive back in.

“Where is Chris tonight?” Beth passed the tray of potato skins over.

“Church youth group. Their youth pastor is a good guy. A few of Chris’s friends are going. Friends he doesn’t get in trouble with. Anyway, they’re doing a sleepover in the rectory and watching movies. I don’t want to take everything away from him. You know? I want him to have friends and a life. I just don’t want that life to include having to jump fences to catch him when he’s cutting school.”

The subject was dropped after some laughs, and they got down to the business of ogling the denim butts on the dance floor. Not a whole lot she found sexier than a man in a cowboy hat, jeans and boots with a button-down shirt. Yum. Even better when they were all polite. She knew the Chase husbands lurked around at their own manly table elsewhere, but a girl can still look even if she’s not gonna touch after all.



“Who is that?” Royal Watson, Anne’s used-to-be-boyfriend now best friend, leaned over to ask Nathan.

He turned to find himself mesmerized by the sway of a spectacular pair of breasts that happened to belong to none other than Lily Travis.

“That is not yours. That’s who she is.” Nathan frowned as she took a circuit of the floor with Andy Sanchez. Andy’s hand was mighty close to Lily’s ass. That was not going to happen. It was one thing to know she was still pissed at him after all these years. He could live with that. Probably. But it was another to imagine her with anyone else in town. That wasn’t going to be a reality he’d have to live with.

“Really now?” Royal grinned and looked pointedly at Nathan’s hand. “Don’t see any ring there. Why don’t you…holy shit, that’s Lily!” Royal found this ridiculously funny and Nathan wanted to punch him.

“Yes, it’s Lily. Stop laughing.”

“I laugh because your pain is amusing.” Royal shrugged.

Matt Chase came back over. “Sorry, I had to go smooch up on my woman for a bit. She let me and then shooed me off. Don’t know why we can’t all sit together.”

“Probably because Lily is with them and she hates Nathan.”

“Thanks Royal, you can stop with that now before I have to clean your clock.” Nathan watched her move, watched Andy lean in and say something in her ear. Watched her laugh and then thankfully shake her head and step back.

When she turned to head toward the women’s table, her gaze snagged on his. He caught the awareness shocking through her system and sent her a smile. Oh, yes, he still got to her.

“I think you should ask her to dance.” Matt hogged the nachos and Nathan frowned.

“I think he should too. Then she’ll kick him in the stones, and we can laugh and laugh. Mr. Smooth can’t get hisself a woman. Never thought I’d see that day.” Royal smirked.

“Every time I’m with you for longer than three minutes I know why my sister dumped you.” Nathan rolled his eyes.

“She dumped me because I asked her to marry me. Three times. And she said no each time. Picky women. This town grows ’em like peaches. Christ. If you don’t ask Lily to dance, I will.”

“No you won’t. You and Anne aren’t romantic anymore, but she sure as hell isn’t going to be all right with you rubbing up on a close friend. Lily’s like family so if you wouldn’t rub up on Beth, you can’t rub up on Lily either.”

Royal frowned. “You made that up to keep me away.”

“You’ll never know for sure.”

Matt laughed. “True. But he’s right about one thing. You and Lily need a dance. But she’s going to say no if you take her on directly-like. So wait until she’s out there again and cut in. She’s got good manners, she’ll be too nice to snub you in public.”

“You’re a devious man. I like that about you.”

So he bided his time until eventually she ended up out there again, and he headed out, careful to avoid the spot where Steffie was. She’d been less than thrilled when they broke the engagement off and continued to send him cow eyes when she wasn’t plotting his death.

He tapped Phin on the shoulder and the man shot Nathan a look of annoyance, but he stepped back and Nathan smoothly took his place, getting a secure hold on that waist so she couldn’t bolt.

They danced well together. Always had. He knew she loved it and he’d always loved to hold her as they did. Loved that any man in the place could look his fill but she was his. Christ he was dumb to have let her go.

“Well hello there, Lily.” He sent her his most charming smile. She was not impressed and frowned back at him.

“Why are you doing this?”

“There’s no reason we can’t be friends. If I remember rightly, you like dancin’. So do I. Why not dance together? Unless, you know, I’m too much for you to handle, and you can’t bear to be around me if we’re not smooching. That’s okay too, by the by.”

“You’re so full of yourself. Smooching? Seems to me you’re just fine getting that whenever you want it.”

He mimed pain, holding a hand over his heart. “I’m wounded.”

“Not enough for my liking.”

He laughed. “I’d forgotten how vicious you could be. I am sorry. It was shitty of me. But I’m older and wiser and more discriminating than I once was.”

She rolled her eyes, and he had to close his eyes for a second as the scent of her perfume wrapped around his senses.

“Why the eye roll?” he asked when he’d gotten hold of himself once more.

“Discriminating? You not only put your dick in Stephanie, you were going to marry her. That is not exactly discriminating in my book.”

“I’d say something like she’s not all bad, but that’s a lie. I sort of…anyway, She came to my house for dinner and she had a stack of wedding invitations she was trying to choose. She’d taken out an ad in the engagements section of the paper and put our picture in it. One of her friends took it at some party! Anyway, I went along with it for a while, but in the end, I couldn’t keep lying to her about it and I couldn’t talk myself into marriage to a woman who didn’t make my heart beat faster unless it was from sick fear. Do you have someone? Back in Macon?”

“I did.” The song was ending, and he knew she’d break for it once it was over.

“Did like how? Like you broke up a while ago or…”

She sighed. “I’ve been single a while. Not that it matters to you, Nathan Murphy.”

“Let me buy you a drink.”

“No.”

“Why you gotta be so hard? We used to be friends. Before we had the other, we were friends. I miss that.”

The song ended and she extricated herself. “I missed a lot of things for a long time. But I don’t now.” She turned her back on him and stalked back to the table where heads bent close, he knew asking her for details.

Then Steffie headed in his direction and he had to melt into the crowd to escape.