Once and Again

chapter Ten



When he called her again, it was as she worked on a coatdress she’d been commissioned to make for a bride she’d also taken engagement pictures of a few weeks back.

Her clothing business was bringing some nice and much needed income into her life after her old job had finally ended. Between the clothes and the photography, she was doing all right.

Which was good as it was one less worry and she had so many it made her feel better to be able to cross something else to panic over off her list.

And it kept her busy enough that she didn’t have to think about the conversation with her mother earlier that day.

“I’d like to see you.”

She smiled, knowing he couldn’t see it. “I can’t tonight. I have too much to do.”

“A girl’s gotta eat. Why don’t you let me make dinner for you?” He put all his sexy into that voice of his and it brushed over her skin like a caress.

But she couldn’t lose herself in his body. In the way he cared about her. Too many risks to run to him when she was upset.

“I’ve got too much work to do. Really. You can make me dinner another night.”

He sighed heavily. “I want to see you.”

“It hasn’t been that long, you know.”

He laughed. “Well, as I’d like to wake up to you every morning and spend all my time with you, long isn’t the issue. I want to see you every day.”

She wanted to believe it.

“We can see each other Sunday at dinner.”

“Sunday is three days from now.”

It was her turn to laugh. “You’ll survive. Use your hand. And don’t forget to give me all the details. Or maybe let me watch another time.”

He made that sound of his, the one he used on her and rendered her to goo. “You’re killing me.”

“I have to go. I’m putting together this dress and it’s all hand-sewing work at this point.”

“Don’t stay up too late. You need to rest.”

Oh he was so much. Damn it. Too much to resist. “Thank you. You too. I’ll see you later. Sweet dreams.”

She wanted to give all that to him. To unload her fears and anger and let him help her be okay. But she was chicken.

So she just kept working and tried not to think of the way he said her name.





She opened her door to find him on her doorstep nearly five hours later.

“What are you doing here?” She yanked him inside, looking around.

“No one saw me. It’s dark and your steps are at the back of the house. I even walked so my car isn’t around.”

“It’s midnight! Why are you here?”

“You’re upset.” He moved to her after locking the door. Brushing his thumb over her cheek, he peered closely at her face. “You’ve been crying.”

“I don’t want to talk just now. I need to sleep.”

He looked around at her sewing stuff. “You do. But it doesn’t look like you have been.”

She didn’t want to talk about any of it. Having to confront her mother had been more than enough emotional upheaval for the day.

His gaze went hooded and a shiver ran through her. A delicious awareness of his presence. “Hi.”

He smiled. “Hey, Miz Travis.” In two steps he was touching her, his hands roving all over her body. “Too many clothes.” He unbelted her robe and pushed it from her body, leaving her in nothing more than boxer shorts and a tank top. “Well now. I like this.”

She used to wear his boxer shorts back when they were together. She loved to sleep in them.

“Whose are these?” He slid a fingertip inside the waistband and slid it around her body, leaving gooseflesh in his wake.

“Mine. All you guys wear boxer briefs now so I just went and got my own. Why are you here?”

“Because I needed to touch you. I needed to kiss you and sink inside you. I’ve missed you.”

Flattered, she smiled up at him. “We only saw each other two days ago.” Heat flashed through her as she remembered that stolen time in Beth’s closet.

“But remember, I didn’t get to taste you.”

She forgot anything she was going to say and didn’t bother to argue when he sat her in a nearby chair and got to his knees between her thighs.

He pulled her boxers down and off and simply stared at the beauty of her body. Her nipples were hard and visible through the threadbare tank she wore. The outline of that sexy piercing showed, thrilling him, making him even more glad he’d taken the risk and finally just gone to her.

“Open your thighs wider. I can’t get to all of you unless you let me.”

She closed her eyes for a long moment and then complied. More beauty as the dark, slick, pink cleft was bared to his gaze. “Your p-ssy is so lovely.”

Her blush was pretty. Not an embarrassed one, she didn’t show any signs of embarrassment with him when it came to sex. Which he appreciated and knew was an important step to their finally being together in reality. Out in the open. No, he knew her reaction was a flattered one.

“Were you wet before I arrived?” He kissed up the inside of her thigh and then cut his gaze to her face, mouth hovering near her p-ssy.

She shook her head.

“This is all me?” He didn’t stop the smile.

She nodded.

“Cat got your tongue, sweetness?”

“You should use yours. On me. Right now.”

He chuckled, the breath washing over her *. She sighed as he pressed a kiss to her *, her fingers tangling through his hair.

He continued to kiss, open mouthed, that beautiful p-ssy that was all his. Didn’t matter who came between. She was his now and he’d never let her get away again. He wanted to worship this sweet and salty spot forever and ever.

Her * was hard against his tongue as he drew the flat of it over and then tickled the underside with the tip. Her gate was hot, wet as he slid a fingertip around it a few times until slipping it in deep, and then added another.

So good. Sweet holy f*ck she tasted perfect. Like nothing and no one else, and he couldn’t seem to get enough. He wasn’t a man who shirked away from going down on his partners, but this was different. Whatever it was between them was different and always had been.

He craved her. Craved her taste, the sounds she made as he licked and suckled. Found himself thinking of eating this pretty p-ssy at least three dozen times a day.

Her thighs began to tremble as he took her higher, not breaking his rhythm. She tugged him closer. His cock stretched the front of his jeans at that. Wanting to be where his fingers were. He forced patience, wanting to make this all about her. Wanting to show her what she was to him.

His eyes may have watered from her grip in his hair when she came in a hot rush against his mouth. But he wanted more. Continued nuzzling and kissing until she hit another climax and finally pushed him back as her chest heaved.

“Now that we’ve taken the edge off, I propose we get totally naked and get flat so I can f*ck you so hard your tits jiggle just the way I like.”



Minutes later, he lay on his back with a beautiful woman straddling his body. “Life is good.”

She gave him a smile, but he saw the sadness still in her eyes. He was pretty sure he hadn’t caused it or she wouldn’t be f*cking him just then. He’d get her all buttered up first and he’d talk to her about whatever it was.

She rose and fell on him, her hair sliding forward over her shoulders, hiding her face here and there. Her body was tight around his. Wet from his mouth and her climax. The weight of her made him happy, felt right as her inner thighs slid over his hipbones. He wanted her so much it nearly hurt, but when they were like this, nothing else mattered. When they were like this, she was his and he had no doubts of it.

Her nails scraped down over his chest, pausing at his nipples, playing until he writhed with how good it felt. This was a surprise to him. He’d never thought much about his nipples, being so fond of the female variety and all. Leave it to Lily to know though.

She took her time. Slow and deep, teasing him, bringing him into a rhythm only the two of them knew. Seductive. Soft like her skin, and yet heady, sticky and unbelievably hot. She added a swivel and he might have blacked out for just a second it was so good.

“I know you’re down there thinking about when you can take over.” One corner of her mouth quirked up.

Yes, he liked being in control.

“You’re doing just fine for now. I especially like…mmm, yes that little swivel there.”

She undulated on him and he thanked the heavens above she took those dance classes in high school. The woman knew how to work her hips to the greatest effect.

He slid his palms up her sides to her breasts, playing with her nipples through the material of the tank. She arched to get closer and her p-ssy rippled around him when she did.

That’s when he couldn’t take any more and rolled, flipping them over so he could be on top and in control.

She laughed, but it wasn’t mocking.

A laugh that died on a moan when he picked up the pace and began to f*ck her in hard, feral digs. Her nails dug into his biceps as she wrapped her legs around his waist to change his angle and get him even deeper.

There was no sound but the blood rushing in his ears and the soft slap of wet flesh meeting. Her skin slid against his, sweat making the friction sweeter until he couldn’t take it another second and blew hard, deep inside, her name a plea on his lips.





He petted down her side as she snuggled into his body.

“Now that I’m sated for a few minutes, why don’t you tell me about it?”

She sighed. “What do you mean?”

He turned her to face him. “What made you cry? I can see you’re upset. What’s wrong?”

“I confronted my mother today about the drinking and pills.”

“I take it it didn’t go well?”

He was trying very hard not to sound like he was upset or pissed off. The way this issue made him react wasn’t about her and it wasn’t the time for his feelings on it.

“She was defensive.” Lily shrugged.

“Did she see she’s got a problem?” He doubted it. Hell his father had landed Tate in the hospital with a concussion more than once. And he was still an abusive drunk. Not that they had much to do with him after he’d been caught blackmailing her some years before.

“Maybe I’m overreacting. She’s sure there’s no problem and who am I to deny her that little bit of peace?”

“F*ck that, Lily. She’s got kids. Her son has been in danger of failing all year. He’s making you chase him over fences and attend classes with him because she’s more concerned about her pills and oblivion than her damned job as a mother.”

She huffed a breath and extricated herself, quickly putting her boxers back on and getting some distance. Distance that only made him crankier.

“She’s had her entire life upended. He’s taken everything from her and she’s not a young woman anymore. She’s got to face a life as an older woman. Alone. It’s hard enough to date when you’re in your twenties and thirties, she’s sixty-five. Anyway, they’re prescription pills.”

“God, don’t tell me you’re getting caught up in her excuses. Lily, addicts always have excuses. It’s what enables them to keep abusing their substances of choice. Her problems won’t go away because she ignores them. You know that.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m so very tired of talking about problems.” She put her robe on and left the room.

He followed her out. “Won’t go away if you ignore them either. What about Chris?”

She threw her hands up. “I’m doing all I can. I’m not a superhero. I gave up a great job to come here and pick up after other people. I’m here. I left everything behind and I’m so exposed and raw and I just don’t want to talk about it. Every time I try to help I f*ck it up anyway. She’s pissed at me. Nancy is using that to try to make trouble, and around all that, I have to keep Chris away from it.” Her voice wobbled a little and his belly ached to hear it.

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad.” He was messing this up, damn it. “I got my own shit about this issue. It’s getting in the way. It’s not about you. Not at all. I’m sorry if I’m making you feel worse.”

She sighed and flopped into a chair.

“Did they even thank you?”

“Christ. I need to sleep. This is my family, I have to do whatever I can to help Chris, who has no choice. Thank-yous aren’t even on my radar. That’s not why I’m here. I’m not Nancy.”

“I know you’re not. But I’ll be damned if I don’t say they take advantage of you and don’t bother with any manners. I hate seeing it. I hate seeing you in pieces because your mother is more interested in a bottle than you. Because your sister is a selfish bitch and cares more about stirring trouble than helping. It’s not fair for you to do it all.”

“Life’s not fair, Nathan. Someone has to clean up the mess and if it’s not me, then it’s no one, because everyone else is too wrapped up in their own crap. So it doesn’t matter that no one thanks me. Or that my mom would rather be stoned all day than be a parent. Or that my sister is a whore who f*cks married men and lives off other people. Or that my father is banging a twenty-year-old. None of that matters because the outcome is the same. It still needs to be taken care of and I’m still the only one who’s gonna do it. Whining about it won’t change that.”

“Why is it so impossible for your mother and sister to say thank you for all you’re doing? I know Chris is too young to truly get it, but they’re not. It’s shitty to treat you like the help. Like your sacrifices don’t matter. Where would your momma be if you hadn’t come? Huh?”

“It’s a waste of time to bemoan it. It is what it is.”

“It’s not a crime to need to lean on someone. To share your burden with me so I can help you. Even just a little bit. They ask too much of you. I hate that.”

“Like it was too much that you guys paid for Jill and Jake to go to school and you had to eat dinner with your parents once a year at least and endure all that abuse to get the financial-aid papers signed?”

“What do you know about that?”

“Oh so you get to hold stuff back and it’s okay? But I’ve got to rip myself open? It’s too much when my family needs it but not yours?”

“That’s not what I meant.” Well not all the way. “This is spinning out of control. All I’m trying to do is help, and you’re attacking me and attempting to start a fight.”

She got up and went to the door. “I told you I didn’t want any company, that I had to work. And you came to me. You came to me. If you don’t want to fight, just butt the hell out. I’m doing the best I can and I know I’m still messing up. I don’t need to be alerted to this all too painful fact.”

“Stop pushing me away. I’m just trying to love you.” Seeing her so upset broke his heart. He wanted to gather her up to him and run far away.

“I can’t do this right now. Please go.” Her voice got thin for a moment, tears so clearly close, but she held her arm in front of her body, between them, to hold him back.

“This isn’t over. Just because I’m going right now doesn’t mean I’m leaving you. I’m not leaving until you admit that.”

She made an annoyed growl and he knew that was good enough for the time being. He didn’t want any misunderstandings.

“Yes. Of course. I didn’t think that.” She sounded so miserable he didn’t want to say anything else and make her feel worse.

He did stop, close to her body, cupping her cheek. She leaned into his touch. “I love you, Lily. I want to make you happy. Sometimes that won’t be the case. But I’m sure as hell going to try. I’ll see you soon. I’ll be calling tomorrow. Now really do get some sleep.”