“Merry Christmas.” Suzanne’s greeting surprised me. “I thought I better call since it seems you’ve lost my number.”
Just like that, all my pretense at happy Christmas spirit fled out the nearby window and instantly frosted over in the December air. “I didn’t lose your number,” I told her flatly. “I just don’t want to talk to you.”
She gave me a loud, dramatic huff. “Because I sent that picture? That was for your own good. I was being a friend.”
I shook my head at her bullshit, catching my look of incredulity in the mirror in front of me. “No. You were being a bitch because you don’t know how to be anything else. You didn’t send that photo because you were looking out for me, you sent that photo because you were pissed off and wanted me to be pissed off too. You’re spoiled and you’re spiteful. Not to mention inconsiderate. I should have broken off our friendship ages ago, as soon as I realized that you aren’t capable of thinking about anyone but yourself. Don’t bother calling me again. Ever.” I hung up before she could respond and instantly deleted her number.
The fact that I felt relieved more than anything else told me I was doing the right thing.
“What was that about?”
I spun around. “Adam?”
He stepped into the room, scrutinizing me. “Well?” He gave a nod toward my phone.
I slipped it into my pocket. “It was nothing.”
Adam scowled at my reply. “Did Marco cheat on you?”
“What?” I stared at him in surprise. “Why on earth would you think that? No. He didn’t cheat on me. I told you, I just didn’t want to be with him anymore.”
“Well, none of us believe that.”
I heaved a beleaguered sigh, wishing my family didn’t pay such bloody close attention. “Look, if he’d done something awful to me, I’d tell you in a heartbeat so you could go and kick his arse. But he didn’t. I promise.”
It was Adam’s turn to sigh. “Sometimes I don’t know what to do with you, Hannah. Els is worried.”
I opened my mouth to reassure him, but there was a commotion downstairs —
“Adam!” Dec bellowed up the stairs. “The baby’s coming!”
“I don’t recognize any of these people.” I wrapped my arm around Cole’s shoulders and leaned into him as I looked around the room.
“That’s because you’ve had five beers.”
“Yet my cognitive functions appear to be in working order, so it’s not that.”
He glanced at me, a small smile playing on his lips. “And you used the phrase ‘cognitive functions.’ Okay.” He gazed back around the room. “So I guess I don’t recognize some of these people. But most of them are from uni.”
“Hmm. Should we mingle?”
“Aye.” I felt his concerned gaze on me. “You ready for that?”
“You’re the one that’s forcing me to celebrate New Year’s, so I think you already think I am.”
“Jesus Christ, leave it to you to be smart when you’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunk. I’m buzzed.” I spotted a bottle of tequila. “But I know a way to get drunk.”
Following my gaze, Cole’s nodded. “I’ll get the salt and the lime.” He walked off toward to the kitchen, smiling and nodding hello to people.
As soon as he was gone, I instantly felt despondent. I hated that I felt despondent. This was supposed to be a happy time. Ellie had given birth to another little boy in the early morning of Boxing Day. She and Adam had named him Braden after his uncle, although we’d all already started calling him Bray. While William was fair like his mum, Bray was already dark like his dad. Only time would tell if he’d remain that way.
We were all gaga over Bray, even the kids. Now we were just waiting on Jo, who was due this week.
I tried not to let their pregnancies or the pregnancies that had come before theirs bother me. Never would I resent a family member’s or friend’s happiness. However, each new baby was a reminder that I would never have one of my own. So I took joy in being a favorite aunt.
I took no joy in the fact that missing Marco hadn’t gone away. In fact it had only gotten worse.
“Screw the salt and lime,” I whispered, and headed over to the tequila.
With Cole’s help and the help of people who were introduced to me but whose names I quickly forgot, I got drunk to the point where I was happy but I could still control which foot went in front of the other. By the time midnight approached, a cute guy around Cole’s age was chatting me up. He was flirty and kept touching my waist and bending close to hear what I had to say, and for a little while, at least on a superficial level, I could forget there was a Marco.
Across the room I saw Cole was flirting with a pretty brunette.
It looked like we’d each found ourselves someone to kiss at midnight.
The room grew still upon the countdown and we all started shouting down from ten.
“… TWO! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
Cheers rent the air along with whistles and claps, and I turned to smile up into cute-guy-I-couldn’t-remember-his-name’s face just as his mouth descended toward mine.