What? Pregnant? No. I turned to look at my parents in denial. “No… I would have… known.”
The doctor shook her head gently. “Sometimes with an ectopic pregnancy there is bleeding, spotting, that is often confused with menstruation.” She must have seen on my face that that’s exactly what had been happening these last few weeks. “An ectopic pregnancy is when a fertilized egg implants itself outside of the womb. In your case, Hannah, the egg implanted inside your left fallopian tube. Unfortunately, because you were unaware of your pregnancy, any symptoms you might have had were not picked up on.”
The sickness. The pain.
I closed my eyes in disbelief.
“The egg continued to grow inside your fallopian tube until it ruptured the tube. You were bleeding internally when you arrived at the hospital. We had to perform surgery immediately. As I explained to your parents, we lost your heartbeat but managed to resuscitate you.”
I’d died?
I looked at my parents and saw it written all over their faces.
“Hannah.” Dr. Tremell’s voice had grown softer. “We removed the damaged tube and you should make a full recovery from surgery. We’re administering pain medication to you, but if you feel any pain, please let your nurse know and we’ll administer more if needed.”
I looked up at my parents and saw in their ragged expressions what the last forty-eight hours had done to them.
I closed my eyes.
This wasn’t real. This couldn’t be real.
Two months.
I sat on the end of my own bed, staring around at the things in my room, feeling strangely detached from the person who owned them. I didn’t feel like that girl anymore.
Nearly dying, weeks of pain and recovery, missing school, dealing with the rumors at school… all without him, all without Marco by my side. The one person I needed.
It had been a long two months.
A life-changing two months.
And I still hadn’t explained anything to anyone.
I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it.
My eyes locked on a photograph of Jo and me last Halloween. I’d convinced her to dress up with me. She was a sexy nurse and I was a mischievous angel of death. I had my arm around her shoulders and I had pouted dramatically at the camera, laughter and joy in my eyes.
Who was that girl?
I blinked away the tears, refusing to give in to any more of them.
A light knock sounded at my door and I looked up to watch Cole slide in. He was taller than Cameron now.
Without saying a word he walked into the room and sat down beside me.
“I know everyone has tried talking to you about what happened and I know you keep blowing everyone off, but today you aren’t going to.”
I scowled at my lap.
“Hannah, you passed out in my arms. There was blood. Jo and I didn’t know what was going on. You were dying. I was scared shitless,” he confessed, his words thick with emotion.
Surprised, I looked up at him. Cole cared about me.
Sighing, I reached for his hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry I did that to you.”
“You don’t need to be sorry. Just tell me who got you pregnant so I can kill him before Braden, Adam, Cam, and Nate get to him.”
Still, despite feeling betrayed by Marco’s departure, angry at him, so angry at him for leaving me to deal with all this alone, I felt fear more than anything else. Fear of my family discovering he got me pregnant. Fear they’d hurt him. Fear they’d think less of him.
“Hannah, you almost died,” Cole reminded me harshly.
“I know.” I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. “I made a massive mistake. At the beginning of the school year I went to a party with Sadie. I got really drunk.” I looked away from him. “I slept with this random guy I met and I took off afterwards because I couldn’t believe I’d done it. I don’t even know his name, let alone where he lives. And if I did, what would be the point? I had a miscarriage. He didn’t know I was pregnant, I didn’t know. We were both to blame for acting irresponsibly.”
“But you’re the only one who had to deal with the consequences. How is that fair?”
I shrugged. “I don’t think God’s a woman, if that’s what you’re asking.”
He choked on laughter. “You’re joking about this? Really?”
“It’s either that or I cry.” I felt my lips tremble. “Shit. I’m going to cry.” The tears fell before I could stop them, the sobs shuddering out from the very depths of me.
Cole wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him, his T-shirt instantly soaked where I laid my head on his chest. “You’ll get through this, Hannah.”
“I keep seeing my mum’s and dad’s faces. I watched them go through hell when Ellie was diagnosed with her tumor and I saw it in their eyes again when I was lying in that hospital bed. Their whole world nearly disappeared along with me and it’s my fault.” I sobbed harder.