Not a Chance (Sweet Nothings)

chapter SEVENTEEN



The memorial service for June and Rory was set for the next morning. It had taken a while to gather family members from out of town. Arden had asked for a sub for the morning so she could attend. She didn't know the Raymers that well, but she felt somehow partly responsible for what happened to them. It had never before occurred to her to ask if there were people in her own town who were hungry and homeless. That was something that happened in third world countries. Not in little Splitlog, Missouri.

Arden had asked Nick to come with her, but he was busy at work and he didn't know the Raymers well enough to care. She'd tried to appeal to his sense of compassion, but that had resulted in the eye-opening realization that compassion wasn't one of Nick's stronger character traits. So she sought out Travis.

She drove to the garage to ask if he would be going. When she got there, he was in his office, dressed in a black suit and tie, clean-shaven and with his hair combed. He was standing at his desk typing something into his computer when she walked in. She stopped dead when she saw him, amazed at the transformation. He smiled up at her.

"Pretty dress," he said.

She'd put on a simple, black calf-length dress with a merlot colored sweater. He would look amazing next to her dressed like that. "Nice suit," she said, looking him up and down. All she could think was...wow.

He quirked a half-grin at her and then looked back down at his computer. "What are you doing here, Princess?"

She sighed. Same old Travis. Funny she would think of him like that already, not even knowing him two weeks. "I thought we could drive over to the funeral together."

Travis nodded. "Sure. No Nick?"

"Nope."

He frowned in thought, put the computer in standby and then grabbed his keys. They didn't speak on the way over. Arden kept some distance when they went in the church together, but Travis kept opening doors for her and ushering her in and out of them, so anyone looking would know they were together.

People were milling around in the foyer. Arden tried to break away from Travis's side to say hello to Emma, but Travis kept with her. She gave Emma a hug and kissed her on the cheek. That damn girl had a couple of tears trickling sedately down her cheeks. Emma was the picturesque perfect female, always displaying just the right amount of emotion at just the right times. And with Dustin at her side, tall, handsome and oozing masculinity, she looked mature...complete.

Arden stood taller and linked her arm in Travis's. He looked down in surprise. She smiled up at him as though nothing unusual were going on. They sat in Travis's usual pew towards the front. Dustin sat with Emma. Arden was pleased to be sitting with Travis alone. But then Kristen showed up and sat on the other side of Travis.

"Hi, Arden," Kristen said softly, leaning forward to see past Travis. She offered her hand.

Arden gave her a tight-lipped smile and shook her hand.

Travis leaned back and put his arms around both women. Kristen leaned into him and rested her hand on his thigh. Arden sat stiff and glared up at him.

"Relax," he said to her. "I'm never going to be wedged between a sexy brunette and a hot blonde again. Let me enjoy the moment."

Arden tried not to smile. She scooted next to him so that their legs were touching. His hand was soft on her shoulder.

Then the service started and Arden forgot all about her feelings for Travis. June had two daughters, including Ashley Strauss, from another marriage. Rory had two sons. They each got up and spoke about their parents. In the background on the wall was a photo slideshow. Underlying the whole thing was the knowledge held by everyone in that room that June and Rory had frozen to death in the house they'd been evicted from.

Arden couldn't stop the tears from pouring down her face, but she fought with all her might to keep from sobbing. She sat up, her back straight as an arrow and she dabbed at her tears with tissues she'd crammed in her purse. Kristen's shoulders were shaking as she cried into Travis's chest. He kissed her on the head and massaged her shoulder. Then he took his other arm from around Arden and held Kristen close.

Arden did her best to ignore them. She even pulled a tissue from her purse and offered it to Kristen. When the service was over, everyone mingled, briefly, to pay their respects to the family. Travis kissed Kristen goodbye and then drove Arden back to the garage. He pulled up next to her car, but left his engine running and his hands on the wheel.

Arden didn't look at him. They sat their for several moments in silence. "Did you see in the paper about Lloyd Redding?" Arden asked. Her voice sounded weak and tired.

"Mm-hm," Travis replied.

"Did you know him?"

"Yep."

Of course he did. Travis knew everyone. Arden exhaled loudly. "I feel guilty," she said.

"For what?" Travis sounded annoyed.

"For having so much when others have so little."

Travis was silent for a beat. "You think if you had nothing that this world would be a better place?"

Arden didn't know the answer to that question.

"If you gave away all your money, it might help a few people for a little while, but this world would still be a shitty place to live with tough breaks and hard times everywhere you turn. Just be glad you've got what you've got and do your best to be a good person. No sense feeling guilty."

Arden got the feeling he was talking more to himself than to her. She turned to face him. "Are you okay?"

He kept staring ahead, his hands still on the wheel. "I got to go home and change for work," he said.

"Oh." Arden turned back to face forward. There was more awkward silence. Arden didn't know why Travis was being so cold toward her. And she was getting the feeling he was waiting for her to get out of the car. She looked at him. "Are you going to make me open my own door?"

He didn't look at her. His jaw tightened and he got out of the car, slamming the door shut. She waited while he opened hers. When she got out, he opened the door to her car. She didn't get in. "Are you okay?" she asked again.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm fine," he said. "Just sad for the Raymers, that's all."

Arden knew something else was bothering him. She took a guess. "I heard about your wife..."

"God," Travis cursed, shoving a hand through his perfect hair and messing it up. "Ex-wife. Ex."

Arden pressed her lips together and nodded. "How's she doing?"

He shook his head. "I have to get to work, Arden."

"Then tell me what's bothering you so I can be on my way."

"Nothing's bothering me. I just got back from a f*cking funeral and I'm a little depressed. Is that okay?"

Arden ignored him, searching for something else, some other reason he was rejecting her like this when usually he wanted to spend every spare second with her. "That Kristen chick seems nice," Arden said.

Travis froze, a hint of a mischievous grin lightening his face. "Are you jealous?"

Arden laughed. "Of course not."

His shoulders slumped and the grin vanished. "I didn't figure. She said she asked you if it would bother you for us to go out."

"And I told her no. You're my friend. I want you to be happy."

Travis gave her a look of mild disgust. "That's very big of you," he said.

Arden drew herself up.

"Now it's been lovely, but I really have to get home and change."

Fine, Arden thought. I give up. She started to get in her car as he walked away, but then she paused. "You look great in that suit," she said.

He turned around and grinned. "I look pretty good out of it too, if you care to come find out."

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help smiling. "That's better," she said. Then she hopped in her car and drove to school.





Travis changed back into his grubby jeans and flannel shirt. Tonya was sitting on the edge of his bed watching. He'd told her to leave, but she wouldn't. Anyway, what did he care.

"You still got my name tattooed on your shoulder," she said. "How come you didn't get it removed."

Travis shrugged. "I loved you once. No sense denying it."

Tonya looked down at her feet. "I never did mean to hurt you."

"Save it, Tonya. I'm over it. And I have to get back to work."

"So you're just going off and leave me again?" she asked.

"It's called having a job," Travis said. "When you have one of these jobs, you don't have to mooch off your ex friends and family members."

"Is that all you think of me? I'm just some freeloader?"

"Well what should I think of you, Tonya? You come here expecting me to help you, and yet you have no plan for what to do after this baby comes. How can I help you when I don't know where it is you want to go with your life?" He finished buttoning his shirt, shoved into his denim coat and grabbed his car keys. "I'll be at the shop if you need me. You've got my cell number."

"Can I come with you? I'm tired of being cooped up."

He looked at her, frail and extremely pregnant. She looked like she needed to be in bed. But how should he know? "Tell you what," he said. "You can have the car for the day. Just drop me off at work and go do whatever it is you want to do."

She smiled brightly and Travis had a brief glimpse at his high school sweetheart. He smiled back, feeling sad inside.

When he got back to his office there was a new computer sitting on his desk. A flat screen monitor. Everything about it was smaller and more modern. His old one had been about twelve years old. Big and clunky and slow. Travis strode to the door that led to the garage and flung it open. "Neil!" he shouted.

Neil popped up from behind a pickup truck. "I made it better, Travis. Merry Christmas."

"F*ck you. Get in here. Now."

Neil's smile vanished and he marched slowly into Travis's office. Travis stood behind his desk with his arms crossed over his chest. Neil had been threatening to do this for a couple of years and Travis kept telling him no.

"Nothing's changed, Travis," Neil said. He turned on the computer. "I put everything on here, all your files in icons on the desktop just the way you had them. There's just some updates to the operating system, but you'll barely even notice."

"There was nothing wrong with the old one."

"It took fifteen minutes to boot up."

"How much was this one?"

"We had the money. I checked with Dustin first. It was a necessary expense."

Travis grumbled.

"Of course, if you want, I can organize all of this..." Neil gestured to Travis's cluttered desk and the incomprehensible filing system on his computer.

"No way," Travis said.

"Fine," Neil shrugged. "But we lose money because of this."

"You can't prove that."

"I could if you let me get it all organized."

Travis shook his head. "Get back to work," he said. Neil rolled his eyes and went back out to the garage. The boy didn't belong there. He was the smartest of all of them. One of the reasons Travis was so mad about spending the money on the computer is that he and Dustin had been trying for the past few years to save up enough to send Neil to school. They had about two years tuition put away and they were about to start talking to Neil about picking out a school. They'd brought the subject up once several years ago and Neil wouldn't listen. He insisted he belonged with his brothers running the business. But Travis would make him listen next time. He didn't care what Neil did with his life, but he was going to do it with a college degree, that was for damn sure.

Travis sat behind his new computer and tried with all his might to hate it. But it worked so much faster that soon he'd forgotten he ever had that old one. He wrapped up the day's bookkeeping and was about to go climb under the hood of the Rebel when his phone rang. He picked it up.

"Lanier's."

"Travis, this is Luke." Luke Croney was one of Duane's friends, although the term "friend" was used in the loosest sense. He was more of a drinking buddy. "Duane's down at the courthouse being questioned by Wade."

"What the f*ck for?" Travis asked.

"I don't know. I just thought you'd want to know."

"Thanks." Travis hung up. He took a moment to breathe. Then he grabbed his keys and stormed out to his car.

Wade was an informal man. He'd been sheriff for thirty years and good at it. He took care of his town and gave folks plenty of leeway to settle their own problems. Travis marched right into his office where Duane was sitting in a chair across the desk from Wade.

"...And we got Jesse Hager says you were with him when he knocked off that filling station," Wade was saying. "But you're telling me you had nothing to do with it?"

Duane was about to answer, but Travis stepped in and put his hand on his shoulder. "What's going on?"

"Three men broke into Stan Simmons' filling station," Wade said, "vandalized it and stole the cash from the register. Which wasn't much. Jesse Hager must've been drunk because he let someone see him. We picked him up and he confessed. Says Duane, here, was part of it."

"Are you arresting him?" Travis said, his tone tense.

"No, I'm just trying to ask him some questions is all, Travis," the middle-aged sheriff said, his southern Missouri drawl thick. "After all, he does have a history of increasingly violent criminal behavior."

"For God's sake, Wade," Travis said, "the worst thing he's ever done is vandalize the courthouse lawn."

"That's the worst thing he's been convicted of. You and me both know he's done worse things than that."

"My brother may be a bit of a hell-raiser, but he ain't a thief!"

"Seems to me I recall him getting in a bit of trouble for stealing."

"I was in junior high!" Duane shouted.

"For Christ's sake, Wade," Travis said, "you got no reason to be harassing him like this. You may as well question me and Dustin and Neil...we're Laniers too. Everyone in this town knows if something criminal happens you go arrest the nearest Lanier. Ain't that right?"

Wade closed his eyes and pressed his lips together. "Travis, that ain't what this is about. I got an eye-witness..."

"Who's a f*cking criminal," Travis interrupted. "You're just going to take his word and the fact that Duane, here, is young and stupid and you're just going write him off, is that it?"

"Travis, you need to calm down and see this thing from my point of view."

"F*ck your point of view. Either arrest him or leave us the hell alone," Travis said.

Wade shook his head and looked away. "You'd best get hold of that temper, Travis, or else it's going to land you in jail. Duane," he said, turning to the youngest Lanier, "Your girlfriend’s given you an alibi and I ain't got evidence to lock you up. But for your own sake, I suggest you lay low and choose your friends more wisely."

Travis ushered Duane out of the courthouse by the collar of his jacket. They walked to his car and then Travis turned to face him.

"Did you do it?" he asked.

Duane rolled his eyes. "What do you think?"

Travis shoved his hands in his hair and squeezed his eyes shut. "Jesus Christ, Duane."

"I was drunk."

Travis gaped at him. He wondered if he'd ever been this stupid.

"Well maybe if you hadn't kicked me out," Duane said. "I was starving."

Travis ground his teeth in frustration. He didn't know what to do. Should he just drive away? "You got a place to stay?" he found himself asking.

"Sleeping on Luke's couch."

"Luke. Great."

"Well what do you want me to do?" Duane asked.

Travis sighed. "Look, Dustin don't want you in the house. But if there's anything you need..."

"I don't need anything from you, Travis. You can just go to hell."

"Fine," Travis said. "But listen, you've still got a job if you want it. You show up and work and you'll get paid. Okay?"

Duane just shrugged.

Travis patted him on the back and drove back to the garage.





Arden sat with Alice, Emma and Shannon at a back booth in Sweet Nothings. It was late, after the dinner rush, and they were relaxing with some tea and conversation. Arden felt so at home with these women. It was good to have friends. They made big problems seem small. Even Alice, with all of her marriage problems, seemed to breathe a little lighter when they were all together.

A frail looking pregnant woman waddled into the café. Arden recognized her at once, just from the descriptions she'd heard.

"Is that Travis's ex?" she asked.

Emma looked over her shoulder. "Yep. I met her yesterday. Excuse me." She stood and Shannon followed her.

Alice leaned forward. "You think that's Travis's baby?"

"No." Arden didn't just say it because she wanted it to be true. She knew Travis. He would marry her in a heartbeat if he found out it was his baby.

"What do you think he'll do about it?" Alice asked.

Arden shrugged. "He'll take care of her and the baby. They aren't his responsibility. But he'll do it anyway."

Alice nodded. She was going to ask another question but then Emma brought Tonya over. Shannon disappeared to the kitchen and came back with a plate of cucumber sandwiches. Tonya sat next to Alice and Emma pulled a chair up for herself. Emma introduced them all and Arden was surprised when Tonya didn't seem to recognize her. Maybe Travis didn't talk about her.

The four friends watched a few moments as Tonya inhaled two sandwiches and licked all the cream cheese off her fingers. She looked up and saw them all staring at her. "I haven't eaten all day," she said, her mouth crammed full.

Arden couldn't disguise her disgust. But she berated herself for not being more forgiving toward a woman who was that much pregnant. "So, Tonya," Arden said, "what brings you to town?"

"Well, I needed a place to go. My last man kicked me out and I couldn't think of anywhere to go."

"Don't you have any family?"

Tonya looked up and glared at her. "My mama lives over in Bixy. My aunt lives here. They ain't interested in taking me in."

"And Travis is?" Arden asked, lifting one condescending eyebrow.

Tonya glared harder. "I reckon that's my business and his."

Arden lifted her chin and looked down at her. Tonya dropped her gaze. Just then the bell over the front door jingled and heavy booted steps alerted them all to the presence of a man. Arden looked up and saw Travis entering the café. He was glancing around frantically until his eyes landed on their group. He seemed to exhale relief before darkening with anger. He marched towards them.

Tonya looked up at him and smiled.

"Ladies," Travis said by way of greeting. Then he turned to Tonya. "You should be at home resting. Let's go."

"I'm eating." She picked up another sandwich and shoved it in her face.

Emma grabbed another chair from a nearby table and shoved it at Travis. He took it reluctantly and sat down. He looked at Shannon. "Just tell me what I owe you for whatever she's eaten."

"Don't worry about it, Travis."

"No, I'll take care of it."

Shannon reached out and put her hand over his. She looked him sternly in the eye. "I said don't worry about it."

Arden watched his jaw tense. Then his gaze dropped. He nodded and murmured "thanks." Arden couldn't believe the nerve of this bitch putting Travis in such a horrible position. He would be running around town cleaning up after Tonya for however long she stayed. He was going to have to pay her hospital bills too. Arden wondered whether he'd gotten her a doctor yet.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Tonya asked, not looking at him.

"It's nine o'clock," he said. "I got off work at six. When I left you my car, I didn't dream you'd stay out all f*cking day."

"Oh, relax."

"Relax?" Travis took a deep slow breath and lowered his voice. "I was worried sick. You could have been dead in a ditch somewhere."

Tonya barked a laugh. "You only care about your stupid car."

Arden straightened at this. She felt her nails digging into her palms and realized her fists were clenched. Her lips twitched with the effort not to snarl. She glanced at Travis and realized he was staring at her, his eyes dark and uncharacteristically weary.

Emma reached out and rubbed Travis's back. He gave her a grateful smile.

"Ems, how did your date with Dustin go the other night?" Shannon asked all of a sudden. They'd been approaching the subject right before Tonya had shown up. Arden saw Travis's expression brighten and realized just how wonderfully in tune to people's emotions Shannon could be.

"Oh, just as wonderful as could be," Emma said. "He's amazing."

Travis beamed like a proud father. "Amazing? I would have settled for mildly entertaining. He's boring as hell around me."

Emma got all starry-eyed. "Oh, he's not boring at all. We just had the best time. We talked and talked."

Travis laughed.

"You talked?" Tonya asked. "With Dustin?"

"Yeah," Emma said. "I mean, I have to ask a lot of questions because he's afraid I'll be bored if he talks too much, but once he gets going, it's really nice. I think next week we'll have dinner with my parents. I'm anxious for them to get to know him."

Travis grabbed her around the shoulders in a side hug. "I am so happy for you two."

"So?" Emma said, looking up at him. "Has he said anything about me?"

"Ah, that's privileged information," Travis said, grinning.

"Uh-huh. Like you're not going to go back home and tell him what I said just now?"

"I'm sorry, babe. That's how it works. He needs the ego-boost worse than you do. Plus, my first loyalty must always be to my brother."

Emma rolled her eyes, but she kept on smiling.

Arden loved seeing how proud Travis was of Dustin. He was genuinely happy for him and not envious at all.

Tonya finally finished eating and Travis walked her out to the car. He'd walked from his house, so he would drive them both back. Arden jumped up and followed them out. She caught up to Travis before he got in his car. She grabbed his sleeve and he turned to face her, automatically smiling when he saw her.

"Can I have a moment?" she asked.

"Sure." Travis tossed the keys to Tonya and then closed the door. Tonya started up the car and Travis and Arden stepped inside the front door of the café.

Arden stepped close to him and looked up at him. "What can I do to help?" She'd half expected him to reject her altogether or be insulted. She watched patiently as a wealth of emotions played across his face and finally he met her eyes.

"You can take her shopping," he said, his voice low and quiet.

Arden nodded. "Absolutely. I can take her tomorrow after school."

Travis nodded and looked away. "I'll give you money. She needs clothes and woman stuff...you know, soap and hairbrushes and whatever the hell else there is."

Arden laughed. "We women do like to practice good hygiene."

His lips turned up in that cute, half-grin of his.

"What else does she need?"

Travis shrugged and looked away again. "I don't really know yet. I'm taking her to the doctor Friday morning. I guess she's going to need baby stuff, but I can't be any more specific than that never having had a baby in the house before."

"I'll get some things. How long will she be staying with you?"

Travis looked at her, then, with such a heart-wrenching expression of despair that she wanted to take him in her arms and rock him like a baby. "I don't know," he said, his voice cracking slightly with emotion.

"Oh, Travis," Arden whispered. She took hold of the front of his jacket, stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek, lingering for a few seconds. She felt him catch his breath and lean ever-so-slightly into her kiss, so that when she pulled away, he followed her and rested his forehead against hers. He took her hands in his.

"I'm so tired," he said.

"I know, sweetheart," she whispered. She gave his hands a squeeze and prayed he wouldn't ask more of her right now because she wouldn't have been able to tell him no even if she'd wanted to.

He didn't. He held her hands for a few more moments. Then he kissed her on the forehead and walked away.

Arden leaned back against the wall and waited for her heart rate to return to normal.