Not a Chance (Sweet Nothings)

chapter SIXTEEN



Travis's bad Sunday wasn't over. He went to bed that night thinking that it was. He'd forced himself to call Kristen and they had a date for tomorrow evening. Which meant he would finally get laid, something he'd been deprived of for far too long. He could always count on Kristen to put out. She was as desperate as him. And she had just been rejected by Brody Jessop again. So she and Travis could soothe each other's broken hearts. Again.

Travis had gone to sleep determined to wake up the next morning and find the good in his life. But as soon as he drifted off he dreamt of Tonya. She was young like when they'd first met. Sixteen. But her eyes were the angry eyes of the older Tonya. She was keying his car and slashing the tires. She was on a full rampage, destroying everything Travis owned and he was powerless to stop her. There was a click that sounded like a door closing. Somewhere in his subconscious he recognized this as a real sound and his dream began dissipating.

He felt the edge of his bed sink a bit and the springs creak. Dustin was the only person in the house. Why would he be sitting next to Travis?

Slowly, Travis opened his eyes and saw Tonya looking down at him.

"Hey, baby," she said in her thick, Kennett, Missouri accent.

Travis jerked upright and let out a sharp scream. "What the f*ck?" He stared at her in amazement and horror.

Dustin must have heard him yell because he stumbled into his room and flipped on the light switch. Travis threw his arm up over his eyes.

"Tonya?" Dustin said, his voice sleep scratchy.

"Hey, there, little brother," Tonya said, cheerfully. As though she weren't the anti-Christ come to destroy them all.

"Uh...hey," Dustin said. He was useless around women.

Travis squinted, getting his eyes adjusted to the light. Tonya sat before him, a harbinger of destruction. She was the answer to his constant prayers. God's way of saying, "No, Travis. You cannot be happy. You must sink into the black abyss of your past sins for all eternity." And she smiled at him as though he should be happy to see her.

"Are you really here?" he asked. "Is this really happening?"

"Yep," she said cheerfully. And then Travis watched her hand as it journeyed downward and rested on her incredibly round belly.

"Dear God," Travis said.

"Oh, don't worry," Tonya said. "I ain't due for another couple of weeks."

Travis gaped at her in horror. "Please. Please go away."

Tonya stopped smiling. "That's just mean, Travis."

He couldn't bring himself to apologize. His future sat in front of him and it was bleak. It had taken him nearly four months to get rid of her last time she'd come looking for help. Now she was pregnant. No telling what she needed or how long she would stay.

She used to be beautiful. To Travis, anyway. She'd been a tomboy. She wore her bright, auburn hair in braids. Her arms and legs were long and strong, her body was lean. They used to swim in the river together and go cliff diving. They would party with their friends and then sneak out into the woods and have sex under the stars. He'd loved her with all of his heart because he knew no other way to love. The divorce had nearly destroyed him.

Now he looked at her and saw nothing of the young woman he'd fallen in love with. By all accounts she was still a young woman. But a hard life full of sin and dissipation had aged her prematurely. There were lines on her face and her hair was lank and lusterless. Her teeth had seen better days and, though her belly was round from the pregnancy, the rest of her body was painfully thin. Malnourished. Bones protruding everywhere.

A few minutes later Tonya, Dustin and Travis sat around the kitchen table drinking coffee.

"So after he kicked me out," Tonya said, finishing up the story she'd been telling them, "I couldn't think of what to do. And I remembered Travis saying how if I ever needed anything, he'd be there to help. And so here I am."

Travis felt like laughing and crying at the same time. Dustin was in shock, staring at Tonya like she was an alien. Tonya smiled at Dustin and reached over to pat his hand. "How are you doing, sweet thing?" she asked.

Dustin slowly looked to Travis and then back to Tonya. "I've been better," he said.

"You're so cute," she said, dimpling at him. Then she turned to Travis. "I know you weren't expecting me and you got your life all put together. But I ain't got nowhere else to go. I got no money. I took the bus here and had to walk from the station. I got six more dollars left in my purse. And with the baby on the way, I just don't know what to do."

Travis burst out laughing, then. Dustin stared at him in horror. Tonya stared at him in confusion. "I'm sorry," Travis said, still laughing. He pressed his palms into his eyes and forced himself to take several deep breaths. Finally he got control of himself. He still felt like laughing, but he'd managed to stop. "I'm sorry," he said, his tone more serious. "Okay...back to this Elliot guy..."

"Allen," Tonya said, correcting him.

"Whatever," Travis said. "He's the father?"

"No. We found out he's not the father. And that's how come he kicked me out. I just told you all of this."

"Yeah. So, who is the father?"

Tonya looked away and jutted her jaw out like she did when she was frustrated. "I ain't stupid," she said. "I know you don't want me here. But I need help. You can't put me out when I got a baby coming any day now."

Travis laughed again. "I just asked who the father was."

"Because you want to find him and make him take me. Well I ain't telling you. You don't know him anyway."

"I should think not. You finished screwing everyone I know about six years ago."

She glared at him. It used to have a chilling effect on him, but now he found himself laughing again.

Dustin slapped his hands down on the table. "Okay," he said, turning to Tonya. "Travis is in hysterics and you must be exhausted. You go on and take his bed and we'll work through this in the morning."

"Thank you, Dustin," she said, shooting a glare at Travis, who didn't notice.

When she was gone, Travis laid his forehead on the table with a thud and laced his fingers behind his head. "My life is over," he groaned.

"You're more melodramatic than a teenage girl."

Travis laughed again. "That's what Arden says, too."

"Don't mention that name. One woman-problem at a time. You need to get some sleep."

Travis nodded best he could with his head on the table. After a few moments, he felt calm returning. He was so tired that there was no room for anxiety. He sat up and leaned back in his chair. "Dustin," he said, "You stay as far away from this as you can."

"You're my brother, Travis."

"I know that. But you stay out of this. I'll take care of it. I promise."

Dustin stared at him for a moment before nodding. Then he went to bed and Travis made his way to the couch where he barely slept at all so that by morning he was even more exhausted than before.



It was the last week of school before Christmas vacation and Arden was hustling to get all of her tests graded. She took them over to Sweet Nothings at 3:30 Monday afternoon, just as soon as school let out. She sat in a corner booth and sipped coffee while she graded. Shannon had stopped to visit for a few minutes before returning to the kitchen.

She was down to the last test when she looked up and saw Kristen Miller walking toward her. She was wearing scrubs and carrying a fake couture purse. Her black hair was pulled back in a low ponytail. She stopped at Arden's table.

"Arden?" she said hesitantly. "I'm Kristen Miller...I don't think we've ever really met." She held out her hand and Arden shook it. "Do you have a minute?"

Arden gestured to the seat across from her. Kristen sat. Arden tried to think friendly thoughts. Her initial reaction at seeing Kristen was to want to claw her eyes out. It took Arden a moment to realize that it was jealousy, or some like irrational emotion. She remembered that Travis had mentioned Kristen once or twice and for some reason Arden felt territorial about him. With that realization in mind, she dismissed the emotions and pushed them to the back of her thoughts.

"I was just wondering," Kristen said, "if there was anything going on between you and Travis Lanier?"

Arden opened her mouth to answer.

"Because," Kristen said, "you know how the rumor mills get going. And I heard some things."

"I..."

"It's okay if there is. It's just, he asked me out for tonight and I was going to go. But if you have feelings for him...I mean...you have the prior claim...so I just wanted to check with you."

"No," Arden said, quickly trying to get a word in. "No prior claim here. Just baseless rumors. You know how it is." She smiled, but seemed to have failed to put Kristen at ease.

"He's a really good man," Kristen said.

"I agree. But I have no feelings beyond friendship for him. Have fun on your date."

"Oh." Kristen seemed surprised at the dismissal. But she stood and thanked Arden, shaking her hand once more.

A few minutes later Arden realized she'd been staring down at the last test since Kristen had left. She shook herself, took up her red pen and finished the job. Maybe she would call up Nick, see if he wanted to have a romantic evening at home. If the thought didn't turn her stomach, she would have done just that.

She was about to get up to leave when Emma arrived, plopping down in the booth across from her. "Guess what?" she asked.

"What?" Arden replied.

"I've got a date with Dustin tonight."

Dammit, Arden thought. Everyone's getting action but me. "That is so great!"

"There's more. He kissed me yesterday. Can you believe it?"

Arden raised her brows in shock. "No. I can't believe it. Was it good?"

"It was amazing," Emma said. She leaned back and gazed into the distance. "It was just like in the movies."

"Yes, well. Keep your wits about you," Arden said. "There's more to relationships than romance."

Emma pressed her lips together. "You are such a downer. Lighten up already."

Arden's jaw dropped slightly.

"There's more gossip," Emma said. "Do you want to hear? Or are you much too sensible for such nonsense."

"What's with the sarcasm? Of course I want to hear it."

"Okay. Travis's ex-wife showed up last night at his house."

Arden felt cold inside. "What? Are you serious?"

"Yes. And apparently she's nine months pregnant...ready to pop any minute."

God, Arden thought. Poor Travis. "Is he okay?" she asked.

Emma shrugged. "I'll find out tonight when I go out with Dustin."

"I wonder if he'll cancel his date with Kristen?"

"He asked Kristen out?" Emma said. "Oh, good. I hope they start dating seriously. They really look good together."

Arden kept her features composed. "I'm sure they do."

Emma fidgeted for a minute. "And you're not jealous?"

"I don't have feelings for Travis," she said, and even she thought she sounded cold.

Emma pressed her lips together and nodded. She looked uncertain. Then she leaned forward and spoke in more intimate tones. "No one says anything, Arden, because we know you won't listen. But you and Nick?"

"What about me and Nick?"

"It's just not right, Arden. Alice and Vince are on the verge of divorce and they have more passion in their lives than you and Nick."

Arden sat up straight and lifted one brow.

"Don't attempt to get magisterial with me, Arden," Emma said. "I'm saying this as your best friend because the wedding is coming up in May and I'm scared to death I'll regret never having said it."

"Nick and I have plenty of passion. We just don't air it in public, that's all."

"Well, then, how come you look at Travis like you do?"

"How's that?"

"Like you just saw sunlight for the first time. He's so clearly in love with you, Arden and I really think you have feelings for him. Maybe you just don't want to admit it..."

"This is very brave of you, Emma, talking to me like this."

Emma looked startled. Then afraid. And then a slow, gradual smile transformed her. "What are you going to do? Stop being my friend?"

Arden's jaw dropped. "You've gotten awfully cheeky, lately, Emma."

"Well I'm not your parents. I can't be cowed into submission by your arch looks. You don't scare me, Arden. And I'm doing you a favor. I'm pointing out to you that you're in a loveless, dead-end relationship with Nick. And whether or not you care about Travis, you need to get out. You're only twenty-three. You've got plenty of time to find someone better."

"I don't want to find someone better," Arden said. "I want to marry Nick. That's my plan. I will not entertain any other possibilities. I would think you would appreciate my sense of commitment."

Emma sighed and Arden wondered why it mattered to her so much. It wasn't likely Arden's marrying Nick was going to affect anyone's lives. They practically lived together as it was and they weren't going anywhere. "Your commitment is to be commended," Emma said. "But I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy," Arden said, a hint of defensiveness escaping her tightly locked box of self-control.

"You look happy when you see Travis."

"That's enough, Emma. If you must know, I like Travis. He's a good man and we quickly forged a friendship that I don't want to lose. But I don't have any feelings for him beyond that. Subject closed."

Emma sat back and nodded. "Okay. I'll leave you to it, then. I'll see you Friday, if not before."

Arden waved goodbye and then massaged her temples with her finger tips. She was getting a headache and she sort of felt like crying. She finished up her grading, packed her things and went home.



Kristen Miller was one of those strikingly beautiful women. She was tall, only three inches shorter than Travis. She was very curvaceous, strong and healthy looking, but still feminine. She had startling, blue eyes and long, silky black hair. This hair now hung on either side of Travis's face as Kristen moved on top of him in the back seat of his car up at Hangman's Lookout.

The moonlight shone bright through the car window. Kristen's shirt hung open and her breasts, still confined by her lacy, black bra, bounced gently with her movements. Her hands were braced against his bare chest. She'd ripped his shirt open, only moments before, sending buttons flying in all directions.

Travis reached up and cupped her right breast, sending another surge of desire down his abdomen. God, this felt good. All of his troubles vanished in the wake of their rising passion.

"Oh, Brody," Kristen gasped.

Travis laughed. "Wrong name, honey."

She opened her eyes. "Sorry," she gasped. And then her eyes rolled back shut.

He sat up, then, grabbed her hips and pulled her harder against him, taking a moment to enjoy the sensation.

"Don't stop me, Travis, I'm almost there," she said, her voice pitched high.

"Look at me, Kris."

She did, although clearly with great effort.

"Who are you with?" Travis asked.

"You," she said.

"Who are you with?"

"Travis," she gasped as he moved against her.

"What am I?" he asked.

"A sex god," she said, grinning and throwing her head back.

"That's right, baby." He was losing his breath now. She was so hot and hungry. "Who are you not with?"

"Brody," she answered.

"Why's that?"

"Because he doesn't deserve me," she whispered.

"That's right." He pressed her hips down and arched his up and she started moving again, slow at first but gradually faster. He nibbled on her ear and then, because he knew she needed to hear the words, he whispered, "You are so beautiful...and smart...and sexy...and kind..." and every adjective he could think of until he lost the ability of speech and she dug her nails into his back and cried out, "Travis!" and he came a split second after her.

They clung to each other for a few minutes afterward, until their bodies ceased trembling. He kissed her softly and stroked her hair. She did the same with him. Then she climbed off of him and started buttoning her shirt. She shimmied her skirt back down her hips and began the search for her panties.

They bundled up in their coats and stood outside, leaning against the front of his car and smoking cigarettes. The view from up there was amazing. The moonlight glimmered off the creek that wound in the valley down below.

"We should get married," Kristen said softly.

Travis looked at her and waited for her to meet his eyes. "I've thought about it," he said. He took one last puff off his cigarette, flicked it to the ground and then threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her in for a kiss. A long, soft, quiet kiss. When it ended he turned again to face the view and lit up another cigarette. "You let go of this thing you have for Brody. I'd be honored to marry you."

Kristen laughed softly. "You're so damned sweet, you know that?"

He glanced at her, a half-grin on his lips.

"What about you?" she asked. "I've been hearing things about you and Arden Butler of all people."

It was his turn to laugh. "Yeah. Being with you like this I realize how ridiculous it is."

"Well, I met her today," Kristen said. "She's a lovely person." She was unable to disguise the sarcasm.

Travis glanced at her. "She grows on you."

Kristen laughed. "If you say so." She lifted her cigarette to her lips. "I guess the heart wants what it wants."

"Well, sometimes the heart can't have what it wants. So you tell it to be a big boy and find something better." He turned his gaze to her. She really was a beautiful woman. They'd have an amazing time together. It made perfect sense. But the timing wasn't quite right. They couldn't go into a relationship having such strong feelings for other people. They'd have to get past those feelings first. And the chances of that happening were slim. Kristen had been crying over Brody for three years now.

Besides, Travis had other responsibilities to settle first. He pushed thoughts of Tonya out of his head. He'd gone home at lunch earlier that day and she was still asleep. When she'd awakened, they'd fought for about an hour at which point Travis threw up his hands and went back to work. Now he was with Kristen and he didn't want to think about anything else.

She looked up at him and they kissed again. He pulled her up against him and broke off the kiss. He grinned. "We're liable to have to go back for another round."

She beamed up at him. "If we do, let's find a bed. I'm getting too old for this back seat business."

He sighed. "I'd love to go back to your place, but I hate to leave Dustin alone with Tonya."

Kristen shrugged. "You don't have to stay the night. You can just come over for a little while."

Travis looked at her for a few seconds. Then he burst out laughing. "What are we even talking about. Of course I'm going to come over. Like I'd ever say no to more sex."

Kristen laughed. She gave him a warm side-hug and then they got back in Travis's car and went to her apartment. Travis meant to go home later that night, but he fell asleep in Kristen's arms.