“I want this,” I say as I take him deep into my mouth. I look up at him as my mouth starts to pull away. The grip he has on my hair tightens as I pull him in again. My hands are spread out on his legs. My nails are digging into his thighs. I look at him again, my eyes pleading for him to give me this little fantasy and he does.
Liam takes a tight hold of my head in both hands and moves me back and forth. I hold onto him for stability, fearing that I might fall forward if I’m not careful. Liam moans as his hips thrust into me. I take everything he gives me and watch as his face morphs into ecstasy.
In the blink of an eye, I’m on my back with my panties being torn away. “Yes,” I whisper heavily as Liam buries himself deep within me. My leg is thrown over his shoulder as he pounds rapidly. Our bodies are slick with sweat, our thrusts matching our every breath. He holds my face, his hand spread out over my cheek while his thumb hovers over my mouth. My tongue darts out, licking the pad of his thumb as his eyes roll back. My hands grip the comforter as he moves in and out, increasing our tempo. When he grazes my clit, I scream out, begging for more.
“God, Josie, I’m going to fucking blow.”
I want him to know I’m there with him, ready and waiting. I grab his ass and push him into me. He grunts, slamming harder until he stills, dropping my leg immediately. It aches, but I welcome the pain.
“Holy fuck,” he says as his lips move over my skin until he’s reached my lips. “We haven’t done that in a long time.”
My fingers run up and down his back as he lies on top of me. I don’t want him to move, but we need to clean up. He pulls out, moving just off to the side, leaving our legs intertwined.
“Thank you for letting me have my fantasy.”
He scoffs. “You know I’ll do anything for you, but there are times when I worry. I don’t want you to think I want that lifestyle back.”
“I don’t,” I say as I kiss his forehead.
“Good,” he sighs, “Because there’s something I need to tell you.”
There have been many times in my life when my mouth has gotten the best of me. Case in point: I just made love to my wife and the first ridiculous thing I have to say is that I need to tell her something. This, of course, is after I tell her that I don’t want my rocker lifestyle back, which isn’t exactly true. The booze, women and long nights isn’t something I crave, but the scene is. I miss being surrounded by the music, the artists and the vibe that Los Angeles has to offer. It’s not something I can explain, or even delve into. It’s an itch, a longing.
Resting on my hand, I brush the sweat-laden hair away from Josie’s face. Everyone changes over the years, except my wife. Realistically, I know she has, but in my eyes I still see the girl I fell in love with so many years ago. Her love for me has never wavered, even when I didn’t deserve it. That’s what I keep telling myself as I’m looking into her soulful blue eyes, preparing myself for the anger and hurt, but hoping for acceptance and encouragement.
“Let’s take a bath,” I tell her, losing the nerve I’ve been trying to build up. She doesn’t balk nor does she agree as I jump out of the bed and walk into the bathroom. I turn on the water, letting the loud vibration of the tub filling drown out my thoughts.
Josie’s fingers thread through the back of my hair. I’m in need of a cut, something I’ve been putting off because of our baby-making schedule. She comes to stand in front of me and images of taking her again run rampant through my mind. I kiss her softly and hold her face to mine. When I pull back, I see nothing but confusion and fear. Guiding her into the water, I maneuver my girl so she’s between my legs. My fingers dip into the water and I let them dangle above her as the warm water drips onto her skin.
Taking a deep breath, I ready myself. “When my grandmother introduced me to Harrison, he was the drummer of a house band for a bar called Metro. He took me there, and that’s where I got my start. It’s where my grandfather got his start too.”
I pause and remember the day I met Harrison at my grandmother’s party. He had a beanie on his head even back then. “Trixie, the owner, she was this spitfire of a woman. Agents flocked to her bar to sign the next big act.”
“Is that where you met Sam?”
I stiffen at the sound of Sam’s name coming off Josie’s lips. Sam has caused so much damage and continues to do so even though she’s no longer here. “And JD,” I say, avoiding the thought of Sam as long as I can. “Did I ever tell you that my grandmother was our groupie?”
Josie shakes her head. “You’ve never really discussed her.”
“I should. I wish you could’ve met her.”
She turns slightly in my arms. “Things could’ve been different.” I kiss her again. I know the kind of different she would’ve wanted, and it doesn’t match mine. “Why are you telling me this?”