Chapter Twenty-Eight
F*ck Buddies
Elizabeth
I walked down the hall towards Grant’s office marveling at how much had happened since the first time I was here over a year ago. I had fallen in love with the man. I had my heart crushed. I gave birth to his child, and now I was showing up at his office for a booty call.
Well, he thought of it as a booty call. I thought of it as me being desperate and not very smart. I knew things weren’t right between us. I was almost to my breaking point with it. I knew we couldn’t go on the way we were. My heart was sure to be trampled again if we did.
There was no way Grant could love me again after everything that happened. Regardless of the fact that he said terribly cruel things to me, I should have told him about Genevieve. If I had, maybe we would be able to move on from here. Unfortunately, it will always be between us because I didn’t try hard enough. Because I hid behind my hurt and fears.
That still wasn’t stopping me from being an idiot and constantly seeking out his affections though. Sometimes the heart wanted what it wanted. And mine wanted him, even though it was afraid to find out exactly what he thought of me, which was probably why I hadn’t made time to bring it up lately.
I knocked on the partially opened door and walked in. I closed and locked the door behind me before turning and taking him in. Grant was on his phone and was facing out the window, arguing with someone whom I did not envy in that moment. His voice was terse, and I knew whomever was on the other end was most likely shitting his or her pants.
He turned and granted me a heart-stopping smile. Encouraged by his reaction to me, I put extra sway in my hips and walked to him behind his desk. I ran my hand down his tie and hooked my finger in his waistband, pulling him closer to me.
“Just do what I paid you to do. If you can’t, I’ll find someone who can. It is as simple as that. You have until the end of the week to make it happen.”
He hung up the phone and quirked his eyebrow. “To what do I owe this pleasure, Ms. Ward?”
I had to admit, a shiver worked up my spine when he called me that. It reminded me so much of our first official meeting, right here in this office. I had so many vivid images of what I wanted to do to him that day, and now I was going to make it happen.
“Jennie is with Vivi until three o’clock and I’m done for the day.” I shrugged and slowly began undoing his belt buckle. “Madison has cleared your schedule until then.”
I pulled his belt from his pants and then worked on his tie. With that on the floor as well, I started undoing each button on his shirt, all the while holding his gaze. I had a strong desire to lick his chest and abs all over and his clothing was in my way.
“I see. And you’d like to spend the next hour or so naked with me?”
“Mmmm,” I purred in my throat. That was definitely the case.
“Well, all you had to do was ask, love.” He gripped the hem of my sundress and pulled it roughly over my head. “Oh f*ck. Going commando now you naughty little vixen?”
“I planned well.” He trailed his hands up my outer thighs and over my hips. He rested his fists on the desk on either side of me and leaned in, forcing me to lean back on the desk.
“Open wide baby. I missed lunch.”
I gulped and did as I was told. In true Grant fashion, I had quickly lost control over this scene. I couldn’t find it in me to complain though.
Grant sat in his leather chair and rolled up to my spread p-ssy that was now wet and open for him. His fingers explored me before his nose tenderly ran along my slit.
“I love the way you smell when you’re aroused.”
My heart rate picked up, and my chest rose and fell with each heavy breath I took. Only Grant could get me this worked up.
His tongue delved into me, and he placed a hot, opened mouth kiss on my p-ssy, making me writhe against his face in sheer pleasure. Within moments, I was clutching the edge of the desk and straining towards his mouth, searching for my release. Grant slammed two fingers into me roughly, and my head thrashed with the intensity of what he was doing to me. He pumped hard and fast at the same time he sucked my * into his mouth, and I unraveled. My body tightened, locking his head between my legs while my fingers tugged on his hair.
I kept my mouth shut and tried to stifle my moans as best I could, but there were some things that were out of my control when it came to Grant. That was for sure.
I opened my eyes and propped myself up on my elbows so I could see Grant. He sat back in his chair and slowly unzipped his pants. He pushed down his briefs enough to free himself. I watched with a dry mouth as he stroked himself a few times, squeezing the head of his cock so that pre-come seeped from the tip. He let go and grabbed a condom from his wallet before rolling it down his length.
“Hop on, Elizabeth. I want you to ride me hard.”
I slid off the desk and moved to straddle him, but he stopped me with a shake of his head. He twirled his finger in a circle, indicating I should turn and face the other way. With my back to him, I let him guide me down over his cock until he was fully seated inside me. I ground my hips down over him and his hands tensed on my waist.
“You keep that up and you’re going to make me come before I’m ready.”
“We wouldn’t want that,” I breathed as I lifted up and then slowly slid back down his length.
“Not if you want to come again.”
I kept my legs closed between his, making it an even tighter fit as I used leg muscles that were sure to be sore later to ride him the way he wanted.
“That’s it,” he panted and his hands moved up to cup my breasts. He knew better than to stimulate them too much thanks to the breastfeeding. I still enjoyed him lightly fondling them though. As with everything he did, he did it perfectly.
I leaned back against him as we both worked each other over. His hips pumped up as mine ground down. We were both mindless and searching for release with passion, and an intensity that we could only have with each other. He grunted and groaned with each thrust, and I panted and moaned.
“Grant!” I shouted when I felt it wash over me in a long thick wave that had me gripping the arms of his chair.
He thrust into me one last time before he let out a deep growl and stilled himself inside me.
I laid my head on his shoulder and basked in the afterglow while his hands lightly brushed over my flushed skin. Too soon for my liking, he was lifting me up, so he could dispose of the condom. We both got our clothing righted, and I sat on his desk in front of him while he massaged my feet and calves.
“Was that your first time having sex in your office?” I asked and immediately felt like banging my head against the wall. I wasn’t even sure where the question had come from. Judging from the fact that his hands stilled in their motions, I knew the answer.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, Elizabeth,” he answered with a blank face and then continued massaging me.
“I see,” I croaked out. I was suddenly a little anxious to leave.
“If it makes you feel better, the other times weren’t nearly as gratifying as this was.”
Leave it to a man to say the wrong thing at a sensitive time like this. Especially since I was already a little raw about our arrangement lately.
“No, it doesn’t make me feel better. You know what, just forget it. I’m sorry I asked. You’re right, I didn’t want to know. I didn’t need to know.”
“I can’t change my past, no matter how much I might want to. You knew my history, Elizabeth.”
Of course he’d want to change his past. I was part of his past. He probably wanted to change me. God, this just kept getting worse and worse.
“Let’s try a lighter subject,” he suggested with a tentative smile and rolled his chair a little closer. “How has work been your first week back? You haven’t talked about it much.”
“It’s okay.” I picked at my dress and avoided his eyes.
“Just okay? What aren’t you telling me?” He gripped my knee and forced my attention to him. I hated how well he knew me.
“Nothing really. It’s just I really miss Vivi. It’s harder than I thought to leave her all the time. Even if it is just part time.”
“Elizabeth, if it’s too much for you, say so. You don’t need to work, love. I’ll take care of you and Genevieve.”
Of course he would. That was the only reason why he was putting up with me. Because of Vivi. And the only reason why he was sleeping with me was because I was convenient. Why go out and seek random sexual partners when you had a stupid, na?ve woman living with you?
“It’s only been a week since we hired Jennie. I’m sure it will get easier.”
“If it doesn’t, let me know. I mean it. We’ll figure it out together.”
“Okay.” I nodded my head.
Grant looked at his watch and pushed his chair back. “Thank you for stopping by today, Elizabeth. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.”
Well then. It looked like I was being dismissed. I’m not sure why I was surprised. It wasn’t as if we were a couple or anything. Stupid me should have left when we were done instead of overstaying my welcome.
“I’ll see you later?”
“Yes. I should be home for dinner tonight.”
“Good. I’m trying a new recipe tonight and wanted someone else’s feedback.” I decided to end this scene before he realized how hurt I was by being dismissed. “I better go. Bye.” I headed for the door, and even though I shouldn’t be, I was still surprised he wasn’t at least walking me out.
“Goodbye, love.”
As soon as the door closed behind me, I walked as quickly as I could past Madison’s thankfully empty desk and to the elevator. I stabbed the button and waited for a car to arrive while the bitchy receptionist gave me the stink eye. I needed out of here before I bawled my eyes out.
?????
I pushed the stroller up to Travis’ door and rang the bell. Maya opened with a huge smile on her face. Then she immediately went to Vivi and pulled her out of her seat.
How did I know that’s what had Maya so excited? It surely wasn’t me. It was always Vivi. She and Travis stopped by all the time. Sometimes I thought Vivi was the only reason why I saw Maya as much as I did.
“Look at how cute you look today!” She exclaimed and placed kisses all over Vivi’s face. Vivi latched onto a chunk of hair on either side of her head and Maya screeched. “Shit that hurts! Help me!”
I extricated Maya’s head from my daughter’s hands and laughed the whole time. “Serves you right. Never leave your hair unattended with a baby close by.”
“Whatever. I have this really expensive coffee that Travis had flown in from France for me that I thought we could try.”
“So you’re living with him now and he’s flying coffee in from France? Wow. This seems serious.”
“Oh please. He was just showing off about the coffee thing. I tried to tell him he couldn’t do such an outrageous thing and he lives to prove me wrong. What can I say?”
We sat in the living room, and I poured us each a cup of coffee while she played with Vivi. I sipped the hot liquid and couldn’t help but moan as the exquisite flavor washed over my taste buds. “Damn. That’s good coffee.”
“Whatever you do, don’t tell Trav. I’m going to play it off like I’m drinking it only because he went to so much trouble.”
“Are you nuts? If you like it, he’ll always import it for you. I’m sorry, hon, but I want more. You spoiled me today and I’m going to always expect it.”
“We’ll see. I don’t like encouraging his ostentatious behavior. I love him, E. I really do, but I don’t want someone who is all flashy and throws his money around. I just want a normal guy.”
“Honey, Travis is a normal guy. He just happens to have more money at his disposal than most. Grant once told me not to let money come between us. He said relationships were based on give and take. As long as he was giving me what I needed and vice versa, that was all that mattered. You should listen to that advice. Travis is used to spending large amounts of money on things that we aren’t. And he likes to lavish you with things to show you he cares.”
“That Grant. He’s a pretty smart fella. How are things between you two lovebirds anyway?”
“Nice try with the change of subject.”
“What?” She asked with mock innocence. “I’m just really curious what’s going on at casa Morgan.”
“It’s absolutely dreadful.” I broke down and started crying.
“E, what’s the matter? Last time I was over there you two seemed to be getting along so well. Do I need to cut off his balls?”
“No,” I let out a watery laugh. “That would be doing a serious injustice to the world if you took away those beauties.”
“Gross.” Maya wrinkled her nose and pretended to cover up Vivi’s ears. “You’re going to taint your daughter with that kind of talk.”
“Seriously though, it’s just that things are so screwed up between us. There is so much negative history and even though I think I want more from him, I’m not sure it is possible at this point. How could he ever forgive me for keeping his child from him? And he still thinks that Travis and I had that affair. If it wasn’t for that fact that Vivi looked so much like him, he’d probably question the paternity.”
“I wouldn’t go that far, E. He’s a smart man and I’m sure he figured out there was nothing between you and Travis all on his own. I can’t believe you guys haven’t talked about all that in the last oh I don’t know three months since you’ve lived there.”
“I know,” I sighed. “It’s just that between the baby and work and the sex, there isn’t much time for anything other than sleep. I’m sleep deprived most of the time and our schedules are completely different with his heavy caseload. I honestly think he is fine with us being ‘f*ck buddies’ and nothing more, though. You know Grant, M. He would push a conversation for more if in fact he wanted more with me. He doesn’t deal with situations he doesn’t want to.” His words from earlier in our relationship came back to me.
I threw myself back on the couch and covered my eyes with my arm. “It’s hopeless. Maybe this is my penance. A life of unrequited love for my sins.”
“Oh please.” She snorted and shook her head. “If we were all forced with penance for our sins that would not be yours. You need to talk to him instead of waiting for him to bring it up.”
“I know.”
“I’m not sure you do. E, talk to him. Actually tell him how you feel and see where he stands. You will always wonder if you don’t. And I’d hate to see that type of regret sit on your shoulders and eat away at you. Think of it this way, could you honestly spend the rest of your life lacking the love and affection you know he is capable of giving you? Could you live with only stolen moments of intimacy and not knowing if he truly loves you?”
“No. That sounds absolutely dreadful.”
“So…” She gave me her disapproving look that I hated so much.
“I’m going to talk to him. We’re supposed to be going to some fundraiser this weekend. I’ll talk to him then. We’ll be guaranteed for no interruptions. I can’t keep hiding. I know it is counterproductive and I need to stop being scared.”
“Good. Now change my goddaughter. She smells ripe.” Maya passed Vivi over to me, and I burst out laughing.
Now that I had a plan, I felt a lot more optimistic.
?????
Grant
Maya walked into my office, and I sat back in my chair wondering to what I owed this unpleasant surprise. By the look on her face, I had surely done something wrong. Again.
“Whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it wrong,” she announced once she arrived in front of my desk.
“Come again?”
“With Elizabeth. Whatever it is you think you’re doing to show her you care, it isn’t working. Oh, and never ask a woman to marry you because it makes sense.” She crossed her arms and tapped her foot.
“Maybe we should start at the beginning and explain to me what you’re doing here.”
“Ugh. You really are dense sometimes. I just had a conversation with Elizabeth in which she told me that all you do is f*ck her brains out and she thinks that is all you want from her. She believes you’ll never be able to forgive her for hiding Vivi from you and that you still think she had an affair with Travis. I can’t believe you two haven’t done more than the bump and grind all these months. Stop thinking with your dick and start talking with your mouth. God!” She threw her arms up in the air exasperatedly.
“Whoa. She told you all that?”
“Uh, yeah!”
“I thought for sure I was making headway with her. We’ve been acting like a family. We sleep together. We spend time together. I show her affection.” I held up my hand to keep her silent when her mouth opened to speak. “Outside of the bedroom. How could she not know I still love her?”
“Have you told her?”
“Well, maybe not with words.” I hesitated for a moment while I thought back on the fact that I hadn’t actually said the words.
“I see it’s starting to make sense to you. Now look, you need a new game plan and you need me.” She pointed her thumb towards her chest.
I sighed and leaned back in my chair again. I supposed it wouldn’t hurt to have more reinforcements in pulling off my plan. And she had proved she could be a worthy adversary.
“I’ve been putting a plan in motion for the last couple weeks. I’m going to have to make a few adjustments given this new information, but I think it will still work.”
“Ooooh! Plan? I want in.” She rubbed her hands together, and it made me smirk. I really did like Maya, and what a good friend she was to Elizabeth.
I proceeded to tell her every last detail and how I thought we could modify it.
“Oh my God. It’s perfect.” She waved her hands in front of her face. “I think I’m going to cry. Shit. You’re so romantic.”
“Well, thank you.” I adjusted my tie and sat up straighter. I enjoyed compliments as much as the next person.
“Let’s get to planning!”
We spent the next couple hours finalizing everything in hopes of securing Elizabeth’s place by my side forever.