Chapter Twenty-Two
Regret
Grant
There were few things in my life that I regretted. Treating Elizabeth the way I did will forever be on top of that list. The look of dejection on her face still haunted me at inappropriate times throughout the day.
Regardless of how things ended, I still missed her. I missed her smile and her laugh. I missed the way she looked up at me with that sweet, endearing look on her face. The one that told me she thought I could do anything. Be anything. I missed her fruity smell. It had long since faded from my pillows. But most of all, I missed the way she made me feel.
It was done for now. I could never trust her again. She claimed I misconstrued the situation, yet she never tried to set the record straight.
It was time to move on. The problem with that was there was no one who even remotely caught my attention anymore. Elizabeth ruined me.
The night before, my date to a fundraiser made it quite clear that she wanted to please me in the back of the limo. The Grant of old would have most likely taken her up on her offer. She had gorgeous tits and a heart shaped ass that called to a man. Unfortunately, my dick couldn’t and wouldn’t get on board with the idea. He laid there, unwilling to rise to the occasion.
I sat back in the chair and looked out of the city skyline, sipping my customary Scotch to relax after a stressful day. I had to get Elizabeth off my mind. It was for the best that things ended. I just needed to remember that she used me and lied to me, while I loved her with everything I was. I held nothing back from her. And that was what hurt the most.
My phone rang, and I picked it up. It was the doorman telling me Corinne wanted to come up. I rolled my eyes and sighed, debating over whether or not I wanted to entertain her. She was relentless in pursuing me since the breakup. Everywhere I went Corinne was there, and she called me constantly. She was nothing if not opportunistic and was using my newly single status to her advantage.
I allowed her up and went and unlocked the door. I opened it in time to see her stepping off the elevator. She was wearing a tight black top that showed her midriff when she moved and a pair of short white shorts with a cuff at the bottom. Her high-heeled sandals made her legs go on for days. She was a sight. That couldn’t be denied.
“Grant darling! Please tell me you have something I can clean up this horrible cut with.” She exclaimed after she kissed me on the corner of my mouth in greeting. She held up her arm, and the underside was scraped and bleeding.
“What did you do?” I inquired and led her to my bathroom where I kept a first aid kit.
“I’m such a klutz. I cut it on a nail that was sticking out of a frame at this restaurant I was at. It was silly of me really. I just wanted to get it cleaned up right away and you were the closest person I knew.” She moved in closer to me as I rifled through the case to get her everything she would need.
“Uh huh,” I mumbled, knowing full well that whatever restaurant she was at probably had a first aid kit she could have used.
There was a knock on the door, so I left her to clean herself up and went to answer it. It was strange that Sal hadn’t announced whoever was knocking.
When the door opened, my stomach dropped at the sight of a clearly skinnier Elizabeth. She had on a khaki skirt and a floral tank top with ruffles on it. Her collarbone was visible now, proving that she had lost too much weight. She couldn’t weigh more than one hundred pounds soaking wet. There were circles under her eyes, and her mouth was drawn into a tight line. I barely recognized her. I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with concern about her state of being.
“Can I come in?” She interrupted my appraisal of her.
I gestured for her to enter and shut the door behind her. She stood a few feet away from me, but it felt like there was a football field between us.
“Why are you here? And how come Sal didn’t buzz you up?”
“Sorry. I tried to tell him he should, but he insisted I just come up. I didn’t really have a choice. I was hoping we could talk. There’s something that I think you should know.”
“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. I think we said all there was to say already.”
I hated being cold to her, especially when she was standing before me looking so small and vulnerable. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and to take care of her even though I knew I shouldn’t. It was a struggle not to reach out and touch her.
I’m sure whatever she felt needed to be said was important to her seeing as how I told her I never wanted to see her again, but I didn’t want to hear it. I couldn’t and wouldn’t change my mind. I was no one’s fool. Not anymore.
“Please. It’s very important. Just hear what I have to say and then you can kick me out if you want. But I came here for a reason. An important one.”
Before I could answer her, Corinne came waltzing out of my bedroom with her shirt off. Her black lacy bra was practically see through.
“Grant darling, could you help me with this?” She looked up from her arm and zeroed in on Elizabeth. “I can’t believe you have the nerve to show your face after the way you treated Grant. You’re nothing but a filthy slut.”
“I… I’m just going to go.” Elizabeth clutched her stomach like she was in pain, and her face looked paled and horrified. She ran out the door and didn’t even wait for the elevator, choosing to take the stairs instead.
“What do you think you’re doing? And where the f*ck is your shirt?” I shouted at Corinne. I couldn’t stand her proprietary attitude when it came to me. We hadn’t been together in nearly eighteen years. She needed to get over it.
To make matters worse, I was more curious than ever about what Elizabeth wanted. I hated feeling that way.
“Grant. I had to take it off so I could get the whole cut.”
“No. You heard another woman was here and decided to stake your claim. Well clue in. I’m not yours for the taking. I’m no one’s. Now get the f*ck out and never come back. I mean it Corinne. If you do, I will make you wish you never knew me. I don’t play games. So if you don’t believe me, then just try me.”
I stalked towards her until her back hit the wall. A surprised look registered on her face.
“Fine. Okay. I’m sorry. I was just trying to protect you from that evil wench. You deserve better than her.”
“Well, you aren’t it. Get. The. F*ck. Out.”
Corinne scrambled past me into my bathroom. She came out with her shirt on and her purse.
“Grant, you can’t possibly mean you never want to see me again.”
“Goodbye, Corinne,” I said on the slam of the door. I couldn’t get the image of Elizabeth’s face out of my head. How dare Corinne come in here and talk to her that way. I didn’t care if we were together or not, Elizabeth didn’t deserve Corinne’s venom.
What the f*ck was my life coming to?
?????
Elizabeth
After I sat on the stairs and calmed my emotions, I exited the next floor down and took the elevator back to the lobby. I waved goodbye to Sal and called Maya to see where she was. She was finishing up at Travis’ apartment, so I headed over there to discuss my next steps.
I believed in fate. Everything in life happens for one reason or another. We might not always know the reason, but I knew there had to be one.
I believed that Grant came into my life so that I would have this little baby growing in my stomach. If not for him, who knows when I would have finally settled down long enough to have a baby. My career had always been my number one focus. I was driven to succeed. It made me who I was.
I also believed that me choosing tonight, when he was obviously with Corinne, to tell him about the baby just proves that maybe I should do this on my own. Maybe down the road I would tell him. For now, though, this was my burden and my burden alone.
I couldn’t fathom the fact that he was with her after all the bullshit she pulled. The lies to the reporter, the way she threw herself at him whenever she saw him, and the fact that she lied about me having an affair. Maybe she was what he wanted all along. I didn’t understand it myself, but it wasn’t for me to understand anymore. His life was no longer my concern, except for when it affected my child. And right now it didn’t. I’d worry about it later.
Riding the elevator up to Travis’ penthouse, I rested my hand on my slightly swollen stomach and closed my eyes. My doctor’s appointment a few weeks back showed everything was progressing nicely. There was a tiny sac with a tiny heartbeat. The moment I heard it, I burst into tears. It was by far the most emotional experience I had ever encountered. It all seemed so real now.
I found Maya in the kitchen putting the groceries away. We had rearranged clients after I found out I was pregnant. I had been getting sick more than I would like to admit and needed to scale back. I felt bad giving Maya more active and high-maintenance clients, but she insisted that I let her handle the additional responsibility.
I had to admit she was a godsend. Although I wondered why she was taking less and less auditions and helping me more.
“How did it go, Mama?”
“Not good,” I sighed and picked up a bag, putting canned tomatoes into the cupboard.
“What do you mean not good? Was he a prick to you?”
“No. I didn’t even get to tell him. And no before you go ballistic, it wasn’t because he threw me out before I could. It was because Corinne interrupted us. She strutted out of his room half naked. I couldn’t take it. I had to get out of there before I puked all over her designer shoes.”
“Shit. I’m sorry, E. That f*cking blows. Do you think they’re together now?”
Unfortunately, I did. And the thought sickened me.
“Yeah. I do.”
“So what are you going to do now?” She asked as she picked up all the grocery bags from the counter and floor.
I sat at the kitchen table and watched her, trying to figure out what I was going to do. Besides freak out at the prospect of being a single mother without a baby daddy. This was not at all how I pictured things would go down. And my mother was going to flip shit when she found out. Oh, she’d be grateful for the chance to be a grandmother, but she was going to want to castrate Grant for sure.
I scratched a visit to Poughkeepsie on my mental to-do list. This was something she needed to be told in person.
“I’m going to do this on my own. I have to. If somewhere along the line Grant becomes involved, I’ll work it out with him then. In the meantime, I’m going to do what I do best. Stand strong on my own. I feel like I should have a Destiny’s Child song playing in the background to pump me up.”
Maya laughed and called me crazy. Moments later the front door opened and Travis called out, “Honey, I’m home!”
“Honey?” I asked, perplexed by the endearment.
“Oh you know Travis. He’s just being silly.” Maya looked flustered when she called out, “Travis, E and I are in here.”
“Oh, hey.” He stopped in the doorway and stuck his hands in pockets. “How you feeling, E?”
“Shistastic, you?”
“I’m good. Really good.” I could have sworn I saw him glance at Maya out of the corner of his eye, but I figured it had to be my overactive imagination.
My phone rang, and I saw it was my landlord calling. I excused myself from the room and took the call in Travis’ living room.
“Hi Brent. What’s up?”
“Same old, same old, Elizabeth. I just wanted to make sure you were going to be out by the end of the month. The new tenants want to move in that weekend and I want to slap a fresh coat of paint on the walls before they do.”
“Shit!” I shrieked in his ear. I had totally forgotten I told Brent I wasn’t going to renew my lease because I was moving in with Grant. Now what the f*ck was I supposed to do? I had a baby on the way and needed a place to live. “Brent. I need this apartment. Please tell me I can stay and you’ll tell the new people ‘sorry, maybe next time.’”
“I’m sorry, Elizabeth, but they already signed a lease and paid the deposit. The apartment is theirs. Maybe if you had told me a month ago, it wouldn’t have been an issue.”
“Is there anything else in the building open? Please. I’m desperate here.”
“No. I’m sorry. You know how it is. As soon as a decent apartment goes on the market, it gets snatched up. If anything opens up soon, you’ll be the first person I’ll call.”
“Thanks, Brent. I guess I’ll be out by the end of the month.”
“Thanks, sweetheart. I really am sorry.”
I said goodbye and hung up the phone, completely ready to have a meltdown.
“You’ll never believe this,” I said as I joined Maya and Travis at the table in the kitchen. “I forgot to tell my landlord I wasn’t moving out. He rented the apartment and I have ten days before I need a place to live.”
I sat woodenly at the table and stared at my hands trying to figure a way out of this.
“E, stay with me until you find something. We can get you a pullout bed or something.” Maya offered, and I nodded my head.
“I need stability before the baby is born. In six and a half months I need to be settled. You know how damn hard it is to find an apartment in the city that isn’t going to bleed me dry and will be safe for us. At least I know I’ll have a roof over my head and fingers crossed I’ll find something before it’s too late.”
“Move in with me,” Travis chimed in and both mine and Maya’s jaws hit the table. “You need stability and I have more than enough room here. You’ll have a room and the baby will have a room. Of course if you find something before the baby is born, you can move out. But it’s pointless for you to move in with Maya and then be screwed if you don’t find another apartment in time. Babies need space. And I’ll support you any way I can.”
It made sense, but I hated feeling like a leech. I was so used to standing on my own. Maya and well at one time Grant were the only people I ever allowed to help me.
“I don’t know,” I said with indecision in my voice. I wasn’t sure how I felt about being roommates with a man who was both a friend and a client. Add to that a newborn and it could get awfully messy.
“Just say yes. We’ll figure out a way to make it work. Look, we’re all friends. Maya will be comfortable coming over and spending time with you and helping with the baby. And I’ll have someone around to drive crazy whenever the mood strikes me.”
“Only if you let me contribute around here. I need to, otherwise the answer is no. I can’t get a free ride from anyone.”
“Fine. You can handle groceries and you can cook for me. How’s that?”
“It’s not enough,” I argued.
“Look, you need to save money for cribs and bouncy seat things and diapers and whatever the hell else you’re going to need. We can renegotiate later.”
“This is crazy,” Maya exclaimed. “I know you mean well Trav, but this isn’t your problem. If E needs a place to stay, she’ll stay with me and then the f*cking a*shole of a father will have to help her out.”
“Who is the father? Is it Grant?” Travis had wanted to know this ever since I admitted I was pregnant after I passed out. I knew he was trying to be patient and wait for me to finally admit what everyone already knew, but I was so not getting into this with him.
“That’s none of your concern,” I replied. “Maybe Maya’s right. Maybe this is a bad idea.”
“I think it’s a great idea. And eventually Maya will too. What matters is what you think. So what will it be? Roomie or no?”
I hated being backed into a corner, but Travis was right. This was the most logical choice that would ensure I would be ready for the baby. There was no way I could take the chance of trying to raise a baby in Maya’s studio apartment, while sleeping on the couch or whatever.
“Okay. Let’s trial run this though. Make sure it works for both of us before we commit to anything long-term.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He grinned and got up from the table. It was hard not to notice the way his suit pants cupped him perfectly in certain areas. “Alright ladies. I’m off. I have a hot date tonight.” He waggled his eyebrows and then he was gone.
“I should get going too. I have somewhere to be,” Maya mumbled, looking weary and upset.
“Hey,” I grabbed her hand. “Does it really bother you that I’m going to live here and not with you?”
She shook her head and pulled away. “No. I just have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
I sat at the table alone wondering what I possibly could have just agreed to. Travis seemed to think everything was going to work out. I was on the fence and something was clearly eating at Maya. Wait until my mom had a chance to weigh in on it.
Just another day in my crazy life.