Chapter Twenty-Three
Torment
Six months later…
“Yes, Mother,” I said into the phone as I crossed the street.
“Don’t be sarcastic, Elizabeth. You need to be taking care of yourself. Did you talk to Travis about me coming to stay when the baby is born? I don’t want to put him out since it is his place and all, but a grandmother has a right to spend time with her grandchild.”
I rolled my eyes and tightened my coat. The wind was really whipping today. It was the end of February, and hopefully winter would be over soon. Although I guess I shouldn’t complain too much. It would have really sucked to be this pregnant during the summer in the city. I probably would have melted.
“I am taking care of myself. The doctor just said I could stand to gain a pound or two. It’s only because I had such a rough pregnancy early on with morning sickness and such. I’m fine and our baby girl is fine. Travis said you are more than welcome to stay for a bit after I give birth. Just please don’t wear out your welcome. He is being super cool by letting me stay there.”
“I know he is. It’s a good thing too since that scoundrel isn’t stepping up to the plate. I can’t believe I misjudged him so poorly,” she started with her typical diatribe about Grant and responsibilities, so I tuned her out.
Travis had convinced me to stay with him longer than I had normally planned. He really wasn’t home all that much, and I practically had a whole wing to myself. His bedroom was on the north side of the penthouse and mine and the baby’s was on the south side. Maya still thought I needed to find a place and soon. I understood her concern, but I was grateful to have had the help, especially since I had to cut way back on my work thanks to the pregnancy. I didn’t expect it to be much better once the baby was born.
I arrived at the restaurant I was meeting Matt at and stopped in the doorway to cut the chill while I finished my call. When she finally took a breath, I snagged my chance to interject.
“Look Mom, I have to go. I’ll see you next weekend when I come to visit.”
“Fine, sweetie. Please promise me you’ll take it easy and take good care of my grandbaby.”
“Yes, Mother. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
I hung up the phone and walked into the restaurant. There were numerous people standing in the opened foyer waiting to be seated. Now that I wasn’t on the phone, I had time to freak out about seeing Matt again when he visited. He knew I was pregnant, but I hadn’t really given him too many details.
“Hello. Reservation for Evans. I’m not sure if the other person in my party is here yet.”
“Oh yes. I just hung up with him actually. He called and said his flight was running late and he needed to cancel. Did you still want a table?” The young hostess asked while she snapped her gum.
I checked my phone and saw I had missed his call when I was on the phone with my mother. Well, that sucked. I was looking forward to seeing Matt while he was in town.
“No. That isn’t necessary.” I turned to leave and ran head first into Grant. It was moments like this when I wished I could make myself invisible. I hadn’t seen him since that day in his apartment with Corinne. And wasn’t it just my shit luck to have to see him now.
“Well, this is unexpected,” he murmured, and his gaze narrowed at my protruding stomach. There was no hiding the fact that I was pregnant anymore.
“Sure is,” I agreed around a huge lump in my throat. “Now if you’ll excuse me.”
I tried to walk by him, but his hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me back flush against him.
“Elizabeth,” he whispered so close to my ear that my eyes closed, and my body shivered.
God, I missed him. The way my name sounded rolling off his lips reminded me of the good times. I often found myself crying whenever the baby would kick me. And I was exceptionally depressed after I found out the sex of the baby. I so wanted to share those precious memories with him. Well, with the Grant I loved. Not the monster he became.
He looked as G.Q. as ever with his a long wool dress coat over his black, three piece suit. Seeing your ex when you were fat and with swollen ankles wasn’t the most ideal situation.
“Is there something you want to share with me?”
I looked up into his eyes, and I could have sworn I saw longing there and maybe even hope. Could it be possible that he wanted this to be his child? That he wanted to be a part of my life again? I was afraid to believe that might be the case. I couldn’t stand to be crushed again if he denied us.
I opened my mouth to confess my sins. I had to tell him. It was eating away at me every minute of every day. I didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me in the mirror any longer. The more I swore I was happy and had a handle on everything, the more I felt alone. Every day I was going through the motions without him. Knowing I was keeping him from his child. Knowing that I was wrong on so many levels. I didn’t even attempt to get in contact with him since that last night in his apartment with Corinne.
“Grant honey. Is our table ready?” I turned my head in time to see a tall and slender blonde wrap her arms around Grant’s waist. Apparently, his relationship with Corinne didn’t last long.
I stepped back and once again found myself wanting to run away from him and the truth that stared me in the face no matter how much I chose to ignore it. It was unbelievably cruel and selfish of me to hide this from him. Tina was right. I was a monster now too. I was no better than the vultures that made up his family. I was acting just like they would. And I couldn’t stop myself. I was in so deep with my silence and lies that I couldn’t see my way out. What started off as protecting myself, now felt foreign and reprehensible.
“I have to go,” I whispered as I bolted for the door.
I grabbed the first cab I saw and didn’t look back as we sped away. If I had, I would have seen Grant standing on the sidewalk with a tormented look on his face. So tormented that if I had seen it, I would have had no choice but to finally come clean.
?????
I closed the door to the apartment and was surprised to see all the lights on. I thought Travis had a date tonight. Maybe she had cancelled.
I hated how tight lipped he was with his personal life. I had been trying for months to figure out who he was seeing. I didn’t know if it was the same girl from when I was with Grant, or if it was numerous someones. All I knew was he seemed content.
I set my purse and my cup from the fast food restaurant I stopped at on my way home on the table and went in search of Travis. A muffled noise from the bathroom had me heading in that direction. The door was cracked open, and I peeked my head in, hesitant about bothering him if he was in the bathroom.
Curiosity overrode common sense though, and what I saw instantly had me clenching my thighs together and panting like I was in heat.
Travis was naked and lounged back on the closed toilet. A brunette was riding him like her life depended on it. Her moans of ecstasy filtered into the air and had me throbbing between my legs. This was more effective than a porno. I could see his thick shaft as it moved in and out of her and my mouth went dry.
God I needed to get laid in the worst way. My vibrator wasn’t cutting it with these pregnancy hormones.
Travis grunted and ground her down over him. She threw her head back and moaned his name. And that was when I realized I was watching my best friend having sex with my roommate.
Totally creeped out by the fact that I had been turned on by the sight, I quickly exited the bathroom and sat in the kitchen waiting for them to finish.
Man I hoped they were dressed when they emerged.
I was in a state of complete and utter shock. How did I not realize they were together? For months they both evaded me whenever I asked about their significant others. There were little looks and touches that I always just explained away. And of course, there were a few times when he would call her honey or sweetheart. Was I so absorbed in my own soap opera drama that I didn’t even see that the two people closest to me were together?
Holy cow. This was huge. Epic.
Twenty minutes later they walked down the hall in bathrobes, and I cleared my throat as I stood in the hallway with my arms crossed over by belly.
“It’s not what you think,” Maya immediately said.
“Yes, it is,” Travis added, seemingly annoyed by her denial. “Elizabeth, Maya and I are in love. There, I said it. It’s out in the open now.”
Maya glared at him and pushed him with her hands. Even though her face showed annoyance, her eyes shined with love. If this were a cartoon, little pink hearts would be pulsing from her eyes right now.
“How? When? I… I don’t know what to say!” I stuttered.
“Ever since that night I went on a date with Paul McKinley we’ve been seeing each other. I didn’t tell you because of your rule. Plus, I wanted to make sure it would work out first. And then I didn’t want to tell you because of everything you were going through with Grant. I guess it doesn’t matter now that Travis finally got his wish and we don’t have to hide anymore.”
Travis wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into his body. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, and my stomach lurched with jealousy. I wanted that. I missed having that. The intimacy shared between a man and a woman. The feeling that you were loved and protected.
Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my face. “I’m just so happy for you,” I cried and allowed Maya to give me a hug.
“You aren’t mad we hid it from you?”
“No, silly. I’m thrilled for you. You obviously make each other happy. And I want that for both of you. Just don’t ever lie to me again!” I slapped her arm playfully and squeezed her one last time.
“I’m just going to leave you two alone. Matt cancelled dinner, something about a delayed flight. I’m wiped so I’m just going to go to bed.” I decided not to ruin their night by going into my drama with Grant at the restaurant. They should enjoy the rest of their night and not be forced to worry about my hurt feelings.
“Thanks, Lizzie Boo,” Travis murmured in my ear when he gave me a hug. I gave him a watery smile and went to bed.
This day was far too eventful for me.
?????
Grant
Travis entered my office with a face filled with thunder, and I forced myself not to kick his ass out. This was just what I needed after my lack of sleep last night. Images of a beautifully round and very pregnant Elizabeth were burned on my brain and had taunted me relentlessly.
I racked my brain most of the night trying to determine if I was the father. Things seemed to add up to that conclusion, like the night she came to see me. She must have wanted to tell me. And last night when I saw her, she looked so haunted. I thought for sure she was going to tell me what I instantly decided with one look at her swollen belly, I so desperately wanted to hear. That we made a child together.
Then my date, Veronica, walked out and Elizabeth got spooked.
I wasn’t fool enough to think we would be together again if I was the father. No, for as much as I missed her and ached for her, I knew that ship had sailed. There was too much bad blood between us for us to be in a relationship. But if the child was mine, I wanted to know him or her and be a big part of their life.
Of course that was if I was actually the father. A simple paternity test could confirm it if push came to shove.
“You’re a f*cking a*shole, you know that?” Travis said when he arrived at my desk.
“Do tell,” I prompted him to continue. I hadn’t seen him since everything went down with Elizabeth. I didn’t care to be seeing him now.
“I’ve kept quiet for a while now – six months to be exact – in hopes that the two of you would work this out on your own, but I just can’t stand by and watch you throw a good thing away anymore. You need to pull your head out of your ass where Lizzie is concerned. You both are too damn stubborn for your own good. It’s infuriating really.” His face was red with anger, and I wanted to laugh at him for coming to defend her honor when nothing would come of it.
“Lizzie? Isn’t that quaint? Your little nickname for her. And why might you be here defending her honor? It’s a bit hypocritical of you, isn’t it?” My stomach churned thinking of him calling her that while he was inside her.
“Oh please. You honestly think I was sleeping with your woman behind your back? Have you not known me long enough to know I would never do that to you?” The angrier he got, the more his face twisted.
“I know what I heard and what I saw. I really don’t have time for this bullshit today. I’m due in court in an hour.” I stood up and headed towards the door to see him out.
“She’s pregnant man.”
“I know. The question is, though, who is the father? As far as I know you are.” Something that hurt to even consider.
“Wow. You are so delusional. It’s like you can’t see what is right in front of your face. But don’t worry man. I got her back. I would never toss her aside like you did. Lizzie is living with me now. All her needs are being taken care of.”
At his words, I reared back and punched him in the mouth. His lip split open and blood pooled on it. He wiped if off with his thumb and laughed tauntingly at me.
“That’s the only hit you’re ever going to get for her. You hear me? And as far as I’m concerned our friendship is no longer. You better wake up before it’s too late.”
He stormed out of my office, and I sank to my knees. The woman I loved betrayed me and my best friend walked out on me. When had I lost control of my personal life?
I needed to believe that if I was the father of Elizabeth’s baby, she would have told me. For all I know, she was sleeping with multiple people when we were together and when she came to my apartment all those months ago, she wasn’t sure who the father was. It would make sense since now she was living with Travis. Maybe he was the father and didn’t want to admit it to me.
There were too many maybes. The only one that made any sense though was maybe I needed to get to the bottom of things. Once I had answers, I could finally move on with my life.