“I haven’t told you because I didn’t know what I was feeling. I guess you could say that I denied it. Hell, I was in denial for over a month until I realized that I was experiencing ‘Brimm withdrawal’ and set out to find you in Jersey. I’m no religious man, but I do come from love and therefore honor the institution. My parents embodied it, well and clearly.” He exhaled deeply. “I want you, Rayna. I want all of you. I want to complete you and have you back me. I want to give you my children to carry and birth. I want to protect you and provide for you until the day I die.” He cracked his signature panty-snatching smirk, expressing amusement, “There’s a lot about this shit that I don’t know...but I think I’m in good company because yo’ ass don’t know shit about it either. Please do me the honor of carrying my surname, sharing my world, and becoming my life-partner. Please marry me.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Azmir
Aata opens the third tray that holds the five carat emerald cut diamond engagement ring. I’m nervous as hell, hoping she approves.
She’s still, mouth open in collapse, frozen in time. I could throw a pebble in her mouth and make the shot. Rayna, you’ve been out of character for the past two days. Don’t do this, baby. Don’t say no.
I turn to look at Aata, “We’re gonna need a minute here.”
He and the waiter excused themselves as I maintain my gaze on Rayna.
“If you don't like it we can go for something bigger. I know you’re not a flashy—”
“You wanna marry me?” she asked, still looking shell-shocked.
What an odd question. “Yes, sweetheart. I want you to be my wife.” Why is that such a difficult concept?
“But...but...I thought you didn’t...” she mutters before her voice falls off.
“I didn’t what?” I ask forcefully.
“...you didn’t love me!” she rushed out before silently balling her eyes out.
I took a minute to gather my thoughts. How much does that word weigh in gold? Damn. Did I fuck this up by taking so long to tell her? I grabbed her hands from her face and cupped her chin with my other hand.
“I’m sorry...I didn’t know. You’re not the only one with deficiencies here. Baby, you’re special to me...you have been since you came into my boardroom. I had no idea what awaited me. I was so intrigued by your allure, and as much as I told myself to leave you alone, I kept pursuing you.”
Rayna peered at me with desperate eyes. She thirsted for my truth and I tried giving it to her to the best of my articulation, which was very difficult as a man. But I felt I had owed her that seeing that I was constantly begging her to open up to me.
I massaged my eyes in exasperation—not of her, but of the need to chronicle my feelings. Perhaps I’m failing her by not expressing them enough. Shit. How can I get her to see?
I close my eyes and moan, “Rayna, baby, why do you think it took me so long to touch you? ...it took me so long to eat from the forbidden fruit purposely...well, until I couldn’t hold out any longer.” Well, that was part of the reason.
She snorted. Humorous? Good. Now we’re getting somewhere.
“You say that as if you had a choice,” she clapped back.
“Trust, I could have had that ass months before I finally tasted it.”
“I beg your pardon?” she pouted beautifully.
“Ms. Brimm, I could have fucked you on the table that night at Mahogany. Shit, I’ll put up fifty stacks that I could have had that ass in Puerto Vallarta.”
“Mr. Jacobs, you’re far more confident than I took you for.”
“I speak facts, Brimm.” Her body language and response confirmed what I’d already known. “Anyway...we’re getting off subject.” There was no need to argue about something I’d already owned—I owned it, Rayna’s * was mine.
Suddenly epiphanized, I stood from my seat and stationed myself over her before lowering my body onto one knee. Her eyes widened in total disbelief. I was desperate for her to understand just how austere my motives were. I grabbed the ring, lifting it from its gripping position inside the box and bringing it to her hand. Her mouth swung open as her body trembled from jitteriness.
“For the third time, Rayna, will you please put me out of my agony and agree to my hand in marriage?”
Within long seconds, she nodded her head over and over with manic enthusiasm. For the first time ever, she gave me an immediate response. As I picked her up from the sofa and swung her in the air, tears came and her nose ran, racing them down to her mouth. I motioned for Aata to bring tissues. He was there in a nanosecond.