“The two of you aren’t going to do this in the middle of the parking lot,” Luke snapped. “Get in the Jeep, and we’ll go back to the apartment where you two can talk about this.”
As much as I hated her at this moment, I needed to hear everything she had to say. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life wondering about the truth Mary had kept hidden all these years. As hard and painful as it was going to be, I needed some answers.
“Luke’s right. Let’s go back to my apartment; I want to hear about what a lie my life has been.”
The three of us climbed into the Jeep, and Luke drove us back to my apartment.
29
––––––––
We walked into my apartment, and I immediately took out a bottle of wine. As I was taking a glass from the cupboard, my mother looked at me and said, “You seem to drink a lot. Do you have a drinking problem?”
I gasped as I set the glass on the counter. “Considering everything I’ve been through in my life, I should have one.”
She shook her head and sat down at the table. Luke sat down across from her, and I stayed at the kitchen counter.
“So, go ahead and tell me how my whole life’s been a lie,” I said.
She cleared her throat as she began to speak. “I had some problems, and the doctors told me that I would never be able to conceive a child. You have no idea how much that devastated me, because the only thing I wanted was a child with Johnny. I started drinking a lot, I stayed in bed all day, and I isolated myself from the world. One night, Johnny came home with this seventeen-year-old girl, Allison. He told me she was pregnant with his child, and that she’d agreed to give us the baby. Her mother was a prostitute and a drug addict, and her father had run off after she was born. She could barely take care of herself, let alone a child. So, Johnny paid for her medical care and after you were born, he gave her money to start a new life.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she continued. “I know you’re probably to going ask me why I stayed after that. It was because of you, Lily. I may not have given birth to you, but you were my baby, my daughter, and you were a part of Johnny, which made you even more special.”
I gulped before throwing back my glass of wine. I closed my eyes and Luke got up from the table and walked over to me.
“Lily, are you alright?” he asked as he put his hand on top of mine.
“I raised you, Lily. You’re my daughter, and you cannot say otherwise! I loved you and nurtured you. I took care of you when you were sick, and I was there for you when you cried, while your father was out playing his shows and having sex with any woman that looked his way.”
Luke tightened the grip on my hand. “Mary, I think Lily’s heard enough.”
As I removed my hand from his, I looked at him. “It’s ok, Luke. Let’s go sit down.”
I walked over to the table and sat across from my mother as I actually had a moment where I felt incredibly sorry for her. “Mom, please just tell me why you were going to let me marry Hunter if you knew about him and Brynn. All I want is an honest answer.”
Mary looked at me with pursed lips as she tilted her head. I could see the pain in her eyes as she spoke to me. “You seemed happy with Hunter, and I couldn’t ruin that for you. All I wanted was for you to be happy. I know I was wrong, and I should have told you when I first found out,” she said as she shook her head.
“When did you find out?” I asked.
“Does it really matter at this point, Lily?”
“Yes, Mother, it does. It matters to me.”
She took in a deep breath before spilling the words I didn’t want to hear. “I found out the day we went shopping for your wedding dress.”
My stomach instantly felt sick as I put my shaking hand over my mouth and my eyes swelled with tears. “But, Brynn was with us that day and she was trying on maid of honor dresses. How did you find out?”
“I received a text message from Mrs. Kendall with a picture of Hunter and Brynn going into a hotel room together. She said she saw them, and she thought I should know. Why do you think I broke down and cried when you came out in your dress? Part of it was because you were so beautiful, and I couldn’t believe you were getting married, and the other part was because I knew it would destroy you, and I couldn’t let that happen. So, one day, not too long after that, I confronted the two of them and warned them that they were to end it immediately.”
Luke walked over to me and clasped my shoulders with his hands, rubbing them gently. I took in a deep breath, and I buried my face in my hands. As I thought of something, I lifted my head and looked at my mother.
“If you couldn’t get pregnant, then how did you with Brynn?”
She looked at me and smiled lightly. “Brynn was a complete surprise. The doctors couldn’t explain it either; they just said she was a gift from God.”
“Yeah, a real gift,” I mumbled as Luke kissed me on the head.
Mary reached over, put her hand on mine, and I instantly froze. “Lily, what your sister did was wrong, and please don’t think that I’m defending her, but you also need to remember that you’re supposed to love your children unconditionally.”
As I slid my hand out from under hers, I got up from the chair and walked over to the window. There was a part of me that understood where she was coming from and why she didn’t tell me. As I turned around and looked at my mother, I saw a weak woman who was scared and alone. I saw a forgiving woman who took in someone else’s child, as her own, because she so desperately wanted a baby with the man she loved. I walked over, sat down in the chair, and grabbed her hand.
“Our relationship is going to need a lot of work. It’s going to take time to get back to where we were before all of this happened. I just can’t instantly forgive you and pretend it never happened; I need time to process everything you’ve told me.”
She tilted her head and gave me a small smile. “At least it’s a start. I want our relationship back, Lily.”