I shook my head, suddenly bashful. “No. I would tell you if that were the case.”
And then I made the irreversible mistake of regarding him straight in the face where I could observe his thick dark stubble and the small curls in his hair. I loved that style of cut for him…that and the low cut one, close to his scalp. His plain gray tee and black sweats with gray and black sneakers that I recognized as his design with Nike from Jordan’s stock looked good on him. Simple. Frustratingly sexy.
With his thick eyebrows still furrowed and a grin playing at his heart-shaped lips, Stenton nodded softly, “Okay.”
“Okay!” I shouted more spiritedly. “Jordan, are you going to hang out with Mommy this morning?”
Jordan turned with flipped eyes. I knew something regretful was coming. “Mommy, me and Daddy are going to get more sneakers today. He said today was your day to have fun without the guys. But you can come if you want.”
That shredded my heart into pieces. Jordan was torn between hanging out with his cool Dad and obliging his longing Mother. He’d grown up way too fast for my liking. Time was speeding by too quickly for my comfortability. I no longer had a dependent, adorable baby. Stenton now had a buddy, an extension, a partner. And me… I had…this gold band from a man who wanted into this convoluted group.
~~~~~~~~~~
Now
August 2014
~Zoey~
I inhale the salted air of the Caribbean Ocean. The breeze is mild and the sound of island music swirls beautifully around me. I’m in paradise via Ocho Rios. Bernard and I just left dinner and I’m not ready to turn in. I want to stay out and enjoy the ambiance of Jamaica. This is my vacation, my opportunity to renew my mind and solidify my plans moving forward.
I chance a glance over to Bernard, who’s tapping angrily into his phone. I take his right hand to hopefully hint at the desire for affection. We are here together, discussing the next step in our relationship. After a mild tug, he catches on and drops his hand so I can lace his fingers with mine.
His expression softens. “I’m sorry, sweets. I’m trying to see who liked the last set of pictures I posted on IG.”
“Ughhh… I hope you removed the one of me from the choir anniversary in Delaware.”
“No. Zoey, I keep telling you, I need for my fans to have a glimpse of my personal life. They need to see my fiancée supporting me.”
“Well, your fiancée is with you now; talk to me.”
He continues at it for a few seconds. I try to distract myself with observing the nightlife on the beach. He didn’t want to take this walk, complaining of the sand in his shoes.
“I’m sorry, sweets. It’s just that we’re really trying to up the likes on our fan page and it’s not moving as fast as Tony’s seemed to last month.”
“Oh, you guys have a fan page? That’s cool. That reminds me to check on ours when I get back.”
Bernard scowls. “I told you we just launched it two weeks ago. You really gotta pay attention, Zo. I need your support.”
Okay… I didn’t like the way that was delivered.
“My bad. I don’t recall.”
Since we arrived two days ago, all Bernard has been dedicated to is social media. I was really hoping this would be an opportunity for us to connect and…get to know more about each other. Instead, it’s been about sharing his time with his phone and enduring his mild scolding of overspending. Money was a huge issue when planning this trip. It was like pulling teeth, trying to draw up a budget. I didn’t mind paying a portion of the trip. I understand he’s a “starving artist,” but the desire to travel is rich in my blood. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, have done, and can now do much of on my own dime.