Ohhhhhh! That! I felt my eyes roll.
“See, he’s told you about my celibacy,” she drawled out with sarcasm as she gazed past my head. “I’ve been celibate for years. And…Stenton is a ridiculously hot man. I don’t quite honestly know how I’ve been able to defer sex up until this point, but a small part of me believes he’s helped with it.”
Our eyes locked. She now had my attention.
“A part of me believes he hasn’t pushed it because he doesn’t want to either. I also feel I’m not connecting with a significant piece of him. And that’s something I was hoping to do out here.” Her eyes turned pleading. “So, I want you to be honest with me—woman to woman. Do I have anything to be concerned about? Are you still in love with Stenton? Is there something I should know?”
I knew about that piece of him that had her desperate to collide with. I, too, was a woman that wanted to crawl inside him and embrace the essence of Stenton Rogers. He was an anomaly. Even those closest to him, who shared the fondest of his memories were not privy to the glimpses of his core that made me know there was more to him than the man with the sordid reputation, bouncing a ball.
However, Jenna’s words made me wonder if I’d be exactly where she was now—with the same emotional barricades Stenton has set up for women—had I not forced myself on him that first time. And if that were the case, would I be here right now? The answer was no, because there would be no Jordan as my ticket into his privileged world.
I felt sick.
I watched as Jordan buried his father in the sand. From this view, I could see how he got his father’s head honestly. They laughed and smiled so much together their faces should hurt by now. Those were my guys. My family, as Stenton had declared earlier. But then I remembered where I physically stood, and that was at a distance from Stenton and his son. I stood afar with his current woman, one who’d been with him for seven months with no sex and feeling the same barricades that kept me from my strongest desires just as they did her. What was clear in that moment was Stenton didn’t pressure either of us for sex. And it was likely my pushing him into that type of relationship was the demise of us. Maybe if I’d just waited.
“Stenton doesn’t need sex to connect with a woman,” I heard myself before consciously speaking my newly formed theory of Stenton Rogers. “Emotional and intellectual stimulation is enough. And quite frankly, I’m sure you can surmise Erika didn’t have either of those, but served up sex well enough. So, there was no connection.” I then turned to her. “Look, Jenna, you’re a smart woman. You give him that, and that is your connection.”
There was a tentative pause while she ingested my words. In the same transitional moment, I needed to be alone.
“Jenna, would you tell Stenton that Jordan will need a nap soon? I don’t want him to miss it like yesterday. I’m going to lie down myself. I think I’ve been in this sun too long.” I didn’t even wait for an answer before heading back up to the villa.
As soon as my face hit the mattress, I let the dam break. I’d always been able to handle my emotions. I wasn’t much of a crier before meeting Stenton, but that was one of those times where the release was necessary. I’d never had to handle anything like that. I’d never spoken to Erika. Not once was I put in the position Jenna had just placed me in—to help her make the decision to move into a deeper place with Stenton. A place where I’d longed for practically since I’d met him.
~Stenton~
“Daddy, I’m sleepy.” Jordan pouted out of nowhere.
I loved his honesty. As much as he hated naps, he couldn’t handle exhaustion. His puckering reminded me of his mother, only hers were sexy and manipulative when issued.
I miss them.