I noticed when she looked me up and down, observing my leopard print bikini. I wouldn’t freeze up. I didn’t have to. I was vacationing with my son...and his father, who had seen me naked from head to toe and still had not committed to me. It was no big deal.
“I was just asking Stenton where you were hiding,” I shared.
“My mother is finally sleeping and will probably be for a couple of hours. So, I figured I’d come down here and check you guys out,” she explained as she tented her hands against her forehead to block the sun while she looked out to Stenton and Jordan playing like two toddlers.
Then her eyes made their way over to me again, issuing an odd sense of ogling.
“Oh, okay. You know you’re more than welcome to stay and hang out. I’m sure Stenton would love to have you.”
“Well, I was hoping you and I could talk a little bit.” Cautiously, I cocked my head to the side. “We can let them have their play and we girls can chat among ourselves, right?” There was a tentative pause as she observed my hesitation.
“Su-sure,” I sputtered.
“I just wanted to get to know you a little. I feel like I don’t. I’ve been with Stenton for seven months and haven’t met you until last night. There is very little out there about you, unlike Erika. Stenton rarely speaks of Erika…doesn’t even like the mention of her name.” She took a breath. “And I don’t get the impression so much that it’s a result of him being scorned, as it is about him not respecting her. I’m familiar with the scandalous, sensual pictures, the suggestive tweets and posts—even without having a social network account. There is enough out there to summarize their connection. But with you it’s totally different. I don’t understand why it is that you and Stenton broke up. He never talks about it.”
My neck jerked back and eyelids stretch. “I really don’t have an answer for that.” Seriously. “And I’m also not comfortable with speaking about my former relationship with him either.” Because I still don’t understand it. “I think this is a conversation you should have with Stenton—”
“Stenton does not talk about his past with you…directly,” she interrupted while shaking her head determinedly. Then her sight cast over to the guys playing. “He’ll talk about Jordan. You can see the spark in his eye when he mentions his son. You’ll invariably come up in a random conversation…we could be listening to a rock band or discussing politics or life philosophy and he’s just talking…it’s just a different ring to his tone when your name rolls off Stenton’s tongue.” Jenna sighed and I could feel her need of releasing all that’d been on her mind, all the insecurities she’s juggled regarding him. “And since last night, I can’t get you out of my head. You’re gorgeous, extremely bright—a Wharton graduate—a successful entrepreneur, and clearly a great mom…” she shook her head then peered over at me. “How is it that you two are no longer together? Could you not take the lifestyle?”
Needing to change proximity to a painful line of questions, I moved up, but still within earshot. Just close enough to remain a party to this conversation. Jenna continued.
“I’m older than you…” There was a tentative pause. “To me, you not being with him could be a red flag. You’re not a party girl, you have your act together just like me. I just need to know if there’s anything I need to be on the lookout for before I take our relationship to the next level.”
I don’t know why, but I found myself scoffing. “You guys have been together for almost a year. What new level could you explore outside of marriage?”
I didn’t look at her as I called out my worst fear. I didn’t think I could survive Stenton marrying another woman. I knew the possibility of it, but still couldn’t stomach the thought.
Jenna moved in front of me and angled her head contemplatively. “He hasn’t told you?”
“Told me? Told me wh—”