Just One Song

chapter Fifteen





I’m bouncing between excitement and nervousness as we wind our way through the streets of Santa Monica on our way to Zack’s house. The ocean smacks the cliffs below us as we travel along the coast. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m instantly thrilled I remembered to throw in a swimsuit. I’m sure the water is freezing, but I’ve never been to the Pacific Ocean, and the air is warm. It makes me want to throw on my swimsuit and splash in the ocean just to say I did it once.

Darren stops at a pair of metal gates and punches in a code. The gates slowly open and I look at Zack. One of his hands holds mine on his lap. He looks relaxed. I am anything but relaxed right now.

My mouth drops when we finally pull up the winding driveway.

“This is your house?” This is not a house. It’s a sprawling museum, or mansion, or one story hotel. I can’t describe the monstrous southwestern-style building in front of me; but house, would not be the word I would ever think to use to describe it. That word is too simple, too small to explain what I’m seeing. I see what looks like a six…SIX car garage to the left. And the entire house curves into a moon shape. I didn’t even know they could make houses that curve in such a way. I’m mesmerized by the brick walk that I’m guessing goes towards the front door but I can’t see it past all the beautiful and luscious landscaping. Vibrant colored plants and flowers form one of the most beautiful gardens I’ve ever seen.

“Yep.” It’s such a simple answer. I’m dumbfounded, completely flabbergasted that I actually know someone who lives in a house like this. I know its Zack. I know he’s a rock star and has, I guess, more millions than most people can ever dream of seeing in a lifetime; but still. This is just too much. I feel the same sense I had when I saw his bus. And that was a tour bus! But it’s so overwhelming when I’m forced to face how completely different our lives are. “I bought it for me and the band. All the bedrooms have their own suites and living areas; Garrett and Chase stay here all the time when we’re recording in L.A.”

All the rooms? I don’t even want to know how many rooms there are. From the looks of things, a lot more than I have ever seen in a house. My eyes widen even larger. I didn’t even know my eyes could get as large as they are right now.

Zack smiles and squeezes my hand. “It’s just a house, Nic. Take a deep breath.”

I laugh while I breathe and end up snorting unattractively. Zack laughs at me and some of the tension I feel slips away. It’s just a house. That’s the most laughable statement I’ve heard in a really long time.

“Come on. We’ll get settled, I’ll show you around, and then I want to take you to dinner tonight. It’s my turn for you to meet someone.” His eyes are filled with a giddy mischief.

“Who?” I want to know. I know he grew up close to here, and his mom and Sammy are coming in a few days. Who could it possibly be?

He just quirks an eyebrow and holds out a hand to help me out of the SUV. “You’ll see.”

I follow him as he pulls me into the house. I was right about the landscaping, the front door is back behind a secluded patio; completely hidden from all the trees and bushes in front of the house. I almost feel like I’m walking through a small forest just to get inside.

I walk into the front of the house and am instantly frozen on the spot. I vaguely see furniture. Shadows of couches and tables and artwork on the wall, but I don’t really see it, because all that I can focus on is the view. The entire back of the house is one, enormous, wall of windows. They span the width of the monstrous room and reach from floor to ceiling. Just past the patio is an infinity pool that looks like it drops off a cliff, straight into the ocean. I ignore everything else and walk, feeling like I’m being pulled by the beautiful view, straight towards the windows. I’m so very glad the sun is shining without a cloud in the sky so I can get the full affect. Nothing - there is absolutely nothing I can say to explain the view in front of me. All I see is the brightest blue ocean, melting perfectly into the bright blue sky, speckled here and there with the whitecaps from the waves pushing against the shore that I can’t see.

I sense Zack’s presence behind me as I stand at the wall of windows, just gawking. “This is just…wow…” I can’t even form a complete thought looking out the windows.

“I know,” he replies and puts his arms around my waist from behind pulling me gently but firmly into him. “The view totally sold me on the house. I love it here.”

“I can see why.” I speak in a reverent awe at the beauty before me.

“Let me show you the rest of the place really quick.”

I don’t want to leave this view. Zack laughs at me, pulling me along behind him. “You can see it when we’re done. And tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after….” I slide a glance towards him once I’m finally able to pull away from the ocean. I wonder how many ‘day afters’ he was going to say before his voice trails off but think better of it because the last thing I’m ready for right now is to hear the word ‘forever’ again.

With as mesmerized as I am by this house and that view, I could actually say yes. I shake the crazy thought from my head as he pulls me into what he calls the ‘east wing’ of his house. He lives in a house with ‘wings.’

He shows me the bedrooms where I learn he has eight of them. Eight! I never would have believed it if I didn’t see it for myself.

After showing me the kitchen and giving me another look at the living room, he takes me to the other side of the house, the ‘west wing,’ where his fun rooms are located. My mouth drops when I see each room. The first is his media room. It looks like a real-life movie theater room with twelve leather, high back chairs; each separated by an armrest with built-in cup holder. Then I see his music studio where he tells me they practice writing and recording new music, sometimes. Most of it is done at his label’s office in downtown L.A., but on days when the whole band is here, they’ll occasionally lay a track or two. I imagine my favorite picture from the tour; the one with Zack and Chase, their heads bent together writing new music - and envision what they look like in this very room. And what songs were written here.

Before I can ask him, though, Zack pulls me along to his last play room. Inside the room is a large pool table, and a full-size bar. The back wall is the same as in the living room; a full wall of full-length windows. In the center of the room is a curved, black leather couch that faces the largest television I have ever seen. Football players on this television will probably look life-sized.

“This is my favorite room in the house.” He says to me as he drags me to the pool table. I laugh when I remember he still hasn’t paid up from when I beat him in Chicago. I decide to let it slide. At least for now.

“I can see why.” It’s completely like Zack in here with its laid back furniture and darker colors than the rest of the house. It’s comfortable, and has a masculine presence. I can only imagine the nights spent in here with Chase, Jake and Garrett, screwing around, drinking some beer and playing pool. I smile just thinking about it. I miss those guys more than I thought I would.

***

I stop in my tracks when Zack opens the door to his garage, or one of them, when we’re leaving for dinner a few hours later. In front of me is a 2-door black convertible, with the top down. It looks more like a futuristic vehicle I had only seen in movies, or something you would find in the Batcave. “Wow. Is that your car?”

He grins smugly. “Yeah, I just bought it right before the tour started. It’s a Mercedes Roadster. Kind of fun, huh?”

“It’s beautiful.” I am not a car person, but this car is too amazing to not be in awe at the sight of it. I climb into the passenger seat and sink into the softest grey leather I’ve ever felt in my entire life.

Thirty minutes later we pull into what looks like, a dirty old hole in the wall bar. The bricks along the outside of the building are falling off the walls; neon lights flashing in the windows are missing letters. The word ‘PEN’ is completely dark while the sign ‘B-IANS –LACE’ flashes periodically. Where is he taking me?

“Uh…is your car safe here?” I ask when he parks it on the street and hear the beeping of his door lock. “And are we safe?” I glance up and down the street completely unsure of my surroundings. It doesn’t look like a dangerous part of town, but the street is completely void of any traffic. On foot or otherwise.

Zack laughs at me. “She’ll be just fine, and so are we. Brian makes my favorite burgers. And the pool is free, so I thought I could try to earn my money back tonight.”

“Since you never paid up after the first time, I suppose that won’t be too hard.” I bump into his shoulder and take another glance down the street. “And at least this time you won’t have an audience when I embarrass you.”

“Funny. Let’s go eat, pool shark. I’m starving. And there’s still someone I want you to meet.” I raise my eyebrows in a question, but he just lightly kisses my forehead and leads me through the doors.

Brian’s Place, or at least I assume that is what the sign out front was trying to spell, looks as bad on the inside as it does on the outside. There are only about ten tables from what I can see. Black Formica table tops with black chairs and the red vinyl peeling off most of the seat cushions are spread throughout the majority of the bar. Near the back are two pool tables. The bar is empty except for the burly looking bartender who jumps over the bar as soon as we walk in.

“Zack Walters!” He yells as the door shuts behind us. “How you doin’?” The man barrels towards us, crushing Zack into the largest man-hug I have ever witnessed. “Hey Brian.”

When they pull back from their hug, Zack introduces us. “Brian, this is Nicole. Nicole, Brian.”

“Nice to meet you,” I say politely.

“You’re Nicole? Are you the same Nicole he’s been whining about for the last week on the phone?” He lightly punches Zack on the arm. Who is this guy?

“Yeah, this is her.”

Brian takes a step back, looking me up and down. “Now I know what all the fuss is about.” He winks at Zack, but throws his arm around my shoulder pulling me towards the bar. Zack’s expression is filled with amusement, although I don’t know if it’s because some guy is pulling me away or if it’s from the look of shock in my eyes.

“It’s not often Zack here brings women to my place. He must trust you an awful lot, I know all his secrets. Come have a seat at the bar and I’ll feed you and tell you all the stories I know about this loser.”

While Brian is pouring our drinks, I lean in to Zack and whisper. “How do you know this guy?”

He chuckles. “That’s Brian. The friend I’ve told you about?”

“That is Brian!?” When Zack told me all the stories about his childhood friend, this was not at all what I pictured him looking like. “But he’s so big….and frightening.”

“Yeah, he can be rather intimidating I guess. But he’s harmless. And I wanted you to meet him.”

“Wow…he’s not at all what I pictured.” I take a sip of my beer when Brian slides them across the bar. “Why is it so dead in here?”

“I asked him to close the place down for the night.” He says this like it’s the most normal thing to do.

“You did, what? Why?”

Zack simply raises his shoulders nonchalantly. “I want to be alone with you. And I knew Brian would do it for me. Plus, I wanted you to meet him. You’ve introduced me to all your favorite people, I want you to know mine.”

I think I melt into a pool of mush.

“It’s crazy to me that you can just make a call and people do what you want them to.”

“Brian’s like my brother and we’d do anything for each other. Consider this one of the perks of being a ‘rock god’ or whatever it is you and Mia call me.” He winks playfully. I want to throw my arms around him and never let him go. Sitting next to me on the barstool in the darkened bar that he had closed down just for me, he is irresistible.

“Thank you. I love your surprises.”

“This loser isn’t filling your head with any crap is he?” Brian interrupts us at the bar. Before too long, I’m listening to these guys laugh and share stories from their youth. I hear more about how awkward Zack was in high school. He blushes and refutes many of the stories Brian shares. But they’re all true. I can totally tell by his embarrassment and it makes me laugh. Brian tells me all about Zack’s first crush he had all through high school who wouldn’t give him the time of day, and how she called him after his first single was released practically begging for a date. I smile when I hear he turned her down.

Hearing who he really is makes me love him even more. I want him in this moment, more than I ever have yet. Maybe because I’m here, with someone who knew him before he was famous, and all I see is Zack. Not the rock star, but just the man. There is no pretense of an image when he’s with Brian. I noticed it as soon as we walked in the door, as comfortable as he is out in public, something changed when we walked through the door to Brian’s Place tonight. He’s completely himself and vulnerable here and offering me just a small glimpse of what life would be like with him.

And I want it. I desperately want all he has to give me.

I want him. It has never felt as right as it does in this moment.

When Brian walks to the back room, I slide off my stool and stand in between Zack’s thighs as he faces me. I move my hands to the back of his head and pull him to me, stopping when his lips are just inches from mine. My lips twitch up, just a bit, when I hear his breath hitch.

“Thank you,” I whisper, and move in just a fraction of the space between us. I can feel his warm breath on my lips.

“For?” He can barely choke the words out. He’s turned on right now, by me. It’s a powerful feeling to know I can do this to him.

“Yesterday. Today. It’s all been so perfect.” Before he can say another word, I pull him to me. Kissing him with more force and passion than I could ever imagine, but I want him to know. I want him to know what I feel, and what I want, and how much I absolutely love him and admire him. Not the musician - just the man.

He stops and moves away from me, looking me straight in the eyes. “It isn’t over yet.” And then pulls me back to him. His hands grab my hips and lift me onto his lap so I’m straddling him. I’m vaguely aware that we’re in a public place, and Brian can come out any moment and see me wantonly throwing myself at Zack, but I just don’t care. I need to be as close to him as possible. I let out a little moan as we explore each other’s mouths.

Kissing Zack is like exploring a whole new world and I don’t want the adventure to end. Minutes or hours later, I have no idea, he lets out a low groan and I slowly pull away.

“Zack?”

He moves back closer to my mouth, “Hmmm?”

I press my hands to his jaw and stop him. I stare directly into his eyes. “Take me back to your place.”

He leans back a few inches, examining my every feature. “Are you sure? We don’t have to ….”

I cut him off. “I want to.”

He leans forward and gives me a kiss on the cheek, throwing a large amount of cash onto the bar.

“You don’t have to ask me twice. Let’s go.” He grabs my hand and pulls me quickly, half-running to his car outside.

I giggle like a teenager until we get back into the car and then all conversation stops. We say nothing to each other the entire way back to his house, but I notice Zack clutching the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turn white.

He walks me into his house, a hand on my lower back leading me through the front door and then is kissing me again before the door closes.

“My room?” he seductively asks me. I can only nod in response. He leads me down the hallway with his hand gently on my lower back. With each step, tension begins to grow in me. It’s an equal mixture between wanting him, and nerves by the time we reach his room.

He turns me towards him once we reach his room, my nerves apparent on my face. “Zack…I…”

He takes a gentle step forward, holding my hands and then wraps them around his back, still holding on to mine. “Having second thoughts?”

There is no judgment or frustration in his eyes…just loving concern for me. I know that I can easily say no and everything will be okay. I love his patience with me, so kind, and always willing to follow my lead when I am uncomfortable. The man is astounding. And he loves me.

“No, it’s not that.” I take a hand from his and rub my forehead to compose myself. “It’s just …it’s only ever been Mark….and no one since…” Get a grip, and just tell him, I think to myself taking another deep breath. “I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you.” My face blushes ten thousand shades of red. I turn away from him so he can’t see my embarrassment from my admission. I have only been with one man.

I hear a light chuckle and he brings his hand to my chin, guiding me up until the only thing I see are his dark eyes filled with desire.

“That’s a lot of pressure for me. There is not a single thing you could ever do that would disappointment me. Ever. We will stop whenever you want, just say the word, but I want nothing more right now than to show you how much I love you, please.” It’s the word please, spoken so softly and huskily, and his first kiss that removes my fear. I throw my arms around him when he pulls me closer.

Our bodies press together and he slowly walks me backwards toward the bed stopping only when my legs hit the mattress. Lowering his head, his kisses move to my jaw and down my neck to the soft place right above my collarbone, sending goose bumps all along my neck and arms. Fire burns through my body when he gently lifts my shirt and splays his warm hands across my lower back.

I lower my hands and begin to release his shirt from his jeans. Slowly, I raise his shirt admiring his perfected abdomen, trailing one hand up his sculpted muscles. When I can lift it no further, he releases his mouth from my body and removes it completely.

I am in awe.

He stands there, with his arms at his sides, letting me explore his chest as if he knows I need a moment to just explore him and get used to the way he feels beneath my hands before I am fully comfortable.

It doesn’t take long.

I move from his chest and down his arms following the lines in his muscles. My confidence grows when his breathing increases, knowing I’m the one eliciting this response from him.

“You’re perfect,” I whisper and lean in to kiss his chest.

“And you’re perfect for me,” he says when he lowers his mouth to mine again. His hands return to my waist and begin to remove my shirt just as slowly as I did to him.

Once it is fully removed I am panting for him to be closer to me again, “Zack, you’re going to have to lay me down before my legs give out if you’re going to continue torturing me.”

“My pleasure.” His hands on my hips, he slowly lifts me onto his bed and follows me as we align our bodies together on his massive bed. Resting his forearms next to my head to keep the full weight of his body from crushing me his eyes fall to mine before resting his forehead on mine.

“Are you sure, Nic?”

I nod. “Please…show me…” I can hardly speak my desire for him is so strong. Within moments, our clothing is gone and there are no barriers between us. We explore each other’s bodies for what seems like hours with our hands and our tongues.

I hesitate just briefly when his tongue hits my inner thigh. It’s just a slight jolt of nerves that we are actually doing this, but it’s enough to catch his attention.

“Nervous?”

His voice is deep and husky and full of want and desire for me, and as much as I want to toss it all away and adamantly declare ‘absolutely not!’ to save face, I love this man too much to hide anything. I trust him too much. And because of that, I want to be honest regardless of how mortifying it is for me to say the next few words I speak.

“Absolutely terrified.” It’s a whisper. The truth spoken in syllables that could only be heard by the most attentive lover and because of that, because I trust him; I look at him, unashamedly. And when I do, when I see the love he has for me in his eyes, absolutely melting me, I know that if I told him to stop, that I wasn’t ready; he would wait until I am.

All he wants is what is best for me, and because of that; because of all he speaks in just a simple look, I willingly hand him another piece of my heart, knowing I can trust him with it.

“Do you want me to stop?”

I shake my head. “Absolutely not.”

He enters me slowly and I let out a low groan as my body stretches to take him. Once he’s in, Zack leans down and kisses my cheeks, and then my nose. I look at him and smile and arch into him, needing more. Slowly, we find our rhythm, the rocking of our bodies the only sound I ever want to hear again for the rest of my life.

He moves his hands down to my hips, slowly tilting them up so I can take him deeper. I close my eyes and cry out in pleasure as he moves above me. Every muscle on his chest and abdomen, tightened.

“Zack,” I moan.

He growls out my name and moves faster, rocking into me as my orgasm builds quickly. I wrap my legs around him as his hands move to my *. As soon as his thumb presses and rubs in a circle, fireworks explode behind the lids of my eyes and I cry out his name in pleasure, my orgasm rocking through my entire body.

He climaxes at the same time, and drops down onto me, slowly moving his hips against me, helping us both come down. Eventually he pulls out and cleans us both off before climbing back into bed and wrapping his arms tightly around my waist while I lay my head on his chest.

“That was more amazing than I imagined it would be,” he says to me softly while he plays with my hair.

“You imagined this?” I smile slyly. He’s a guy, of course he’s thought of sex.

“Since the night I met you and you were wearing those red heels. I wanted to know what they would feel like wrapped around me.”

I was a wreck that night. I was a crazy bundle of nervous energy and could barely maintain a conversation with Zack, and that was before I knew who he was. And he thought of having sex with me?

I chuckle at the thought and lean in to give him a light kiss on his lips, gently brushing mine over his, teasing him. “I love you, Zack.”