Cecilia stood up. “No, Elizabeth. He doesn’t want you to.”
I stared at her, not understanding. She handed me Joshua’s grey hoodie. “He said to make sure you wore this. It will keep you warm.”
I shook my head, the enormity of what was about to happen hitting me. “He’s not going to say goodbye? He’s just letting me leave … without … without …” my voice broke.
No. Joshua wouldn’t do that.
I straightened up and pulled on the socks, the tears rolling down my face. I began walking to the door, but Cecilia stepped in front of me. “He can’t, Rabbit,” she said pleadingly. “This is killing him. Don’t make it any harder on him. Please.”
I looked at her, my sobs shaking my body. “But I need to see him, Cecilia. I don’t know how to get in touch with him! I don’t even know where we are!”
“That’s what he wants. The less you know the easier it will be to stick to the story he has set up for you. You won’t get mixed up.”
I looked at her in horror.
“He doesn’t want me to know where he lives?”
She shook her head.
His words filled my head; we never happened.
I sat down, my legs unable to hold me up. I buried my head in my hands and sobbed.
I heard a strange noise and lifted my head. I looked at Cecilia.
“We had the helicopter come here. We have to leave now,” she explained.
I nodded numbly, not even caring enough to ask any questions, and stood up. I went into the bedroom and looked around. I opened the dresser and took some of the money from the envelope. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote the only thing I could think of on it and placed it on the bed. I left everything else.
I walked back into the kitchen. “Bear is with him?” She nodded, holding out the hoodie again. I pulled it on and stuffed the money into the pocket. I felt the tears welling up again. I wasn’t even allowed to say goodbye to my furry protector.
“I don’t want this, Cecilia. I want to stay here,” I whispered. I looked at her. “I love him. He needs me.”
Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “You have to. Joshua’s right. He loves you enough to let you go. He has worked hard to make sure you can go back to the life you had, with no repercussions, so respect him for that and do what he is asking you to do. You have to do this … for him.” She paused and drew in a breath. “I know you’re hurting, Elizabeth. He is as well. This wasn’t an easy decision for him.”
My heart hurt so much I instinctively lifted my hand, rubbing my chest in comfort. Feeling empty and defeated, I nodded and pulled on my sneakers. We walked out of the house and I felt myself shaking so hard I could barely stand, let alone put one foot in front of the other. I had no idea where I was going, who I was going to. Everything in me screamed this was wrong and here with Joshua was where I belonged. I felt Cecilia’s arm come around me and I looked at her through the tears streaming down my face. I could hear my own gasping breath as I struggled to breathe against the onslaught of pain.
Her eyes reflected her understanding of my agony, but still she urged me forward. I struggled to get away, wanting to run to the barn. I could feel him watching me leave. I strained to get a glimpse of him, just the chance to look at him one more time, even from afar, but I was pushed into the helicopter cabin and the door slammed behind me before I could turn my head. Cecilia helped me buckle up, then pulled me into a tight embrace as I wept onto her shoulder as the chopper took off, taking me away from Joshua and Bear.
My saviors.
My protectors.
I turned and watched the house and barn quickly disappear from my view.
Joshua. Bear.
Their love for me.
Mine for them.
My world was gone.
Cecilia looked at me questioningly. “Do you understand, Elizabeth?”
I nodded from my place on the sofa. Dutifully, I repeated everything back. “I woke up in the care home. I have no recollection of how I got there. Nothing they have done has helped me remember. Dr. Tate saw a repeat broadcast of the press conference and recognized me.”
She nodded, and I continued. “He contacted his lawyer, Trevor, who brought me here. And you’re here …” I trailed off.
“Simply to escort you and to be certain you are comfortable. I came because Trevor asked me.”
I stood up and went to the window, restless and unsettled. There was so much noise here. I could hear people and movement and even the traffic from outside. “Isn’t that a little convenient, Cecilia? Too close to Joshua? His lawyer and his assistant?” I asked, feeling my hands clench as I thought about Joshua.
“Trevor has a lot of clients, Elizabeth. And, no one knows I’m Joshua’s assistant. He only ever refers to me as CC and, legally, my name is Cecilia Jones. Any business I conduct on Joshua’s behalf, I go by my maiden name. Josh isn’t the only one who likes privacy.”