I Love You to Death

In the end I go.

As I arrive at the club all I can hear is a god awful noise that appears to be some off-key combination of guitar, drums and vocals that’s being labelled as music. There’s nothing musical about it. I really hope this isn’t Luke’s band, because I surely can’t sit through this crap let alone pretend it’s actually any good. I take a chance and go in and it’s a relief to discover it’s not him.

The club is almost full, which surprises me given the band that’s currently on stage. It’s also quite dark inside, which is good, the only lights being over the stage area, which spans almost the entire back wall. I head in the opposite direction and order myself a beer, sitting at the end of the bar, trying to remain hidden. Maybe if he doesn’t know it won’t count.

The awful band finally finishes and it looks like I’m not the only one who’s grateful. I see Luke and the others come out and start setting up on stage so I know he must be on next. I take a swig of my beer and sink further into the shadows. Infinity comes on stage. They plug in their instruments. Luke steps up to the microphone and says a few words to the audience and then they launch into their music and quite suddenly, I’m completely blown away.

It turns out they are really, really good.

And Luke….wow, Luke is amazing. So very different to what I expected. I didn’t even realise he’d be the lead singer, I just assumed he played guitar. I notice Jared beside him, also playing guitar and the guy who gave me the drink on drums. The bass player I vaguely remember, but I can’t think what his name is.

I turn back to Luke and watch him on stage and I find myself kind of mesmerised by him. He plays with passion, conviction and skill. His body moulds to his guitar as if he knows it intimately, like it’s a part of him. It makes my stomach churn just to watch him. I close my eyes and listen. His voice is unbelievable - scratchy, raw and it sounds very, very sexy. It stirs a weird reaction deep inside of me. I open my eyes again and keep watching him. He pretty much commands that you both look and listen to him and I’m surprised to find, I can’t turn away now.

I’m shocked. Amazed. And something very strange is happening to me, a feeling I haven’t felt in a very long time. My skin is tingling. My body feels alive. My heart is pounding, keeping time to the beat, speeding up when they reach a chorus and slowing down for the melody. Their music is intoxicating and his voice is beautiful. They do a cover of Dakota that is truly amazing and the most unique version of that song I’ve ever heard. It’s dedicated to just someone.

I watch them play for over an hour but as soon as they finish, I have to leave. I don’t want to risk staying. I almost feel like I shouldn’t have come in the first place and I’m far too nervous to stay now. I’m too scared to see him when I’m feeling like this.

On my way back home I grab a burger to eat. I pick up some more beer from the store and I slowly walk back to my apartment. Once inside, I eat my dinner and drink another beer. I take a shower and wash the smoke off me. I take my time, stalling as I stand under the hot water, remembering the night. The lingering memory of his music and the feeling I had sitting there listening to it, watching him create it. When I finally get out and get dressed, I go to my computer, my hair wrapped in a towel and look for what I know will be there. An email, just as I expected, is sitting there in my inbox.




To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: And…?




There’s nothing else, no message, just that one word in the subject line and I have to stop for a second, unsure about whether I should answer. He obviously knows I was there, despite the fact I stayed at the back of the room. I should write back. It’s the right thing to do. Right?




To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE: And…?

That band before you really sucked.




I don’t know why I do this, but I’m playing with him. I want to tease him a little. I want to drag it out, make him want it. Do something to him like he just did to me. I hit send.

He writes back immediately.




To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE:RE: And…?

But…..are you going to make me beg?

Do you want more cupcakes? I’ll bring you some right now?




I smile. I can’t help it.

I wait a minute longer not really sure why I’m doing this.




To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE:RE:RE: And…?

Really, really good Luke – I never knew you could sing as well?!

Your band, your music, your voice, it’s all amazing.

FYI the cupcake was too. Thank u.




To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE: And…?

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you for coming.…next time, stick around after we finish.

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