His Marriage to Remember

Eight



The following morning after the most incredible night of making love to his beautiful wife, Sam leisurely stretched, then rolled over to put his arm around Bria. But when he realized she wasn’t in bed beside him, he opened his eyes to look around. Apprehension filled him until he heard the shower running.

His concern quickly turned to satisfaction and, grinning, he got out of bed. Things were going to work out between them just the way he had hoped. He was sure of it. He knew Bria well enough to be certain she wouldn’t have made love with him if she intended to go through with the divorce.

Last night he had shown her in several ways how much he cared for her, how he cherished her. Surely now she understood why he worked so hard, why he did everything in his power to give her whatever she wanted. He loved her and wanted to give her her heart’s desire.

Quietly entering the bathroom, he enjoyed watching the silhouette of her luscious body through the frosted glass for a moment before walking over to open the shower door. Stepping into the spacious stall, he took her in his arms.

“Good morning, sweetheart.”

Her startled squeak quickly turned to a little moan as their water-slick bodies came together. Turning to face him, she put her arms around his waist and kissed his chest.

“Good morning, Mr. Rafferty.” She glanced down at his obvious desire for her. “I see you have another problem.”

He couldn’t seem to stop grinning. “That seems to happen to me every time I’m around you, Mrs. Rafferty.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault?” she teased, smiling at him.

Her pretty smile sent his blood pressure up a good ten notches. “So what are you going to do about it?” he asked, nodding.

“What would you suggest?” She trailed her finger from the middle of his chest down to his navel, sending blood pulsing through his veins. But when she traced the line of hair down to his sex, then took him in her hand, he felt as if his head might fly right off his shoulders.

“I think what you’re doing is a damn good start,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Anything else?” she asked, gently caressing the softness below.

His heart felt as if it might jump right out of his chest as she slowly stroked his heated body. He loved when she touched him, loved that she wasn’t shy about letting him know what she wanted.

“I think I’ve had about all of this I can take,” he said, taking her hands in his to place them on his shoulders. Wrapping his arms around her, he lifted her and she automatically locked her legs around his waist.

The feel of her breasts pressed to his chest, her hardened nipples scoring his flesh and the warmth of her femininity against his lower belly sent a wave of heat streaking through him at the speed of light. Tightening his arms to hold her to him, he captured her lips with his and as he deepened the kiss to imitate a more intimate coupling, he was rewarded with her soft moan of pleasure.

If her enthusiastic response was any indication, Bria was as turned on as he was and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he held the most exciting, desirable woman in the world. She was everything good in his life and just knowing that she would be staying with him created a need so strong it damn near buckled his knees.

He broke the kiss to draw in some much-needed oxygen. “Bria, I need you. Now.”

“I need you…too,” she said breathlessly.

Shifting her in his arms, Sam leaned back against the tiled wall of the shower to brace them, then entered her in one smooth stroke. The look of sheer delight on her beautiful face and the feel of her taking him in, her body clinging to his as if she tried to absorb him almost drove him over the edge.

“Don’t move, sweetheart,” he commanded. He clenched his teeth and used every ounce of willpower he possessed to maintain what little control he had left. “I don’t think either one of us wants this to be over before we even get started.”

“You feel so good, Sam,” she said, resting her head against his shoulder. “Please, love me.”

“I don’t think I have a choice,” he admitted, moving his lower body against her.

He tried to go slow as he set a rhythmic pace, tried to make the moment last. But wanting her as he did, it was an all but impossible task. After an entire night of loving her, how could he still be so desperate for her?

As he moved inside her, Sam quickly gave up trying to analyze his need and focused on bringing pleasure to the woman in his arms. He knew her body as well, if not better, than his own, and he could tell she was close to reaching the completion they both raced to find.

When he felt her feminine muscles tighten around him, then gently caress him as the passion overtook her, Sam found his own release from the tension holding them captive. As he held her close, he felt as if he might be consumed by the white-hot waves of pleasure surging through him. For what seemed like an eternity, he continued to hold her. He was as reluctant to end their union as she had been the night before.

“Are we going to stay like this?” she asked, lifting her head from his shoulder to smile at him.

He grinned. “I wouldn’t complain.”

“I wouldn’t either.” Laughing, she kissed his chin. “But it might make fixing your breakfast a bit difficult.”

“You do have a point,” he said, reluctantly loosening his hold to lower her to her feet. “I don’t know why, but I’m starved this morning.”

“Could it be that you expended too much energy last night and this morning?” she asked playfully.

Laughing, he nodded. “That might have something to do with it.”

“While you take your shower, I’ll go downstairs and see what I can make that will restore some of your strength,” she said, opening the shower door.

After Bria toweled herself dry and left the bathroom to get dressed and go downstairs, Sam quickly showered, then wrapping a towel around his waist, stood in front of the mirror to shave. He couldn’t seem to wipe the sappy grin from his face. Bria was going to call off the divorce. He was sure of it. He should be cleared to resume work later this afternoon when he saw the neurologist and if they were lucky, last night or this morning, he might have given her the baby they both wanted.

“Life is turning out pretty damn good,” he said to the grinning fool staring back at him from the mirror.

Wanting to spend as much time with Bria as he could before Nate showed up a little later to take him to Waco for the doctor’s appointment, Sam quickly got dressed and went downstairs. When he entered the kitchen, Bria had just finished making biscuits and gravy, hash browns and bacon.

“Would you like some scrambled eggs to go with the gravy and potatoes?” she asked, smiling at him as she set the plate and a cup of hot coffee at his place on the table.

“I’ll be lucky to eat all this,” he said, pulling a chair out to sit down.

She frowned. “I thought you said you were really hungry.”

Reaching for her, he pulled her down to sit on his lap. “I am, sweetheart, but not for food.” He nipped at her delicate earlobe. “I think I’d rather have you for breakfast.”

“You’re insatiable,” she said, putting her arms around his neck.

“I can’t help it.” He gave her a quick kiss. “You just have that effect on me.”

“What time will Nate be here to take you to see the neurologist?” she asked, snuggling against him.

“Midmorning.” Stroking her blue-jeans-clad thigh, he asked, “What do you have planned while Nate and I are gone?”

“I thought I’d drive up to Dallas to, um, do a little shopping and check on some things.” She kissed the pulse at the base of his throat. “But I’m sure I’ll be home in plenty of time to make supper.”

Sam knew she was probably going to Dallas to check on the apartment she had rented right after she left Sugar Creek Ranch. He hoped that while she was up there she would give notice to the complex manager that she would no longer be in need of the place. But she wasn’t aware that he had recovered his memory and therefore he couldn’t ask if that’s what she intended to do.

Nor could he tell her about it right away. If he did, he knew for certain she would be upset and insist that he had manipulated the situation, instead of seeing the sincerity in his actions.

“You know we didn’t use protection last night or this morning,” he said instead. “As many times as we made love, we might have been successful in making you pregnant again.” As soon as the word was out of his mouth, Sam knew he had made a grievous error and tipped his hand by the way she went completely still in his arms.

“Again?” She leaned back to look at him. “You remember that I was pregnant six months ago?”

He stared at her for several seconds before he finally nodded. There was no sense in trying to deny it. With the exception of not telling her that his memory had returned, he had never been anything but honest with her and there was no sense in lying to her now—no matter how much trouble he was about to be in.

“How much do you recall?” she asked, standing up to walk over to the kitchen island.

“Pretty much everything,” he admitted.

“So you remember that I lost our baby while you were out on the road somewhere, as well as my leaving the ranch and filing for divorce?” she asked, her tone oddly devoid of emotion.

“Yes.”

He watched her take a deep breath, then ask him point-blank, “When did you regain your memory, Sam?”

Standing up, he walked over to where she stood. When he reached out to cup her cheek, she sidestepped his touch. He dropped his hand to his side.

“I started having flashbacks a day or so before Jaron’s birthday dinner.” He took a deep breath and decided he might as well admit when the rest of his memory came back. “Then that night after everyone left—when I had the dizzy spell and you had to help me to bed—everything else came back.”

“Oh, my God, Sam,” she gasped. “That was four days ago. Why didn’t you…” He watched her shocked expression turn to suspicion, then disillusionment. “How could you do that to me? How could you manipulate me like that?”

“Bria, sweetheart, I didn’t—”

“Don’t, Sam,” she said, cutting him off. “Don’t try to justify what you’ve done.” Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. “You were spending time with me, bringing me flowers, dancing with me, being the kind of husband you thought I wanted you to be just to get me to stay, weren’t you? Then you thought once the doctor released you to work, you would go back on the road with your livestock company and everything would return to the way it was before I left. You would be home a few days out of the month and the rest of the time, I would be here at home alone.”

“I have to work, Bria.” He rubbed at the tension building in the back of his neck. “I need to make sure I can provide you with everything you could ever want or need.”

“No, you don’t. For one thing, I could care less about what you can buy me. All I’ve ever wanted was you.” Her green eyes sparkled with anger and he didn’t think he had ever seen her as furious as she was at that very moment. “We both know that you’ve already amassed enough money that you never have to work another day in your life if you don’t want to. But I never asked you to quit work completely. All I wanted was for you to cut back on your time away from the ranch and let your wranglers handle things on the road, while you managed it all from here. Which you and I both know you could do.” She shook her head. “But that doesn’t make me as angry as your deception.”

“Bria, I’ve never deceived you,” he insisted, feeling as if his world was starting to crumble around him. “The only thing I’m guilty of is not telling you that I regained my memory.”

“That’s splitting hairs and you know it, Sam. Your failure to tell me that you remembered what’s happened during the past six months is just the same as lying to me.” She walked over to where her purse hung on the hook beside the door. Taking it down, she rummaged inside for a moment, then withdrew the keys to her SUV. “I’m going back to Dallas, Sam. The divorce papers are in the upstairs guest bedroom with some of my things. Please sign them and drop them in the mail at your earliest convenience.”

“What about your clothes?” he asked as a feeling of déjà vu swept through him. He was watching her walk away from him again and there was nothing he could do or say to stop her. The only difference between this time and three months ago was that there wouldn’t be a second chance.

“If you feel like it, you can ship them to me or throw them away.” She shook her head as she opened the door. “It really doesn’t matter anymore.”

“You’re my wife. We need to talk about this.”

She stopped. “You’ve never really talked with me, Sam. Why would you start now?”

“What that’s supposed to mean?” he asked, frowning.

“We’ve been together for five years and married for three,” she said, sounding resigned. “And in all that time, you’ve never told me about your childhood, your parents or why you ended up in the care of Hank Calvert at the Last Chance Ranch.” She smiled sadly. “I loved you so much, there wasn’t anything you could tell me that I wouldn’t have understood. But you obviously didn’t trust me or my feelings for you enough to give me that opportunity.” She bit her lower lip a moment to keep it from trembling. “You wouldn’t even talk to me about the loss of our baby. So why would you talk to me about the breakup of our marriage?”

Before he could think of something—anything—to say to get Bria to stay and work things out between them, she opened the back door and walked out of the house and out of his life. And this time he knew it was forever.

* * *

When his brother arrived two hours later, Sam sat at the kitchen table, staring into the cup of coffee Bria had poured for his breakfast. It was as cold as the feeling that had filled his soul when he watched her leave a second time.

How could everything have taken such a bad turn in such a short amount of time? he wondered. And how could a man hurt so much inside without dying?

“I didn’t see Bria’s truck parked outside,” Nate said as he walked into the house. “Has she already left for her day of shopping or whatever it is women do when they head for town?”

Sam grunted. “Your guess is as good as mine. I don’t know what she’s doing right now.”

“I can see you’re in a good mood,” Nate said sarcastically. “What’s got your shorts in a wad this morning?”

Sam narrowed his eyes on his younger brother. “How much trouble was it to get Bria to stay with me until my memory returned?”

To Nate’s credit he didn’t act as if he didn’t understand what Sam was talking about. Instead, he pulled out a chair and sat down across the table from him.

“It really wasn’t all that hard.” His brother shook his head. “She wanted to do whatever she could to help you recover from the accident.”

“We would have both been better off if she hadn’t bothered and just gone on back to her new life in Dallas.” He gave his brother a pointed look. “It would have been easier on all concerned.”

“How the hell do you figure that?” Nate asked, frowning. “You couldn’t remember that the two of you were having trouble and you wouldn’t have believed me or any of the guys if we had told you.”

“I would have survived,” Sam said, shaking his head. “It wasn’t fair to ask that of her. She had to put her new life up in Dallas on hold while she waited on me to remember we’d called it quits.”

“But the divorce wasn’t your idea,” Nate pointed out. “And I don’t think it was what Bria really wanted either. You didn’t see how upset she was that first night at the hospital when we didn’t know how badly you were injured.”

“It doesn’t matter. She wants the divorce now,” Sam said, rising to scrape his untouched breakfast into the garbage disposal and pour the cold coffee down the drain.

“She’s left?” Nate asked.

“Yup.”

“So go after her and talk things out,” Nate said, his tone emphatic.

“That’s the problem,” Sam said, shaking his head. “She wants me to tell her things about myself that are better left buried in the past.”

“She doesn’t know about us?” his younger brother asked, clearly astounded.

“Nope.”

“Not even about Mom dying and the authorities having the good sense to take us out of that miserable situation once Dad took off?”

“Nope.”

“Hell, Sam, that was eighteen years ago,” Nate said, shaking his head. “I figured you had told her all about us and the fact that you attempted to take the rap for me when I tried to hold up that convenience store.”

“What good would come of it?” he asked pointedly.

“What harm would it do?” Nate retorted. “We were both kids and I’m positive Bria would understand. Besides, she’s your wife, bonehead. The last I heard, married folks share stuff like that with each other. Why the hell didn’t you tell her?”

Sam stared at his younger brother for several long seconds. “What do you know about marriage?”

“Apparently a hell of a lot more than you do.” Nate checked his watch. “I think it’s about time for us to hit the road, bro,” he said, rising to his feet and heading for the back door. “You have a doctor to see and I have a date for lunch and a little TLC from a cute little nurse.” He paused to see if Sam followed him. “And while we’re driving down to Waco, I think you had better give serious thought to making a trip up to Dallas to tell your wife what you should have told her years ago.”

As Sam grabbed his hat from one of the hooks beside the door and walked out to get into Nate’s truck, he couldn’t stop thinking about what his brother had said. Was Nate right? Would Bria understand that because of their run-in with the law, the Rafferty boys had become charges of Hank Calvert and learned to rise above their raising?

She had just said there wasn’t anything he could tell her that would make her stop loving him. Had she really meant it? Did he have the guts to tell her all his dirty little secrets and find out?

* * *

Sam stood poised to open the gate as he waited for the rider to climb on the dusty back of Black Mamba, wrap the bull rope around his hand and give the go-ahead nod to turn the bull out into the arena. As dark as the snake he was named for, the bull had never been ridden and with any luck this rider wouldn’t be the first. The fewer men who could stay on the animal for the full eight seconds, the bigger demand there would be for his appearance at the national finals at the end of the year.

“Still feeling up to par?” Ryder asked as he positioned himself beside Sam at the chute gate. It had been two weeks since Sam had returned to the rodeo circuit and all his brothers were still asking him if he was doing all right.

“Ask me that one more time and you’ll think having a bull chase you around this arena is a picnic compared to dealing with me,” Sam warned.

Ryder threw back his head and laughed. “Yup, you’re feeling just fine. Nate was right. You’re as ornery as a bear with a sore paw.” Ryder grinned. “You know, you really should do something about that, bro.”

Sam didn’t like that his brothers had been discussing his mood, and no doubt the reason for it, behind his back. They all knew Bria had left him again. But instead of leaving him be as they had the first time, they seemed to feel the need to needle him about it with little or no provocation. Of course, none of them were stupid enough to make a direct comment, but the veiled references were there just the same. They all thought he should go to Dallas and try one last time to get her back.

“You just tend to your business and I’ll take care of mine,” Sam advised, glancing at his watch.

None of them knew, and he wasn’t going to tell them, that as soon as the events were over with for the day, he had every intention of heading to Dallas with the signed divorce papers for the final showdown with his wife. It wasn’t something he was looking forward to, but he had put it off long enough. It was time that they both got on with the business of living.

When the cowboy gave him a short nod, indicating that he was ready for his turn at trying to ride the bull, Sam pulled the rope and opened the chute gate. As he watched Black Mamba get rid of the man on his back as if he was little more than a pesky fly, Sam watched Ryder spring into action and divert the bull while the cowboy sprinted to safety.

Normally, he enjoyed watching his brother play chicken with an angry bull. But for reasons Sam couldn’t quite put his finger on, Ryder’s daredevil antics didn’t hold his attention the way they used to. In fact, since returning to work a week ago, he found that being on the road all the time didn’t hold nearly the appeal that it once had, either.

Sam frowned. Had his forced downtime changed him that much?

As he thought about staying at home with Bria and what they had shared, he found himself with more regrets than just a few. She was right. In the past, he hadn’t taken the time to be with her the way he should have. She was also right about him not having to be on the road if he didn’t want to be. The Sugar Creek Rodeo Company was highly successful and one of the main reasons was due to the men he had hired to wrangle the animals. They were all good at their jobs and any one of them could oversee things while they were traveling from one rodeo to another. And usually one of his brothers was either competing in or working the rodeos that had contracted him to supply the livestock. They would be more than happy to keep an eye out for any problems that arose.

He took a deep breath and then another as he came to terms with what Bria had been trying to tell him all along. He had wanted to give her everything she ever wanted. But he had missed seeing that by spending time with her the way he had when he was off work with the concussion, he was doing just that—giving her her heart’s desire.

He shook his head at his own foolishness when he realized where his heart really was. It was back at Sugar Creek Ranch. Unfortunately, his reason for wanting to be there—hell, his reason for living—wasn’t.

Glancing at his watch, he motioned for his brother, T.J. “Take over for me.”

“Where are you going? Are you all right?” T.J. asked, frowning. “I’ve never known you to leave before a rodeo is over.” He shook his head. “At least, when they aren’t hauling your butt out on a stretcher.”

“I have something I need to take care of,” Sam answered, handing him the gate rope.

“Does your business happen to be in Dallas?” T.J. asked, grinning.

He shook his head. “Don’t be a smart-ass.”

“Tell Bria we all said hey,” Ryder called as he positioned himself next to T.J. at the chute gate.

Ignoring his brothers, Sam quickly made his way out of the arena and through the personnel exit to his truck. He had no idea what he was going to say to her or if it would make any difference with her.

All he knew for sure was that he had to try. He would regret every single moment of every single day for the rest of his life if he didn’t.