Hard to Hold On

Epilogue

Four years later

Natalie

“Natalie! Hurry up!” Harper yells from the front of the apartment.

“I’m coming, Harp! You came too damn early.” I sigh as I scurry around for my purse, thinking it’s on the bed when it’s actually hanging on the knob of my closet door. I check the mirror one last time, fluffing my hair that’s been dyed a rich brown.

Harper took me for a girl’s day out earlier and it caught me by surprise. She knows I have finals at the end of the week and that I should be studying but she says it’s important so I went with her on it. I bought a champagne colored dress, gold accessories, and gold sandals.

“Harp, we can’t be out all night. Nolan will kill me if he finds out I’m going with you when I have finals this week.”

“Screw Nolan. It’s your birthday. I’m taking my girl out.” She grins as she swings the door open. “Let’s go. We’re already late.” I stare down at the diamond that’s on her ring finger. I always forget she has it. Since I’ve moved in with Nolan, Harp and I haven’t been in a lot of contact lately but when we are, we talk way too much. Harp, Grace, and I talk on three-way as much as we can.

Grace actually moved to Texas with her brother to take up a singing opportunity a few years ago. I haven’t talked with her much lately but I know she’s doing well because she sends me a few photos to keep me updated.

The last time Harper called, she told me Dawson had proposed to her. I was in complete awe but beyond happy for her. Dawson and Harper have had some pretty rough times, too, but they’ve gotten through it. They’re meant for each other. Dawson got a job teaching kids how to surf while Harper finally got her dream job in becoming an assistant for a famous fashion designer.

Brittany and Jordan got married a year ago but are still in Miami, striving to accomplish their biggest goals in life. Brittany actually became a kindergarten teacher and also the host for Open Mic nights at lounge Haven. I still go to Haven on a few nights with Nolan to read my poetry or to listen to him and Jordan sing the latest songs they’ve written. Jordan is still singing his heart out but unlike before, when he did it for free, he gets paid for it by giving voice and guitar lessons.

There was a night when Nolan and I were watching the news and what we’d come across was shocking yet satisfying to see and hear. It was a mug shot of Tyler on the screen, mentioning how he’d been arrested for over twenty rapes and over fifty date-raping endeavors. It seems some girl had found his stash of drugs and ratted him out before he could get to her again and he was sentenced to prison for fifty-five years.

When Brittany saw that the law offices were looking for victims, she called me first thing and we’d decided to go to the police station and report our past encounters with Tyler as well. It felt good to rat his ass out and I knew on Brittany’s behalf, it took a load off her chest because her time with him was much worse. I couldn’t have been more relieved to know he and his demonic ways were locked up and never touching innocent girls again. I still had no clue where Sharon was or what she was doing and as long as she didn’t mess with me and Nolan again, I didn’t care.

“What if he calls?” I ask, locking the door behind me. “He’s at Dawson’s right now. He might leave early or something.”

“Don’t answer your phone if he calls. If he’s here when you get back, pretend you went to get some tampons or something. Nolan’s not big on complaining—plus I told Dawson to keep him around for a little while I take you out.”

“Dawson does anything for you,” I giggle as we head down the stairs of the complex.

“He loves me,” she sighs, twirling her key ring around her finger. “What can I say?”

“I see that and by the way, you look adorable,” I say, observing her in her soft-pink tutu-like dress. It’s not too girly at all. It’s just right for someone like Harper.

“Thanks!” She flashes a smile and we hit the parking lot. As soon as we’re in her car, she takes off to a place she claims is a surprise.

****

“This looks kind of expensive,” I say to Harper, unclipping my seat belt.

“Don’t complain if you aren’t paying,” she sasses, stepping out of the car.

I roll my eyes, grabbing my purse and climbing out. As we reach the door, there’s already a line of people waiting. Some turn to look back at us, wondering how the hell we’re going to get a table this late. It’s around seven at night. Unless Harper has reserved a table, we’re shit out of luck.

“This way,” Harp says, grabbing my wrists and going for the stairs to our right.

“Where the hell are you taking me? Nothing’s upstairs,” I complain.

Ignoring me, she continues her way up and a cool breeze hits against us. We meet the last step and a door appears ahead. “Okay,” she says. “Breathe,”

I frown at her. She’s really starting to worry me. “Breathe for what? What’s wrong, Harper?”

Her eyes glisten as she looks at me. “Don’t be mad at me, but this whole evening that I’m supposed to be spending with you isn’t going to happen,” she blurts.

I blink quickly. “W-what do you mean? If you’ve dragged me out here for no reason—”

“I didn’t! Just . . . screw it. I’m just really excited. I’m surprised I didn’t say anything along the way!”

“What do you mean “say anything”? Seriously, you’re confusing me.”

She ignores me and pushes the door open. A flat roof appears ahead but the decorative lights on the railings causes me to gasp. I step out slowly, in complete awe as the spring breeze of Miami brushes against me. A few rose petals are lying on the ground, creating a trail. I look back at Harper slowly and she nods her head, encouraging me to follow it.

I take cautious steps ahead, following the lights above that are intertwined with vines before looking down at the rose petals below. The lights and rose petals carry on until I see a table centered on the middle of the roof. The breeze continues to brush against me and I’m glad because at the sight of Nolan, I need all of the air I can take in.

My first thought is, “Oh shit, I’m in trouble”, but then I notice the smile on his lips. I notice his eyes are soft and gentle instead of angry and he’s dressed up in black dress pants and the blue cardigan Mills sent to him a while back. I’ve always wondered when he would wear it. He’s cut his hair but it’s all the same. Still gelled to be sexy. He’s trimmed the facial hair that’d grown in over the years to a goatee. He looks amazing.

“Hi, Bunny,” he whispers from across the roof.

I exhale as he takes a few steps towards me. “Nolan, what is all this? I thought you were at Dawson’s.”

“This,” he says, stretching his arms and looking around with, “is my way of proposing to you.”

My eyes stretch. I want to speak but the words have caught in my throat. They catch even more as he grabs both of my hands and stares into my eyes, his calm and grey.

“Natalie, since day one I knew you were different. I knew you were the girl who could make me better—the girl who could get me to straighten myself up. Over the course of these few years, I’ve come to realize that no other female on this earth can make me as happy as you can. No other girl can please me, make me smile, or even tease me like you can. While I’m with you, I feel like a man—I just feel so alive and I feel like I actually have a purpose. My purpose is to make the girl of my dreams happy.

“I want to be the guy you wake up with every single morning and I want my arms to be the only arms you’re between every night when you’re feeling down, when you’re happy, or even when we’re sleeping. I want to be your all and I want you to be mine for the rest of my life. I want to continue to make music that requires the inspiration of you. I want me and Jordan to sing in his garage about the loves of our lives until our voices dry out. I want to teach the students of my music class the meaning behind music—where it all comes from. The heart.”

He lowers on one knee and my heart thuds as he reveals a soothing smile. His fingers wrap around my hand and I pull my free hand up, pressing it against my lips because I can’t believe this is happening. “It took me forever to come up with that speech,” he chuckles, his head lowering, “but I mean all of it. It’s you and me, Natalie, and it always will be. I love you more than words can explain so I’m asking you . . .” he pulls out a jewelry box from his pocket and holds it up in front of me, “. . . if you will make me the happiest man on this planet by becoming my wife?”

With that, he’s set the waterworks within me on full blast. I’m so blinded by tears that I feel foolish . . . but they’re tears of joy. Tears of something I’ve always dreamed of. “Yes, Nolan,” I whisper. He grins, sliding the ring onto my finger and then stands. I lace my arms around his neck and hug him as tightly as I can. I want the tears to stop but they won’t. I just want to smile—and I am. I’m smiling like I never have before.

Harper and Dawson appear out of nowhere and begin to clap and cheer us on. “Kiss, kiss, kiss!” they chant.

I giggle, pulling back a little to look at the goofy couple and then into Nolan’s eyes. “I love you, Nolan,” I murmur before kissing him gently. He cups my face, stroking the flesh behind my ears and along my jawline as he kisses me back.

He then breaks the kiss, staring into my eyes with a smile so sincere that it causes me to fall in love with him even more. “I love you, Mrs. Young. Forever and always.”