Hard to Hold On

chapter Thirty-Four



Nolan



Mills and I decided to head for the bank to split the money. We settle on half-and-half of course and with my half, I can’t wait to put some use to it. I know with this money, things will start to look up for me. What I didn’t know was that Mills is planning on moving sooner than I initially thought.

“You and Lorie gonna have babies soon, too?” I ask, attempting to ease into it the best way I can.

He laughs as he opens one of the drawers to his dresser. I lean against the frame of his door and watch as he walks from his dresser to his closet. He shuffles through it until he pulls out a large suitcase. “No babies. It’s just time for us to actually start living on our own.”

I nod because I completely understand. “All the way to California, though? You get on my nerves but that’s so far away. It’s definitely not going to be the same without you around.”

“I know.” He drops his suitcase on the bed to turn and face me. “You’ll be alright, though. Keep doing what you’re doing now. You’re right on track—just don’t f*ck up with Natalie again.”

“I won’t. I’ve learned a lot this past month. Letting her go is something I never should have done. It won’t happen again.”

“Did she take you back?”

I smirk. “Yep.”

“For good? She’s done with whoever she had on the side?”

“She’s done,” I tell him.

“Good. She’s good for you. Lorie and I decided moving next month is best. I have a ton of shit to pack so it’s best to get started now,” he sighs.

It’s not usual for my heart to plummet for Mills but it does. “Next month,” I repeat.

He nods, shrugging. “Yeah. She’s already found a teaching job over there. I can work for Tike again. He’s been telling me that I should move up to a better position. Thought I’d take him up on it this time. The only reason I didn’t before is because I didn’t want you to be offended by it.” He looks me over, his eyebrow arching. “You aren’t going to cry, are you?”

I shake my head with a dry laugh. “No it’s just going to be weird without you around—I mean you piss me off to no end but you’re my brother. We’ve been stuck together for years. To split is going to feel . . . different.”

“Trust me, I know,” he sighs. “But this is where you take off. You and me both. This is where we learn. We can’t always be together but we know where our hearts are. You’re my brother so you know I have nothing but love for you. I know you’ll be fine here with Natalie and if shit starts to go downhill, you call me. If you need advice, pick up your phone. I’ll always have time for my baby brother.” He winks and I nod.

“I guess I love you, too, man.”

“I know you do. Lorie tells me I’m handsome every day. I’m sure you feel the same way. Who doesn’t?”

I laugh hysterically as he winks at me. “Maybe I should consider you the fag.”

“Never that, brother,” he chuckles, making his towards his dresser again.

My phone buzzes in my back pocket and I check it.

Annoying Bitch.

I walk away from Mills’s room to go for the living room. Pressing the phone to my ear, I answer it, my tone irate.

“Nolan, listen to me. This is important.” The panic behind Sharon’s voice makes me hold back on my attitude.

“What is it?”

“I followed Tyler to school. He’s been watching Natalie from his car and even after she went inside. He’s been sending negative vibes lately so I thought it would be best to figure out what’s going on with him. He’s back at it again—the date rape drugs and things I thought he had given up on. The night at the party, that’s what it was. He put something in Natalie’s drink. He was my main reason of coming to Miami. I had to check on him. He stopped answering my calls a while back when I wanted updates with him and her—”

“Hold on,” I snap, cutting her off. “He drugged Natalie?” I pull my keys out of my pocket and rush for the door. Slamming it behind me, I dash down the stairs of my complex.

“I don’t know but I think you should come to Miami-Dade. This started as a joke—as a game—but he’s gotten carried away with it. He’s going into the school now.”

I allow her no more time to speak. I end the call and rush for my car, tucking my phone into my pocket. Nothing but fury is blinding me but I don’t care. I speed out of the parking lot because knowing he’s in the same building as her is getting to me. I can’t afford for her to get hurt again.

****

I feel like I’m too late. I’d hit the streets during lunch hour so there was a ton of traffic. I come to a screech in the parking lot, put the car in park, hop out, and rush for the school—that is until I see Natalie coming out of the front door.

And then I see Tyler standing off to the right. His fingers are tucked into his front pockets. He’s leaning against the wall where no one would look when they’re coming out of the school, a shadow hovering above him. Natalie makes her way forward and he pushes from the wall to follow after her.

I leave no time for him to even get close. I rush for him and as he sees me, his eyes broaden but I don’t stop charging for him. Natalie spots me rushing her way and her eyes are wider than golf balls. She then notices that I’m not looking at her. My target is Tyler.

My fist lifts and I punch him square in the jaw. “Nolan!” Natalie yells as I jump on top of him. I’m not sparing him. All I can see is red. All I can think is all of this time, all he’s been trying to do is f*ck my girlfriend. He drugged my girlfriend.

My fists continue to crash against his face until his head falls. My knuckles throb as someone pulls me up. I spin around quickly, ready to hit but at the sight of Natalie’s wide brown eyes, I stop. Guilt surfaces as she reaches down to help me unclench my fists. I end up loosening them but they still hurt.

“Nolan,” someone calls from behind us. I turn around, spotting Sharon standing above Tyler. As she stares down at him, her eyes sadden but then she shakes her head. “I said it before, but I’m sorry for everything. Seriously.” Tyler groans and a few people pass by, staring from him to my bloody knuckles. Sharon lifts Tyler up and hooks his arm around her shoulder. She drags him towards the parking lot and Natalie and I watch until they’re in the car and swerving out of the parking lot.

“Come on, Nolan,” Natalie murmurs to me, bringing me back to sanity. Her angelic voice has just removed all of the anger. Her smooth skin against mine has made me want to do nothing but go along with her. “Are you going to be okay driving?” she asks as she spots my car and goes for it.

“I should be,” I mutter. “I should have just come with you. Did he hurt you?”

“No, Nolan. Sharon showed up. She stopped him before he could try anything.”

“Good.”

She pulls my car door open and I climb in. “You sure you’re alright?” she asks, leaning inside. She kisses my cheek and my heart beats in overtime.

“Fine, Bunny. Just need to cool off . . . I should have just killed him. I was close.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” she scolds. “He’s not worth it to go to prison over. I’ll switch classes—maybe switch community colleges if he ever tries to show up again. He said he was leaving but I doubt it. It’s nothing we can’t handle.”

I smile. “I love how you use “we” instead of “I”. Means something, huh?”

Giggling, she hooks her arms around my neck and reels me in for a kiss. I don’t hesitate on sliding my tongue into her mouth, grabbing her waist, and breathing her in. There’s never a time when I don’t enjoy this. Her embrace is one I want to hold onto forever—one that I never want to let go of.

She’s all I need. There’s no losing her again.