“Good. Sorry I didn’t get to call back and check on you. My grandma needed me to come over and move a bunch of stuff down to the basement for her and it took forever.”
“It’s fine. I slept most of the day anyway,” I lied. I couldn’t keep my head clear long enough to even have a coherent conversation with Antonio, especially not with the view I had of AJ as we stood there. Antonio must’ve noticed that I was distracted, because after a few more attempts to pull conversation out of me, he gave up.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you after class then,” he said.
“Ok, see ya,” I replied, smiling to ease his mind. He smiled back and then leaned in to kiss me before leaving to get to homeroom. All I could think of was AJ still standing at his locker, watching. After making a split second decision, I quickly turned my head about an inch and presented my cheek to Antonio instead of my lips. The look on his face was beyond description. Although he was used to me being standoffish when it came to public displays of affection, I’d never denied him like that.
“What’s that about?” He asked with irritation boiling over in his tone.
“I…I told you I was sick yesterday. I don’t want you to catch it too,” I replied deceitfully. It took him a few seconds to let that sink in and get over my reaction, but he was able to shake it off. When he turned to go to class, I caught a glimpse of AJ smiling to himself as he shut his locker and walked away. Things were going to be more complex than I thought. But why? I shouldn’t be putting AJ’s feelings before Antonio’s like this.
I smiled at Mr. Talbert when I passed his desk to take my seat and he waved when he looked up from his attendance sheet. If I was lucky, I wouldn’t have any more awkward moments like that, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that it was very likely. The conversations going on around me were simply background noise. I don’t think I listened to even one word of it; not even when Mr. Talbert got up to speak. I was focused on trying to figure out why I’d snubbed Antonio moments before; what I was doing entertaining these thoughts of AJ; why I wasn’t trying to stay away from him since it was becoming apparent that I had some sort of weakness for him; and how in the heck I was going to put an end to all this.
When lunchtime rolled around, it felt like a bolder was sitting in the pit of my stomach. Eating was out of the question; I’d be doing good to keep my breakfast down at this rate. The thought of being stuck in the same room with both Antonio and AJ was enough to make me seriously consider going to the office and faking an illness. Antonio met me outside my class to walk me to the lunchroom without noticing that I checked over my shoulder every now and again.
“I gotta run to the mall later. Wanna go?” He asked. I nodded absentmindedly, only half listening to his question. “I need to find some new white gym shoes,” he added.
“Yeah, I don’t have anything to do. Why not,” I replied as we approached the door to the lunchroom. As soon as we entered, my heart skipped a beat. AJ was standing by the vending machine with two other guys that I assumed were friends of his. He looked up and it seemed as though he stopped midsentence, directing all of his attention toward me. His friends looked at him strangely for a second and then followed his gaze. I quickly looked away and stared straight ahead until I reached my table where I sat with my eyes glued to the floor to avoid slipping up and watching AJ like I wanted to. It was so bad that I could feel a burning in my chest as I fought against the urge.
When the bell sounded for us to go to class, I breathed a sigh of relief. Antonio stretched. “I can’t walk you to class; I told Mr. Hernandez that I’d get the TV from the Media Center on my way. Is that cool?” He asked.
I looked up. “Yeah, I’ll just see you after school.” He smiled and I think he wanted to try the kiss again, but refrained. We parted ways at the doors and I took a deep breath, feeling as though I’d narrowly escaped disaster.