I made it halfway down the hall when I heard a low voice in my ear. “So, I had an idea,” AJ said.
Before responding, I searched around nervously for anyone who might’ve been paying attention to us talking. I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea – or maybe it was the right idea. “What’s that?” I asked.
He smiled as he walked up beside me with his hands in his pockets. “I was thinking I could skip practice today and hang out with you again,” he suggested. “Want to?”
A smile crept up on me. If he wasn’t careful, all this attention he was giving me was gonna go to my head. My brain was screaming YES! But I had to bring it back to the middle. What about Antonio? What about the plans we’d just made together? I was just about to tell AJ, “No, I can’t today. I can’t ever. This isn’t gonna work because I have a man and you’re not him. Sorry, AJ, but let’s just be friends.” However……something completely different came out of my mouth. “Yeah…….I do.” Something told me he already knew I’d accept his invitation.
“Good. Meet me at my car after school lets out. If I’m gonna go, I have to leave quick before my coach catches me.” Great. Now on top of having to come up with a lie to tell Antonio, I had to blow him off quickly or forfeit my time with AJ.
“I’ll be there,” I promised. Our pace was steady as we climbed the stairs side by side. I made sure to keep enough space between us so that, to everyone else, it wouldn’t look like AJ and I knew each other at all. I spotted Megan down the hall and tensed up a little, and unfortunately, AJ detected it.
“You do know we’re not doing anything wrong right now, don’t you?” He asked condescendingly.
“Maybe not right now, but we’re definitely not supposed to be doing…..whatever it is we’re doing,” I replied, folding my arms across my chest as I walked.
At Ms. Jamison’s doorway, I hesitated and let AJ walk in before me just in case Leslie was watching. He and I both took our seats and I sat there, still as ever with my hands folded and planted on top of my desk as I tried in vain to focus on something other than AJ. It was strange to think how I’d sat beside him in this class for more than a month and never even took a second look. I never would’ve thought that someone like him would even consider someone like me. That’s not to say that I’m not a force to be reckoned with, but there’s a separation among races that isn’t often spoken of. When I think of what specific men look for in a woman, to me, those preferences are influenced greatly by that man’s race. For instance, as a general rule, most African-American men look for a woman with a little meat on her bones; kinda like me. White guys like their women bone-thin and top heavy. A “brotha” could generally care less if his woman had breasts or not as long as she looks like she was hauling freight behind her. When I think of Asian men, I picture them with Asian women. Period. Mainly because that’s how I always see it. So, it’s possible that I never picked AJ up on my radar for the simple fact that I wouldn’t have thought he’d reciprocate my interest.