Unable to help myself, I stole a glance at him when Ms. Jamison instructed the class to turn to page 109 to read a passage. I smiled and quickly looked down at my book when I realized that he was already watching me……and so was Leslie. I shot her a tight smile and tried to pretend as though nothing had changed. But that was a far cry from the truth. Everything had changed. How could I be so into Antonio just a few short days ago, and now preparing to break a date with him for another guy? It just didn’t seem possible that someone’s feelings could get so mixed up so quickly, but I was living proof that it could happen.
The end of the day came much more quickly than I’d prepared myself for. It was time to tell Antonio whatever I had to in order to ditch him and do what my heart was telling me to do. He was daydreaming while watching me approach my locker where he always waited at the end of the day. This wasn’t going to be easy, but I was surprisingly sure that I wanted to go through with it; the only problem was getting away with it.
“Ready?” He asked.
I almost lost my nerve…..almost. “Actually, I’m gonna have to take a rain-check. Cramps,” I said and then pointed to my stomach. “I think I’m gonna head home and lay down until it passes.” I hated the sound of a lie leaving my mouth. Antonio leaned his head to the side and looked me up and down with scrutiny; almost like he wasn’t sure if he believed me or not. I had to make it more convincing. “I think that may have had something to do with me feeling so bad yesterday.”
He sighed and gave in to disappointment. “Alright. Maybe I’ll see if Brian’s busy. He’ll probably wanna go.”
“Okay, I’ll text you later if I feel up to it,” I replied and then checked the time on my phone before stuffing my bag in my locker and grabbing my purse and keys from the hook.
“I’ll still walk you to your car,” he insisted.
With a forced smile, I replied. “Okay.” This wasn’t good. AJ would be waiting on me and if I didn’t get to him soon, he’d either have to leave without me or he’d think I was chickening out and would just go to practice. I had to think quickly, so I took out my phone and sent him a message to just meet me at my house. That was smarter anyway just in case Antonio decided to go all Sherlock Holmes and ride past my house later to see if I was telling the truth.
We stood beside my Civic for a moment and I couldn’t really see A.J’s car where it was parked anymore because the lot had filled up since the morning. It crossed my mind that Antonio might try to say his goodbyes with another kiss and I couldn’t risk it.
“I’m feeling really bad. I’m gonna take off,” I said. After a brief hug I hopped in the car and felt my chest heaving from stress. Antonio stood beside my car looking lost for the few seconds it took me to start the engine and back out. From the rearview mirror, I could still see him standing there when I pulled out into the street.
Nothing I was doing or thinking was like me. I’d completely put my moral values aside to play around with the idea of getting to know AJ a little better. Is it worth it? Is it worth losing Antonio? Next week, will AJ even remember my name, or is he the type to jump from one girl to the next like Antonio used to do before we hooked up? It would almost serve me right to hurt a good guy who changed his ways for me and then be taken advantage of by someone who was just like Antonio used to be. How ironic would it be for me to tame one lion only to be devoured by another? The sad thing is: it was too late. I’d already lied to Antonio and started on the path that led to AJ.
When I pulled into my driveway, he was driving up behind me. Quickly shutting the door, I walked swiftly to AJ’s car and climbed in and immediately began looking around at all the extras he’d added to it; he definitely had money to throw around. My attention was averted from all the gadgets when I laid eyes on him.
“Anywhere in particular you wanna go?” He asked.
I shook my head. “No, not really.” All I really wanted was to be next to him, but there wasn’t any way I’d ever say that out loud.
“Then we’ll just drive,” he said and backed away from my house. The breeze was blowing through my window, causing me to close my eyes. I felt more relaxed around him now outside of school. There wasn’t much of a reason to worry about anyone seeing us and thinking anything.
The sound of AJ yawning made me face him and reopen my eyes. “Tired?”
“Just a little. I didn’t get much sleep last night,” he replied.