At the sound of horns blaring and tires screeching across the pavement, the tension returned – sending every muscle in my body into paralysis. The relief I’d so foolishly allowed to disarm me was abruptly snatched away. I instinctively gripped the steering wheel tighter until my fingers nearly became one with the leather. I searched for the oncoming danger that the other drivers apparently saw. I couldn’t decide whether to speed up or to brake. Whatever the threat, I was blind to it.
It was then that I turned to my left to search again. My body became rigid. Shock overcame me and the consuming paralysis finally spread to my brain. Each passing second felt like an hour. It was as though the entire scene was unfolding in slow motion. I could see her smiling as she accelerated toward me with hatred in her eyes. There was no way to avoid the oncoming accident. It was inconceivable – this girl actually despised me enough to risk losing her own life just to end mine. I closed my eyes and braced myself. The ominous silence as I accepted my fate was so heavy that it anchored me to my seat. On impact, the deafening noise flooded my senses. Metal twisted and bowed around me as I closed my eyes. The windows seemed to explode simultaneously, causing glass to whisk through the air, slicing into my skin like searing razor blades.
The last fleeting memory that I have from that day is the sensation of intense pain that engulfed my body. Every dream, every regret, every mistake, every fear, every hope, all of the things that I should have said to those that I love, every apology that I owed, every wrong that I’d committed, suddenly spread through my brain like wildfire – accompanying the physical pain in perfect syncopation.
Instinctively, I held my breath as the car spun and flipped violently across the road and finally down the embankment. Fear had taken on a life of its own as it choked me vengefully. Life had a score to settle and a balance to restore. As everything began to go dark and silent, I had a moment of clarity, realizing how all of my actions had come full circle. This – all of it – was my fault. It seemed appropriate that I was reaping what I sowed. I’d done enough wrong in the past few months for three lifetimes. At what felt like the end for me, there was nothing I could do to change the past.
Chapter Eighteen
“Shh shh shh. I think she’s waking up,” a voice whispered. My eyelids felt like they were fighting to stay closed as my brain willed them open. The hazy pale white light made them ache as I tried to focus. Slowly, the figures around me began to take shape. My mother leaned down toward me and smiled. My immediate reaction was to sit up, but the searing pain in every limb of my body made that impossible. “Don’t try to move just yet, Baby Girl,” Daddy said. I moved my eyes to the right and saw him standing beside me. My eyelids suddenly felt heavy again and I had no choice but to let them close.
“I think she’s going to be okay, “ I heard my father say quietly and then it sounded like he was choking back tears, but that couldn’t have been right because I’d never seen my father cry in my entire life. Mom picked up my hand and stroked the back of it softly. I mustered up the strength to open my eyes again, but only halfway this time. There were others in the room, but I couldn’t make out who anyone else was.
I squinted to force myself to focus, but a sharp pain shot through my head causing me to gasp for air loudly. My mother panicked and held my hand more tightly. “Don’t overdo it honey. Just relax. Everything’s going to be fine. We’re here with you.”