“Do you not get it? You were a fucking wreck,” Stacey yells, pacing from the living room to the kitchen. “And for what? Because you dared to go to a party without his consent? Who the fuck kicks the woman he claims to love out of the house they share because she disobeyed his wishes?”
“That’s not what it was and you know it,” I say softly. When it comes to Stacey, I can’t bring myself to fight. Maybe I would have if Xavier and I had talked while at home, but having time and distance to process my thoughts, I see that there’s nothing there to salvage. In reality, I think she and I have been drifting for a long time, this issue coming to light has just served as the catalyst for both of us to head in the direction our lives are supposed to take. “I think you need to go.”
On the off-chance that my serenity is a fa?ade, I retreat to my bedroom, leaning against the door until I hear her leave. And then, I slide to the floor and cry.
For the loss of my best friend.
For the knowledge that Xavier had tried to talk to me. And that there’s not a thing I can do about it.
For Alyssa, the woman I wanted to hate and couldn’t, who will be taken away from us far too soon.
And I cry, knowing that in less than seventy-two hours, my heart has gone from somewhat healthy to completely and devastatingly empty.
Chapter 8
If avoidance was a sport, Melanie would be well on her way to the professional ranks by this point. In the three weeks since we flew home from the cruise, it’s been entertaining to see the lengths she is willing to go to in order to avoid being in the same room with me. At first, it was that she needed to switch out laundry, at which point I reminded her that she is not the housekeeper. She ignored me, mumbling something about wanting to give me more time to spend with Jacob and Alyssa.
The day my leave was approved, I thought she was going to choke on her water when I burst into Alyssa’s room late in the day to tell her that I wasn’t going back to the office. Alyssa, bless her heart, assured Melanie that having me home didn’t mean we didn’t want her there, assuming that’s why she reacted the way she did.
Now, with Jacob and Alyssa both napping, there’s nothing for either one of us to do. I sit on the couch, pretending to surf the web on my iPad while Melanie bustles around the kitchen, making a grocery list. No doubt, once she has that list compiled, she will rush out the front door so she can get away from me. I accept full blame for the return of the awkwardness between us. It was wrong of me to revisit the past for my own selfish reasons. Not only has it created a chasm between us, it’s left me with greater guilt than I’ve ever felt because admitting that I feel anything for Melanie feels like a betrayal to Alyssa.
“Hey, brother,” Braydon whispers when he walks into the living room, making me jump off the couch. How in the hell did he manage to walk through our front door and sneak up on me? “Whatcha looking at?” he asks, glancing at the iPad that is still sitting on the home screen. Realizing that the device in my lap is only for show, his gaze travels to the kitchen, where Melanie is hunched over the counter.
“Don’t,” I warn him. While he and Melanie are getting along now, he hasn’t made any secret of the fact that he doesn’t agree with me allowing her to stay on as Alyssa’s hospice companion. He’s not wrong to tell me that I’m doing more harm than good by having her here, but I don’t need to hear it.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he hisses, sitting down opposite of me on the couch. “Alyssa is getting weaker every day, and now I walk in here and you look like a lovesick fool, trying to be sly about watching the object of his affection. That’s fucking low, even for you.”
“I told you to leave it be, Bray,” I warn him again. Melanie raises her head, her brows furrowed together. Obviously, I’m not as quiet as I thought I had been. Lowering my voice, I continue, “You couldn’t be more off-base about your assumptions. And no, I’m not going to go into the details with you, so drop it.”
Braydon holds his hands out in front of him, surrendering this fight. He turns to look down the hall and I shake my head to answer the question he’s not asking. It’s morbid, but it feels as if death watch has been going on for about a week now. Alyssa’s health declined rapidly after the trip. She’s sleeping most of the time, unless the pain radiating through her body wakes her. This morning, she breathing was ragged when I checked on her. We’ve both researched what will happen when it’s getting close to time, despite every warning her doctors and Melanie have issued. We’re not stupid men, we know it won’t be long now.
“Just be careful, okay?” I look at my brother and see genuine concern in his eyes. “I know how much you loved Melanie. I’m pretty sure you probably still do. But I also know how much Alyssa means to you. You can’t use Melanie as a crutch after Alyssa dies. It’s not fair to you, to her, or to your wife’s memory.”