“But she could be, right?” I get the feeling he’s not going to let this go. Because Alyssa has been sick for so much of Jacob’s life, we haven’t had many close friends hanging around. It’s mostly been the two of us and Braydon in his life until Melanie.
“No, she couldn’t. But sometimes, we are lucky enough to have friends who are close to us like family, so that’s a good thing.” I hear the front door close and look up to see none other than the object of my son’s affection smiling back at us. Jacob runs down the hall and I watch as she squats down, picking him up and swinging him around as she kisses his cheeks. “Good morning, Melanie.”
“Hey, Xavier,” she practically sings. I shake my head, realizing that under her perky exterior, she’s likely thinking of ways to kill me and make it look like an accident. Thanks to my sick wife, she’s being forced to endure two of her least favorite things; Christmas and church. Three if you include the fact that she’s going to suffer through a holiday with me. “Is Alyssa still sleeping?”
She helps herself to a cup of coffee, floating around the kitchen as if she’s completely at home here. Before I get through mentally berating myself for lingering on that thought for too long, Melanie is reaching around me to grab the oatmeal I had started preparing for Jacob before he distracted me by asking questions about whether or not Melanie is family.
I can’t tell Jacob that there was a time when Melanie was the most important person in my life. She was my world. And then everything we shared crumbled. Deep in my heart, I know that there will always be a place where Melanie resides, but I can’t allow that to come to the surface because Alyssa and Jacob are my life now. The bond that will never be severed with Melanie has to remain a secret because I will never do anything that will hurt them.
Chapter 4
I can’t stop myself from standing in front of the bay window in the living room, waving goodbye to Xavier and Jacob as they head out for some last minute shopping. Jacob was relentless after breakfast, insisting that they had to find Alyssa the perfect gift, something that would make her happy. Xavier glanced over the boy’s head, silently pleading with me to save him. He and I both know that Alyssa doesn’t want anything because she’s come to terms with the fact that she won’t be around long enough to truly enjoy it, but there’s no way a four-year old’s mind can grasp that concept.
“I think that’s a great idea,” I say cheerfully, kissing the top of Jacob’s head as I clear the breakfast dishes from the table. The simple action is like a knife twisting somewhere deep within me. With every passing day, it’s getting harder to see the line between personal and professional interactions. The safe distance I’ve maintained with previous clients and their families has proven impossible with the Ross family.
“Melanie, can I speak with you for a moment?” Xavier asks. Only I know from the tone of his voice that it is not a request. “Jacob, go turn on cartoons and we’ll be out in a minute.”
I follow Xavier down the hall, head bowed submissively. No matter how much I tell my body that this is no longer my role in his life, it refuses to comply.
“What were you thinking?” Xavier hisses once we’re in the privacy of Jacob’s bedroom. It’s the only room in the house where we won’t be overheard given the fact that I refuse to set foot in the master bedroom ever again.
Risking Xavier scolding me for overstepping my bounds, I place my hands on his broad shoulders, holding him steady as I speak. He’s not going to like what I have to say, but he needs to hear the words. “Xavier, we all know Alyssa is dying, but he doesn’t. Even if he knows his mom is sick, even if he can see that she’s getting a little bit weaker every day, he doesn’t realize this is the last Christmas Eve he will get to spend with her. That tomorrow is her last Christmas morning with him. You need to get past what your intellectual mind knows and give him what he desperately needs right now. And that is for you to put a smile on your face, strap him into his car seat, and find Alyssa the best gift you possibly can.”
I see the tears welling in Xavier’s eyes and I know I’ve cut him deep. His chest rises and falls in unsteady breaths as his mind processes what I’ve said. Beating down everything in my body that is screaming for me to get out of this room and run as fast as I can, I wrap my arms around Xavier’s waist, pulling him close to me. He tenses momentarily before leaning into me, allowing me to hold him as the tears begin streaming down his face.