I walk into the living room, my hand wrapped tightly around the box in my front pocket. I told Melanie to meet me in here and I’m pleased to see that she has obeyed. Flames from the fireplace cast dancing shadows across the walls. In the center of the room, the epicenter of my life kneels, completely naked, waiting for me.
“You have pleased me,” I say in a low voice, standing less than a foot away from her. “Are you wondering why I asked you to meet me in here tonight?”
Melanie’s eyes never leave the floor. I have faith that they will remain there until I give her permission to look at me. “Yes, Sir,” she responds confidently. I smile at her honesty. There was a time, when we first got together, when she would give me the answer I wanted. Now, I know she trusts me enough to speak her mind.
“Without trust, there is nothing,” I say, reaching down, tipping her chin far enough so she is looking into my eyes. “You’ve given me your trust, which is everything. This heart is a symbol of my love for you. I cherish your gift every moment of every day and promise that I will do everything I can to keep from hurting you. You, Melanie Elaine Erickson, are the world to me. I love you.”
I can see tears welling in her eyes. Before moving to stand behind her, I wipe the dampness from her cheeks with my thumb. I pull Melanie’s hair to the side, instructing her to hold it. Reaching into my pocket, I pull out a silver heart with two gemstones in the center. Once I have secured the clasp behind her neck, I reach for a small mirror I placed on the mantle earlier, holding it so she can see my gift.
“It’s beautiful, thank you.” Her eyes stay fixed on the pendant reflected back at her.
“Xavier, wake up,” Alyssa whispers, shaking my arm. I wipe the sleep from my eyes, checking the time on my phone. It’s been five hours since I left Jacob and Alyssa to have some private time. “You’re never going to be able to walk tomorrow if you sleep out here.”
“What are you doing up?” I ask, patting the cushion next to me, inviting Alyssa to have a seat. Seeing as I have to be up in a few short hours, I doubt I’ll be going back to sleep and I selfishly want time with my wife. She sits, resting her head on my shoulder as I reach for the fireplace remote.
If there was a way I could go back five years and treat her the way she deserves to be treated, I would do it in a heartbeat. I was such an ass to her, I have no clue why she stuck around. Actually, I do. She stayed for Jacob’s sake, begging me to marry her until I finally said yes. It makes me sick to think that I treated her like nothing but a meaningless fuck toy for so long.
Do not go there. Enjoy the time you have.
“When you spend most of the time lying in a crappy hospital bed, your schedule tends to get screwed up,” she laughs. I look over and see my wife smiling at me. How in the world can she live with the fact that she’s dying and still be so happy all the time?
“Fair enough,” I say with a shrug. “How are you feeling?”
Alyssa rolls her eyes, letting out a sharp sigh. “Like I could really go for a steak right about now,” she says sarcastically. I wish she would understand that I will always ask how she’s feeling. Whether we exchanged vows for the right reasons or not, I fully intend to keep them, and that means doing everything in my power to take care of her. “Seriously, whose idea was this stupid ass tube in my gut?”
She lifts her shirt, exposing the tubing coming out of her abdomen. The doctors inserted it because they said her organs are starting to fail. I’m pretty sure she’s still upset with me for insisting that she go through that procedure. While she can still eat, it’s going to get progressively more difficult for her body to digest food and the doctors suggested this as a way to make sure she’s not malnourished. “I look like some sort of freak now,” she says, staring down at her stomach.
“You look beautiful,” I assure her. After brushing a stray hair off her forehead, I run my fingers softly down her cheeks. She leans into my touch and we sit quietly holding one another. When Alyssa falls back to sleep, I ease myself off the couch, picking her up to take her back to her bed. I wince when I feel the differences in her body. She’s lighter than she has ever been and I can feel her bones poking into my chest as I make my way down the hall.
It’s not until she’s tucked in and comfortable that I retire to our bedroom. Finally alone, I don’t try to stop the tears from falling. I’m unaccustomed to feeling so out of control. Everyone in my life knows that I am the one who will find a way to fix whatever comes along. Now, my wife is dying and there’s not a damn thing I can do to stop it. When the alarm goes off, I drag myself off the mattress and into the shower. There are no more tears. They’ve been expelled from my body, leaving behind an emptiness that I know will only get worse in the coming weeks.
Chapter 3