I run off to the bathroom before Nick can see my tears. I’m not being fair to him. Never have I complained about Liam not being in Noah’s life and now that he’s here, I want it. I want to see Noah happy and be able to say he has a dad, but I also know Nick wants that title. He might deserve the role, but maybe I owe Liam the opportunity to let Noah make that choice.
When I come back to the living room, the scene is comical. Liam has all the kids around him and Nick is sitting by himself. I try not to laugh as I take a seat next to Nick. Liam watches me out of the corner of his eye and smirks when Nick puts his arm around me. He full out smiles when he sees Nick pulling me close and I know Nick is wondering why I’m rigid and didn’t just fall into the crook of his arm.
“Well, I hate to break up this party, but I promised Miss Peyton we’d watch at least one game downstairs,” Liam says causing Peyton to jump and Noah’s face to fall. Liam leans over and whispers something into Noah’s ear and he smiles.
Seeing Noah’s face light-up, I realize that I need to put my anger aside and do what’s right for my son and give Liam a chance. My decision will hurt Nick, but it’s something that I need to do for Noah.
CHAPTER 17
LIAM
Peyton and I watch an action-packed game that goes into overtime. I still can’t get over the fact she knows the calls better than half of the officials. She has me cracking up; she’s extremely vocal and holds her position well.
“Are you going to play football?” I ask her, curious whether this is something she and Mason discussed.
“Well, I’m not going to be a cheerleader like my mama was.”
Her response effectively shuts my mouth. Mason loved having Katelyn on the sidelines for his games and I admit it was sweet pleasure having my girl cheer for me. The best part was the away games. The cheerleaders would ride back with us. Josie and I always sat in back where it was darkest. My lips never left a part of her body until we pulled into the school parking lot.
Elle comes down, dressed the exact opposite of her sister. These girls are a spitting image of their parents.
“Mommy says it’s time for lunch.” She turns and runs up the stairs, not waiting for an answer.
“What do you think? Should we head up for some grub?”
Peyton climbs onto my back. I hoist her up and run around their basement like a crazed man just so I can listen to her laugh.
“Can we do this again next Sunday?”
I stop running and pull her around to rest on my hip. “I gotta head back to work, but maybe we can watch the game together on the computer.”
“I don’t have a computer.” I’m not going to let that stop me. I kiss her cheek and tell her not to worry about it.
When we get upstairs, everyone has congregated in the living room for lunch. Katelyn made just about every football food known to man. Peyton and I fix our plates and join everyone for the next game.
Noah’s sitting on the floor so I sit down next to him. I notice that he smiles, but I’m not going to call attention to it. I told him after I watched the game with Peyton we’d go out back and work on his pass route timing. I’d like to find a way to prolong my day with him, but I know Josie isn’t going to let me. I still need to sit down and talk to her about Noah and some type of visitation. Maybe we start with phone calls every few nights and I can come back to see him every month.
More importantly we need to tell him that I’m his dad, whether Josie wants too or not. I can imagine he’s going to be hurt and probably hate my guts, but I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to him. Not being a part of his life is not an option for me.
Noah’s plate is empty, so I take mine and his into the kitchen to throw them away. Josie comes in behind me, her perfume weaving its way into my senses. I hate that she can smell so fucking good at Sunday football and I can’t touch her.
“Hey,” she says, shocking me. I thought for sure we were playing the avoidance game.
“Hi,” I reply, barely looking at her. I pretend to clean, the ultimate chick move in avoiding an awkward conversation.
She just stares at me, her hands pulling desperately at her belt loops. I can’t stand here and look at her so I call for Noah and ask if he’s ready to go outside. He runs up to me, football in hand and races me to the door. I take one last look at her, her head down, teeth pushing a deep dent in her bottom lip, before heading outside.
I teach Noah everything I know. I’m surprised I even remember half of this shit, but it all comes back to me with each question he asks. I realize how lucky Nick is, living the life that should’ve been mine. He’s got my girl and my boy and there isn’t jack shit I can do about it except watch from the sidelines.